Where I Found You (Heart's Compass Book 1)

by Brooke O'Brien

  Loading up several bottles into her arms again, Kinsley turns back around facing me. The smug look on her face says it all.

  “Oh, and Ellie, after last night I’m expecting you to be there, too. It’s an end of the summer thing; we’ve been doing it for years. Before you think about blowing it off, just know that I’ve been asked to make sure you’ll be there.”

  Callum.

  Standing in the shower, I lean my head back and let the water beat down on my face and shoulders hoping to ease the stress of the day. So much has happened today and the fact that I got shit for sleep last night isn’t helping anything. I spent most of the night tossing and turning; it was like my mind was on repeat, thoughts of Ellie running through my head.

  Thinking about how she reacted when she saw me; the look of shock on her face as the blush spread across her cheeks. The subtle rise and fall of her chest as her body responded to mine said more than words ever could.

  I couldn’t shake the fact she had taken off last night, vanished without a single word.

  After we couldn’t find Ellie, I was pissed thinking maybe she took off with the douche bag from the bar. He was nowhere in sight, and I couldn’t fathom the thought of her being around that motherfucker. Kinsley kept reassuring me the bar just wasn’t Ellie’s scene. Calling up Kolton, I asked him to do a quick drive by her house.

  The fifteen minutes that followed felt like the longest of my life until his text came through confirming she was home. I ended up drinking another beer just to calm my nerves, and then I called it an early night.

  Worrying about Ellie wasn’t even the tip of the iceberg today. Randy got a phone call advising we lost one of our big contracts; one we had been counting on. I’m sure you can imagine why I am looking forward to the bonfire at Wes’s house tonight. I just want to chill by the fire with my friends and drink a couple of beers.

  I hope that Ellie shows up with Kinsley. I want another chance to see her, talk to her, and if I’m lucky, to have her wrapped in my arms once again.

  Turning off the water, I quickly grab the towel from the rack and dry myself off. After I throw on some clothes, I shove my wallet in my pocket just as my cell phone starts to ring. Not even bothering to check the caller ID, I hastily swipe the screen to answer it.

  “Reid.”

  “About time you learned to answer your phone.” If the words didn’t give me a clue, I would know who it was just by the cocky, pissed off tone in his voice.

  “I don’t have time for this right now, Mason. What the hell do you want?” He’s the last person I want to talk to after the day I’ve had.

  “You going to keep avoiding me forever? Doesn’t it get old after a while, running from all your problems?”

  I would tolerate it if I knew he was just giving me a hard time, but he’s not.

  “Just cut to the chase, what the hell do you want?” I yell, the anger rolling off me in waves as I clench my fist around my phone.

  “You know it’s been two years since you’ve talked to Dad. I’ve tried to stay out of your problems but the way you spoke to him when you were here was bullshit, man. It’s fucking disrespectful.”

  Are you kidding me? He wants to act like our father’s a saint when in fact he’s the farthest thing from it.

  “I’m not the one with problems. He is! He has a fucking problem with drinking too much and putting his hands on women, specifically our mother. Now THAT is disrespectful, Mason! The only thing I want to know is why you don’t see his behavior as being an issue?” I can feel my chest heave, struggling to breathe through the adrenaline coursing through me. I could use a couple of rounds with the punching bag right now.

  “Dude, he has paid the price for that. How long are you going to rake him over the coals and crucify him for it? Maybe if you had stopped acting like an asshole and listened to what he had to say when he tried talking to you, you’d feel differently.”

  “That’s what you’re not understanding, Mason. I don’t give a fuck what he has to say anymore, the same goes for you. I’m done with this conversation.”

  Ending the call, I start pacing the living room before taking a seat, elbows on my knees massaging my temples in an attempt to calm the anger running rampant through me. I did tell my father he was a piece of shit back when I was in Chicago, and I don’t feel bad about it.

  Not for a single second.

  Mason defending him just goes to show he doesn’t understand the depth of his issues I witnessed growing up.

  Once my heart rate is back to normal, I pick up my keys and do not waste any time heading over to Wes’s house. Stepping on the floorboard, I climb into my pick-up and turn up the music to drown out my thoughts. Pulling into Wes’s driveway a few minutes later, I’m not surprised to see the property lined with cars and people milling around. Wes has always had a summer wrap-up party; our friends would come out to grill, shoot off fireworks, and just have fun.

  Wes bought a couple of acres of his own after he graduated from college around the same time that he opened his Motorsports shop in town. He spends a lot of his time fixing up dirt bikes and ATVs and has made quite a name for himself in the motocross circuits.

  Wes’s tan brick house sits about a half mile from the road, overlooking Arbor Creek. The wooden porch wraps around the front of the house to the side patio where the bonfire is going on.

  Parking my truck, I saunter toward the front of the house, grabbing a beer and greeting several of my friends along the way. My eyes roam over the crowd in hopes of spotting Ellie, but she’s nowhere in sight. Kinsley promised she would try to convince her to come. I just hope she’s able to pull through for me.

  Taking a long swig of my beer, I feel a hard slap on my back, causing me to cough.

  “What’s up, bro?” I turn to see Brannon standing next to me looking proud with a shit-eating grin. The asshole knows what he did so I return the smack on his shoulder in greeting.

  “Not much, fucker.”

  Just like Wes, Kyle Brannon and I grew up in the same neighborhood. Even through my parents’ divorce, my mom remarrying, and us moving around, we still always kept in touch. Brannon knows everything that went down with my family, and he’s always been a damn good friend to me.

  We shoot the shit near the fire, the heat providing warmth from the cool night breeze. Relaxation starts to settle in as we talk about the work I’m putting into my dirt bike and the parts I just ordered.

  I can feel Ellie’s presence before I ever see her. The connection between us hits every one of my senses, as if my body is on high alert and can feel her near. I continue to nod along as Brannon tells me about the quad he is thinking about buying as I let my eyes search through the throng of people for her.

  When I finally spot her, it takes everything in me not to end the conversation with Brannon and rush to where she’s standing. The pull she has on me is irrefutable. My eyes follow her, taking in her cut off shorts and sweater down to those long bare legs as she makes her way over to Kinsley and Halle standing in a circle with their friends.

  Brannon senses the change in my focus as he looks over at me, tracking my eyes to where Ellie’s standing.

  “What’s goin’ on with you and that girl, bro?” That caught my attention.

  “Who, Ellie?” I say, cutting my eyes back to Brannon. “Nothin’, man, she’s just a friend of Kinsley’s.”

  “If that’s what you say,” he says, chuckling and shaking his head. “It didn’t look like it last night. I thought I’d have to pull you off Sahls after I saw the look in your eyes as you watched her talk to him.”

  Apparently, he doesn’t miss much. Just a friend of Kinsley’s, my ass.

  “Well, I’ll let you get to it,” Brannon says, nodding his head toward where Ellie is standing looking at me. Our eyes make contact as she flashes me a small smile, tucking a small piece of hair behind her ear. Taking her cue, I mutter to Brannon I’ll catch up with him later and wander over to Ellie.

  The sleeve of her swea
ter has fallen off her shoulder, leaving her smooth tan skin glowing from the light of the fire. Her right arm is wrapped around her stomach and her left is clutching a necklace. As soon as I approach her, Ellie looks up and immediately our eyes lock on each other as I flash her a small smile.

  Kinsley and Halle both greet me with a hug. I recognize one of the girls in the group, Kelly, and her eyes light up when she sees me.

  “Callum, it’s great to see you. You look great!” Kelly says with a mischievous smile on her face, opening her arms to me for a hug following Kins’s lead.

  Not wanting to be rude, I return the hug in greeting. Kelly is a sweet girl; we had a night together back in college, nothing serious. She was left stranded at a football game so I offered to give her a ride home where we ended the night with a kiss. The look on her face tells me she is looking for a repeat.

  “Hey, Kelly, it’s good to see you too!” Looking over the top of her head, my eyes find Ellie once again. Only this time she’s looking everywhere but at me, clearly uncomfortable.

  Clearing my throat, I back up from Kelly as I move to stand closer to Ellie.

  “How are you, Ellie?” I ask, running my thumb along the skin on her shoulder. I can’t help but want to reach out and touch her. “It’s great to see you.”

  “I’m good, thank you! It’s good to see you again, too.” The emotion I saw on her face is gone, the woman standing before me looking closed off as I’ve learned she will be when she’s upset. It doesn’t escape me that she doesn’t ask how I am as well.

  “I’m going to get some more,” Ellie says, holding her cup up just as she excuses herself. Kinsley encourages her to help herself, and Ellie turns on her heel, heading over to where the keg is located.

  “I’ll join you, I need another one myself,” I say, drinking down what is left in my cup. Picking up the pace, I fall into step with Ellie as she walks with purpose toward the patio on the side of the house. There is an urgency in her step, proving she is doing it to separate herself from me.

  “Hey there, sweetheart, where’s the fire? You alright?” I yell over the groups of people, jogging behind her to catch up.

  “I’m fine, Callum. Why wouldn’t I be?” The words come out sternly as she stops, turning and looking at me. The way she crosses her arms and the glare she throws my way confirm it’s me that’s the problem.

  There she is with that word again. Fine. She’s always fine.

  “I’m sure you’re fine. Hell, you do a fantastic job of making it clear just how capable you are of taking care of yourself. I can’t help but point out that you don’t sound very fine.”

  We are standing off to the side of Wes’s house, away from everyone. I’m grateful for that fact because I have no desire to draw attention to us.

  “Listen, I don’t need you to be my keeper. Contrary to what you may believe, I don’t need you to look after me constantly. Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to get my drink and enjoy the evening with my friends.”

  Holding my hands up, I take two steps back from her, putting a little distance between us.

  “I was just asking if you were alright after you stormed away from me. I was wrong. Clearly, you are fine. I’ll let you get back to it. Have a good night, Ellie.”

  I don’t hide my disappointment as I shoulder past her, walking toward the coolers. I barely make it three steps when her soft hand wraps around my forearm stopping me.

  “Callum, wait. I’m sorry.” The words flow out of her mouth in a rush.

  Turning my head, I look down at her hand wrapped around my arm.

  “Why?” I ask. The campfire casts a glow on her face and adds a spark to her eye, feeling like a punch in the chest.

  I can tell she doesn’t know how to respond. There is so much I want to know behind that question. Why is she sorry? Why does she push me away?

  “I shouldn’t have gotten upset with you, not like that. I’m not used to people caring about me or being friends with guys. Kinsley is the first friend I’ve had in a long time.”

  “Oh, so we’re friends now?” I jest. Rolling her eyes, she moves to pull her hand back when I clasp my hand over hers, using it to pull her closer as I turn so she’s standing in front of me.

  “I find it hard to believe that you didn’t have people who cared about you before you moved here. Don’t get me wrong; you work hard to be strong and keep people at a distance. What I can’t understand is why?”

  She takes a second to think about my words, using her other hand to clutch the pendant of her necklace. I’m starting to notice this is something she does when she’s nervous. I don’t know why but she seems like she holds herself back.

  “I moved in with my grandmother when I was going into high school. She was the only person I had. She took care of me until it became the time where she needed me to take care of her.”

  Running her tongue along her lower lip, she lets out a soft exhale, hesitating. I feel like my heart is in my throat just waiting for the words that come next. I desperately don’t want to upset her further, for her to push me away.

  “There is nothing lonelier than having everyone you’ve ever loved leave you. I’ve learned that people are going to go at some point; I can’t stop them. I’m not going to let anyone hurt me anymore.”

  I know how she feels to be disappointed by the people who are supposed to be there for you. I’m sure the question is evident on my face, but she doesn’t say anything more, giving little away. The sound of music playing in the background captures my attention as the song changes. At that moment, all I want to do is to wrap Ellie in my arms.

  “Dance with me,” I say. It’s a question but comes out as a statement. She seems to understand because she just nods her head. Grabbing her hand, I pull her closer to me so we are near the side of the house behind one of the trees. If I didn’t know better, I’d think she needs to feel this as much as I do as she leans in close, wrapping her arms around my waist and pressing her cheek over my heart.

  Angling my forehead down to where her neck and shoulder meet, I inhale her sweet floral scent. Swaying along to the music, I press her closer, relishing the feel of her body against mine.

  “I could spend the rest of the night with you just like this,” I whisper in her ear.

  Drawing my nose along her sun kissed skin, I place a soft kiss on her collarbone and again beneath her ear. My hands run along her lower back, beneath the thick sweater that is draped down toward her elbows.

  Her breathing starts to pick up, feeling the rise and fall of her chest pressed against mine. My heart beats rapidly as my thoughts have gotten away from me, thinking about what it would feel like to have her in my arms for one night.

  Taking a deep lungful of breath, I lift my head from her shoulder and use my hand to tilt her chin up until her eyes meet mine. I want to see her see my face, to believe my words, when she hears what I say.

  “You’re beautiful, Ellie. I’m a lucky man to have you here in my arms. I have thought of you several times since that day at the bus station, about the way you felt pressed against me and what it would be like to kiss those lips. I wonder if they’re as soft as they look.”

  Her gaze drifts between my eyes to my mouth. I see a look of desire on her face as she lifts her head up to me and runs her palm over my chest. If I’m not mistaken, I think she wants it, too.

  “Is that what you want, baby? You want me to kiss you?”

  The subtle nod of her head has me growing hard in my pants.

  With my hand still pressed beneath her chin, I use my thumb to trace the line of her jaw down along the curve of her mouth. Letting out a slow exhale, she wraps her hand around my wrist and whispers, “Kiss me.”

  I leave her no time to second guess or over think this moment. Once her lips connect with mine, I know I’m fucked. The strangled moan she unleashes from somewhere deep confirms it, just before she opens up to me.

  Adrenaline courses through me as all my blood runs south to my cock, pressed firmly ag
ainst her stomach. I know she feels it, too, as she rocks against me as if seeking her own release. I’m consumed by Ellie.

  Breaking through my thoughts and the euphoria of the moment, I look down at her as she works to regain her breath. Her eyes are glossed over with desire, and her lips are stained red from being thoroughly worked over. She looks sated and happy. I could live the rest of my days putting that look on her face and be a happy fucking man.

  That thought should scare me, but for some reason, it doesn’t. Instead, without thinking I say, “Go out with me.”

  She smiles softly as she looks back up at me, then back down at my lips as she nods her head and whispers, “Okay.”

  The quiet sound of the bedroom door clicking shut causes me to jolt awake. I know he is here before I even open my eyes by the sound of his harsh breathing. I always sleep on my side, facing the door, for fear that once the quiet stillness of the night approaches he will come into my room. My hands start to tremble as my heart pounds out of my chest.

  The front porch light is on, casting a muted glow through the window. Sliding my hands between my thighs, I will myself to stay silent as my eyes adjust to the darkness. My body struggles not to shake for fear of what’s to come.

  He stumbles toward me, sliding the covers over and moves to sit next to me.

  “My beautiful, sweet girl,” he rasps, lifting the blanket draped over my legs. My body jolts when I feel his hand run up my leg toward my boxer shorts.

  I squeeze my eyes shut as I struggle to hold in the tears filling my eyes but it’s no use. Choking on a sob, I succumb to what is coming. I want to scream and fight him off, but even drunk, I’m no match for his strength.

  “Shh, don’t cry. I promise I won’t hurt you. I just want to make you feel good.”

  Keeping my eyes closed, I push down the bile that rises in my throat as I cover my mouth. I don’t know how much time passes, but it feels like it drags on for hours. I don’t open my eyes as I silently tell myself over and over it’s only a dream.