Overwhelmed

by Marita A. Hansen

  Relieved, I smiled. “How about you pick me up at Steepleton Park at seven?”

  “Sure, no problem.”

  We chatted for another hour. Tom talked about the detention he got for annoying the maths teacher. I laughed as he gave me an impression of Mr. Blake’s droll voice, the man having been the one who’d held the detention. I told him more about my race against his sister, and he cracked up at the mention of his sister kicking a cone after losing to me. I smiled while talking, the conversation between us not awkward like it had been at school. It felt as though I was talking to a friend.

  It felt right.

  ***

  Friday night was finally here, and I was a bundle of nerves. Unable to keep still, I swung back and forth on one of the swings at Steepleton Park. I hadn’t eaten, because I was sure I would throw up. My stomach was all in a twist at the thought of what would happen during the date. I didn’t have a clue what to do. Would he expect a kiss? And if he did, how would I kiss him? I’d never kissed a boy on the lips before, and was afraid I’d stuff things up.

  A bird flew past, landing on the seesaw across from the swings. It was a hot summer’s night, the slight breeze cooling me down a little without ruining my hair, which I had put in a half-up, half-down style. I was wearing a denim skirt that stopped above my knees and a sleeveless light pink blouse, the buttons left open to reveal a hot pink crop top underneath. It was nothing too showy that my mother would’ve looked at me twice, but still nice enough, plus if I wanted to, I could remove the blouse. I didn’t know whether Tom would like it, but I hoped so.

  I opened my purse and pulled out my compact mirror, checking my makeup. A mix of black and green liner rimmed my eyes, the colours making the green part of my irises more noticeable, which was normally drowned out by the brown.

  I applied another coat of black mascara, then checked my lipstick, or more accurately lip gloss, since I could never put on lipstick to save myself, always smudging the stuff. Once satisfied that I looked fine, I put the mirror away and glanced at my watch, a bit worried about the time. Tom was ten minutes late, making me wonder whether he was backing out.

  A beep behind me made me jump. I looked over my shoulder, finding Tom leaning out of a red car, grinning at me. I pushed off the swing and walked over to him, Tom’s wolf-whistle causing my cheeks to heat, though it made me happy that he liked how I looked. Smiling shyly, I moved around to the passenger door and got in.

  “Hi,” I said, closing the door.

  He didn’t answer, just stared at me, doubling my nerves. I was in a drop-dead gorgeous guy’s car and he was looking at me as though he thought I was the most beautiful girl in the world. It shook me.

  A smile curved his lips, heating the inside of his car up a couple of degrees. “I’m not usually lost for words,” he said, “but with you looking like that, my brain has gone to mush. Again, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.”

  My face heated even more, making me doubly glad that he didn’t pick me up at home, because my father would’ve soaked me down with a hose then chased Tom off the property with a shovel, ready to knock him out and bury him.

  “Thanks,” I said, the only word I could get out with Tom looking at me like that. His expression was sincere, which I didn’t get. I wasn’t beautiful; I was okay looking—nothing special. But what was special was the way he was looking at me.

  He glanced down for a moment, a soft rose tint staining his cheeks. Was he blushing? His gaze moved to my lips, then back to my eyes. “I’d like to ask you one thing so I can get through this date without pushing myself onto you,” he said.

  “Yes,” I breathed out.

  “Normally people kiss at the end of the night, but if you want me to function and not keep staring at your lips, I would like to kiss you now, if that’s okay with you.”

  I felt like my face had frozen. The fact he wanted to kiss me ... no, that a real live boy was going to kiss me left me speechless. His lips turned down, giving me the impression he thought I was rejecting him through my silence.

  “You can kiss me,” I croaked out, happy as his lips curved back up again, his smile causing me to smile as well. A second later it was wiped off my face as he leaned forward, the anticipation of Tom kissing me kicking my heart rate up a thousand notches.

  His hand moved to the back of my head, his touch paralysing me. He pulled me towards him and kissed me gently, his lips so soft, yet thrilling. I had imagined so many times what it would feel like to kiss a boy, but nothing compared to how Tom’s lips moulded perfectly to mine. Phillipa had said it was awkward and clumsy at first, but this was the opposite. Tom knew how to kiss and he was sucking all the air out of me, especially as his kiss grew rougher, his hold on the back of my head almost hurting. But I wouldn’t have changed it for the world, everything absolutely breathtakingly perfect.

  He pulled back suddenly. He was breathing heavily, his cheeks were flushed, and those blue-green eyes of his were fixated on me. I couldn’t believe I was affecting him like this. I knew he’d have me kissing his feet eventually, but for him to be looking at me as though I was all he wanted was amazing.

  A soft smile parted his lips. “I don’t think that worked.”

  I frowned, wondering whether I’d totally misread him, because it sure as hell worked for me. “What do you mean?” I asked, hoping he didn’t think I was a bad kisser. Or maybe my breath stunk. But, I had brushed before I’d left home.

  “I thought if I kissed you I could get through tonight without wanting to kiss you all through the movie, but now,” his eyes lowered to my lips, “all I want to do is to kiss you again and again.” His eyes lowered further to my chest. “And not to mention other things.” He chuckled softly, shaking his head. “You’re going to be the death of me, Kelly,” he said, raising his gaze, a sheepish grin taking over his face.

  “Why?”

  “I’m thunderstruck by you.”

  “What’s thunderstruck mean?”

  “Haven’t you seen The Godfather?”

  I shook my head.

  “Well, one of the main characters sees a girl and is thunderstruck by her.” He turned to the steering wheel and started up the engine, pulling out onto the street without another word.

  “You still didn’t explain what it means.”

  “It means I like you a lot,” he answered.

  I smiled, although I was sure he wasn’t telling the whole truth, because his eyes were twinkling, suggesting there was more to it. Still, I got the feeling it was good thing.

  “I like you too,” I said back.

  “Thunderstruck,” he muttered, making me want to see The Godfather now.

  ***

  The date was zipping by far too quickly, as though God was pressing the fast forward button on the video player, afraid that we would end up kissing again, or committing some sort of sin that would get me more than the usual Hail Marys from the priest at confession.

  Tom’s hand hadn’t left my knee since the start of the movie, except for the occasional itch. I’d wanted him to kiss me again, like he’d said he would, but he just watched the film, which I could hardly concentrate on. Anyway, Bruce Willis’ movies didn’t require much concentration, the explosions happening more and more as the credits neared.

  After it finished, we headed for his car. Tom nodded at some girls who waved at him, making me wonder who they were. One of them, a tall model-like girl in a painted on black dress that I wouldn’t dream of wearing, walked up to him.

  “Hi, Tom,” she said, flicking her long blonde hair. “You want to come to a party?”

  “No, I’m taking Kelly home.”

  She smiled wide. “Perfect! You can come over after you do that.”

  He exhaled loudly. “Look, I’ve tried to be nice, but you won’t get the hint. I’m not interested in going anywhere with you ever again, especially to some shit party when all I want is right here,” he said, pulling me into his arms.

  The girl’s eyes flashed a
ngrily. “Why would you choose her over me? I’m prettier than that plain bitch.”

  “You’re the only bitch here!” Tom snapped, directing me past the girl.

  “He’s a manwhore!” the girl hollered. “As soon as he fucks you, he’ll be gone.”

  Tom’s hand squeezed my arm, almost hurting it. I walked with him past a row of shops, not knowing what to think. Earlier in the day, I’d caved in and told Phillipa about going out with Tom, begging her not to tell my mother. And she’d said the same thing as that bitch: Tom was a manwhore. She had heard from some girls that, even though he’d only been at our school for a short time, he’d been fucking his way through the female population at an abnormal rate. I’d chosen to ignore her, because I really didn’t want it to be true, especially since I now had the biggest crush on him.

  He let go of me as we neared his car. He unlocked it and got in, firing up the engine while I slipped into the passenger seat. As I clicked on my seatbelt, he turned the ignition off and placed his arms on the steering wheel, resting his forehead on them.

  “You alright?” I asked.

  He shook his head.

  “Ignore that girl, she was just being jealous.”

  He glanced to the side, looking at me with a surprised expression. “Really?”

  “Of course.”

  He continued to look at me, still appearing surprised by my words.

  I shifted about in my seat. “What?”

  “No one gives me half a chance. Everyone always believes the rumours about me.”

  “I don’t know much about you,” I said, not wanting to mention what Phillipa had found out.

  “Jessika just told you I was a manwhore.”

  “She was being nasty. Is she your ex-girlfriend?”

  “Not really. I went out with her once. She jumped me, and we had...” he grimaced, “...you know what.”

  “No, what?”

  His eyebrows pulled together. “Is this an act?”

  “What act?”

  “Your innocence.”

  I frowned. “Are you insulting me?”

  His face dropped. “No, no, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just you’re really sweet and I haven’t met anyone like you. All the girls I know are basically dropping their knickers before I say hello.”

  I burst out laughing. “Seriously?”

  A small smile pulled at his lips, although his eyes still appeared upset. “Unfortunately. Apparently, I’m the new neighbourhood stud, or if you listen to Jessika’s friends: manwhore, but ignore those bitc... I mean girls, because I haven’t slept with half of them.”

  I stopped laughing. “Which means you’ve slept with the other half.”

  He bit his bottom lip. “I better shut up before you run screaming from my car.” He dropped his gaze, the shyness again not something I’d expected from him. “I like you a lot.” He looked back up. “I don’t want to ruin things with you. Let’s just take things as they come and see where it leads us.”

  “I’d like that,” I said, smiling at him.

  He smiled back, the worry in his eyes now gone. “You’re so nice.”

  I shifted about in my seat at the compliment. “You are too.”

  His smile widened into a grin. “Thunderstruck.”

  “I really need to see that movie.”

  “No, don’t.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’ll think I’m a total sap.”

  “You’re not a sap.”

  “I am when I’m with you.” He leaned forward and kissed me.

  I kissed him back, thinking if he was a sap, then I was a bigger one, because right now, I didn’t think anything could ever put me off him.

  5

  PRESENT

  We stopped outside the iron gate of the sex club. Tom pressed the button on the intercom. I slipped my heels back on as we waited for an answer. The walk here had been a bit too long to do in high heels, so I had walked in bare feet. Tom pressed the button again, appearing impatient, or perhaps he was cold, because he was moving about on the toes of his feet.

  “Maybe they don’t like the look of me,” Tom said, staring at the small screen on the gate.

  I wondered whether they were eyeing us up, judging if we were good enough to get into their club. “I doubt it, you look gorgeous,” I said, focusing on him. He really did look nice tonight. He rarely dressed up, unless it was in his officer’s uniform, something he wore when he went to the Naval Reserves every Wednesday night. So, it was a change to see him actually making an effort, and although his tattoo was partially visible through his white shirt, it didn’t detract from what he was wearing. If anything it made him appear even sexier, giving me a tantalising glimpse of what was underneath his clothes.

  He grinned at me. “You look gorgeous too.”

  Smiling at the compliment, my eyes went to the two-storey brick building twenty or so metres behind the fence. At one stage it was probably someone’s home, but now it was surrounded by businesses, a pocket of hedonism lost in a landscape of drudgery.

  The gate finally opened, again making me wonder whether they let people in based on their appearance. As we headed for the front door, my gaze swept a few of the cars parked along the far fence. A Ferrari, a BMW, and an Audi sat side by side, giving me the impression that this was an upmarket club. Well, the price sure reflected it, because Tom had said the door fee cost one-hundred and twenty dollars per couple.

  Tom pressed the buzzer next to the front door. A few seconds later, the door pulled open, the tall man appearing before us taking me by surprise. Not who he was, but what he was wearing, which wasn’t much. He had on a black top hat, matching the name of the club, as well as leather underwear and boots.

  And nothing else.

  He smiled at us, his expression genuinely friendly. “Nice to meet you,” he said, sounding Dutch. “Please come in.” He stepped aside for us to enter.

  Tom placed his hand on the small of my back, directing me inside.

  “Have you been here before?” the man asked.

  “No,” I said, keeping my eyes on his face.

  “Well, it costs a hundred and twenty dollars per couple.”

  I opened my purse and pulled out the money, handing it over to him. He took it and put it into a till, then refocused on us. “May I ask your names?”

  “I’m Kelly and this is Tom,” I said, indicating to my husband.

  “Well, I’m Fritz and I’ll give you a tour of the Top Hat. Please follow me.”

  He pushed through a red curtain, the man again making my eyes pop. He wasn’t wearing underwear; it was a G-string, his arse almost as bare as the day he was born. Tom glanced at me with a smirk on his face, probably noticing where my eyes had travelled to.

  We followed Fritz into a normal enough looking bar. European techno music was playing, luckily not too loud, because I really wasn’t a fan. There was a room on our left and a bar with a woman serving a drink to a patron. She had short brown hair and was wearing a half-cup bra, which didn’t cover much. I couldn’t see her lower-half since the bar was hiding it, but unlike the lanky man, she was matronly looking, despite her half-undressed state.

  Fritz indicated to her. “This is my wife Anja.”

  She smiled at us. Like her husband, she was probably in her early fifties. “It’s very nice to meet you,” she said with a similar Dutch accent. “Please allow me to put your belongings in a locker.”

  Taking out some money for drinks, I handed over my bag while Tom gave her his jacket. She put them away, then asked us whether we wanted a drink.

  “I’ll give them a tour first,” Fritz said.

  My eyes went to the long seat by the wall. A couple in their thirties were sitting there, holding wine glasses and talking. Unlike the hosts, they were fully clothed, looking like they were in a normal bar, contrary to their surroundings.

  On our right was a fireplace, which didn’t appear to be functional, the seats in front of it proof enough. It had intricate d
ragon patterns surrounding it in dark red and rich wood tones. A few feet from it was a large birdcage with a pole in the middle of it, giving me the impression that the only birds that went in there were of the human variety.

  “Please follow me,” Fritz said.

  We walked across the floor, passing the birdcage. Fritz stopped in front of a door next to the entrance. “This is the smoking room. Do either of you smoke?”

  We shook our heads.

  “Then let’s continue.”

  We followed him up a few steps. He stopped next to a wide U-shaped couch, which curved around a tent-like room, the one we’d been told about at the other club. It had holes in it and stretched from floor to ceiling. He pointed to a shelf behind me, which held a stack of towels, wipes, and a container of condoms. “This is all for your use. Once finished, please dispose of them appropriately,” he said, indicating to a basket. He then turned to the tent-like room with a smile. Despite his attire, his friendly tone relaxed me a little. Plus, there was no one having sex on the couches like I had imagined there would be, the couple kissing there keeping it PG.

  Fritz held the curtain open for us to enter the room. Tom and I stepped inside, followed by Fritz. He indicated to the holes in the curtain. “If you enter this room, be aware that people will peer through the holes or put their hands through to touch you. So, by entering here, you will be giving them permission. But if you don’t like what is happening, you should instantly leave the enclosure.”

  Tom slipped out of the room, surprising me. He’d appeared keen when we’d been told about it at the other club, stating that he was definitely going to give it a try. Fritz continued to talk, telling me that the room wasn’t for everybody, obviously thinking Tom didn’t approve of it. A second later, a hand slapped my arse, causing me to let out a startled yelp. I spun around, catching the offending hand disappearing through one of the holes. Tom’s snigger followed, giving him away.

  “Looks like your husband’s a toucher,” Fritz said, appearing amused.

  “He certainly is.” I left the room, finding my grinning husband on the other side.

  Fritz moved around me, indicating to a small staircase leading to a dark passage. “Let’s continue with the tour.”