by KB Winters
I made myself a drink and settled onto the couch. I tried to lose myself in a movie on the TV, but couldn’t stay focused long enough to get interested. I flipped around, and ran across some porn, but even that couldn’t hold my attention. Sighing with frustration, I clicked off the TV. The hotel room was dark without it, the only lights coming through the window. I thought about going out but knew I’d get swarmed with women who wanted to take me home for the night. It would be a hollow, meaningless night, and while it would provide distraction, the idea of being with any other woman made me sick.
A knock on the door stirred me from my mental unrest. I uncoiled from my place on the couch and went to find Bennett standing on the other side. He grinned at me when I pulled open the door and bounded into the room, his energy swallowing up my self-pity. “Knight! What the fuck are you doing up here all alone?” He asked, looking around the room.
“What did you expect? Three strippers and a keg?”
He laughed and shrugged his broad shoulders. “Why not! It’s time to celebrate! Can you believe it? The first case with the agents is wrapped. Man…that was such a rush out there,” he exclaimed, throwing himself down onto the couch, only to pop back up seconds later. He stared at me for a moment. “What are you doing up here?”
“Packing,” I replied.
Bennett’s smile slid from his face. “You’re really doing it then, huh?”
I nodded and stuffed my hands in my pockets.
“I figured you’d change your mind. Especially after today. I mean, it was just like old times, right?”
“March, I’m sorry. Really, I am.” I braced myself for his realization to turn to anger, but he sat down on the couch, his hands splayed out on his legs. “You okay?”
He nodded. “I will be. I know I gave you shit before, but you were right. It’s your choice.”
His solemn tone and serious response floored me. Guilt flooded me, and I wondered if maybe his original assessment had been true after all. Maybe I was abandoning him. “Dude, listen—”
“No, no,” he held up a hand to stop me. “I get it. Okay? You promised Pappy you’d fix up the ranch. It’s what you’ve always wanted.”
I smiled sadly at the way he referred to my grandfather by the childhood name we’d shared for him even though Bennett wasn’t blood related. He’d been Pappy to both of us just the same. I crossed the room and sank down next to Bennett. “Thanks man. I know it’s not easy. But, hey, you’ll always have a place to stay when you come home. I can’t promise I won’t make you bail hay or muck stalls though.”
Bennett laughed and the last remnants of guilt drained away. We were going to be okay.
“What about your woman?” Bennett asked, turning his face to me.
Heat flared in my belly at the sound of her name. I stiffened in my seat and clasped my hands together in my lap. “It’s over. I’m going back to Oklahoma. She got the lead in a huge ballet. It’s not going to work out.”
“Damn. I’m sorry, dude. I know I gave you shit about her, but she seemed like a good girl.”
“Thanks man.” I nodded, sucking in my breath to keep my emotions in check. I’d cried in front of Bennett on two occasions, and although my heart was tearing apart—I didn’t want to make it three.
“You wanna go get a drink?” Bennett asked.
I started to decline, but changed mid-reply. I grabbed my leather jacket and we went down to the hotel bar together. We had a couple of beers, toasting each to Pappy and the ranch. When Bennett left, Everlie’s memory raced back in to fill the space, and after a few minutes of sulking, I asked the bartender for a scratch pad, and poured over a letter that I’d never send, telling her all of the things I wanted to say the night before. I had to get it out of my system before my flight the next day and figured that telling a piece of paper was better than telling her. The words I wrote were all of the things I had to keep inside because I knew that if I said them to her, she’d likely change her mind about the part, and I didn’t want that on my conscious.
When I reached the end of the letter, my hand hovered over the page, pen poised as my mind struggled over the ending. After a beat, I signed it off:
I love you, Everlie.
With all my heart,
Ryker
Chapter Ten
Everlie
I pocketed my phone with trembling fingers. It was official. I’d called Mark and given him my answer.
In six weeks, I’d be on a huge, splashy, Vegas stage as the lead ballerina in Fly. The idea still had me nauseated and shaky hours later when I got home after teaching. I’d barely made it through my final class of the day without having a full breakdown. I’d made several bathroom trips to dab away the tears that wouldn’t stop spilling. I’d told my students it was allergies, but none of them had looked too convinced. When they’d finally left after class, I’d called the owner of the studio and given her the news. As a former professional ballerina, she was understanding, and assured me that while I would be impossible to replace, she would find someone to take over my classes as soon as possible and told me not to worry about a thing.
After leaving the studio, I drove around the outskirts of town, then, circled into the city, closer, and closer, until I found myself pulling up along the curb in front of Ryker’s hotel. I hadn’t seen or spoken to him since the last time we’d been together. The night we’d said goodbye. I had no idea when he was supposed to fly out, to go to Oklahoma and start his new life, but as I handed off my keys to the hotel valet, I decided to find out.
It was pure insanity, but I couldn’t stop walking, all the while raging at myself for getting sucked back in. I was the moth about to get zapped on the porch light, but I couldn’t stop flapping my wings, flying closer and closer to the danger.
I was on my way to the elevators, his hotel room number still burned in my mind from the first night he’d taken me up. My heels were tapping against the marble floor, each step getting more purposeful, when I froze in place. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Ryker’s back pressed up against the back of a tall chair up alongside the hotel bar. I veered to the left and entered the bar, my steps back to being slow and shy. Now that he was in front of me, I began to question the reasons for coming to see him in the first place. Nothing had changed. I was still going to be based in Vegas for the next six months. After that, who knew? I might tour the country with the show, or, if the show failed, I’d be back at the beginning, going from audition to audition.
And Ryker? He’d be across the country, working on his late grandfather’s ranch. Alone.
Or, at least, he’d start out that way. I had no doubt that sooner rather than later, he’d be surrounded with country girls who knew how to ranch, wrangle and keep him occupied. They’d be like mosquitoes in the summertime.
I stamped out the thoughts of Ryker swarmed by cowboy boot clad women, and squared my shoulders. I wasn’t sure what I wanted, but I was very clear about what I didn’t want. And I didn’t want Ryker to leave Vegas without knowing how I really felt about him.
“Hi,” I said, hopping up into the seat next to him. He started when he heard me and after doing a rather comical double take, a slow, lazy smile spread across his face. His cool, unruffled facade back in place. I smiled back and my heart thundered inside my chest. The bar was full of people, and it was all I could do to keep myself from leaning over and planting a kiss right on his sensual lips.
“Everlie,” he drawled, setting off fireworks in my stomach. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m not ready to say goodbye, Ryker.”
He smiled sadly at me and brushed a strand of hair away from my face. “I’m not either.”
“Can I sit here with you for a while?”
“Of course.” He waved the bartender down and I ordered a sweet wine for myself.
The bartender hurried away and returned less than a minute later with a wine goblet for me. I thanked her and took a long sip, before saying, “I took the job.”
Ryker smiled. “Congratulations. You’ll have to tell me when it starts. I’ll be front row, opening night.”
A flutter of hope stirred inside me. “Really?”
“Of course,” he replied.
A long pause stretched between us. My mind circled back to when I’d first told him about the role, and he’d suggested making things work long distance. At the time, I’d been certain it wouldn’t work, but now, after going through a heart wrenching goodbye, I found myself rationalizing a way to make it seem logical.
“It’s funny,” Ryker said, breaking the silence. I turned to look at him, but he stared straight ahead, his eyes fixed on his glass. “I’m going home to Oklahoma; to fulfill a dream I’ve had for as long as I can remember. And you’re going to star in a ballet, the dream you’ve always had. We should be the happiest we’ve ever been. We should be out there celebrating and going off the walls crazy with excitement. But…we’re here, sulking into a couple of drinks, wishing things were different.” He laughed, but it was hollow and empty. A despairing sound.
“Hilarious,” I added, my own tone dry and regretful.
Ryker smiled at me over the shared, tragic joke, and raised his glass to mine in a silent toast.
After we finished our drinks, Ryker notified the bartender to charge them to his room, and then took my hand. He led me out of the bar and up to his room. We made love and it was slow, sad, and quiet. The opposite of the other times I’d shared his bed, but more satisfying in a down to the core, soul fusing way, that left me knowing that no matter what happened next, Ryker would always be a part of me, a part of my history.
We lay together for hours afterward, touching and stroking each other. Neither of us made promises, simply basked in the silent connection between our bodies. When we finally parted, Ryker stepped into the bathroom and after a moment of basking in the afterglow, I pushed my way to the edge of the bed and got up. I wrapped the sheet around me and walked to the window. It was night time, but the city below was bright as day, bathed in neon. I knew I couldn’t stay with Ryker all night, it would be too hard to say goodbye in the morning when I’d be rushed to get off the strip and back to the studio. I tore myself away from the window and crossed back to where our trail of clothes had been discarded on our way to the bed. I stooped down to pick up my jeans, and in the dim light from the window, grabbed Ryker’s instead. I was about to set them on the bed, when I noticed a piece of paper sticking out of the pocket. I pulled it out, not wanting him to forget it was there and send it through the wash, and was about to put it on the bedside table, when I saw my name scrawled at the top.
A spark of guilt hit me in the stomach, but I couldn’t stave off the curiosity. My eyes fluttered over a few sentences and then shot over to the closed bathroom door, worrying that Ryker was probably finishing up, before hungrily devouring the next few lines:
Everlie,
My head and heart are full of things I didn’t say to you. And now, I know it’s too late. You’re gone, and in the morning, I will be too. I want you to know that I will always remember you. You are the most beautiful woman, inside and out, and your memory will live on with mine for the rest of my life. I’ll probably always look back on our time together and wonder why we couldn’t make it work. Leaving you will be the worst moment of my life. But, I have to go. I know it. No matter how much my heart is screaming and begging me to stay.
You are meant for so much more than what I could give you. You will be a bright, shining star who will touch lives all over the world through your movement and dance. I have no doubt about this. It wouldn’t be right for me to keep you all to myself and hinder you from sharing your undeniable gift with others.
Just know that I consider myself lucky to have met you and I’ll never know what made you take a chance on a guy like me. But that I’ll always be grateful that you did.
I love you, Everlie.
With all my heart,
Ryker
Tears gushed down my cheeks faster than I could wipe them away. The door of the bathroom opened, and I stuffed the page under the nearest pillow. I swiped away the tears in my eyes and turned away, back toward the window, until I could get a grip on my emotions.
“Ready for bed?” Ryker asked, stepping behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist, his skin hot through the silky sheet that was still wound around me.
“I have to go,” I said, swallowing a sob.
Ryker turned me around, his hands on my hips. “Go?”
Without thinking, my eyes went to the pillow where I’d stashed his beautiful letter. Ryker’s gaze followed mine, and by the time I’d realized he could see a corner peeking out, it was too late.
He released me, went to the pillow and lifted it up, revealing the page that had been hidden underneath. He picked up the letter and waved it at me. “What are you doing with this?” He took two steps towards the bed and I buried my face in my hands. “Everlie?”
“I’m sorry, Ryker. I found it in your pocket. I saw my name and just wanted to see…” my voice trailed off, unable to form the next part of the sentence, still overwhelmed with raw emotions.
Ryker raked a hand over his hair. “Shit. Everlie, you had no right to go searching my pockets. What the hell were you looking for?”
“I wasn’t!” I shouted, shifting gears at his harsh accusation. “I wasn’t searching through your stuff. Why would you even think that?” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Because you don’t trust me, Everlie. You haven’t from the beginning! I just thought you were starting to, and now, this,” he snapped. His fingers crumpled the papers and I yelped, hating that he was destroying his beautiful words.
“Stop it! Don’t wreck it,” I said, reaching for the letter.
“It wasn’t meant for you to read.”
His harsh tone hit me in the chest and it was hard to suck in a breath. “Was it a lie, then?”
Ryker’s eyes blazed at me, sparkling in the low lights. His anger was palpable, radiating from him. “No, of course not.”
“Then why are you acting like this?” A new wave of hot tears welled in my eyes. “How can you be writing such beautiful, sweet words one minute, and the next be like…like this? It makes me wonder if there isn’t something else…hiding.”
“Like what?” He fired back, crossing his arms over his bare chest.
“I don’t know! Notes, pictures! For all I know, there could be an entire file of my personal info floating around here somewhere. You seem to be good at following me around, knowing where I am at all times.”
Ryker sighed like he was put out by the conversation. “We’re back to that again? Back to me being some kind of stalker?”
“You tell me! Why else would you act like this when I found a love note in your pocket?”
“It’s simple, Everlie. I don’t take well to people rifling through my personal shit. I expect a little privacy.”
“Ryker, please, listen to me. I’m sorry that I went through your stuff. I should have respected your privacy, you’re right about that, but please calm down. It’s not like the letter was bad, or some kind of secret. It was beautiful. Really beautiful.” My eyes swam and Ryker blurred through my tears.
I couldn’t understand why he was so angry, especially considering how much of my privacy he’d trampled on. I opened my mouth to point that out, but then shut my mouth again, intimidated by the rage still etched on his face.
The anger faded and Ryker’s voice dropped to a low, simmering growl. “Everlie, do you trust me?”
I hesitated. I wanted to say yes, to smooth his ruffled feathers and get back into his arms. To relieve his frustration. But after a long pause, I shook my head. “I want to though. So much. But…there’s been so many secrets and confusion.”
Ryker nodded and paced away from me. He stood by the window, staring down at the busy sidewalk below. “I guess you were right then…”
“About what?” I asked, taking a few steps closer.
“This isn’t
going to work.”
It took a second for his declaration to sink in, and when it did, all the fight left inside me drained away.
“No, it isn’t.”
I took my clothes and stomped into the bathroom. I dressed as quickly as I could, cleared away the smudged makeup under my eyes and sucked in a head clearing breath before leaving the room.
“Ryker, this isn’t what I want—” I stopped short.
The room was empty.
Ryker had disappeared once again.
Continued in...Knight Moves Book 4 releasing on Feb 16th!
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Acknowledgements
Thank you! We so appreciate our readers! Without you, our books wouldn’t need to exist. We truly appreciate each and every one of you.
Thanks to all of our beta readers, street team, ARC readers and Facebook fans. You girls are the best!
And a huge very special thanks to our wonderful PA, Shannon Hunt and Once Upon an Alpha. Without you, we’d all be a hot mess! Thank you!
And a very special thanks to our editor, Tina. Thank you for making our words make sense.
Copyright © 2016 BookBoyfriends Publishing LLC
About The Authors
KB Winters has an addiction to caffeine, tattoos and hard-bodied alpha males. The men in her books are very sexy, protective and sometimes bossy, her ladies are…well…bossier!
Living in sunny Southern California, the embarrassingly hopeless romantic writes every chance she gets!
Evie Monroe also lives in Southern California and when KB asked her to co-author her next books, Evie was ecstatic! Together, they’ve penned their first collaboration, Temporary Assignment, and have other exciting titles on the way!
They hope their stories take you away to a hot Alpha-land where you can relax and enjoy!
You can connect with KB on Facebook and Twitter! Say hi to Evie on Facebook! And stop by at KBWinters.com!