*****
“What just happened?” Tyler ran up to Sarah and grabbed her hand. “Are you all right?” She was happy to see his concern, but appeased it quickly.
“I’m fine,” She told him. She squeezed his hand before letting it go. “I’m perfectly alright,” she addressed Grandpa and Jessie as they approached behind Tyler. The trio still looked worried. How could she explain what happened? She wasn’t sure, but before she even tried, she wanted a question answered. She met Grandpa’s gaze searchingly. “Is there something wrong with me?”
Grandpa reacted with astonishment. “No,” he answered quickly, “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you.”
“But you knew that would happen, didn’t you?” Sarah was certain she was right. “You’ve known all along that there’s something weird about me. That’s why you’re so overprotective.”
“What’s going on?” Tyler looked between Grandpa and Sarah.
“Yeah,” Jessie added her voice, “I’d love to know too. This is beyond weird; centaurs don’t ever talk to humans if they can help it.”
Grandpa’s discomfort was obvious. His shoulders slumped and he sighed. His mane of white hair was heavy with mist. It highlighted the weighted expression he wore. “I didn’t know,” he said with a shake of his head. “I suspected, but I’ve suspected you might be . . . different for some time.”
“Are we magical or something?” Tyler wondered.
“No, I don’t think so,” said Grandpa. “However, the three of you have a certain affinity for magic. It’s drawn to you,” he pointed at Tyler, “and Benji. Sarah seems to have a stronger pull than you two, though.” Their grandfather appeared strangely old and weary. “Your mother was the same way,” he whispered, “so I think it might have something to do with Sarah being a girl.”
“Well that’s not very fair,” Tyler pointed out philosophically. It almost made Sarah laugh. “Wait,” he looked thoughtful, “Mom was magical?”
“No,” Grandpa seemed to be having a hard time coming up with answers.
“Humans can’t be magical,” Jessie interceded. “It’s a genetic thing. If you ever hear of witches or something, they’re usually not human or at least not fully human, anyway.”
Grandpa nodded. “Yes, and since you’ve all been out in the world, in school and at the doctor’s office and such, I very much doubt that you’re of mixed blood. That’s pretty easy to spot and tends to cause quite a stir.”
“So what is it?” Sarah asked. “What are we?”
Grandpa gestured helplessly. “I wish I knew for sure,” he said. “All I really know is that when your mother first came here, she stumbled onto our secrets fairly quickly and those within the sanctuary always treated her with acute difference.”
“That’s why she didn’t want to stay here,” Sarah thought aloud. “She wasn’t afraid because this place is dangerous. The way she was treated scared her and she didn’t want us involved. She was afraid we’d be the same. And she was right. I am, aren’t I?” Sarah asked Grandpa directly. “I’m the same as her.”
“Well,” Tyler took Sarah’s hand again, but she wasn’t sure if it was to comfort her or himself. He was outwardly concerned and his eyes flashed with worry. “You look like mom,” he said, “so that makes sense.”
“Whatever it is,” Jessie interrupted impatiently, “doesn’t matter. What matters is: what the heck just happened with the leader of the centaurs?”
“What did happen?” Tyler asked her.
Sarah shrugged. It was her turn to struggle with words. They walked back to the horses as they spoke and she patted Nora’s neck to give herself time to think. “It’s hard to explain,” she began hesitantly. “Mostly because I’m just learning about things like centaurs and probably don’t have the right words.”
“Try,” Jessie said and flipped up the brim of Sarah’s cap. “Can’t be any worse than Grandpa’s lame attempt at enlightenment.” They all laughed, even Grandpa.
“I could hear him,” said Sarah wonderingly. “I still can if he wanted me to, he’s still pretty close.”
Jessie looked astounded. “You mean like in your mind? The way centaurs can talk?”
Sarah nodded, “I guess so. He can hear me too. He said I had big heart and strong emotions, but he knew I was having a hard time handling them. I don’t know, we sort of merged,” she shrugged. Tyler made a gagging noise and she laughed. “Mentally I mean, and emotionally,” Sarah clarified. “Gradually, it was like I was connected to all the centaurs, not just Eryx. Then I was me again, but I feel strange, whole,” she struggled to explain. “Not more than I was, but like I suddenly found something I never knew I’d lost.”
“That sounds pretty epic,” Tyler told her.
“It was,” she admitted. “Eryx said I was a sister now, to the centaurs. And even when he stopped touching my face, I could still hear him in my mind and feel his emotions, but I could feel the girl centaur’s too.”
“Can you feel them now?” Grandpa asked.
“A little. It gets faint the more they travel away from us. Eryx said distance had something to do with it.”
“I’m not sure if that’s cool or creepy,” Jessie said.
“I’ve never heard of anything like it,” Grandpa added, “but I think Eryx made you an honorary centaur somehow.”
“How’s that possible, if humans can’t be magic?” Tyler wanted to know.
“Emotions aren’t magic,” Sarah answered thoughtfully. “Humans have empathy, too,” she pointed out. “I think he just let me share his version of it.” She shrugged and changed the subject. “So what do we do now?”
Grandpa hauled a few half-gallon milk jugs out of his saddlebag. “Now, we set some boundaries for our friend Alphonse.”
Sarah was learning about this kind of magic from Aunt Rachel. Certain ingredients, when mixed together, could release small amounts of magic and create a desired effect. Aunt Rachel said it was like chemistry. You mix a few things together to get a specific product, but mixing things in the right order was really important. Sometimes you couldn’t even mix it up beforehand.
Sarah thought it was funny that her aunt made a visible effort not to call her mixtures ‘potions’. She asked Uncle Matt about it and he told her Aunt Rachel thought it sounded too clichéd. Which was true. It did sound pretty corny.
“We have to poor this around the grove?” Tyler was opening one of the jugs and eyeing the contents. The jugs were full of independent ingredients that Sarah knew, once poured on the ground, would make it impossible for Alphonse to cross out of his clearing. “Ugh! This smells awful,” Tyler suddenly exclaimed, comically wrinkling his nose.
“Sure does,” Grandpa agreed congenially. “This is what Rachel does with all those wacky things she gets from the village.”
“So she doesn’t use them in shampoo?” Tyler asked with more than a little relief in his voice.
“Good gracious, no, Tyler!” Grandpa roared, laughing. Sarah and Jessie both chuckled, too. “You think anyone would pour goblin slime on their hair?!”
Tyler looked embarrassed. “Nobody ever tells me anything,” he muttered. But perked up quickly, saying, “I knew that.” Sure he did, Sarah thought.
“Don’t we have to pour them out in a certain order?” Sarah asked.
“We’ve got a page and half of instructions,” Grandpa showed them a piece of notebook paper covered in Aunt Rachel’s handwriting. “I think I’ve done this enough that we don’t need them, though.”
Jessie and Sarah both reached out for the paper. They read the instructions carefully before letting Grandpa and Tyler start pouring stuff onto the ground. The grove area Grandpa designated for Alphonse was fairly large. It took over an hour to complete the boundary. Eventually it was done and they set off on horseback towards the manor.
Alphonse didn’t come out of his little house again. Grandpa said he was probably pouting.
It was late after dinner before Sarah got any time alone. S
he had to go through her experience with Eryx for everyone at least twice. This attention thing was getting out of hand. First everyone had to say something about her hair, now everyone was wondering why she’d been singled out. And why she could talk to centaurs telepathically. She dropped backwards onto her bed in relief. She would be glad when the attention shifted to Benji in a few days.
His birthday was coming up. Sarah nearly forgot about it. She felt guilty, but so much had been going on. At the dining table, Sarah took the liberty of pointing out the upcoming anniversary. This seemed to please her brother, he was much more comfortable with attention than Sarah. Dinner soon became a mix of speculation about Sarah and centaurs and questions posed to Benji concerning his birthday. It was a good meal.
There was just one thing that bothered Sarah. Neither of her brothers was overly concerned about their mother’s uniqueness. Benji acted unsurprised, but with him it was hard to tell. Tyler was content to pretend the whole escapade hadn’t happened, or so it seemed. Sarah on the other hand, was curious. There was so much about the world she never knew. And now she was finding there was just as much about her parents that remained unknown to her. The thought disturbed her. She didn’t like mystery.
“You’re scared too, aren’t you?” Jessie asked her that afternoon. They were in Sarah’s room, Jessie having decided it was her duty to rid the world of Sarah’s baggy wardrobe.
“Huh?” Sarah looked up from a pile of clothes she was sorting through. She didn’t want Jessie throwing all her comfy clothes away.
“Your mom,” Jessie said, “you think she was scared because she was different and you’re scared of the same thing. Not that I blame you,” Jessie added holding up a baggy t-shirt with the Tasmanian Devil on it. “I like attention, but not the weird kind you’ve been getting.”
Sarah smiled. She was glad her cousin was so blunt. It made Sarah feel like a more honest person herself. “Yes,” she said. “I’m scared.” She tried in vain to wrest the shirt from Jessie. She liked that shirt. “Not as much as I used to be, though. Mind melding with a centaur has given me new perspective.”
“You’re happier, too,” Jessie pointed out. “I mean, you were happy sometimes before, but deep down it was easy to see you were still sad, you know what I mean?”
Sarah nodded. “It’s been a strange day. First I get my haircut by a sixteen year old and then I’m inducted into the centaur sisterhood.” She heaved a dramatic sigh. “I not sure which was more traumatic.”
“Hey!” Jessie exclaimed. She threw a wadded up pair of shorts at Sarah. “Your hair looks amazing and don’t you forget who did it!” Sarah laughed and Jessie stuck her tongue out at her. It was good to feel normal again. She hadn’t felt normal in ages.
Jessie left not long before dinner time. She encouraged Sarah to go running in the morning, even offering to come with her. She said it was good for the soul. Sarah told her she would think about and shut the door after her. She reminded Sarah again after the evening meal, but Sarah wasn’t sure she was ready for another run. Not yet, anyway.
Alone, Sarah reflected on the day. She actually felt tired. Like she might be able to really fall asleep. Thinking of sleep made her glance at the window. She still hadn’t told anyone about San making her sleep and waking up back in her room. After meeting Eryx, she really didn’t think San would hurt her, but it was unnerving to think a strange boy entered her room. San was probably just overzealous. Sarah was afraid she would never be able to sleep until she made sure uninvited guests stayed out of her room.
Sarah went to her balcony and contemplated the night sky. It was still drizzling outside. If she went out, she’d have to bring a flashlight. Did she want to go outside? What she wanted was to have a little chat with San. It was time to stop being so sad and frightened all the time. Sarah vividly remembered the feeling of love she shared with the centaurs. They would never have honored her in that way if she was weak or unworthy. If she was as unique to San as she was to Eryx, she could understand his desire to help her.
She slipped on her dirty sneakers and dug out a flashlight from her bedside drawer. Walking quickly, but carefully, she let herself out onto the balcony and hurried down the stairs to the maze. She wanted to get this over with and go to sleep.
Sarah wasn’t surprised to find the secret exit already open at the back of the maze. She hurried down the path, wishing for a hat on to keep the chilly pricks of rain off her face.
She had never been to the pavilion this early in the evening. It surprised her when she saw the lights of the village winking bright and clear in the distance. But of course, it was barely half past nine. People would still be up. Sarah followed the stepping stones to the shelter of the pavilion, relieved to have the rain off her face and wondering how long she should wait to see if San would turn up.
Not long. She was facing the lake, watching the village lights blinking on and off when he walked up. She heard him this time. He stuck out sharply in the darkness because of his pale skin and hair. San looked surprised to see her.
“I didn’t think I’d see you here again,” he said. He was stood close beside her. The proximity made her uncomfortable, so Sarah moved away and sat on the stone bench.
“Why not?” Sarah asked. From the way San acted, she thought he expected to see her again.
He shrugged, but didn’t answer. “Why are you here?” he asked instead. “You seem different.” He cocked his head to the side like a puppy, looking at her curiously. “I don’t sense your sleeplessness like I did before.”
It was her turn to shrug. “I had a nice talk with a friend today,” she said. “I don’t think I’ll need your assistance again.”
“And you came to tell me that?” His dark eyes scrutinized her face.
“And I needed to ask you something,” she said firmly. The beam of her flashlight made him seem otherworldly, which, she supposed, was exactly what he was.
He spread his hands in a wide arc. “Ask me anything,” he said. “I won’t lie to you.”
“I don’t know about that,” Sarah muttered. She was unsure how to express her worries, so she took a page from Jessie and was blunt with her question. “Did you carry me to my room after you put me to sleep?”
San sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. He suddenly looked like a very normal, very embarrassed teenage boy. “Yes,” he said, “I sensed you might be concerned about that.”
“Just concerned?” Sarah rose from her seat in agitation. She was a bit more than “concerned”.
It was too dark to be sure, but she thought he blushed. “I actually began waiting at the pavilion because of you,” he told her. “I sensed your need for sleep. It is in my nature to help you.”
“So how did you get me back to my room? For that matter, how did you know which room was mine? Are you some kind of supernatural stalker?”
“No,” he crossed his hands in a negative motion to support his statement. “When you fell asleep, I took you back to your room. I couldn’t leave you out here. It might not be safe.” He looked at her pleadingly. “I assumed the room with the balcony door open was yours. It seemed likely since no one else was in it. I carried you to the bed and covered you up, but that was it. I left. I swear I haven’t been back.”
“So you’re not some kind of obsessive peeping tom?” She asked awkwardly. He shook his head. “Then why act so weird around me? It’s creepy.”
Behind his glasses, his dark eyes were remorseful. “I apologize for that. Your grandfather said I was being too forward, but from my point of view you deserve a certain amount of admiration. You are like a princess. I’m not sure I can treat you any other way.”
Sarah shined her flashlight in his face and studied him. He looked sincere. “It’s still creepy,” she said finally. “And I’ll still be locking up my room.” She pivoted back towards the hedge maze wanting to leave it at that.
“Wait!” San grabbed her arm. She stopped but glared at him until he let her go. “This is wrong,”
he moaned. “I should be your friend.”
Sarah sighed. “Why do we have to be friends?”
“We don’t,” he murmured, “but I would wish it.” He glanced away. “I know it is strange,” he stated. “I am not human and I doubt I shall ever live up to your human expectations, but I would still be your friend.”
Sarah thought about it. He had a point about the human thing. San hadn’t exactly grown up watching McDonald’s commercials and eating French fries. Culturally they clashed. But Sarah lived at the sanctuary now, at least for a year. She’d been ready to accept Eryx on his own terms. It seemed like hypocrisy to deny San the same basic request.
“Alright,” Sarah said softly. “I can’t promise to come out here every night.” She hoped her insomnia induced walks were at an end. “But when we see each other,” she continued firmly, “either here or in the village, you’ll try to respect my personal space. Deal?” She held out her hand. San shook it solemnly before letting her go. Sarah’s flashlight bobbed in the darkness as she walked back to the manor.
Sarah still locked the balcony door and drew her curtains when she got back to the room, but she felt better. She wasn’t sure about cultivating a friendship with San, but at least she was able to set some boundaries for herself.
Sarah changed into pajamas and got into bed, tired after the long day. She fell asleep quickly and woke just before sunrise to a knock on her door. She panicked momentarily, thinking of San’s pale face, but it was Jessie who barged inside. She insisted Sarah get dressed and dragged her out for a run. When the two girls found Adam lacing up his shoes on the front steps, Jessie issued a challenge and called for a race. Sarah beat them both. They had longer legs, but she was faster, especially since she didn’t have to stop for a sob session, anymore.
*****
Chapter 22: Birthday Wishes
Sanctuary Page 33