Overwhelmed

by Marita A. Hansen

  I headed out of the bathroom, finding Tom where I’d left him. He was talking to a man and a woman. Now fully dressed, he looked up at me as I neared them.

  He pointed to the man. “This is Roy; we used to work together when we were teenagers.”

  I said a polite hello, then excused myself, telling Tom it was time to leave.

  “I’ll only be a few minutes,” he said. “Grab a drink and wait for me at the bar.”

  I nodded and headed down the staircase. The bar was practically empty, except for Eric and his wife, girlfriend, or whoever she was. They were sitting at the bar, chatting to the bartender lady, the woman’s breasts still hanging out.

  Feeling self-conscious, I sat down next to Eric and indicated for the bartender. “Can I please have some water?” I asked, feeling Eric’s eyes on me.

  Eric turned to face me. “I was hoping you would sit next to me,” he said, extending a hand.

  I shook it, feeling like my skin was on fire. His face was only a few inches away from mine, the man’s green and gold stare so intense.

  “I’ve wanted to talk with you all night,” he continued, “but you were always occupied. Well, except for that time on the couch.” He smiled. “But you were naked, and a gentleman never approaches a naked woman, especially since you could’ve turned me away. Is this your first time here?”

  “Yes.”

  “I thought so. You seemed rather nervous at the beginning, but by the end of the night you’d relaxed considerably.” He jolted, probably because the woman behind him had given him a nudge. He glanced over his shoulder at her. “Looks like I’ve been rather impolite by not introducing my friend. This is Natalija.” He leaned back so I could shake the blonde woman’s hand.

  “Nice to meet you,” I said, realising he’d called her a friend, not his wife.

  “Likewise,” she replied, her accent Russian.

  Once we’d stopped shaking hands, Eric moved forward. “Natalija came with me tonight because males can’t get in here without bringing a date, which is rather sexist considering women can enter alone. Though, males can be rather predatory.” He smiled wide, suggesting he was one of them.

  I took my water from the bartender, relieved by the distraction. I brought the glass to my lips, then stopped as Eric leaned in closer.

  “Am I embarrassing you?” he asked, his breath fanning my cheek.

  I shook my head.

  “I think I am.”

  I looked behind me, hoping Tom would appear.

  Eric’s leg pressed into mine. “Maybe you would feel more comfortable talking in private. Would you like to go to a room with me?”

  I moved my leg back. “Um ... I have to ask my husband.”

  “That’s okay, I’m open to sharing. Would you like a threesome?”

  I cleared my throat. “I’m not sure.”

  “Are you interested in me? You have been watching me a lot.”

  “You’ve been watching me too.”

  “It wasn’t an accusation, I liked you watching me, and I watched you because I find you very alluring.” He placed a hand on my knee, his fingers inching up my leg. “Is this alright to do?”

  Noise came from my left, the sound of Tom and the couple coming down the stairs. Eric removed his hand, allowing me to breathe out. After the couple had said goodbye to Tom, he came over to the bar, taking the seat on the other side of me.

  Eric nodded at him. “Hello, Tom.”

  Tom said hello back, but without saying Eric’s name. He probably didn’t remember it from their introduction at the beginning of the night, since he was terrible with names.

  Eric indicated to his friend. “This is Natalija, no last name, just Natalija.”

  Tom reached behind us, shaking Natalija’s hand. She smiled at him, then turned back to the bartender, who she’d been chatting with.

  Eric’s hand ran up his glass. “I’ve just been talking to your lovely wife. I asked whether she would like to get together.”

  Tom frowned. “Pardon?”

  “A threesome. Would you be open to one?”

  Tom looked at me, his expression quizzical. “Do you want to?”

  I shrugged, knowing this was what we came for, or something like it, but still feeling nervous and unsure whether I could go through with it. “Let me finish my drink first, then maybe.”

  Tom nodded and placed his hand on my lap, his eyes going to Eric, who did the same. Tom looked at me. “You alright with this?”

  I nodded, not sure if I was.

  Eric’s hand slipped under my dress, his fingers brushing my bare pussy, causing me to inhale sharply. Tom put his hand under my dress too, also touching me below, what they were doing shocking me. I was sitting in front of a bar while two men tried to finger me. I didn’t feel comfortable with it, it felt wrong ... I didn’t like it.

  I pushed up from the barstool, both men standing in response.

  Eric spoke up first. “Do you want to go to a room? It’s more private.”

  I nodded, my head moving without my permission.

  Tom placed an arm around my waist. “She’s only been with me, which means she’s in charge, and if anything happens that she doesn’t like, things stop immediately.”

  “As it should,” Eric replied.

  We turned to go into the closest room, but I stopped and looked over my shoulder at Eric, what I was going to say flying out of my brain. My gaze instead moved to his friend, who was staring at me with annoyance.

  Eric noticed me looking. “Did you want Natalija to join us?”

  I shook my head. “I’m just nervous.”

  “That’s perfectly understandable; just remember you’re in control.”

  I nodded at him, then turned for the room, realising that Tom might have wanted the woman to join us. But instead of asking, I pushed through the curtains, barely able to walk, let alone put two thoughts together.

  9

  PAST

  ‘If you cheat on me, no matter how much I love you, I will leave you.’

  Tom’s words kept playing over and over in my head; that one line branded in my mind. I’d hardly slept the night after his best friend’s party. It hurt that Tom hadn’t trusted me, but what hurt more was his pained expression. Someone had cheated on him, that was clear, his overreaction proving it, but that wasn’t what worried me. I’d called him a few hours ago, his mother taking a message for me, yet he hadn’t called back. Had he dumped me? I flopped back onto my bed, praying this was all just a simple misunderstanding, because it wasn’t my fault. And not only that, I liked him a lot, probably more. Actually, it was more, because deep down I knew I loved him, the pain I was feeling now confirming it.

  The doorbell went off, but I couldn’t be bothered getting up or faking another smile after last night. My mother had asked why I had come home so early. I’d just said that Tom and I didn’t like the party, then had gone straight to bed, avoiding bursting into tears in front of her.

  The doorbell went again, making me swear. My parents were out, while my sister probably couldn’t get off her lazy arse long enough to scratch it. I pushed out of bed and headed out of my room, walking down the L-shaped staircase.

  The bell rang yet again as I crossed the blue and white tiles in the entrance. I unlocked the door and pulled it open, finding Tom standing on my doorstep, holding a bunch of red roses and a box of chocolates. He smiled nervously at me. “Hi,” he said, thrusting out the roses and chocolates for me to take.

  I took them. “Hi,” I replied back, not sure why he was giving me them, though I was relieved to see him, just anxious over what he was going to say. He was wearing smarter clothes than usual, as though he’d taken some effort to look nice. He was dressed in black pants and a white button-down shirt, while his hair was slicked back tidily.

  “Can I come in?” he asked.

  “Sure.” I stepped aside, allowing him to enter.

  He started fidgeting with his hands, looking even more nervous than before. “I want to
apologise for how I acted last night. I hope you don’t want to break up with me over it.”

  I closed the door. “Of course I don’t.”

  He exhaled loudly, a big smile replacing his worried expression. It made him look adorable. I had definitely fallen for him; I just hoped he didn’t hurt me again like last night.

  He glanced at the staircase. “Where are your parents?”

  “Out. Only my younger sister is home, probably in her room as usual.”

  He refocused on me. “Can we go someplace private to talk?”

  I indicated to the rumpus room. We headed through the door, the sound of the large freezer humming away. Tom walked past me and sat down on the old brown couch with floral cushions. I slipped in next to him, placing the flowers and chocolates on the shelf beside me. A second later I wished I hadn’t, because my hands started to shake. Although he’d apologised, I still felt overly nervous.

  He took a hold of my hands, giving them a gentle squeeze, his expression going serious again. “It took me ages to get up the guts to come here and apologise.” He breathed out. “I really thought I’d screwed things up after last night. I was rude to you and totally overreacted.”

  “I didn’t think you were the jealous type.”

  He looked down at my hands. “I’m not normally.”

  “Did someone cheat on you?”

  He looked up. “No.”

  “Then why did you react like that?”

  “That prick was trying to pay me back by stealing you.”

  “No, I meant the way you acted in the car.”

  He leaned forward to kiss me.

  I moved my head to the side. “Tom, I want to know.”

  He pulled back, letting out a grunt.

  “Tom?”

  He sighed loudly. “I get paranoid that karma is going to bite me in the arse. When I was fourteen, my dad cheated on my mum with her sister.” He let go of my hands and started picking at his nails nervously. “It was why they divorced. I didn’t know the reason until the beginning of this year.”

  “Is that why you came back to live with your mum?”

  He shook his head. “I found out about it after I did something really shitty.”

  “What?”

  He dropped his gaze. “My dad caught me having sex with a married woman and totally lost his cool with me. He started yelling that I was ruining people’s lives, and that I was a bad seed like him.” He grimaced. “I don’t know why I said those things to you about cheating on me, because I’m the cheat. I’m the one who ruined someone’s relationship like my dad ruined his marriage to my mum.”

  “Why’d you sleep with her?”

  “It was exciting. She was hot and knew what she was doing. Her husband was often away on the road, so she was home alone a lot. I used to do her lawns, and she always came out to watch me, wearing these skimpy shorts and tight boob-tube tops.” He held his hands over his chest, indicating big breasts. “One day she caught me staring and told me to get inside, pretending she was going to call my dad, but as soon as I walked through the front door she jumped me. I thought all my dreams had come true. A few weeks later, she convinced me to stay overnight since her husband was away, and that was when my dad caught us. He came round to her place, because I kind of forgot to tell him I wasn’t coming home that night. He walked in on us fucking on the couch.” Tom leaned his elbows on his knees and brought his hands to his head. “It was horrible. He totally lost his rag. He threatened to call her husband, who was his best mate. It was how I got the lawn mowing job.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah, oh. I fucked my dad’s best mate’s missus. I’m a complete shithead.”

  I placed my hand on his lap. “You made a mistake, plus it was more her fault.”

  He let go of his head. “How do you figure that?”

  “She was the one married, plus she made the first move and jumped you. How old was she?”

  “Thirty-six.”

  “Whoa, that’s old.”

  “Nah, it’s not. She didn’t look her age.”

  I screwed up my face jokingly. “Ew, she looked forty?”

  His face went still, then he burst out laughing. “No!”

  I smiled at him, trying to look reassuring. “I still think it was mostly her fault. She shouldn’t have been hitting on you, especially with a husband and the age difference.”

  “I still should’ve turned her down,” he said, now looking sombre, his laughter short-lived. “It was another reason why I had to leave the island. She told her husband in the end, and he came after me. I let him beat me up for it.”

  My eyes widened. “You what?”

  “I deserved it.”

  “What did your father do?”

  “Tried to make me press charges, but I wouldn’t.” He exhaled loudly. “So, he went and beat the crap out of his mate. You can pretty much guess they aren’t mates anymore.”

  “Yeah.”

  “He ran a hand through his hair, giving it a tug. “Cheating ruins everything. It ruins friendships, marriages.” He dropped his hand, his soulful eyes moving to me. “Even though I deserve it, I couldn’t stand it if you cheated on me. I think I’d go just as nuts as my dad’s friend did.”

  “One: I wouldn’t cheat on you, and two: you don’t deserve anyone cheating on you.”

  “Karma, I know it’s coming, I’m just terrified I’ll lose you because of it.” He dropped his gaze. “I couldn’t stand that, b-b-because I love you.”

  I stilled. He’d said those words last night, but I wasn’t absolutely sure he’d meant it then, but now there was no denying it.

  He went to push up. “I should leave.”

  I grabbed his hand. “No, please stay.”

  He slumped back onto the couch, looking upset.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  He stared down at the floor. “You didn’t say it back.”

  “Say what back?”

  “I said I love you and you didn’t even react.” He pulled his hand free. “I never said that to anyone before. It just hurts that you don’t love me back.”

  My face fell. “No, I was just stunned.”

  He looked up. “So, you do love me?” he said, hope crossing his face.

  I nodded.

  A smile pulled at his lovely lips. “Really?”

  I nodded again.

  “Then say it.”

  “I love you.”

  His smile spread across his face, lighting his eyes up too. “How much?”

  “Lots.”

  He laughed, then without warning he grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back into the couch, catching my lips in a soul searing kiss, taking me more forcefully than he normally did ... and I let him, what he was doing thrilling me.

  His hand moved between my thighs, slipping under my skirt, my pussy calling for his fingers, although it scared the hell out of me. He’d never touched me there, never slipped his fingers under my knickers, nor run them down my pussy. Usually when his hand wandered down there I stopped him, but I didn’t want to now. Instead, I wanted his fingers to pleasure me as he kissed me passionately.

  He started flicking something near the top of my pussy, making me jolt, the feeling intense. Then he ran his finger between my folds, what he was doing driving me crazy.

  “Oh God,” he murmured against my lips. “You’re so wet. I want to lick you.”

  I didn’t reply; my mind was too caught up with what his finger was doing. Noise came from the passage. Tom jerked his hand away from me and straightened my skirt, then shifted a space over. A second later I realised why. My mother and father were standing in one of the doorways.

  I tugged at my skirt, absolutely horrified, the stupefied looks on their faces telling me they had seen everything. My mother quickly shuffled out of the room with her bag of groceries while my father remained, his eyes on Tom. He frowned, then followed my mother out of the room, shocking me that he hadn’t yelled at us—or attacked Tom.

  I loo
ked over at Tom. “They must’ve seen.”

  He nodded.

  “But ... they said nothing.”

  He glanced at the doorway, no sign of my parents lingering around. His gaze moved back to me. “Catholic repression. They’re probably already pretending it didn’t happen.”

  I whacked his arm. “Don’t make jokes at a time like this. I’m probably going to get grounded forever after what you did.”

  A smile split his face. “It was what you wanted. You were so wet.” With a mischievous look, he put his finger in his mouth and sucked on it, making me wonder why—

  My face dropped a second later, realising exactly where that finger had been. “Gross!” I cried.

  He pulled his finger out and started laughing.

  I smacked his arm. “Sssh, you’ll get me into even more trouble.”

  He stopped laughing, a few sniggers escaping. “Doubt it. Unlike my dad who went apeshit, they’ll probably be too embarrassed to say anything.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “No, I bet you they won’t say a word about it.”

  “And I bet I’ll be grounded forever as soon as you leave.”

  “Okay, shake on it,” he said, holding out his hand.

  I looked down at it. “I’m not touching that after what you did.”

  He sniggered, then held out his other hand. “If I’m right you have to come with me to visit my father’s family, and if I’m wrong you have to come visit my father’s family.”

  “That’s not a bet.”

  “No, it’s an invitation to see my dad.” He grabbed my hand and shook it. “Which you’ve just agreed to do.”

  “I agreed to nothing.”

  “Nope, you’re coming. I’ve met both your parents, now it’s my turn to introduce you to my father. Plus, it’ll be cool to show you where I lived for a year. It’s a gorgeous island.”

  “Waiheke?”

  “No, Kawau. It’s not far from Warkworth.”

  I slumped back in my seat. “I still doubt I’ll be able to go.”

  “Christ, you’re eighteen. You can even move out if you want.” He smiled. “And move in with me.”

  I went silent.

  His smile dropped. “I’m only joking,” he said, making me wonder whether he really was. “But, you still should be allowed to visit my dad.” He pushed to his feet. “I’ll go talk to your olds.”