by KB Winters
“Ryker!” I boomed, garnering the attention of several nearby patrons. The waitress even shot a concerned look over at our table. Ryker, however, remained unflinching to my outburst. “Ryker,” I repeated, lowering my voice, leaning in closer to him. “Say something!”
“What do you want me to say? You gave me your answer and I think I know you well enough by now to know I’m not going to change your mind. So that’s it, end of discussion.”
I wanted to scream at him. He’d never given up an argument so easily. Ryker was the most pig headed man I’d ever met, bulldozing through any excuse I had to get his way. Why was this the one issue he was willing to drop so easily? I studied him, still fuming, but he didn’t give away any clues. I scoffed and looked over at the waitress, hoping she would bring us the check.
“Why are you upset?” Ryker asked me, dragging my attention back to him.
“I’m fine.” My tone was too snappy, and gave away my lie. I waited a moment, then added, “I just don’t understand why you’d even ask me something like that.”
“You’re mad because I dared to ask you to come to Oklahoma with me?”
“Yes!”
“Why?”
Because I want to say yes, and I can’t!
My internal answer smacked me right between the eyes, and I collapsed back against the vinyl booth. I couldn’t tell Ryker the truth. If I did, he’d never leave me alone, and even though there was some part of me that wanted him to fight me on it, argue me into submission, I knew that it wouldn’t matter. The situation was impossible. My reasons from earlier came back to me, and helped my heart get back in line with reality. “Never mind, Ryker. Let’s just drop it.”
He picked up the check when it was dropped off, and went up to the counter to pay, leaving me behind to stew. My eyes trailed after him and I couldn’t ignore the ache in my body. I wanted him—needed him. Whether he’d meant to or not, he’d left an imprint on me, and I couldn’t shut off my feelings for him. No matter how much I wished I could.
Things would be so much easier if I just didn’t give a damn.
He came back from paying, dropped a tip on the table and reached for my hand. I stared at it for a moment, knowing I shouldn’t take it. That his fingers intertwined with mine would only weaken my paper-thin resolve, but my fingers made their way to his before I could fully talk myself out of it. We walked together out of the cafe and back to where Ryker had parked in silence. I stole a glance up at him and noted that his jaw was set, a pulsing at his temple. Whatever he was thinking…it wasn’t happy.
He drove me back to where I’d left my car at the ballet studio.
“Everlie, I’m sorry,” he started, as soon as he cut the engine.
“For what?” I asked, turning to look at his profile. He was still tense, staring straight out the windshield at the light beams on the side of the studio.
“For dragging you into this mess and putting you in an impossible situation.”
I reached for his arm, but let my fingers drop before they reached the bare skin below the sleeve of his t-shirt. “Don’t be sorry.”
His eyes found mine and we stared at each other for a long moment. It was goodbye.
Ryker broke away first and got out of the car, coming around to let me out.
“Thank you.” I stood and before I could say anything else, Ryker cupped my cheeks in his hands and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. The sweet, gentleness immediately stole away my breath, and when he pulled away, there were tears dancing in my eyes. “Ryker,” I breathed, the rest of my words choked out before they could form.
“Goodbye, Everlie.”
Chapter Eight
Ryker
Everlie’s teary eyes haunted me as I drove back to my hotel. I hated myself for not saying everything that was on my mind, but in the end, I knew I’d made the right decision. She’d already made up her mind and as much as I wanted to try, I knew it was best to not try and sway her like I had in the past.
She was on the cusp of the rest of her life and it wouldn’t be fair to ask her to abandon all of her dreams to chase after mine. I knew I could make her happy, but what I also knew, was that somewhere along the way, she’d stop long enough to look back and a question would start gnawing away at her.
What if?
And when that day came, she’d start to resent me and our hope for a happily ever after would be poisoned.
She was right. It was better this way. We’d parted on good terms, each of us going on to do what was best. I might hate myself for letting her get away, but that was better than her hating me for stealing her away from her dreams.
The twisting ache in my chest argued, but I didn’t look back as I drove away from her ballet studio.
When I arrived back at my hotel, all self-indulgence was set to the side, when I opened my door to find Bennett sprawled out on the leather couch. He didn’t move when I entered the room, except to flick me a look of contempt. “Nice of you to show up.”
“Don’t fuck with me, bro,” I growled, going to the bar and pulling out a beer from the mini fridge.
“Things not going so well with your princess?” Bennett chided to my turned back.
My fist clenched the frosty glass. “What are you doing here, man?”
“Unlike you, I’ve been working. Came to fill you in, since you didn’t see fit to show up for the last meeting. Are you trying to get fired?”
I turned back around and leaned against the counter of the mini bar. “Just give me the details and get out.”
Bennett’s eyes narrowed into thin slits as he scowled at me. “Who the fuck are you, man? My best friend, my brother, wouldn’t act like this.”
His words stung, but I held back a flinch. In some corner of my mind, I knew he was right. I had been sharp, abrupt, and shady with him lately. And, I knew it had—at least, in part—to do with Everlie. “What the fuck do you want me to say, man? I mean—yeah, okay, I get it. I’ve been a shitty friend. But, you’re not exactly in the running for buddy of the year either, so don’t act like you haven’t been an asshole.”
“How so?” Bennett dropped his legs off the couch and leaned forward, bracing his elbows against them.
I sighed, missing the days when we could take it out to some parking lot, rough each other up, laugh and go get a beer together. Those were simpler times though…with simpler problems. “I’m not happy here, Marshon. You can see it, but it’s like you don’t care. This is your dream and I’m just along for the ride. Then, when I tell you I want out, you freak the fuck out, and tell me I’m abandoning you. It’s not fair to say that to me. Not after everything we’ve been through, all the times I’ve had your back.”
Bennett dropped his gaze to the floor between his boots. After a moment, he nodded, and brought his dark eyes back to mine. “Fair enough. Listen, if this isn’t for you—if you don’t want to be an Agent anymore—”
“—Agent? That’s the thing! I’m not an Agent. I’m a fucking Navy SEAL! Not some fucked up FBI super spy guy! This was your gig, not mine!”
“Fuck Man! I get it. Okay? Do whatever the fuck you want, let’s just get this gig handled and we’re done!”
A pressure released in my chest, and it wasn’t until relief flooded in to take its place, did I even realize how much the tension between us had been building up inside me. I looked over at Bennett, my fists curled up into balls, ready to strike. He heaved up from the couch, “Don’t do it, man.” And walked over to the fridge and helped himself to a beer.
“All right,” I said, once he’d cracked it open. “Tell me what the fuck’s going on with Sanderson.”
“We’re moving in tomorrow,” Bennett replied, his pseudo-FBI agent hat slipping back into place. “The two members we interrogated after the stakeout the other night gave up the details in exchange for protection. Sanderson will be there this time. Along with his other goons. It’s almost show time, Knight.”
I nodded, the finality of his words hitting me in the chest. Sand
erson was the leader of one of the largest militia groups in the country. A few months ago, he’d gone rogue, taking a pocketful of the most extreme members with him, and had been linked to a mall shooting and our sources said that was only the beginning of their plans. They were sprouting into full on homegrown terrorists, and we had to stop them before any more of their plans could be executed.
As SEALs, Bennett and I were used to going into hot zones, but there was something different about doing it on our own soil. The idea of going into a house, in an otherwise normal neighborhood, guns out, to arrest—and kill if necessary—a suspected terrorist was a whole different game. But, we’d trained for it, and I knew when the time came, we’d be ready. There was a reason we’d both been assigned to such a case—we were the best of the best. “I’ll be ready,” I replied.
* * * *
The next night, I met up with the rest of the team and we loaded into our unmarked vans. Bennett, Laura—no longer in her hooker getup—another two agents, Pierce and Lawson, and me, were ready, parked across the street from the house that Sanderson and his members had been using as headquarters. It was odd how normal the house looked from the outside. A plain house in a sea of the other plain houses in the subdivision. There wasn’t anything about it that would give away the fact that there was a nest of home grown terrorists inside, itching to spread their poison and hate using any means necessary.
“There he is,” Bennett said. He pointed out Sanderson as he strode up the driveway of the house, like he was just another visitor.
“When do we move in?” I asked, craning to look at Pierce, the lead on the case.
“On my signal,” he replied, his voice flat, as though he could hardly bear to answer my question. My hands fisted, hating his patronizing tone, and my eyes cut to Bennett.
“Chill,” he mouthed to me.
I watched as Sanderson was let inside the house. A few more people arrived, the driveway full of cars. For all the neighbors knew, there was simply a dinner party going on inside.
Pierce cleared his throat and we all swiveled our heads to our leader. “Knight, Marshon, you two go around back to make sure no one gets out. Lawson, Adler and I will penetrate through the front door. Keep your radios on, your ears and eyes open, and your head up.”
Adrenaline dumped into my veins as he dished out the marching orders. We all nodded our agreement and understanding, and Pierce hopped out the back of the van, weapon drawn. We all followed suit, and moments later, Bennett and I were side by side, guns out, stalking around the right side of the house. We’d barely gotten into place on either side of the back sliding door, when shots rang out from inside.
“Shit!” Bennett yelled over the noise. He tried the door, but it was locked. More shots rang out, and on instinct, I raised my boots and kicked in the glass. Bennett went first, a bullet barely missing him. “Ryk! Down!”
I crouched down, but followed close behind. One of the assailants popped out from behind a wall of kitchen cabinets, his handgun drawn, aimed for Bennett. I dropped him before he could get his shot off. The kick of my gun was familiar, but still surprised me. Bennett stepped over the body of the man I’d shot, kicked his weapon aside, in case he was still alive, and made further progress into the house, looking for the rest of our team.
We made it to the living room in time to see Pierce slapping cuffs on Sanderson. Adler and Lawson each had a man in custody, and two additional bodies lay on the floor. Pools of blood soaked the tile floor underneath them. I made a mental head count, and realized everyone who had entered the house on our watch had been accounted for.
“Marshon, Knight, sweep the upstairs,” Pierce directed, jerking his head in the direction of the main stair case.
Bennett nodded and I followed him up the stairs, guns still raised, in case there were any other thugs waiting to pounce. We were on the last room, and Bennett was about to call it cleared, when I slammed open the slated closet doors, and found a woman sitting on the floor, huddled and shaking. She held up her hands and looked up at me. “Please, please, don’t shoot me!”
Bennett joined me, but quickly lowered his weapon. “That’s Cassandra. She’s the one who told us about the meeting,” he explained to me.
“Cuff her. We don’t want anyone to think she was working with us,” I directed. Bennett cuffed her and we took her downstairs to join the others. Pierce nodded at us, and one by one, we took them out of the house.
I took Cassandra out, and marveled at how large of a crowd had gathered. The local police, an ambulance and two additional FBI vans were parked out front and had made quite the spectacle for the neighbors. Cassandra covered her face with her cuffed hands as I dragged her towards one of the vans.
The van doors slammed shut and I flinched.
“It’s over,” I said, more to myself than to anyone else.
Chapter Nine
Ryker
I was finally coming off my adrenaline high when I made it back to my hotel that night. Sanderson and the other members of the militia group had been arrested and a team was combing through the evidence that had been retrieved from the scene. It was a relief to finally have the case over, but there was hollowness in my heart that I couldn’t shake. It wasn’t until I got upstairs to my room, that it hit me.
I was leaving Vegas.
Boss had pulled me into his makeshift office before sending me home for the night to discuss the terms of my resignation. He’d told me I had six weeks off, and at the end of that time, if I still wanted out, he’d accept my decision and have me released from duty. I’d thanked him as I’d left, but his parting words were still lingering. “Knight, just make sure you’re walking away for the right reasons.”
My once solid resolve was starting to crack. Bennett and I were back on good terms, and when I thought about going back to Oklahoma without him, it just didn’t make sense. After spending nearly our entire lives shoulder to shoulder, it was strange to think of a life that didn’t include him. I knew he’d call and come out to visit as often as possible. He’d loved my grandfather’s ranch every bit as much as I had growing up. But it wouldn’t be the same as I’d always imagined. When my grandfather passed, Bennett and I had been overseas, fighting in the Middle East. After we got the news, Bennett and I had sat outside that night, watching the desert sky, and talking about how we’d fix the old place up some day.
Someday had finally arrived, and I had no idea what to do with it. It stung to think of all our plans and dreams being set aside. But Bennett was strong willed and stubborn as anyone I’d ever known. He had his heart set on being a bad ass contractor for the United States government. He wanted to keep fighting. He wanted to go back to the bullshit in the Middle East, and I knew I couldn’t talk him out of it. I also knew if I wanted to go back and follow through on the promises I’d made to my grandfather—the time was now.
With or without my best friend.
And then there was Everlie.
Thinking about her for too long made my heart ache, and when I got back to the hotel and saw the bed, I was nearly brought to my knees wishing she was in it, waiting for me. As a SEAL-turned-security-contractor, I’d known that a so-called normal life wasn’t an option. I wasn’t going to have some Monday through Friday job where I’d punch out, go home and spend the evening with my wife and kids. And working with the agents was even less normal. Going all over the country at a moment’s notice, chasing bad guys, putting my life on the line every day for some dumb fuck I didn’t even know—or care about for that matter—wouldn’t be fair for me to drag a wife and family into that mess. I knew other people did it, but I knew myself well enough to know it wouldn’t work for me.
And up until meeting Everlie, I’d been all right with that.
I grabbed my keys, jingling them as I thought about going out to the studio, or over to her apartment. Every cell inside my body was screaming, begging to go get her, to tell her I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t walk away and never see her or talk to her again. To neve
r be able to make her smile or hold her in my arms again.
I was a strong man—made resilient by the life I’d led. I’d been in some pretty shitty situations and there weren’t too many things I’d admit were too much for me to handle.
But leaving Everlie in Vegas was one of them.
I was halfway out the door, when something stopped me mid-step. All of my mental wrestling from the night before came back to me, line by line racing through my head, a carefully crafted argument. And the shittiest part of it all, was that it was right. I stopped, shut the door, and went to the window on the opposite side of the room, as far from the door as I could get, as if that would hold me back.
I pushed aside the heavy curtains and looked out at the Strip below. The glitzy lights, meandering crowds, and the rumble of traffic. It was odd to think about Everlie out there in the press. Where was she right now? Was she out with Tori? A flash of her dancing at the club, with the douche bag I’d punched out, flashed in my mind. Was she alone at the studio? I imagined her pouring over the achievements of her students, the collections of trophies and ribbons she’d shared with me the first time I’d gone to the studio. I knew it was killing her to have to say goodbye to her students. I hated to think of her alone and sad, those big, beautiful eyes shining with tears.
I pressed my eyes closed against the memory of the unshed tears clinging to her eyes the night before. When we’d said goodbye.
“God,” I groaned. I raked my hands through my hair. What was happening to me? I’d never felt this torn up about a girl before. Everlie was different. Special. I’d known that from the moment I’d seen her. I smiled to myself, remembering that awkward blind date. She’d been so nervous and timid. Just like the first time I’d taken her to my hotel room. The way she’d undressed for me, revealing her body slowly, intentionally, only to pull away.
My smile faded and I shook my head. It was the same thing all over again.