Her Hopes and Dreams (Ardent Springs Book 4)

by Terri Osburn

  Except she was dying to see him.

  Hours passed until, just before sunset, silence replaced the engine noise. Carrie peeked through the window, which she’d done several times throughout the day, and finally saw Noah trudge back to his house. With the hope that he’d come knocking, she put Molly to bed fifteen minutes earlier than usual. The child drifted off to sleep as the sun gave way to darkness, leaving her mother free for another evening chat on the porch.

  Only a knock never came.

  He’d likely wanted to shower after working in the barn all day, but that shouldn’t have taken this long. In case he was waiting for a sign, Carrie switched on the porch light and stepped outside, staring at the farmhouse as if she could telepathically lure him to her. The only light in the house came from an upstairs window. Maybe he was waiting for her to call, which seemed silly when they were so close, but then men got silly ideas all the time, so Carrie hurried inside for her phone. Back on the porch, she hit Send on the call and watched the window. A shadow danced across the blind a second before the call went to voice mail.

  As she lowered the phone from her ear, the light went out, and Carrie’s heart dropped. Why didn’t he pick up? Why didn’t he come over to see her?

  What had she done wrong?

  Carrie walked back in the house, turned off the porch light, and locked the door. There would be no visitors tonight. Or any night, apparently. Dragging a blanket off the back of the couch, she lay down and reached for the remote. Wilson stretched, then hopped from the coffee table to the couch and curled up on her hip. Eighteen pounds of purring feline was oddly comforting in her current condition.

  As she stroked behind the cat’s ears, she found an old black-and-white movie that she hadn’t seen in forever, but Carrie didn’t make it past the first act. Lack of sleep from the night before, and countless nights before that, caught up to her. Somewhere in the middle of the first dance number, she floated off to sleep. Around midnight, she woke to find an infomercial on the television and Wilson snoring on the back of the couch.

  Feeling lonelier than she had in a long time, Carrie performed her nightly tasks like a robot. When she reached for the under-eye cream, a depressing thought popped to mind. Why was she bothering? Why did she go through this ritual of moisturizers and beauty creams when she was destined to die an old maid, surrounded by cats and empty TV dinner boxes?

  “You’re pathetic,” she said to her reflection, stopping the pity party right there. “Noah is not the last man on earth, and you are not going to die alone.” Dabbing the clear cream under each eye, she created an invisible barrier against future wrinkles, and said, “We will die in the party wing of whatever nursing home Lorelei reserves for us, but when that day comes, Noah Winchester will be nothing more than the fleeting memory of a man who missed his chance.”

  Pep talk complete, Carrie switched off the bathroom light with an extra swing in her step. If she’d been willing to take a chance on Noah, there was no reason she couldn’t take a chance with someone else. Their little session on the glider had reminded her what she was missing, and though Carrie had no intention of humiliating herself on one of those dating sites—something Lorelei had suggested more than once—her man boycott ended now.

  “Boss!” yelled Jordan Ethridge, waving his arms in the air.

  Noah removed his earplugs. He’d warned all the guys on his crew that if they wanted his attention, they’d have to get in his line of sight, but whatever they did, they were never to touch him.

  “What is it?” he asked.

  “Are you the person in charge here?” snapped the well-dressed older woman standing next to Jordan.

  Without answering, Noah said, “Who are you?”

  “I’m Meredith Mitchner, and I’m the chairwoman of the Safe Haven Women’s Shelter board. I want to know what’s going on here.”

  As if it wasn’t obvious, he said, “We’re renovating this old camp to serve as your shelter.”

  “Amusing, young man.” She didn’t look amused at all. “We have a December first open date. It’s already October. More should be done by now.”

  “We started the job last week,” Noah informed her. “We’re working as fast as we can, but we won’t cut corners or jeopardize our own safety to hit your deadline.”

  Bristling, she said, “I don’t appreciate your tone.”

  He didn’t give a shit what she appreciated. “And I don’t like you showing up on my job site uninvited.”

  “You listen to me, young man—”

  “I’m not your young man. If you have a problem with our work, take it up with Mike Lowry.” Noah pushed the earplugs back into place. “We’ve got work to do.”

  Noah stepped up to the table saw to cut another two-by-four. Halfway through the wood, his saw shut off. Looking around, he found the intruder holding the plug, one thin eyebrow floating near her hairline.

  “What’s your problem?” he said, dragging the plugs out of his ears again. “Do you want this job done or not?”

  “I want a tour, and I want to know what you’ve done so far.”

  “I don’t have time to give tours.”

  “Make time,” she ordered.

  The hell he would. Noah pulled the cell out of his pocket and dialed Mike’s number. The call went to voice mail. He tried again. Straight to the mailbox. He had no choice but to call the last person he wanted to talk to.

  “Lowry Construction,” Carrie said.

  “There’s some old woman over here telling me she wants a tour,” Noah snarled. “You need to get her out of my way.”

  “What do you mean an old woman is there?”

  Noah pulled the phone from his ear. “What did you say your name is?”

  “Meredith Mitchner,” she enunciated, as if she were talking to an idiot.

  “You hear that?” he said into the phone.

  “Oh sweet Jesus,” Carrie replied. “I’ll be there as quick as I can.”

  Tucking the phone back into place, he said, “Find a seat outside. Your tour guide will be here in ten minutes.”

  “What is your name?” she demanded. “I want to make sure Mr. Lowry fires the correct person.”

  “If Lowry cows to your uppity ass, then I don’t want to work for him anyway.” Not that Noah could afford to quit, but this would solve the problem of having to deal with Carrie to get his paycheck, which he’d been told to pick up that afternoon.

  Avoiding her had been a bitch. During the day, it wasn’t so bad since she hadn’t paid any visits to the job site. But in the evenings, he had to time his trips to the barn so as not to catch her outside. Deciding he wasn’t any good for her was one thing. Being outright rude was another. The weather this week had been more like summer than fall, and mother and daughter had taken advantage of the minor heat wave to spend at least an hour outside each evening.

  A couple nights, he would have sworn that she’d stayed out longer on purpose, but then he hadn’t lived next to them long enough to know if these nightly playtimes were unusual or not. She hadn’t called him since Sunday night when he’d ignored her. Hadn’t stopped by or even left a note on his door. Good to know she wasn’t losing any sleep over his sudden change of heart.

  Noah snatched the cord from the old woman’s hand and plugged his saw back in. Before returning to his task, he shot her a warning look that said, Don’t even think about pulling that stunt again. His adversary marched out of the room, her head high and her ass sashaying all the way. Talk about a ballbuster.

  He’d cut five more boards before Jordan waved him down again. “What now?” he growled.

  “Carrie asked me to come get you,” the young man replied, looking hopeful that Noah wouldn’t kill the messenger.

  “Where is she?” he asked.

  “Down in the center office looking at the plans. That Meredith woman is with her, and she’s got questions.”

  “She can shove her questions up her ass,” he mumbled, but Noah stomped down to the office all the sam
e.

  “I’m trying to renovate a camp here,” he said to the pair he found hunched over the floor plans. “What’s your damn question?”

  The women met his eye at the same time, but Noah only saw Carrie. The baby-blue top brought out her eyes, and her hair all tucked up on the back of her head like that made him want to trail kisses down her neck. He hadn’t expected to have such a powerful reaction to seeing her. His body tightened with need, forcing him to hold his hard hat over his zipper.

  “I’ve assured Meredith that the project will be done by the deadline,” Carrie said, avoiding his eyes, “and that our open date will not be delayed, but she’s concerned about the pace of the renovations. Could you let her know where we are in the schedule so she feels better about the situation?”

  Noah couldn’t recite the alphabet, let alone discuss a construction schedule. Not when the blood was rushing from his brain.

  “We’ll be done,” he said. “Interruptions like this don’t help.” Great. Now she’d turned him into a freaking caveman. Stepping closer to the makeshift desk, he pointed to the right side of the layout. “We’re framing in this addition right now.” His finger moved to a row of large interior rooms. “Brandon and Jordan are ripping up the floors in these rooms and will start framing out the new bathrooms next week.”

  “See?” Carrie said. “The shelter is in good hands. Nothing to worry about.”

  Meredith didn’t look convinced. “What about the addition on the other side?” she asked.

  “We’ll get there,” Noah answered. “There shouldn’t be any problems if this weather holds out.”

  “Are you saying that the opening of this shelter is dependent upon the weather?”

  “Every construction project is at the mercy of Mother Nature,” Carrie said. “There’s no way around that. But once these additions reach a certain point, the weather becomes less of a factor.”

  The pissy one looked to him for confirmation. “She’s right,” he said. “Now if you’ll excuse me.”

  “Thank you, Noah,” Carrie said. “We appreciate you taking the time to talk to us.”

  “I still plan to discuss your behavior with Mr. Lowry,” Meredith drawled. Good for her.

  Noah deprived the woman of a response, but made the mistake of locking eyes with Carrie. The truth hit like a punch. She missed him as much as he missed her.

  Dammit.

  “I’ve got to go,” he said, slamming the hard hat back on his head as he strode from the room.

  Chapter 10

  “In what prison did Lowry find that man?” Meredith asked.

  “Noah wasn’t in prison,” she said, biting off each word. “He was serving our country in the Middle East. I realize he’s a bit gruff, but he’s a good man.”

  “He’s rude and obnoxious.”

  Pot, meet kettle, Carrie thought.

  “He’s keeping this project moving. The men respect him and have pushed themselves under his leadership. Mike is happy with his results, and so long as the shelter opens on time, we have nothing to complain about.”

  Meredith hugged her clutch purse to her side. “That young man cursed at me when all I asked for was a tour of the facility.”

  Knowing the other woman as she did, Carrie said, “Did you ask for a tour, or did you demand one?”

  Coral lips flattened. “Perhaps you’ve spent too much time with this Noah person. I don’t like your tone.”

  Don’t roll your eyes. Don’t roll your eyes.

  “I’m the construction liaison,” Carrie reminded her. “It’s my job to make sure this renovation is completed on time and to our satisfaction. It’s your job to make sure we have the funding in place to operate once the construction is finished. Have I demanded to know what you’re doing to ensure that happens?”

  “Point made, Ms. Farmer. But the rest of the board has every right to know where we stand.”

  “And I submit regular updates to the board, as previously discussed.”

  Carrie maintained her courage in the face of Meredith’s evil glare, but it wasn’t easy. Haleigh Rae had shared a list of tactics for dealing with her mother when they’d first started this endeavor. Stand your ground. Don’t bluff. Do your homework. And never let her see you cry. Lion tamers had it easier than this.

  “We need to know immediately if there are any delays.”

  “Of course,” Carrie replied.

  Shoulders stiff, Meredith said, “Then I suppose we’re finished here.”

  “Yes, we are.”

  Halfway to the door, the older woman turned. “Aren’t you coming?”

  “I have one more thing to do before I go,” she said.

  Meredith nodded a curt good-bye, leaving Carrie alone in the dusty office. One battle down. One battle to go.

  Paychecks in hand, she located the rest of the crew first, saving Noah for last. She’d run through every emotion, from heartbreak and pity to hostility and anger, all in the course of five days, and she’d be damned if she would miss this chance. Noah owed her an explanation. He didn’t have to like her. He never had to talk to her again. But today, he would man up and confess what had changed between Saturday night and Sunday afternoon.

  When she found him at the saw bench in the addition, he’d just shut down the machine and was wiping the sweat from his brow. His unruly waves had been secured at the back of his neck, and sawdust dotted his beard.

  “Hi,” she said from the doorway, careful not to startle him.

  Noah looked up, clearly surprised to see her. “Hey.”

  She crossed the space between them. “I brought your paycheck.”

  “I thought I had to pick it up at the office,” he said, wiping dust from the side of the bench. As if the rest of the room weren’t covered in the stuff.

  “That’s how it normally works, but since I had to come to your rescue, I decided to bring them with me.”

  He shoved the envelope in his back pocket. “I didn’t need rescuing.”

  “Of course not,” she agreed, willing to spare his pride. For now. “Are you breaking for lunch?”

  “Yep.” Still no eye contact.

  “Mind if I join you?”

  That caught his attention. “I have a bag lunch. There isn’t anything to join.”

  Carrie shrugged, keeping her tone light. “I could sit with you for a while.”

  “I don’t think—”

  “Or do you have some sort of communicable disease that I might catch?” she asked, moving closer. “Is that why you stopped coming over? Why you went from ‘Give me a chance’ to pretending I don’t exist? Because if there’s nothing wrong with you, then there must be something wrong with me. So which is it, Noah? What am I missing?”

  A muscle ticked in his jaw. “Last Saturday was a mistake. I shouldn’t have invited you over.”

  “Really? Why?”

  “Why what?”

  “Why was it a mistake?”

  “It just was.” Noah tossed his hard hat into a corner. “I’m saving you a lot of grief. We’re both better off this way.”

  “Don’t I get a say?” Carrie rounded the bench, invading his space. Forcing him to look at her. “My whole life men have been making decisions for me. Telling me how to dress and when to speak and to whom, and now you want to tell me what’s good for me. When do I get to make some decisions? When do I get to decide what I want and don’t want?”

  Noah stepped around her toward the exit. “Trust me,” he growled, “you don’t want this.”

  He would not walk away from her. Not again. “Give me a reason,” Carrie said, hot on his heels. “Why did things change overnight?”

  “God, woman, why can’t you let this go?”

  “Because you’re the first man I’ve wanted anything to do with since Patch died.” Noah stopped but didn’t turn around. “You’re the first man I’ve even considered letting in, and I don’t understand why you don’t want me anymore.” Tears threatened, but she willed them back.

  Runni
ng his hands through his hair, Noah shook his head. “It isn’t that I don’t want you, Carrie. It’s that I can’t have you.”

  “What?” she said, putting herself in front of him. “Noah, that doesn’t make any sense. You can have me. I’m right here.”

  “No.” The shaking got faster. “It isn’t that easy.”

  Cupping his face in her hands, she made him look at her. “I know that you have challenges. I have challenges, too. I’m afraid of my own shadow. I’m afraid of my own judgment and a million other things, but I’m not afraid of you, Noah. I never thought I would trust anyone again, but I trust you. That has to mean something.”

  He leaned into her hand. “It means you aren’t paying attention. I don’t sleep, and when I do, the nightmares are like walking through hell over and over again. I never relax, and I could snap at any time. I won’t put you in the line of fire, Carrie. I won’t put you back in that place.”

  “It isn’t the same.”

  “That mark on your throat was the same,” he said, trailing a finger where the bruise had been. “When I lose control, I’m not some asshole throwing a backhand to keep his woman in line. I’ve been trained to do a lot worse than that. You need to get as far away from me as you can.”

  “And I’m a woman who cheated on her husband after losing his child. A woman who endured abuse and never fought back because somewhere deep inside I believed that I deserved it. I deserved every punch, every kick, because of what I’d done. Neither of us is perfect, Noah, but no matter what you say, I’m not giving up on you.”

  Brown eyes closed on a heavy sigh. “You don’t know what you’re signing up for.”

  Carrie rose on her tiptoes to touch her lips to his. “I want you in my life, Noah. I want to see where this goes.”

  Pulling her tight against him, he said, “Promise me you’ll get out if I lose it. No second chances. If I hurt you again, we’re done.”

  She nodded, willing to say anything to convince him. “I promise.”

  “God, I’ve missed you,” he said, rubbing a thumb along her jaw.