Paroxysm Effect

by Reynolds, Ashleigh

“Ready?” he asked.

  Gemi nodded her head in response; it was everything she had to pretend to be excited now.

  They walked side by side through the trees for some time. The only noise that could be heard was the crunching of their feet on leaves. Gemi scooped up one of the tree’s discarded fruit. She twisted it around in her hand. Although it was decayed it was still recognizable as the local type of apple, the yellow sweet kind one would use in pastries. They must be camping on the outskirts of a farm or apple orchard. Gemi dropped the apple and walked faster to catch up to Jaxton.

  The walk was reminiscent of the last time she was pulled from camp and taken to the stream by Sann, the night that their camp was attacked. The memory sent a shiver down her spine and she blinked hard to push out the man with the knife. It felt like ages ago when in reality it hadn’t even been a couple days.

  “It’s right through here,” Jaxton said.

  They had reached the end of the trees and were staring at a small hill. He extended his hand out to her, offering to help her up. Gemi glanced at his out stretched hand, and then him, she brushed past him leaving him standing there his hand still hanging in the air.

  “Or not,” he mumbled trotting to catch up.

  “I don’t need your help,” Gemi said to the open air in front of her.

  “What is your problem?” he called up to her.

  “Nothing, nothing is my problem.”

  They had reached the top of the climb; Gemi turned to him, still not even one hundred percent sure what her problem was.

  “You don’t need to baby me, I am full grown and more than capable of taking care of myself.”

  “I never said you weren’t.” Jaxton replied, his mouth turning down at the corners.

  “You don’t have to say anything! It’s the way your treat me, like I’m made of glass.”

  “Look, I don’t know what I’ve done to you in the last ten minutes, but –”

  “Just stop! I need some space ok?” Gemi yelled.

  Hurt registered all over his face. She instantly wanted to hide, never in her life had she acted this way and now she was more than a little embarrassed. She turned from him and started her decent down the hill. In her urgency to get away from him and the situation she forgot to focus on her feet, her toe caught the edge of a rock sending her rolling down the hill.

  Gemi hit the ground with a thud. She lay there at the bottom of the hill in a crumpled mess. She heard Jaxton sigh, shuffling of feet, and then he was standing over her.

  “Are you ok?” he asked.

  “Yes.” was all she could manage. She continued staring at the ground doing her best to avoid his eye contact. It was hard to sound strong and confident while having the motor skills of a newborn calf.

  “Are you planning on getting up anytime soon?”

  “I figured it was time for a break. It’s quite comfortable down here,” she told him not hiding her sulkiness.

  “Well then,” he said sinking beside her, “I guess I will join you.”

  “Great.” she said under her breath.

  “Ahhh,” he breathed audibly.

  She knew the game he was playing. She would not give in to it.

  “Why don’t you go set up and I will be along shortly.”

  “No, I believe a rest is in order after that tremendous mood swing you just took me on. Exhausting.”

  “Excuse me?” Gemi snapped.

  She turned to face him and instantly wished she hadn’t. He was staring at her his eyes alight with humor, a smile spread across his face. The fire inside her burned hotter, he was enjoying this.

  Gemi glared at him as she pushed up off of the ground into a seated position. She bit down hard on her cheek, trying her best to hide the wince that came along with movement. Her muscles hadn’t fully recovered yet.

  Jaxton cocked his head to one side, the smile still spread across his face.

  She held his gaze, collecting herself before she pushed herself up, quite ungracefully to a standing position.

  Jaxton rolled his eyes at her as he stood back up.

  “You know if you would just admit that you are hurt and needed help – “

  “I’m fine!” she cut him off.

  Gemi turned from him and continued on to the stream, her side protesting the whole way.

  “You’re so stubborn,” he called from behind her.

  “Oh I’m the stubborn one,” she mumbled to herself.

  The nerve of him. He had gone from one end of the spectrum to the other with her in a matter of days. He pretended not to care and then the moment she was in any kind of danger he was as attentive as can be. Her face flushed, going hotter the more she thought about everything.

  She was too confused. She had been attacked, multiple times, thrown in with a bunch of people she hardly knew, half of whom disliked her. Watched her town practically torn to pieces. Had been almost murdered then almost kissed, followed by the kiss being ignored a short time later. He had pushed her away and then tried to puller her back, and now he was mocking her pain. The way she was feeling was starting to frighten her. She had gone from happy and content to whatever this was in the last few minutes.

  Gemi stopped dead in her tracks, suddenly full of dread. Was she losing it like the others? Is this what happened, you start to feel frazzled and then bam you turn into a murderous wreck? Impossible she thought. He was just aggravating she kept telling herself. Just trying to push her buttons.

  “Resting again?” he said jogging up behind her.

  “Nope.” She pressed forward on their journey, head held high.

  That’s it he is the most annoying person on this planet. At least his annoyance had done one thing. It was distracting and allowed her to reach their destination. She just hoped he kept it up otherwise she was not all too sure how she would make it back to camp.

  Gemi fell down on a stump close to the water, thankful to no longer be moving. No longer had she started to catch her breath, Jaxton was behind her chucking.

  “Oh no, you are going to be helping me net the fish. This is a two-person job, why else do you think I brought you?” he said, his tone filled with humor at her expense.

  “Fine.”

  Gemi stood again, this time audibly wincing. If he wanted to keep up this game, she would just play to his weakness.

  Jaxton laughed and shook his head as he walked away. Right before reaching the water edge he stooped to undo the laces on his shoes, removing them along with his socks before rolling up his pant legs.

  Gemi glanced down at her own shoes and pants, knowing that there was no way she would be able to bend down to get them off now. He would not win.

  She stomped past him, walking right into the water ignoring the cold that soaked through her shoes and pants causing them to suction uncomfortably to her.

  “So how do we do this thing?” she asked.

  “Well,” he said walking into the water after her. “We each grab an end of the netting and walk it along the stream. The current should help filter the fish inside.”

  Gemi held her hand out to him waiting for him to give her the netting.

  “So you’re really going to go through with this?” he asked.

  “Of course I am. This is what you brought me here for remember,” she replied.

  “Ok then.”

  Jaxton tossed her the other end of the net. It came just shy of her grasp, falling in the stream below, the current taking it further from her. She had a sinking suspicion he had done it on purpose.

  Gemi walked downstream, the uneven rocks and strong current forcing her body to sway and balance causing an ache to radiate in her side. She grasped the net and returned to where Jaxton stood, a smirk on her face.

  “Ok so once again, we each hold an end and walk upstream. The water filters the fish in and we leave victorious. Got it?”

  “Yeah I got it. Water, fish, netting, victory.”

  Jaxton laughed and began to walk. Gemi followed suit soon realizing th
at it wasn’t as easy as it sounded. She was much shorter than him so the water hit her more than halfway up her legs making balancing hard. Her shoes added to the trouble, weighing her down and making her second-guess every step she took. At least she had a new skill. Editor and fish wrangler. It had quite a ring to it.

  “I know this isn’t easy.”

  “What?” she said, momentarily looking up. He was staring intently at the water and for a second she thought that maybe she was hearing things.

  “I know this isn’t easy. Running with a group like ours after growing up with civilization,” he repeated, this time glancing up. He gave a quick shrug and went back to the task at hand.

  How did he do that? Go from laughing to serious in a split second. How had people lived without chips? How had they made it through their day with their emotions swinging back and forth unbalanced? It was overwhelming.

  “I don’t think I ever properly thanked you for everything you have done for me. You and the rest,” she said

  “Everyone excluding Kia right?”

  She laughed. “I think that goes without saying. She’s really kind of awful.”

  “You have no idea.”

  The net tugged unexpectedly, pulling her arms back slightly. Another tug.

  “Did we just catch a fish?” Gemi asked, the excitement evident in her voice.

  “I would say at least two.”

  “I have never caught a fish before!”

  They stopped moving in the water as Jaxton took her side of the net and twisted it together to encase their prizes. Gemi was too excited to contain it. She bounced up and down, her sudden good mood radiating off of her.

  “If I knew that’s all it took to make you happy I would have taken you fishing days ago. Save me some trouble,” Jaxton called over his shoulder as he carried the net to the shore.

  “I don’t care if you’re being sarcastic. You won’t ruin this for me!” she hollered out to his back.

  She made a step to follow him when her foot touched on a slick rock. She felt her feet kick out from under her bringing her crashing down into the rushing water. It was freezing, overwhelming. The water poured up her nose and into her mouth choking her. Gemi pushed herself up with shaking hands, sputtering and spiting to clear her lungs.

  “Are you ok?” Jaxton shouted as he made his way back to her.

  “I’m good! That rock came out of nowhere.” She took his outstretched hand and let him lead her back to shore. Gemi sat down on the stump shaking from the icy clothes that now clung to her.

  Jaxton sighed and sat beside her pulling her into his arms. He rubbed his hands up and down her arm quickly, trying to warm her up.

  “I’m going to get an earful from the good doctor when we get back,” he whispered.

  “If I make it back,” she laughed.

  “Well I could carry you, but it would be tricky up that hill.”

  “Don’t be silly. I can make it up the hill on my own,” Gemi said leaning away from him.

  He raised his eyebrows at her in response.

  “I said I could make it up the hill. I obviously had issues with the downhill part.”

  “Well then, we should head back,” he said moving to stand.

  “Wait.” She grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. “Can we stay a bit longer?”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You’re going to fall ill sitting here in wet clothes.”

  Gemi sighed showing her obvious dislike to his continued babying of her.

  “Ok, I concede you know what is best.” Jaxton settled back down arms raised in defeat. “We will stay as long as you would like.”

  “Thank you.”

  They both sat there silently. Jaxton stared off into the direction of the water, and she stared at him. Even with her insight into his life he was still so hard to read, she never knew which Jaxton she would be talking to from one moment to the next.

  She stared harder willing herself to read what was going on in his head. His face was an impassive mask. She needed to see his eyes they were the only things that gave him away.

  “I’m sorry for being so brash with you,” she whispered.

  “Hmm?” he said, turning back to face her.

  “I said I’m sorry for snapping at you. I know that you are trying to help, but I’m sick of people looking at me like I’m about to break at any moment.”

  “I understand,” he said turning back away from her too quick.

  Well that accomplished nothing except her relenting and apologizing.

  “Why did you save me back in the city?” she blurted out. It came out of nowhere. She hadn’t even been thinking of it then, pow there it was. No taking it back now.

  “What?” Jaxton turned back to face her, a wrinkle forming in between his eyes.

  “Why did you pull me out back in the city? It seems to me that I have been nothing but a burden to the group.”

  “That’s a stupid question,” he said.

  “Well if it is so stupid then you should be able to answer it.”

  “I am not having this conversation. Let’s head back to camp.”

  Jaxton stood and began walking back to camp leaving her sitting on the stump.

  “Why are you avoiding the question?” Gemi yelled after him.

  Jaxton stopped with his back still facing towards her. The area fell silent, the only noise coming from the rushing water. The seconds ticked on stretching into what seemed like ages. Finally Jaxton turned back around to face her with a heavy groan, he said nothing as he stared at her speculatively.

  “Well?” Gemi asked.

  “You reminded me of someone,” he said, walking back towards her.

  “What?”

  That was not the answer she was expecting.

  “You reminded me of someone from my past. I saw you there in danger and I don’t know… something came over me. I couldn’t leave you there.”

  Gemi was at a loss for words. Up until this point she had adamantly believed it was his thought that she was a fragile creature incapable of fending for herself.

  Jaxton plopped back on the ground in front of her. He no longer met her gaze. Instead he picked up a branch and made designs in the soil.

  “Who was it I reminded you of?” she asked.

  She knew she was pushing her luck now, but she wanted an answer. Any second he would shut back off and the topic would be forever closed.

  “Someone I hadn’t thought about in a long, long time. Her name was Adaline.”

  Jaxton threw the branch towards the water Gemi watched it arch through the air before hitting his mark with a splash. When she turned back towards him he was staring at her with a look that was almost as if he was sizing her up. He breathed a heavy sigh and flopped back on the ground.

  “She was an innocent like you,” he continued, “sweet and trusting to a fault. She trusted me, trusted me to protect her and … I didn’t.”

  Gemi’s heart sank. Adaline was the woman he planned to run away with, the girl from the story Doctor Askel had told her about. After all this time he still blamed himself for her death.

  “So the kiss…” Gemi trailed off.

  “The kiss was a mistake as I already said.” Jaxton said sitting back upright, meeting her gaze at last.

  Now it was her turn to want to look away.

  “Mistake because you would be kissing me, or mistake because you were trying to kiss someone from you past?” Gemi asked.

  “Mistake because it would be wrong to kiss you. Ok at first yes I saw a lot of her in you, but then that wore off and all I saw was a scared girl who I pulled into something that she was not equipped to handle. I have a mission to get you back to base safe and I won’t be complicating it.”

  “Good to know I’m a complication…”

  “Ugh. I never said that!” He ran his hands through his hair. “You see? I can’t even have a conversation without it falling to pieces. This would never work and I can’t stand the thought of failing you too.�
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  “Why?” she asked tears now welling in her eyes. She was not sure why she was crying. Maybe it was his rejection of her twice, or him comparing her to a dead woman that had gone insane, but she could not stop her tears from falling.

  She felt his arm wrap around her and pull her into his chest. Instead of comforting her, it made her cry harder. Deep, heavy sobs that shook her entire body. It was as if the last few days poured out of her at one time. Jaxton said nothing more, he simply sat there and let her fall to pieces perhaps knowing it was what she needed to pull herself back together a stronger person for it.

  She lay like that for some time. Eventually the tears dried and her breathing slowed. The sun was now high in the sky. Jaxton must have been itching to go, but he didn’t make the first move. Gemi sat up, her head throbbing from the effort.

  “Let’s head back,” she said.

  “Are you sure?” his voice was heavy with concern.

  “Yes. They must be wondering where we are.”

  “Ok,” he said still hesitant.

  Gemi stood and walked towards the hill back to camp without another word. Jaxton followed suit, only touching her when he placed his hand on her low back to help her back up the hill.

  Everyone was gathered for lunch when they returned. Gemi left Jaxton with everyone else and headed right to the medical tent.

  “Catch anything good?” the doctor asked as she entered.

  “Yeah a few fish,” she replied.

  The doctor caught one good look at her face and sat straight up in his bed.

  “What happened?”

  “Nothing,” she lied. “Well actually I fell down a hill.”

  Doctor Askel beckoned for her to come sit next to him. He checked her injury as he had many times already. He pressed on her bones, checking for breaks and bruising before checking her healing wounds.

  “Well nothing is broken,” he said. “And your existing injury is almost all the way healed. You should be good to go by morning.”

  “Thank you.”

  Gemi hopped off his bed and made her way to her own. She crawled onto it and curled in a ball, physically and mentally exhausted.

  “Are you not going to eat?” he asked.

  “I’m not really hungry.”

  It was true she had lost her appetite after her and the doctor’s conversation, and that was only perpetuated by the rest of the morning events.