North Woods University

by Beck, J. L.

  “Hello,” a middle-aged woman greets me with a big smile.

  “Hi,” I murmur, lowering my head. I don’t know why, but I suddenly feel like a teenager buying condoms and lube.

  “Can I help you, dear?” the lady asks.

  “Mhm… no, I’m just looking around.” Ugh, this is ridiculous. “Actually, I’m looking for a pregnancy test,” I admit.

  “Okay, that’s aisle five, next to the pads and tampons.”

  “Thank you,” I say and give her a thankful smile. Making my way to aisle five, I pass a woman pushing a cart. There is a little boy sitting in the cart, he eyes me curiously and then smiles a toothless grin.

  I can’t help but smile in return. My thoughts swirl as I reach the aisle. Could I handle having a baby? Sebastian has mentioned wanting children, and while I want children as well, I think if this pregnancy test is negative, we need to sit down and discuss our future.

  Stopping in front of the pregnancy tests, I scan the boxes. There are at least five different tests, some off-brand, and a few that say you can test ten days sooner. What does it all mean?

  Maybe I should call Jules? She just found out she’s pregnant if anyone could tell me what test to get it would be her. Tapping my foot against the floor, I contemplate calling her, before deciding against it completely. Instead, I grab a couple different tests and walk up to the checkout. The lady who greeted me earlier checks me out without question, and I pay, telling her goodbye. On my way out, I spot the bathrooms and make a beeline for them, deciding to take the test here rather than at home.

  My hands shake as I enter the stall and lock it behind me. Ripping open two of the boxes, I set the tests on the toilet paper box. Then I do my business peeing on each test before placing it back on its box. When I’m finished, I wash my hands and walk back into the stall, pacing the floor while I wait for the three minutes it says it takes for the test to work.

  I’m a ball of nerves as I wait… what will Sebastian think? What if it’s negative? What happens then? My throat tightens as I stop pacing and walk back over to where the tests are sitting. Maybe I should’ve done this at home. I’m close to having a nervous breakdown, and the last thing I want is for someone to see me fall apart in the grocery store.

  Reality crashes into me like a car hitting a brick wall as my gaze bounces back and forth between the two positive pregnancy tests.

  One positive could still mean it’s wrong, but two, there is no way around it.

  Bringing a hand to my racing heart, I try and calm myself. Thump, thump, thump. It feels like my heart is trying to take flight.

  I’m pregnant. I’m having a baby. I’m having a baby with Sebastian Miller, and we aren’t married, and our relationship is brand new and… I force air into my lungs to stop myself from going into a full-blown panic attack.

  Tears well in my eyes and my hand moves from my chest to my stomach as if out of instinct. Okay, I’m having a baby, we’re having a baby. Everything is going to be okay, everything. I’m terrified of what’s going to happen next, but that doesn’t mean I’m not filled with joy. There is a tiny little baby growing inside of me. A special piece of both Sebastian and I and there is nothing more precious than that.

  For some reason, it hits me then, all of the pain over losing my family crashes into me, and suddenly it feels like I’ve lost them all over again. The wound pulsing and bleeding, as fresh as the day it happened. I wonder what my mother would think of me now. Would she be proud? Would my sister be happy that I found love, that Sebastian found love? I try not to dwell on what she would think, fear of disappointing her being my biggest fear.

  It’s okay, everything is okay. I repeat to myself.

  Wiping the tears from my face, I gather up the tests and put them in the plastic bag along with the other two tests that I’ll take late for Sebastian. Then I leave the store and head to the house. Walking down the sidewalk, I find myself smiling. I’m going to be a mommy; Sebastian is going to be a daddy. Jules will be an aunt, and Rem and Lex uncles.

  With every step I take, I calm a little bit more. Nearing the house, I round the corner and crash into a woman who looks as if she’s in a hurry. Opening my mouth, I go to apologize, but the words never come out. Before I realize what is happening, she has moved around me and is covering my mouth and nose with a cloth and wrapping an arm around my middle, pulling me back against her chest.

  Confusion and fear rush to the surface as I struggle against her hold. There’s no point in fighting though, the more I fight, the harder I breathe, and it only takes a few breathes for me to discover I’m fading, the darkness circling in around me with every inhale I take. My last thought before it all falls away is that Sebastian never got to find out about our baby. He never got to know he was going to be a father.

  87

  Sebastian

  Like every day when I get home, I chuck my jacket and deposit all my shit on the table. Fuck, have I missed my woman today. Calling out into what appears to be an empty house, I say, “Baby, you better be naked and ready for me because my cock is hungry and he’s coming for your pussy.”

  I expect to hear a giggle or a, seriously, but instead, I’m met with nothing more than silence. A second passes, and then another, and before I can think about it, I’m climbing the stairs up to Lily’s studio. Inky fear fills my veins when I find the studio empty, the entire room clean, every item in its place.

  Where is she?

  Would she leave again? I don’t even want to think about that. The idea of losing her makes me rabid, it makes me… I can’t even think about it, it hurts too much. Walking back down the stairs, I check the rest of the house just to be sure, then I pull out my phone and call her. My hands shake nervously as the phone rings, and rings, and rings, each ring pushing me closer and closer to the edge of insanity.

  Something had to have happened, there is no way she would just leave, that she would just walk away without talking to me first. Panic doesn’t even begin to describe the level I’m at as I pace the floor, dialing her phone over and over again.

  I leave a message, and then another, and another pleading with her to come home. My fear turns to anger, and the two mix together, my emotions becoming the catalyst to send me over the edge. What have I done? I thought everything was good. I thought she was happy. We bought a house together, and I was preparing to propose to her, wanting to make her forever mine and now this.

  Slamming down onto the couch, I hold my head in my hands and tug on the longer strands of hair, willing an answer to appear in my mind. It’s then that my phone starts to ring, the sound piercing through the hazy fog surrounding my mind. Scrabbling, I grab the device, my eyes scan the name on the screen.

  Lily. Sighing in relief, I press the green answer key.

  “Baby, are you okay? What’s going on?” I expect to hear Lily’s sweet voice, but instead, I hear another, one that turns the blood in my veins to ice.

  “Sebastian, I’m so glad I was able to reach you.”

  Laura? Why does Laura have Lily’s phone?

  “What’s going on? Why do you have Lily’s phone? Is everything all right?”

  Laura chuckles, but it’s not the soft laugh I’m used to hearing from her, no this laugh is humorless, dark. “You haven’t figured it out yet? I thought the dean would be smarter than that?” What the hell is she…

  Like a bucket of ice water raining down on me, I realize just what’s happening now. Laura is the blackmailer. Laura is the one who saw us together, the one who…

  “Put Lily on the phone, right now. This isn’t a game, Laura.” I try and hide the fear from my voice. I don’t want this bitch knowing how scared of losing Lily I am.

  “You’re right, it isn’t a game at all, and if you want to see your precious girlfriend alive, then you’ll do as I say. Otherwise, I won’t have a problem slitting her throat and watching her bleed out.”

  My tongue seems to swell at her confession, and I barely get out my next set of words without biting
it off. “What do you want?”

  I can practically see the smile on her lips, “Ten thousand dollars. Then I’ll let her go. Meet me at the abandoned offices near Riverside park at five, and we can do the exchange. If you call the cops or anyone follows you, I will know.”

  I don’t hesitate in answering her, “Okay, fine, just, please… please don’t hurt her.” My stomach knots, my insides twisting until there is nothing but a painful ache in the pit of my gut.

  “Oh, don’t you worry. As long as you bring me the money your bitch and that baby inside of her will be unharmed.”

  “Baby?” I gasp, giving my shock away.

  “Yes, baby. It seems like the stakes have gotten higher. Be here, or I kill them both.” Before I can say anything, the line goes dead. My heart sinks into my stomach, and a wave of nausea overtakes me. A baby. I’m having a baby. Lily is pregnant, and Laura has her in her clutches. Laura? How the fuck can it be her? I never considered the blackmailer to be her. I think back on how long I’ve known her; she has always been a friend, and so was her husband. Could he be involved in this too?

  For a second, all I can do is stand there and think of all the ways I’ve let Lily down.

  I have to save her and our baby, but how? I’ll give Laura every dime I have if it means keeping Lily safe, but how can I trust anything she says now? I’ve been so wrong about this woman that I thought was my friend, and if she is capable of blackmailing and kidnapping, then I don’t want to think about what else she might do. It feels like I’m going to pass out, everything coming at me all at once.

  No! I have to devise a plan, come up with a way to save her, to save our baby.

  * * *

  My hands are drenched in sweat, and I worry that the bag filled with cash is about to slip out of them. I grip onto the strap of the bag a little bit tighter as I walk into the abandoned office building Laura has sent me to.

  A million scenarios race through my mind, and most of them are not good ones. Most of them end with Lily getting hurt or worse. If anything happens to her, I will never forgive myself. I will never get over it. I know I will not survive this kind of loss again, not when I barely survived it the last time. I have to save Lily and our unborn baby.

  My heavy footfalls echo through the empty halls, and I strain my ears to hear anything else besides them, to hear any sign of Lily being here. A sign of her being okay. Please let her be okay. Please let this all work out. I called the cops right before arriving and told them to give me a ten-minute head start. Explaining the situation to them was terrifying.

  Grinding my teeth together, I continue walking down the hall until I hear what sounds like muffled crying. Instantly, my slow walk turns into a run, my eyes darting to the doorway of every room I pass.

  “I don’t know what he likes about you,” I hear Laura’s venom-filled voice ahead and stop when I reach the door. I find Laura staring a scared Lily down, her blonde hair sticks to her tear-soaked cheeks, a thick piece of duct tape over her lips. There’s a tiny cut above her right eye, and her hands are bound with what looks to be rope.

  “Aw, look who’s joined us?” Laura snickers and looks from Lily and up to me. A glint of metal catches in the light and dread consumes me. She takes the knife and tips Lily’s chin upward with the blade, forcing her to remain looking at her and nowhere else.

  “Here’s your money, give her to me, please,” I try and hide the fear pulsing through my veins, but it’s impossible.

  “You are so stupid, you know that? I’ve been hitting on you for years, scheduling our meetings so that we can be alone, and you never took the chance. Idiot. We would have been good together. I figured you just didn’t want any woman,” she giggles, “I thought you might be gay. But then I saw you with this skank… when you could have had me.”

  “So, this is all over you being jealous?” I probably shouldn’t taunt her, okay I definitely shouldn’t but I also need to keep her talking.

  “More like offended,” she quips. “I mean, come on, look at her. She has nothing on me.”

  She has everything on you.

  Laura twists the blade in her hand, digging it a little deeper into Lily’s skin. Not enough to draw blood, but enough to make Lily whimper. The sound pierces my heart like a hot dagger stabbing through the center. On instinct, I take a step toward her.

  “Don’t fucking move!” Laura growls.

  “It’s okay,” I assure her, lifting my hands up to show her my palms. I feel like I’m trying to calm down a bull that’s seconds away from charging.

  “Take another step, and the blade might slip,” she threatens, and my blood runs cold. She’s not giving me any sign of keeping her end of the deal by letting Lily go, so I do the only other thing I can think of.

  I decide to use her words against her, use her feelings for me against her.

  “You know if you had told me that you wanted to fuck things might be different now.”

  Immediately, Laura’s posture changes, it’s like she perked up as soon as I said the word fuck. “What do you mean?” she asks curiously, the anger in her face slowly receding.

  I shrug, “Of course, I thought you were attractive and don’t think that I haven’t thought about bending you over my desk a time or two,” I lie, unable to look at Lily as I try to concentrate on Laura only. Lying is hard, and it’s even harder when the words you’re speaking are daggers to the heart of the woman that you love.

  “Then, why didn’t you?” At her question, she drops the blade from Lily’s throat. That’s it. Come a little closer.

  “I didn’t think you were into me. You were married with kids. What was I supposed to think?” Laura’s face softens further, and it looks like she actually believes what I’m saying, “I guess I’m not good at picking up cues. You should have come out and said it or grabbed my dick or something like that, then there wouldn’t have been any confusion.”

  Her cheeks redden at my suggestion. “Maybe it’s not too late. Maybe we can still be together. Just you and me. You know we would be great. There would be no hiding our relationship.”

  Not a chance in the world.

  “You’re right. We still can. We can take the money and leave town… you and me,” I coax, and she takes another step closer, and my eyes dart to the knife that’s still in her hand. I need to get that knife, which means I need her to get just a little closer.

  “What about her?” Laura spits out and motions toward Lily, who is now shaking on the floor. I only briefly gaze at her, but when I do, I feel like the air deflates from my lungs. All I want to do is take her into my arms and tell her everything is okay, that I don’t mean a word that I’ve said but I can’t. Not until she’s safe, not until our baby is safe.

  “What about her? We can leave her here. By the time someone finds her, we’ll be long gone.” Conflict flickers in Laura’s eyes, and I know I’ve almost got her.

  Take the bait, bitch.

  “I don’t know.” Laura looks between Lily and me, once, twice, and then her gaze holds mine. “We should kill her. If you don’t have a witness, then there isn’t be a crime.”

  Lily starts to scream behind her duct tape, the sound is muffled, but I know without even looking at her that she’s losing it. She doesn’t know this is all an act, she doesn’t know the things I’ll do, the lengths I’ll go to, to save her.

  My heart aches, and a sour taste pricks my tongue at the words I speak next.

  “You’re right, but you shouldn’t be the one to do it. Give me the knife, and I’ll do it. I’m the one that caused all the problems.” I keep my voice even, not giving away any deception. Holding out my hand, I wait for Laura to make the next move. The air grows tense, and I worry that maybe she’s changing her mind. Fuck. No. “I need to do this, Laura. I need the closure. If I can’t do it myself, I won’t be able to completely give myself to you, not the way I want to, not the way I know you want me to.” The words sicken me, and it takes everything not to double over and vomit all over the floor
.

  Laura smiles triumphantly and takes another step forward. She raises her hand as if she’s about to give the knife to me. Only a few more inches and I’ll have it. Only a few inches between Lily’s safety, and…Laura freezes midstep. Every cell in my body tells me to grab the knife, to reach out and pluck the thing out of her hands. She’s right there, right in front of me. Her eyebrows draw together, confusion appearing seconds before anger as we both hear the police sirens echoing off in the distance. For a moment, no one moves, but when it’s clear that the sirens are coming closer, everything changes.

  Laura’s trust in me shatters, “You fucking prick, using my feelings, my fucking words against me. Now you can watch her die!”

  Everything seems to happen in slow motion. She turns and runs in Lily’s direction. A muffled scream pierces the air, and that’s all I need to hear to get my body moving with superhuman speed.

  Laura only makes it two steps before my chest bumps into her back. I wrap my arms around her body and pull her to my chest. The knife goes flying through the air with the collision, landing on the ground with a clang a few feet away from where Lily is sitting. Laura struggles in my grasp, kicking her feet, and tossing her head backward in an attempt to headbutt me.

  “You’ve ruined everything. We could’ve been happy together. We could’ve taken the money and ran.”

  “No, Laura, you ruined everything for yourself.” I grit out, squeezing her tighter while avoiding her head. I’ve never been more thankful for all the early morning workout sessions than I am now.

  Laura stops struggling and instead turns on the waterworks, “I’m sorry, Sebastian, just, please let me go. Let me go, and I’ll never bother you again. You know I have a family and a job. How will I care for them? My children will lose their mother. Sebastian, please, please…I can’t go to jail!” She’s doing her damnedest to break me down, but there isn’t a bone in my body that cares about her or her family. If anything, this is what her family needs. It’s obvious she’s suffering from some mental issues.