Sweet Montana Christmas

by Casey Dawes

  “Do you want to come in? I have some wine, and a few beers.”

  “Uh. Sure.”

  Awkwardness made her clumsy as she unlocked the door.

  Sugar bounded up from her place on the couch and trotted eagerly over to meet them. After getting her welcome from Sue Anne, she wiggled her way over to Zach.

  “How are you doing, girl?” Zach crouched down by the dog with ease and a happy grin. A man who liked dogs usually didn’t want to break your heart.

  “What’ll you have?” she asked after setting down her purse and keys.

  “A beer would be nice. I don’t need a glass,” he added as she reached to open a cabinet door.

  “Okay.” She pulled down a wine glass and shut the door. “Why don’t you have a seat? I’ll get everything together and bring it over.” Really? She sounded like a fifties housewife. All she needed was a poodle skirt and a frilly apron.

  Behind her, she heard him cooing to the dog, and the clack of Sugar’s nails on the floor let her know how excited the small animal was.

  Traitor, she silently told her pet.

  She arranged the drinks and bowls of nuts and chips on a tray and put it on the steamer trunk that served as her coffee table.

  Zach was sitting at one end of the couch. She handed him his beer and hesitated a moment before choosing the other end. Sugar switched her attention and bounded up on the couch between them.

  Was that a good or a bad thing? It depended on how much she wanted to compete with her dog for attention.

  She snuggled Sugar close to her, and the dog settled down.

  “I’m looking forward to taking you to a game,” he said with a smile. “Teaching you the finer arts of ball play.”

  “You mean it’s more than nine guys standing around looking at each other interrupted by moments of activity?”

  He laughed.

  “Yep. But sometimes that’s a description, too. It’s more fun when you have a team to root for, but there’s a psychology to everything about it—which player goes where, the lineup, and the dynamic between the pitcher and the catcher.”

  “You sound like you love the game.”

  “I played a little in high school. It was one of my dreams to try to make it into the pros.”

  “Why didn’t you?”

  He turned his beer bottle in his hands, as if he’d never seen it before.

  She’d stepped into personal territory, but they were going to need to get to subjects deeper than favorite colors if they were going to develop anything of value. So she waited.

  After clearing his throat, he leaned back and looked at her, his lips pressed together. “Ultimately, I wasn’t good enough. I went to a few tryouts and made the first cuts, but there was always someone who could play better.” He took another deep breath. “That’s when I learned I don’t deal well with rejection. I decided to find another occupation that didn’t require me to put myself out there like that.”

  If he didn’t like rejection, no wonder the attitude of his squad in Denver had been difficult for him to accept.

  “Well, I guess you found it. No one’s going to say ‘go away’ to a trained professional when they’re in an emergency situation.” She kept her tone light.

  “Unless you’re a criminal or high on something. Those people aren’t exactly friendly.” His grin returned as he took the last swallow of his beer.

  “Guess I’d better be going.” He stood, and she did as well.

  He stepped toward her and placed his hand on her jaw, lifting her face slightly. After staring into her eyes for a few moments, he bent to kiss her. His lips were tentative at first, as if he was trying not to reveal too much of himself.

  She responded but made sure there was air between her body and his. She’d be a fool to let her guard down totally. She wanted more commitment before getting too close.

  He must have sensed her reticence, because he broke off.

  “I’ve got a bunch of night shifts coming up, and that always messes with my schedule. I’ll text you and let you know when I come up for air. Maybe we can take in that Osprey game.”

  “Okay.”

  “Sounds good.” He kissed her lightly and left.

  She closed the door behind him and leaned against it. Would she be enough to keep him in Missoula, or would he take the next big job that came along?

  • • •

  Sue Anne had just grabbed a cup of coffee when her phone rang on a Saturday morning a month later.

  Mom.

  “I’m going to take this back in my apartment and let Sugar out. Okay?” she asked Julie.

  “Sure.”

  Sue Anne accepted the call and swiftly unlocked the back door.

  “Hi, Mom.”

  “Hi, sweetie. How are things going? You still making a success of this chocolate thing?”

  “We’re doing well, Mom. I got a chain of stores in Missoula, Bozeman, and Billings to carry the chocolates, and I’m headed to Helena and Great Falls next week to see if they’re interested.”

  “Busy girl. Are you driving to all these places?”

  “Yeah. It doesn’t make sense to fly. I need my car when I get there. Besides, other than the construction, the roads are fine.”

  “Be safe, sweetie.”

  “I will.”

  “How’s your boyfriend?” Her mother got to the real reason she was calling.

  Sue Anne settled into the back porch chair and lazily threw a ball for Sugar.

  “We’re going to a baseball game tonight.”

  “You don’t like baseball,” her mother said.

  “I know, but he went to one of my movies, so I agreed to go to the game.”

  “Sounds fair.” Her mother hesitated. “I know it’s none of my business, but you don’t seem very enthusiastic about him. I thought you’d gotten over this friends nonsense and were really dating.”

  Sue Anne fought Sugar for the ball and threw it again before answering.

  “He’s too private. There are things he doesn’t like to talk about.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like what he wants in a relationship ... his plans for the future ... that sort of thing.”

  “It’s probably a little early for that.” Her mother chuckled. “He is a guy after all.”

  “Seeing anyone special?” Time to get the focus off her. Whatever was wrong between Zach and her, she was going to have to be the one to figure it out.

  “Well, there is this one man. He owns a big spread up by La Grange and comes into town a few times a month. He seems to be here more often now.”

  Sue Anne grinned. It sounded promising.

  “His wife died of cancer about ten years ago. He hasn’t had the energy to consider anyone else since.”

  “Until now.”

  “So it seems.”

  “Oh, Mom, I hope it works out for you.”

  “Thank you, sweetie. That means a lot.”

  “I’ve got to get back to work,” Sue Anne said.

  “Okay.

  “Thanks, Mom. Love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  After hanging up the phone, she stayed where she was and watched the dog. Life with Sugar was uncomplicated; the pug held nothing back. But the potential for an awesome connection with another human being wasn’t there, either.

  But was it with Zach?

  She stood, and the dog raced back to her.

  The baseball game was tonight. It was time to stop dancing around the issue and have a heart-to-heart; otherwise, they were going nowhere. It took two to mess up a relationship, just as it took two committed people to create one.

  • • •

  Zach poured a cup of coffee and looked around the squad room. His shift was almost over. He’d have enough time to shower and change before he picked up Sue Anne for the baseball game, but not much more.

  Where were they going? Was it time to drop the effort and let her find someone new?

  They hadn’t seen too much of each ot
her. His schedule had been jerked around by illness of first one member on the team or another. They’d gone to a movie she’d picked. To his surprise, he’d actually enjoyed The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, but there was something missing between them. Their dates were fun, but they weren’t getting to the next level.

  He suspected the missing piece was his inability to be all in, but he wasn’t ready to take that risk. Would he ever be? Just like him, she was holding back a piece of herself.

  He straddled a chair to face Pat who was staring at a manual at the other end of the table. “When did Ellen ask you what you wanted from a relationship?”

  Pat chuckled. “That’s a standard woman question after the first three or four dates. They’re trying to figure out if they’re investing the little time they have to find a mate in the right place. Oh, they may not know it consciously, but I’ve been around enough women to know it’s true.”

  “Were you ready to tell her then?”

  “Nope. I was scared to death.”

  “So what did you say?”

  “I told her the truth. Told her eventually I wanted it all—the wife, the kids, the dog, but I wasn’t ready to pick the woman yet.”

  “Was she satisfied?”

  “Not in the least.” His friend got up and grabbed water from the fridge. “But she stuck with me, and now she’s got what she wants.” He glanced at Zach as he sat down. “I take it Sue Anne wants more of an answer.”

  “Yeah. I told her the same kind of thing, but she’s still distant.”

  Pat uncapped the bottle and took a long swallow. “Is there something you’re holding back?” he asked when he’d finished.

  Nothing he wanted to tell Pat.

  The other man stared at him for a few moments. “Give it time, bro. You’ve just made the move from ‘friends’ to dating. It may take a little bit for her to loosen up.”

  But how could he make a decision about his life if he didn’t know she was the right one? Was he willing to give up his dreams of a bigger career to support hers? Would he be satisfied?

  “Why so down?” Tony asked as he plunked his bagged lunch on the table.

  “Nothing,” Zach said.

  Everything.

  “Tony. Zach.” The chief stuck his head into the squad room. “My office, please.”

  Now what? The stone in his gut gained another ten pounds.

  Chapter 17

  Zach arrived at the store a little before four, a pink Osprey baseball cap in his hand. He handed it to Sue Anne with a smile.

  “I figured we’d look the part,” he said, and pointed to the blue cap on his own head.

  Sue Anne’s body warmed at the sweet gesture.

  “Thanks.” She gave him a quick kiss and pulled her hair through the hole at the back of the cap. “How’s it look?”

  “You’re a natural,” he said.

  “Then I’m ready. See you later, Julie.”

  As they strolled down the tree-lined street, he reached for her hand. “How’s your week been?” he asked.

  “Good. I got Rosauers to come on board with the chocolates, and the manager said he’d talk to the other stores in the state. He told me these were the best he’d had—even better than Posh.”

  “That’s great!” Zach squeezed her hand. “So what’s next, after you conquer all the stores in the state?”

  He was really interested. Didn’t that mean something?

  “I want to go after the tourist stores—like the MSO Hub downtown. And then there’s selling over the web, but that means finding someone who can pack and ship for me. I want the chocolates to arrive fresh, not like they’ve sat around in 100-degree heat or below freezing temperatures.”

  “The weather does get extreme around here.”

  “So what about you? Anything new and exciting?”

  His grin filled his whole face. “The chief picked Tony and me to go to advanced training in Texas.”

  “What does that mean?” How long would he be gone? Was this going to sway his decision away from Missoula? The walk lost some of its sweetness, and her steps grew heavier.

  “We’ll be in Dallas for a few weeks. There’s a number of courses the chief wants us to cover. Only two of us get to go, and one of them is me. That means I’m making my mark. The chief respects what I can do.”

  She tried to put some enthusiasm in her voice. “That’s great! When do you start?”

  “Not until early October. Something about making sure the funding is in place. But it’s going to be awesome. These are some of the top courses in the field.”

  His happiness spiked the energy around him, and he walked a little faster.

  She was glad she was wearing sneakers.

  “I’m really glad summer is here,” he said. “We should go to the Bison Range or river rafting up toward Glacier. Would you like that?”

  He looked at her, his green eyes alive with hope and anticipation, like a little boy on Christmas Eve.

  It had been a long time since she’d gone to see the animals on the range, and floating the Flathead River was on her bucket list. If she showed him all the reasons to like Montana, he’d have more reason to stay.

  “Sounds great!”

  “After the game, let’s go somewhere and make our plans for the rest of the summer.” He patted his pocket. “I have my schedule right here.”

  “We can go back to my place. I have some beer and snacks. Now let’s see if you can make baseball more fascinating than watching grass grow.” Her heart was a little lighter. If only he would commit to sticking around, she could go all in.

  The game proved more interesting than she thought it would. Zach filled her in on the team, including their experience and specialties. There were still moments when she thought the activity slowed to a crawl, but then she’d get on her feet with everyone else when there was a close call or the runners raced around the bases.

  Zach treated her to a hot dog and beer, and they chatted with the people around them about the game, the summer weather, and fire season. After the victory for the Ospreys, she knew it wouldn’t be her last one.

  “In the fall, we can go to a Griz game, too,” he said on their way back to the apartment.

  “Are you trying to turn me into a sports nut?”

  “Something like that.” He grinned at her.

  Contentment wrapped her in its blanket. He was worth the effort.

  Once inside her apartment, she grabbed a couple of beers. “Why don’t we sit out back? That way Sugar can take care of business, and we can enjoy the fresh air.”

  “Okay. C’mon girl. Let’s see what fun things we can find in the yard.”

  With a backward look at Sue Anne, Sugar trotted out the door behind Zach.

  This is what a relationship should be like—casual—not all full of angst.

  They played with Sugar for a few minutes before the dog insisted on joining Zach on his chair. He laughed and picked up the pug. “You’re very demanding for a little dog,” he said and offered his face for a lick.

  She took another sip of her beer. They should keep things light and plan outings for the rest of the summer. But she wanted to know if anything had shifted, if the odds were better he’d stay in Missoula now that the chief had given him a chance.

  “What are you looking for in a relationship?” she asked. “What are you willing to give?”

  “I thought we were going to talk about summer outings.” He sipped his beer.

  “We will, but I want to know this first.”

  “Okay.” Another sip. “It’s hard for me to talk about this kind of stuff.”

  “Because Erin burned you.”

  He nodded but didn’t say anything.

  She waited. No sense in pushing.

  Setting his beer down, he reached for her hand.

  “I thought I had it all,” he said. “I worked hard to get the training I needed for an airport job. I know it may not seem like much to some—everyone wants to be a Silicon Valley million
aire these days—but it satisfied me. I could be of service, help people have a good day, often without them even knowing it. And an airport is a fast-paced place. Always VIPs coming in and out of a big airport, interesting people to talk with, and a chance to travel as well.”

  He picked up his beer again without releasing her hand.

  “Very different from Missoula,” she said.

  “In some ways. We still have VIPs here—probably not as many as Kalispell or Bozeman. People flying in want to be closer to the parks. But they still come through. Tech people, environmental people, and the inevitable movie people.”

  “But not quite the same.”

  “Different adrenaline rush.” He looked at her. “But I’m not really answering your question, am I?”

  She shook her head but smiled. Sometimes people had to take the long way around to answer something they didn’t really want to answer.

  “I just wanted to give you some background. I was on top of my game career-wise, heading in the right direction, or so I thought.”

  Sugar gave a worried whimper, as if sensing his internal angst.

  “I met Erin one day when she was coming back from a nursing convention in Las Vegas. She stopped to ask me where the luggage claim office was. Her bag hadn’t made it to Denver. One thing led to another, and I asked her out.”

  He scratched the pug, who was still restless in his lap.

  Sue Anne rubbed her thumb on his hand, trying to reassure him.

  Looking over at her, he smiled.

  “You’re easy to talk to. I don’t feel like you’re judging me.”

  “Thanks.” A warm glow filled her as she stared out into the fading light.

  “Anyway, Erin and I hit it off. She liked the same things I did—at least I thought she did. I know that at the beginning of a relationship, everyone’s on his or her best behavior, but she took it to the limit. It was only later I found out she didn’t like half the things I did.” He squeezed her hand. “And she was never as much fun at a baseball game as you were tonight.”

  “I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.”

  “See, that’s what I mean. You didn’t pretend that you liked baseball, but you were willing to give it a try.”

  “How about you? Did you pretend to like things you actually didn’t?”

  He looked into the night for a few moments then shifted in his seat. “I suppose I did. I guess I wanted her to like me, too. She was who I thought was a good match—a woman who wanted to work until the first baby came along and then stay home to raise children, just like many of the girls I’d grown up with in Iowa. I thought everything was lining up for me the way I’d planned.”