North Woods University

by Beck, J. L.

  Our gazes collide. “You’re so wet, Lily,” Seb points out the obvious.

  “You’re so hard,” I retort with a grin.

  “What a pair we are,” he grins back. “Perfect for each other in every way. I’m going to fuck you now, right here on my desk. If you don’t want that, then you need to speak up now.”

  If I don’t want that? It’s all I’ve been able to think about.

  “Please fuck me, Sebastian,” I whimper, and that’s all he needs to hear.

  With a growl that sounds more animal than man, he lines himself up with my core. The tip of his cock brushes against my entrance, the anticipation killing me. I want him inside of me. Need him inside of me. Right, the fuck, now. With a knowing grin, he rubs himself up and down my slit, spreading my juices across my folds and the head of his cock.

  A deep throaty moan escapes me when he grazes my already swollen clit, but that feeling is nothing compared to the mind-blowing pleasure that takes root inside me when he returns to my entrance and enters me in one hard thrust. My entire world falls away and comes crashing back together again. I know, because of Sebastian, I will never be the same person again. He’s touched me in a way that I’ll never ever forget. A way that has changed me.

  With a possessive hunger for more, he pulls out and thrusts back in, grinding me on his cock. All I can feel is him, all I can breathe is him. Keeping one hand on my hip, he moves the other to my shoulder, leaving me nowhere to escape. Then he makes good on his promise to prove to me just how much he doesn’t want me to be a secret.

  Staring deeply into my eyes, he starts to fuck me, “I don’t care who hears us.” Thrust. “I don’t care what they think.” Thrust. “I don’t care what they say.” Thrust. “All I care about is you.” Thrust. I’m swimming in a pool full of pleasure, and I don’t want to get out. I’d drown in it if I could.

  “I want you…” I pant, between thrusts, the sound of our bodies colliding fills the air, while the smell of sex meets my nostrils. It’s exotic and tantalizing. What we’re doing is forbidden, but it feels right, and I believe him when he says he only wants me and no one else.

  Leaning forward, he swivels his hips and captures my lips with his teeth. He nips, sucking at the flesh to soothe the bite he left behind.

  “You’ll always have me.” He grunts, sweat beading on his forehead.

  I don’t want what we’re doing to end. Not ever. But I can feel my core tightening, with every deep thrust, the head of his cock touching something heavenly inside of me.

  “Fuck, I need you to come, Lily. I need to feel you squeeze my cock until there is nothing left inside of it. Come for me, baby, come…” Sebastian’s chest heaves as he speaks, his fingers biting into my flesh as he thrusts faster and faster. There will be bruises left in his wake, but I’ll relish seeing them on my skin because only I will know who put them there and the power that that person holds over my heart.

  “Sebastian,” I cry out, arching my back off the desk. Pleasure floods my veins as I start to come. It isn’t just my body shaking, but my entire begin. Every muscle in my body tightens, every cell zings, and my mind hurdles into nothingness as I let all the feelings overtake me.

  “Fuck, Lily, fuck…” Sebastian pants into the crook of my neck as he grinds deeply inside of me, his cock seeming to grow. I feel fuller, so full, but also loved, so loved.

  “I’m coming… I’m fucking coming…” His teeth grind together, the words barely passing his lips as he empties himself deep inside of me. My chest heaves, the pounding of my heartbeats filling my ears, and all I can do is smile as I look up at him, watching as pleasure overtakes his features. He looks even more like a god with his teeth sunk into his bottom lip, his eyes squeezed shut, and his cheeks flushed pink.

  A second later, he sags against me, catching part of his weight on his hands. His hot breath fans against my sweat-slicked skin and I shiver.

  “Shit, I’m sorry. I forgot a condom again.” He whispers against my skin. “I’ll be sure to be more careful next time.”

  “Next time?” I blink. Everything comes back to me. Us. How we can never be together. How wrong it is that we keep doing this. I want Sebastian, but I’m afraid, so fucking afraid and I don’t know if I’m willing to let go of that fear.

  Sebastian pulls back, his eyes are soft, and I can see the feelings he has for me written clearly across his face. With his hand, he cups my cheek, and without thought, I nuzzle into his touch, not even realizing how much I need it.

  “When your sister died, I vowed to never love again. I promised myself that I would never move on, that no one would ever take up space in my heart like she did.”

  His confession shocks and saddens me all at once. He loved her so much that he didn’t think he could ever be with anyone again, at least not like this.

  “Then… why? Why do this with me?” Tears sting my eyes, and I want to tell him to get off of me. To go to fucking hell but I just don’t have the strength.

  “Because I love you, Lily. I love you, and it’s taken me this long to realize it, but I do. At first, I thought it was just the fact that you looked so similar to your sister, but I knew even then that it was more. I was attracted to you the instant you walked into my office. Every waking minute I’m thinking about you, and every day, I wonder if you’re thinking about me the same.”

  Gulping, I nod because I’m afraid that if I try and speak, the words won’t come out. Not after what he just confessed.

  He loves me… he said he loves me.

  “Lily,” he says my name so softly, I want to weep at the sound. “I love you. I want this. I want to try. Can we try? Can we see what happens?”

  “Like… date?”

  Sebastian nods, and my eyes bug out of my head. “I’m… I’m not sure…” before I can finish answering him, my cell phone starts to ring. He pulls away even though I can see he doesn’t want to, leaving me just enough room to escape him. I take it and slither off the desk, grabbing my skinny jeans off the floor and tugging them up and over my ass by the time I reach the couch.

  I can feel Sebastian hovering over me. His presence is like the sun. Always moving, always there even when it’s not.

  “This isn’t over, Lily. No matter what you say, it isn’t. I’m not going to let your fear rule us. I want you, and I know you want me. The answer to our problems is sitting right in front of us.”

  Ignoring my phone for a moment, I whirl around, “You’re the Dean, and I’m just some troubled student who can’t get her shit together.” All over again I’m alone, the walls are closing in around me. Sebastian is here, but he’s not mine. He can’t save me. “Then there is our age difference and our pasts, everything is stacked against us. We will never work. We’ve been doomed from the beginning.” I don’t know how or why I say the things I do, but I do. I think it’s time he realizes how much is stacked against us.

  Sebastian’s brows pinch together, “I want you, Lily, and I won’t give up. Not until we try.” He pauses, his pink tongue darting out over his full bottom lip. “I don’t know how we will make it work, but we will. We’ll never know unless we try.” The determination in his eyes isn’t wavering, telling me all I need to know, and my knees go weak, realizing how much he truly wants me, wants us.

  Still fear of the unknown threatens to swallow me whole. Can we do this? Really, do this? Be more than just secret lovers screwing behind closed doors? I don’t want to be his secret, but I don’t want to give up this chance to be together. Is being with Sebastian worth it, even if it is in secret?

  “I… I want you, but…”

  Sebastian shakes his head, “No buts, Lily. It’s just you and me. Don’t let the fear win.”

  As afraid as I am of being with him. I’m more afraid of being without him.

  “You’re mine, Lily, and I am yours.” He oozes a confidence I wish I had. “We’ll figure this out. I might not know everything but what I do know is that I’m not giving up on you. On us. Please, just give us a cha
nce. I want this. I want you. We might not be able to hold hands and kiss on campus, but we can tell everybody we trust. We can go on dates in the town over, we won’t have to hide everywhere or forever, just…”

  It hits me then, right in the gut.

  I’m falling in love with him.

  Nope, not falling.

  I am in love with him.

  79

  Sebastian

  I watch Lily as she nervously wrings her hands in her lap while we wait for Rem and Jules to get to the restaurant.

  “You sure this is not going to be super awkward?” She whispers across the table like it’s some kind of secret.

  “Why would it be? It’s not like Rem and Jules didn’t know already,” I try to soothe her. “Trust me, they are perfectly fine with us dating. Jules was basically jumping for joy when I told her.”

  Lily arches a brow. “And Remington?”

  “Well, he’s not really the jumping for joy kind of guy, but he slapped me on the back and handed me a beer, which is pretty much the same.” I look up and spot Rem and Jules as they walk into the restaurant hand in hand. “Here they are.”

  Lily stiffens beside me, and I wonder why she is so damn worried about this? They walk up to our table. Rem nods his head toward me, and Jules has a smile so huge it fills her whole face. Yeah, she is definitely happy about this.

  Lily stands up as Jules comes straight for her, wrapping her slender arms around her, engulfing her in a big hug. When they release each other, Lily looks around and meets Rem’s eyes. He gives her a welcoming smile that I hope soothes some of the worry. As soon as she realizes that Jules and Rem are really okay with this, she relaxes. I can see the tension drain from her body, her shoulders drop and her back becoming less like a rod.

  Jules comes around and gives me half a hug as well before we all sit back down.

  “I’m glad we get to do this,” Jules chimes, just as the waitress comes around and takes our drink order.

  “Me too, I was a little nervous,” Lily admits. “I didn’t know what you would think about… us.”

  “Lily, we are nothing but happy for you. There is no reason why you two shouldn’t be together.” Jules beams.

  “Well, the university policy disagrees with you,” Lily points out.

  “It’s a stupid policy, made up by some asshat paper pushers. Fuck them,” Rem chides.

  “It’s not that easy. If they find out, Sebastian will lose his job and me my scholarship,” Lily says a sadness in her tone. The risk is there, in every single thing we do, but risking everything for love? Yeah, it’s worth it.

  “Well, you never have to hide from us. We are happy Sebastian finally came to his senses. I mean, we could see he was head over heels for you from ten miles away. It just took him a bit to see it.” Jules says, giving me a sweet smile.

  “Yeah, he is stupid like that,” Rem chuckles. “Glad you came to your senses, big bro.”

  Rem is interrupted by the waitress coming to drop off our drinks and take our food order. When she leaves again, I elbow him in the side for his little show of calling me stupid.

  “What was that for?” he grumbles.

  “For calling me stupid.” I take a pull from the beer I ordered. Lily and Jules break off into conversation about classes, and how things have been going for each of them. Listening intently, I find nothing but joy in seeing Lily smile and interact with my family. It makes my heart swell, my thoughts shift. This is us. We’re really doing this. Really a couple. My face slices in two with the smile that overtakes it.

  Moving my hand beneath the table, I find Lily’s hand and intertwine our fingers. She pauses mid-sentence, and I notice the slight intake of breath before she starts to breathe normally again. All she’s worried about lately is showing any type of PDA, but I want her to know that I don’t see her as a secret. Deep down, I want to scream to the world, she is mine, but I have to find a way to do that without jeopardizing everything we have.

  “Have you noticed a change in Lex at all?” Rem asks interrupting my thoughts.

  “A little, why?”

  Rem shrugs, “He just hasn’t been himself. He flies off the handle at small things, and one day, I swear he was going to have a panic attack over the microwave going off.”

  “Maybe he’s got PTSD?” I take another swig of my beer, “I’ve noticed he’s become a little hot-headed, but nothing insane. Maybe we should sit down and talk to him together?”

  “Yeah, maybe,” Rem nods, “I just feel like a shit brother for not being there for him. Like yeah, I have my own stuff going on, but I should put more time into hanging out with him, and shit. Hell, I don’t even know where he’s staying right now.”

  The ache in Rem’s voice tells me all I need to know. I’ve heard that guilt-laced tone a time or two before, and whatever he’s thinking, he’s blaming himself for.

  “I went by his apartment the other day. It’s down by Milton Road,” I say, hoping to put his mind at ease.

  “Well, I haven’t been invited over there,” he murmurs, sounding a tiny bit offended.

  “A door goes both ways, Rem, you can open or close it, but if it never moves there’s always going to be a door between you.”

  Rem snorts, “Thanks for the analogy.”

  Rolling my eyes, I bite back a smart-ass remark. The waitress returns with our food, and we eat mostly in silence. Lily is all smiles, her pink painted lips are tantalizing, beckoning me forward, and leaving me with indecent thoughts. Shit, all I want to do is take her across the table and screw her into oblivion.

  Rem must be able to read my facial expressions because a tiny bubble of laughter passes his lips, earning us both a confused look from Jules and Lily.

  “What’s so funny, you two?” Jules asks accusingly.

  “Nothing.” I shake my head, fighting off a grin because of my brother’s stupid face.

  “Everything, baby, everything…” He says, leaning into Jules, his lips brushing against the side of her throat. She emits a tiny squeak, and a blush creeps up her cheeks.

  “Stop it, Remmy. We’re in a restaurant!” She pushes him away, but even I can tell she’s not immune to my brother’s advances. There’s a reason he used to be considered the biggest manwhore on campus.

  Lily squeezes my hand, and though she’s smiling, I can see the sadness lingering in her eyes. To be able to do what Rem and Jules are doing right now.

  Leaning into her, I lick my lips, my eyes dart between her eyes and those pink pillowy lips of hers. I’m consumed with the need to kiss her, “We don’t have to be so careful here.”

  I don’t even give her a chance to respond before my lips descend on hers. There is nothing like kissing Lily. She whimpers into my mouth, and I swallow up whatever it is she wants to say. Nipping at her bottom lip, I wait for her to let me deepen the kiss, but she presses her lips into a firm line, making it impossible for me to enter that perfect mouth of hers.

  Giving up, I break the kiss, it’s best not to tease my already steel hard cock.

  “Sebastian,” Lily pants, her chest rising and falling rapidly, her creamy white cheeks, a dusky pink as she scans the restaurant like someone is going to jump up and point a finger at us.

  “Yes, Lily,” I grin, my heart racing in my chest. I haven’t felt this alive since I was a teenager. Jules and Remington are smiling from ear to ear, their happiness for me only adds to my own. I’m an overflowing pot of joy right now.

  The waitress stops by the table, dropping off the check. Lily tries her best to put a smile on, but I know what I just did is eating her up. We pay, and soon it’s time to leave.

  “We have to do this again!” Jules announces as we all get up and head for the door. “I’ve missed going on double dates. Everyone is always busy.”

  Taking Lily’s hand into mine, I pull her into my side, “Of course, we will do this again. We’ll go on so many double dates, you’ll get tired of us.”

  “Doubt that’ll ever happen. Jules loves you, prob
ably more than me,” Remington frowns, making a puppy dog face at Jules who merely rolls her eyes.

  “I am the better brother, so I’m not at all surprised by that,” I say with a laugh. Rem grunts in response, and as we trail around the corner, I almost run headfirst into someone.

  “I’m so sorry…” I start, but the words lodge in my throat when I realize who it is that I just about ran over.

  Clark Jefferson and his girlfriend, Emerson stare at me for a second, before shifting their gaze down to mine and Lily’s joined hands. I can feel Lily trying to disappear into my side, probably wishing the floor would swallow her whole.

  “Sebastian…” Clark swallows thickly, and I can see he’s trying not to make this awkward but is there really any way not to. He’s seen me with my cock out and my pants down around my ankles. He’s seen me, the Dean of the university, getting a blowjob. Yeah, there’s no way around this.

  “Clark, Emerson. It’s nice to see you.”

  “Emerson!” Jules squeaks with excitement as she engulfs Emerson’s tiny frame in a hug. Emerson looks like she wants to run away. Through it all, Lily remains at my side, unspeaking, unmoving, like a statue.

  “Dude, Clark.” Rem greets him, and I swear I’ve never felt so out of my element in my entire life. Rem and Jules have no idea what those two have seen us do, so when Jules glances over to Lily and sees her standing there like a ghost, her eyebrows go up in confusion.

  “Well, um, we were just leaving…” I force my mouth up into a smile. Clark nods, and Emerson gives me a shy smile, her eyes not quite meeting mine. Tightening my grip on Lily’s hand, I pull her around Clark and Emerson, and toward the door. Rem questions me with a raised brow but thankfully doesn’t ask anything.

  Rem and Jules say their goodbyes and promise to meet up sometime soon. Once out of earshot Lily whispers, “Do you think they remember me?”

  All I can do is nod my head. I can’t lie to her. It’s not like we were doing something wrong, not really. Once outside, it feels like I can finally breathe, and I suck all the air I can into my lungs. I’ve just exhaled the breath when Rem comes walking up to me.