Punishing Their Virgin (A BDSM Reverse Harem Romance Book 1)

by J. L. Beck

  Her words were like a slap to the fucking face. I pulled away from her as if she had burnt me and she had, my heart was aching, my body threatening to explode with rage.

  My nails dug into my palm as I shoved from the bench, rage that burned as hot as the sun raced through my veins. She was everything to me and losing her wasn’t something I could ever imagine. It just wasn’t.

  “Don’t pretend that you don’t love me Brooke. Don’t even fucking try and lie to me because I know you too well. I know this is all a fucking ploy. Our parents will learn to get over whatever it is that they hate about us being together. Don’t let them take this from us Brooke.” I was pleading, giving her my last ounce of compassion. I wouldn’t give up on Brooke no matter what she said but after the last week of her being gone without even an answer or text message, I needed to distance myself. I needed to cool off before I approached her again because clearly she wasn’t ready to talk to me.

  “Don’t come back here again Zane or I will contact campus security.” The words she spoke echoed through me. My jaw clenched tightly together, my teeth grinding against each other. I bit my tongue watching her get up and walk away in the direction of her dorm room.

  “I love you Brooke…” I jogged across the short space that separated us reaching for her hand. My tight grip stopped her dead in her tracks. A pained expression crossed her features and I released her immediately. I would never hurt her, never, at least not intentionally.

  “It’s not enough Zane,” she snapped, her eyes going down to my hands that now rested at my sides. My heart was beating impossibly hard against my rib cage. It wasn’t enough? How? How wasn’t it enough?

  “What do you mean? I love you Brooke. I want this to work between us. I don’t care about our parents. I don’t care about what anyone else has to say… Why do you care so much?” I threw my hands in the air in frustration earning Brooke and me a few looks from people passing by.

  Brooke leaned into my face, her floral scent slamming into my gut. “I care because my education matters to me Zane. I care because I know when, not if they find out, everything we ever worked for will be ripped away from us.” I tried to reason with myself in that moment. I tried to tell myself that her feelings were real and the fears she had meant something to her, but all I felt was betrayal.

  It hit me then that there was no winning her back and that hurt. It hurt more than anything I had ever felt before.

  “You know what Brooke, you’re right. There’s no point… None at all…” I took a step away from her and then another, watching as her face fell and the wall she had put up between us crumbled to the ground.

  “Zane…” she called out to me but I was too far gone to care. I couldn’t stick around when she didn’t want me. I wouldn’t be that puppy that was kicked time and time again but still came back because he wanted to be loved more than anything.

  Brooke didn’t want me. She couldn’t face our parents head-on for whatever reason and that hurt me. It broke me.

  I walked back to the house that we had shared, the house that was now empty of memories and love. It was just me now.

  Tears filled my eyes but refused to fall. I would put my all into pleasing my father and hopefully that would keep my mind off of Brooke.

  It would have to. Because not having her when she was the only thing I ever wanted was going to kill me.

  It already was.

  Chapter Seven

  Brooke

  Three Weeks Later

  I stared down at the white stick, wondering what I would do with the answer it gave me. Time ticked away, the seconds seeming to take forever to pass. My period was over a month late. How I had gone without realizing it, I don’t know.

  A knot of anxiety formed in the pit of my stomach. After the way that I had treated Zane, I wasn’t even sure he would answer my phone call when I called him. Hell maybe he had moved on by now?

  My eyes drifted from my reflection in the mirror and down to the pregnancy test sitting on the bathroom vanity. The words pregnant blinked back at me. My knees went weak wobbling with the results of the test. My back landed against the wall behind me, the only support keeping me up right.

  “Oh God no…” My voice was barely audible. The air refused to enter my lungs, causing them to tighten with stale oxygen. I didn’t know what I was going to say to Zane or even if I was going to get the chance to. I hadn’t talked to him in three weeks, not since I told him we couldn’t be together anymore.

  It took everything in me to let him walk away that day. The image of his father’s face was burned in my mind reminding me of why I had to let him go but now, with this there was no hiding it. I couldn’t hide being pregnant from our parents.

  “It was all for nothing…” The words bounced off the walls of the bathroom filtering into my head. I had done it all for nothing. I had pushed him away and said things I could never take back and now I was the one that would have to go begging for his forgiveness, all because I thought I was doing the right thing.

  Tears slipped from my eyes and down my cheeks. I stared at the woman in the mirror wondering how I had gotten here. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was protecting both Zane and me when I was really just hurting us.

  I squeezed my eyes shut, my nails digging into my palm painfully. I wanted to be numb of all the different emotions I was currently feeling but I knew I couldn’t be. There was a baby growing inside of me- mine and Zane’s baby.

  I flicked away the tears feeling weaker than I ever had before. The sound of my cell phone ringing in the bedroom down the hall met my ears. I walked slowly to the bedroom plucking the device up off the nightstand.

  My mother’s name flashed across the screen and I sighed far louder than probably should be allowed.

  “Yes mother?” I squeaked, answering the phone with a slide of my finger.

  “Goodness gracious Brooke. What took you so long?” My teeth ground together. Not only did I have to give up Zane for my mother in order to keep my education, but I also had to answer her phone calls as soon as she called.

  “I was in the bathroom and my phone was in the other room charging.” I tried to sound like I wasn’t irritated but I was. The surprise pregnancy, coupled with everything going on with Zane, and then his father threatening me made it nearly impossible for me to stay on the phone.

  “Oh well next time try and get to the phone sooner. When you answer on the last ring it makes me feel as if I’m unimportant…” Her voice trailed off in my mind as I made note of the fact that she hated when I answered on the last ring.

  “We’re having dinner tonight at Sax’s Steakhouse for Zane’s birthday… I wanted to remind you in case you decided to skip out…” When she said Zane’s name my ears perked up and my eyes opened wider.

  Oh shit. It was Zane’s Birthday.

  “Of course…” I paused. “I couldn’t ever forget my stepbrother’s birthday. I’ll be there, what time again?” I acted as if she had said something to me before, when in reality she hadn’t. I would’ve remembered had she said something about Zane.

  “Perfect sweetie. I want you looking your best. Zane’s bringing his new girlfriend tonight and first impressions as you know are the most important.” Black spots formed before my eyes and my body swayed. I grabbed onto the leather sofa trying to right myself.

  His new girlfriend.

  I couldn’t even form words, my mouth going dry. He had moved on already? How had he moved on so fast? I was flabbergasted and completely taken back by my mother’s words that I failed to notice she was still talking.

  “Did you hear me Brooklynn?” My mother’s impatient tone vibrated in my ear. I licked my dry lips, trying to stifle back the emotions that would most definitely fill my voice.

  “Yes I did.” My voice cracked and with it, so did my heart.

  “Good I will see you tonight at seven.” She hung up seconds later. There was no love you, or how are you doing? I pulled the phone away from my ear. The tea
rs that had been threatening to fall came cascading down my cheeks. I sucked in a breath and then another but it didn’t feel like I was breathing. It felt like I was suffocating, just barely getting enough oxygen into my bloodstream to survive.

  “He’s… he’s found someone else…” I said the words out loud, thinking maybe if I said them they would have less of an effect on me but they didn’t. They made it all that more real.

  I moved, slamming down onto the leather couch, my hands grabbing for a nearby pillow. I could make it through this. I just needed to get out of my head. I needed to let the pain go. If he had moved on, then he had. It just meant that me telling him about the baby wouldn’t change anything between us.

  And maybe that was the knife to my heart, the one thing that sent me over the edge. The fact that if he had found someone new that I would be nothing but old news and the baby that grew inside of me, while maybe he or she wouldn’t matter to Zane, then maybe neither would I.

  With each tear that fell a piece of my heart flaked away, never to return again. Every second without Zane was a death sentence and now I knew there was never going to be a happy ever after for us.

  ***

  Somehow I had managed to clean myself up. My mother’s disapproving look followed me at every turn while I tried on three different dresses. Every single one was snug in the middle, the place that I was now growing outward.

  I looked at my phone watching the clock, knowing if I didn’t leave the house now I wouldn’t make it to dinner on time. I went with the flowery summer dress, knowing that it was the least likely to show my pudge. I blinked away the tears and pushed the emotions that threatened to swarm me down as I drove to Sax’s. I arrived with ten minutes to spare. It was downtown so parking was a bitch, though I managed to find some at a nearby parking garage.

  I had just started walking in the direction of the restaurant when my phone buzzed in my purse. I pulled it out frantically hoping that it wasn’t my mother but knowing it couldn’t be anyone else. Zane wouldn’t be texting me. Would he?

  I swiped a finger across the screen, Zane’s name appearing with a text message attached to it that said: You coming tonight? Three words. After all this time he said three words to me.

  I bit the inside of my cheek, just grateful that he had time to remember me now that he had a new girlfriend. I waltzed into the five star steak restaurant and was greeted with a mirage of scents. My stomach churned and my lunch threatened to come up onto the marble floor I was standing on.

  “I’m with the Masters party,” I announced, greeting the hostess with a smile. Her eyes dropped down to the list in front of her before coming back up to me.

  “Right this way.” She gave me a once over look and headed in the direction of the table. The air in my chest stilled as I took notice of everyone who was at the table. My mother, Gerald, Zane, and a brunette bombshell that I could only assume to be Zane’s new girlfriend.

  The hostess led me to the table and then skipped away. She had no idea she had lead me into the pits of hell.

  “Brooke….” Zane said my name like he had been dying to say it for days. He shoved away from the table, a look of fear coupled with pain lingered in his green-blue eyes.

  “Zane.” I tipped my chin at him acknowledging his presence but refusing to go to him. A look of pure disapproval formed on his features as I took the only open seat next to my mother.

  “It’s so nice of you to make it Brooke, is there a reason you’re late?” My mother’s voice was anything but nice.

  “The traffic was horrible and parking was even worse.” I sighed, knowing this was going to be the dinner from hell. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure why I had agreed to come in the first place.

  “You should’ve left earlier then. This is what your mother and I mean when we say you need to take better responsibility for your actions Brooke.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at Gerald. You would’ve thought I killed someone’s dog the way they were looking at me.

  I shifted my attention to the brunette that was sitting directly next to me, her perfectly manicured fingernails tapping against the tablecloth. They were painted a striking red color, the same color she had painted on her lips.

  Figures he would go for a brunette after having a blonde.

  Was it bad that I could feel my lip rising in a snarl as I eyed her further. She was skinny with a huge pair of tits, though they were probably as fake as her personality.

  “Brooke I want you to meet Zane’s new girlfriend, Sarah…” My mother smiled extending her hand to Sarah in a gesture that said welcome to the family. I blinked slowly, trying to hold in the rage that was threatening to bubble over and out of me.

  “We aren’t dating…” Zane’s voice was deep and commanding. I lifted my eyes to his and looked at him, really looked at him for the first time in a long time.

  “Oh but you will be very soon, my son.” Gerald slapped a hand against Zane’s back and it all clicked into place then. Gerald hadn’t wanted Zane and me together for numerous reasons but the biggest one being that he wanted to decide whom his son was going to marry and be with.

  That and my mother would never approve of our relationship because to the public we would be deemed a social outcast.

  “We aren’t dating Dad. Nor will we ever be.” Zane shrugged his father’s hand off his shoulder. I had a choice to make. I needed to tell Zane that I was pregnant without being alone with him because if I got alone with him I would break down and I couldn’t handle that right now.

  Therefore I would have to announce it to everyone at the table here. My mother was already eyeing me with disapproval, hell she had been since the day I was born. Maybe Zane had been right, maybe I didn’t need to worry about their approval. Still they held all the power because they had all the money.

  Either way I couldn’t continue to live this way. Gerald had put so much pressure on me. He wanted me to do what he deemed right when all I wanted was a life with his son. Zane and I had each other before our parents met and decided to marry, so why couldn’t we be happy?

  “You’ll make a perfect member of the family Sarah. I promise you that.” My mother was smiling and being sweet, and Sarah was eating that shit right up like she couldn’t see the devil in the details.

  I decided then that I was done dealing with this shit. I didn’t have to state who the father was but I’m sure Gerald would figure it out and spill the beans to my mother who would in turn call me later.

  “I’m pregnant,” I blurted it out and the entire table went silent. My eyes landed on Zane’s first. Excitement and then shock reflected back at me. I slid my eyes over to Gerald’s and then my mother’s. Anger, disapproval, and shock were marring their features.

  “What?” My mother’s tone had turned cold.

  “I’m pregnant,” I said it again, this time putting more into it. I didn’t care if they thought the worst of me. The one thing I would never let them do is treat my child like garbage.

  “You’re an absolute disgrace.” My mother threw her napkin down on the table, shoving away from it and heading in the direction of what I assumed to be the bathroom. A smile pulled at my lips as I stared at Gerald.

  “Do you have anything to say?” I tipped my head sideways at him trying to examine his stone cold features.

  “You’ll regret this Brooke.” He sounded so full of himself and maybe he was. Maybe he would make me pay for saying something out loud but if he was half the man he claimed to be, he would’ve let things between Zane and me remain. He wouldn’t have threatened me like he did.

  “Brooke…” Zane said my name like a warning… My eyes lifted to his for a millisecond before I too got up and made my way to the front door. Zane was hot on my heels though, his hand wrapping around my upper arm tight enough to stop me.

  “Hey, you don’t get to say something like that and just walk away…” Confusion laced his features as he pushed me against the brick exterior of the building. I had nothing to say to him, even if I fe
lt deep down in my chest like I did.

  “I have nothing to say to you…” I dipped my head low, trying to pull myself from his grip and get around him. I never expected him to grip me by the chin and force my eyes to meet his.

  “Well I have a lot to fucking say to you, so please stay put for the next ten minutes and listen to me very carefully.” I bit my bottom lip, willing the tears away. I wouldn’t break down in front of Zane. Not when he had his new supermodel girlfriend sitting just inside the restaurant.

  “Zane…” His name fell from my lips in a moan.

  “I’ve missed you so fucking much Brooke. Every night when I go to sleep I think about you. I wonder if you’re okay, and if you’re thinking about me….” His lips pressed against my earlobe.

  “I’ve struggled with staying away but have done so because you told me too. It hurt me more than anything Brooke. It was like ripping my fucking heart out and throwing it on the ground, but I did it…” I could feel my fingers sinking into the chiseled muscles of his abs and chest.

  “And for what? I still don’t have a reason other than the thought of our parents finding out and being bigger assholes than they already are….” I was weak, so fucking weak. His lips pressed against my throbbing pulse making it jump in my throat. “I’ve thought of all the ways I would kiss you and explore you when I saw you again. How I would take you over my knee and spank you for hurting me so badly. How I would make you beg for your release when my cock splits you open again. I’ve thought about it all…” His voice trailed off and I knew I had to stop him before he said something that would truly send me running back into his arms.

  “It’s not yours Zane,” I lied, knowing that would get him to stop, and it did. He pulled away from he within seconds my body going cold with the loss of his touch.

  “Are you kidding me Brooke?” he spat, disgust riddling his features.