Find Me Alastar

by T L Swan

  “You are wrecking my fun. Please cease talking,” he mutters dryly as he begrudgingly walks past me.

  I slap him hard on the behind and he turns and raises his eyebrows in jest. “No,” I mouth as I point down the hall.

  “Stop nagging me, woman,” he mouths as he brushes past me.

  * * *

  Dinner was beautiful, as was the company. It’s about 10pm, and we are still sitting around the table drinking wine. Alastar’s parents are lovely and so obviously proud of their eldest son. The have had me in fits of laughter with stories of their township and the trouble that Alastar and Thomas used to get into when they were children. They have made me feel so welcome. I keep catching Alastar’s eyes lingering lovingly on my face. My mind goes to the restaurant when I was meeting Mark’s parents and how different this all feels compared to that. Even then I knew I wanted to meet Alastar’s parents in Ireland. It seems surreal that I am actually here… that he’s actually mine, and that he has told me he is in love with me.

  I never knew happiness like this existed. I’ve never felt anything like it before.

  I don’t care where we go or what we do, as long as Alastar is by my side, I am happy. He’s funny and intelligent. He’s dominate but gentle and caring, and I feel so, so loved. It’s hard to understand that this is even the same man who played me when we first met.

  I have met my soul mate. I found him and I can’t even fathom going home to Australia without him.

  “When do you go home to Australia?” his dad asks.

  I smile. His father is a handsome man, tall like Alastar, with the strongest accent I have ever heard. I have to really concentrate to decipher what he is saying. Nobody else has the turned eye, just Alastar. I smile. I love that slightly different eye now. I can’t imagine him any other way. It wouldn’t be him and I wouldn’t like it.

  “I’m not sure.” He smiles softly as he waits for my answer. “I have an open ticket.”

  His mother nods as she sips her wine. “Would you like to live in London or Australia?” she asks.

  I swallow nervously as my eyes flicker to Alastar again. “Six months in Australia and six months in Ireland would be perfect,” I reply softly.

  His father laughs out loud. “Aye, that’ll do. That’ll do nicely.”

  “Oh, I do love this girl,” his mother cries.

  Alastar smiles the sexiest damn smile I have ever seen before he picks up my hand and kisses the back of it. “She’s trying to win you over, Mother,” he mutters dryly.

  “She’s doing a damn good job of it,” his mother cries and we all laugh out loud. “If you can get my boy to return to Ireland, I shall worship the ground you walk on.” She laughs as she grabs my hand over the table and squeezes it.

  I love this family.

  * * *

  Hours later, it’s dark, and Alastar is standing next to me by the bed under the glow of the small lamps. His parents have gone to bed downstairs and Alastar and I in our bedroom. It’s late. We have been making out for a long time. He kisses me, all tongue, all dominance, and all freaking perfection.

  His hand grips my behind as he rubs me forward onto his hard body, up and down, up and down. His teeth stretch my bottom lip towards his.

  “Twinkle,” I breathe as my eyes close. I wasn’t kidding before. I really don’t want to have sex in his parents’ house.

  His mouth goes roughly to my neck and he bites me almost violently. The room is deafly silent and the sound of our breathing seems magnified. My head throws back in pleasure. “Alastar, your parents,” I whisper.

  “They love you,” he whispers against my breast.

  I smile to myself like an idiot. “Good, because I love them.”

  “I need you.”

  My hands drop to the back of his head as he devours my breast through my nightdress. He bites me hard and my body clenches in excitement. His hand drops, finding its way under my nightdress, and he sweeps his fingers underneath my panties. I try to pull away.

  “Alastar,” I whisper again. “Your parents.”

  “Yeah, they want me to fuck you,” he murmurs into my breast

  I giggle.

  “Hard.”

  I put my hand over my mouth to stifle my laugh. “Your mother did not tell you to fuck me hard,” I whisper.

  “Aye, she did. She’s a fucking sex maniac, too,” he whispers and I laugh out loud.

  His strong finger slides into my body and it clenches in excitement. He hisses in approval.

  “You smell so good. You need to be ridden hard, my love.”

  My eyes roll back in my head. God, here we go. If he starts talking dirty, it’s all over. He can fuck me on the end of his parents’ bed if he wants.

  He lifts one of my legs to sit up on the bed and adds another two fingers inside me, and then he starts to ride me. His lips take mine aggressively, and I can see his muscles in his shoulder flexing in the dimly lit room.

  I don’t know if it is the fact that I’m not supposed to be doing this, but my arousal just rocketed.

  It’s going to be a long night.

  * * *

  Anticipation fills me as we drive along the country road. Alastar has hired a vintage sports car for us. The top is down and he has told me he has a surprise for me. My hair is back in one of Alastar’s mother’s scarves. I am having trouble controlling the wind thing; my hair is whipping around like nobody’s business, and I hold on to my loaned scarf in a white-knuckle grip.

  I cannot lose this scarf.

  I cannot lose this bloody scarf.

  Alastar glances at me sideways as he drives, grinning as he puts his hand on my leg. His happiness is contagious and I feel like a woman from an exotic movie. Driving around the countryside of Ireland with a beautiful man in a sports car and a scarf. Gosh, if all the dreary people from back home could see me now. I am loving life. Please someone film this and put it up on social media somewhere.

  “Where are we going?” I ask for the tenth time today.

  “Nearly there.” Alastar smiles broadly. He’s loving this surprise thing, and quite frankly, so am I. Just when I think this man can’t impress me anymore, he goes and pulls a stunt like this. We finally drive around the bend and he pulls the car over. I frown. A huge sandstone building sits before us.

  “What is this?” I gasp.

  “It’s Ashford Castle.”

  My eyes widen as I look over the water. A castle—a frigging real life castle. “Can we go and look?” I grab Alastar’s hand. “Oh, please, can we go look?”

  He picks up my hand and kisses the back of it. “We can.”

  I bounce up and down in my seat in excitement. “Oh my God. Oh my God.”

  “We are staying here tonight.” He smirks.

  My eyes bulge. “What?” I shriek. “You can stay here?”

  Alastar laughs out loud. “You can and we are.”

  My mouth drops open and I grab him in an embrace. “This is my surprise? I love it.” My eyes fly back to the castle over the water. Never have I seen anything so beautiful.

  He laughs into my hair as I try to squeeze the life out of him while bouncing in my seat like a child. We continue up the road to two huge stone gatekeeper houses on either side of a gigantic stone gate. It leads over the water on a sort of moat kind of set up. My eyes stay glued to the castle in front of me. This is the most magical place I have ever been to and I am totally lost for words. We drive up to the parking area. Alastar parks the car and gets out while I stay seated in the car.

  I am in awe. I don’t even… I can’t describe how perfect this is. He comes around and opens the door for me, but I remain still, my eyes glued to the grand castle.

  “Come on, out you get.” He smiles.

  I inhale deeply. I love this fucking man. I jump out of the car and throw myself into his arms. “I love this surprise.”

  He smiles into my lips. “Aye, I can tell.”

  “And I love you.”

  He kisses me quickly. “Come.”<
br />
  I clap my hands together in excitement. “This is my best day of...” I hesitate as I try to articulate my words. “Forever,” I breathe.

  He smiles a proud of himself smile, removes our suitcases from the trunk, and we walk up the front steps as my eyes search the property in wonder. I stop on the bottom step and stare at the windows up above on the many stories. I follow the line along until I get to the fifth window from the end and I stop immediately. Goosebumps run down my arms and I get a vision of looking out the window to the pathway in front of us. I frown and look back to the road behind us.

  My face falls.

  “What’s wrong?” Alastar frowns as he watches my face.

  “Huh?” I am pulled from my thoughts. My imagination is getting the better of me.

  “Nothing.” I shake my head embarrassed.

  The doorman comes, retrieves our suitcases, and we head to the office.

  “Booking for O’shea.” Alastar smiles.

  “Yes, sir.” The receptionist starts to type on her computer.

  I stand silent, my heart racing, rocked by the vision I just had. I was definitely looking out from that window upstairs. It’s your imagination. It’s your imagination. It isn’t real. Stop it. I need to go and see someone about this when we get home. This isn’t right.

  “You okay?” Alastar smiles.

  I nod nervously. “Yes, perfect, this is just…” I hesitate. “Perfectly overwhelming.”

  He kisses me gently. “Yes.”

  I look at the kind receptionist and I smile as my equilibrium returns.

  “You are in the master suite—” She stands to show him the way.

  “I know where it is.” He cuts her off.

  “You have been here before?” She smiles.

  “Many times.” He smiles kindly.

  Huh? He’s been here before. Oh. That’s disappointing. I thought this was a special thing for just us.

  He catches my face fall and smiles politely to the receptionist before he heads off to the left. “This way, Emmaline,” he calls over his shoulder.

  I follow him silently as he takes the second set of stairs from the grand foyer.

  “What was that look for?” he asks.

  “What look?”

  “Your face fell when I said I had been here before.”

  I shake my head in embarrassment. Oh, boy. I’m acting like a spoilt brat. “Nothing.” I fake a smile. “How many times have you been here before?” I ask.

  He shrugs. “A lot. I come here often. This place is very special to me.”

  “Oh.” My heart drops. Not so special with me then.

  He stops and spins on the spot to watch my face for a moment. “What are you thinking?”

  I smile and kiss him gently on the lips. “Nothing.”

  He stands still, watching me intently. It’s so annoying that he can read me so well.

  I gesture to the grand hallway in front of us. “Are we going?”

  “Aye,” he replies, distracted as he continues walking. We get to another wide set of stairs that splits in two directions. Holy hell, this place is something else. Never have I seen such splendor. “This way,” he calls over his shoulder. We reach the top and walk down a long wide corridor. Finally, we get to a double door and he puts our bags down, takes out the key, and opens the door.

  “Wow,” I whisper. A large, I mean huge, exotic bedroom of red and gold sits before us. Everything is gilded and ornate. The ceiling is covered in hundreds of gold and red painted squares, and the bed linen is red matching the walls that are also red and gold. The carpet is the same red as the walls. This is the most beautiful, luxurious place I have ever seen.

  “Alastar,” I whisper. I put my hands over my mouth in shock.

  “Do you like it?” His eyes search mine.

  I nod. “I do.”

  He senses my trepidation. “But?”

  My heart drops. Damn him for reading me so well. “Have...” I hesitate, this is going to sound so lame. It does even to me because the answer shouldn’t matter. “How many women have you bought here before me?”

  He smiles down at me sympathetically and pushes my hair behind my shoulder. “Not a one.”

  “Not a one?” I repeat hopefully.

  He shakes his head. “This place is special to me and I have never had anyone special enough to bring here.”

  I smile softly.

  “Until you.”

  He bends and kisses me gently. This shouldn’t mean as much to me as it does. I already know that this place is special to me, too, and I couldn’t stand the thought that he had done this before with someone else.

  “Promise me you have never been here with anyone else before,” I whisper.

  He smiles broadly into my lips. “I, Alastar O’Shea, solemnly swear that I have never been here with anyone else other than my Emmaline.”

  I smile and wrap my hands around his wide, strong shoulders, and he embraces me tight. “Why would you think I would bring someone else here?”

  I shake my head as I pull out of his grip. “Because you’re… well you’re you and you are gorgeous. I know you were a player and this is the ultimate player’s hangout,” I blurt out before putting my brain to mouth filter on.

  He watches me intently. “I am not a player, Emmaline,” he replies emotionlessly. “I have never played anyone. Yes. I have been in casual sexual relationships before, but they all knew what it was and nothing more. I would never purposely hurt anyone.”

  My eyes search his. He hurt me. Is he even aware that he hurt me? He casually blows this off all the time and its finally getting to me.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” he whispers.

  “You hurt me, Ali. Do you even realise that you hurt me?” Fuck why am I bringing this shit up now. We are on a weekend away, for fuck’s sake?

  “I know I hurt you, Em.” He swallows. “I...” He hesitates as he thinks. “I wasn’t brave enough to love you back then.”

  I frown. “What does that even mean?”

  He shakes his head in defeat. “I will tell you one day.” He stays silent for a moment before adding. “I have never been in love before. I don’t know how these things are supposed to go.”

  I smile softly as my eyebrows rise by. “You have never been in love before?” Hope blooms in my chest once more.

  He shakes his head as if embarrassed and his eyes meet mine. “But I am hopelessly in love with you,” he whispers.

  I kiss him gently. “And I am hopelessly in love with you, Twinkle, and you are very good at this love thing.”

  He smiles broadly against my lips. “How good?”

  My tongue sweeps through his open mouth. “Exceptional.”

  He pulls back and smiles the most breathtaking smile. The emotion I feel for this man is overwhelming. How can you fall so deeply in love in such a short amount of time? It’s unheard of. He turns and puts our luggage up on the luggage holder and unzips it as he begins to unpack.

  “Why can’t we just leave the stuff in the suitcase?” I shrug with an eye roll as I walk around looking at my new surroundings. “Save packing it back up when we leave.”

  He looks at me as he refolds one of my shirts. “Please tell me you are joking.”

  I laugh out loud. “You have a serious organization problem, Alastar.”

  He smiles and shakes his head to himself as he continues to unpack my bag. “Aye, you may be onto something there.”

  * * *

  I sip my wine as I watch the perfect man across from me. We have just finished a beautiful dinner and are now moving on to dessert. The afternoon has been amazing. We have been exploring this beautiful castle and Alastar has been telling me its history. I’m fascinated, to say the least. Candles are spread throughout the restaurant and fresh flowers adorn the tables. The mood is sensual and romantic. A man is playing a grand piano and the beautiful sound is piping throughout the space. This is luxury dining at its best.

  “Tell me.” I hold my w
ine up to my lips. “How do you know so much about this place?” I slip my shoe off and rub my foot up his leg softly. I have to touch him at all costs.

  He smiles sexily into his wine glass. “History is my thing.”

  “Obviously.” I think for a moment. “What is it exactly about this place that you love?”

  He hesitates and shrugs. “It resonates with me somehow.”

  I look around at the opulent luxury surrounding us. “Me, too.” I frown. “It’s weird, isn’t it?”

  “How so?”

  “Some places make you feel...” I shrug.

  “Make you feel what?”

  “Like you know more about them than you should. As if they are ingrained into your subconscious somehow.”

  He smiles and takes my hand over the table. “Is that how you feel here?”

  I smile. “I do, it’s weird. I must have studied this place in history at school.”

  “Yes, we did at at our school. Even then it interested me.”

  “Hmm.” I smile broadly as a dreamy idea crosses my mind.

  Alastar’s smile mirrors mine. “What are you thinking, my love?”

  “I was just thinking that if I ever got married, I would like to get married here.”

  His eyes lock onto mine with an intensity that I haven’t seen before. “I would like that,” he whispers.

  I smile nervously. Oh jeez, why did I say that? It sounded so desperate.

  “Tomorrow,” he adds.

  I raise my eyebrows. “Huh? Tomorrow what?”

  “I would like to get married here tomorrow.”

  “H-huh?” I stammer. What the heck is he talking about?

  He leans over and takes my hand in his. “Marry me.”

  I frown in shock. Did I miss something here? “I beg your pardon…” I whisper.

  “I want you to marry me. Here. Tomorrow.”

  I sit still… in shock. What the hell? “Are you serious?” I breathe.

  “Deadly.” He picks up my hand and kisses the back of it. “I couldn’t be more in love with you than I am. Do you love me, Emmaline?”

  I nod, unable to speak because my brain is literally tripping out.