Crazy Love

by Rachael Tamayo

The blare of my alarm clock is always a brutal good morning. With a groan, I turn it off and stretch.

  “Morning Maxie.” I scratch her head as my feet hit the cold, hardwood floor in my bedroom.

  I kick clothes out of the way as I trek through the mess towards the bathroom, then freeze.

  Didn’t I clean this up? I spin in my room. It’s a mess. My heart starts to pound as I push my fingers into my hair.

  What the hell is going on? I move to the living room. It’s as cluttered as ever. My sink is full of dishes that I remember loading into the dishwasher last night.

  Am I losing my damn mind?

  I spin again, blinking my eyes and opening them with the futile hope that this is a dream that can be blinked away.

  No luck.

  With no idea of what to do, I head back to my bedroom. My clothes are laid out on my chair, just like I remember.

  Something is wrong. Tears blur my vision. What’s going on here? Why can’t I remember?

  I reach into the recesses of my mind for something, anything that might explain what happened over the last twenty-four hours. I find nothing, no fuzzy memories. Nothing but another headache that threatens to split my head open.

  Is this what happens when people go mad?

  ***

  Isaiah

  I finally had a moment to look into this character Noah for Emily, so tonight I’m meeting her for dinner to talk about it.

  As I grip my steering wheel on the way to Johnny Carrabbas, my palms are sweating. I wipe them on my jeans, reminding myself one more time that this isn’t a real date.

  Blowing out a breath, I park and laugh as I get out of my car. What a joke. My mouth is dry and I know it’s because, in just a minute, I’ll be looking into those brown eyes and cracking jokes just to see that smile on those lips.

  I’m torn. We’ve been flirting, but she’s never come right out as suggested we go on an actual date, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to make the first move after what happened. I’m glad to be seeing her again, but I can’t help but be worried she might freak out and take off on me once things heat up.

  I don’t know who I’m fooling. I know as soon as I see her, all reason will go out the window.

  After thanking the hostess, I spot her sitting alone at a table for two sipping on water. She waves at me from across the room, I grin. She glances at the gun on my hip, the badge embroidered on my polo. I came straight from work.

  This is not a date. I tell myself again as I sit down, picking up the menu without seeing it.

  “Hey, waiting long?” I look over the menu, forcing myself to pay attention to what I’m reading.

  “No, no I just got here.”

  “How’s everything? Any more trouble?” I set the menu down, shoving it aside.

  Her eyes are troubled. Her smile flickers like a flame in the wind.

  “Nothing to speak of.”

  She’s holding back something. At thirty years old, I’ve been a cop for almost one-third of my life, so I can spot a lie. I can’t hold it against her, it’s not like we know each other all that well. Just because I’ve seen her naked doesn’t mean she is obligated to share with me, but I want her to. The waitress arrives and she orders the Chicken Bryan, and I order plain lasagna and salad.

  “Well, I wasn’t able to find much. He’s forty-three years old, not married. No criminal history, a few traffic tickets. Nothing I could find makes him stand out, but that doesn’t mean anything. He might just be good at flying under the radar. Not to mention he knows half the cops in the whole county since he owns Blue Liners, where they all buy their gear. Have you seen him lately?”

  She nods. “Yep. He doesn’t miss a day.”

  I drum my fingers on the table, she chews on her lip.

  “I’m sorry I couldn’t find out more. I couldn’t justify digging any deeper without getting into trouble or harassing him.”

  “I know, I appreciate what you did. Just, this is so… frustrating. I wonder if I should just ask him right out if he followed me.”

  “I honestly don’t know. That could backfire.”

  “Which is precisely why I haven’t. It can’t last forever I suppose. Maybe eventually he’ll get bored and move on.”

  Last week she was sure that it was just coincidence. Now she doesn’t seem so confident.

  “Has something else happened? You seem more bothered by it now than you were a week ago.”

  She shakes her head without looking at me. “Nothing to speak of.”

  This again. Tells me that there is something, she just won’t say. Maybe she just needs more time, perhaps if we spend more time together she will feel more secure talking to me. I take a drink of my ice water and watch how she avoids my eyes.

  “Hey, why don’t you let me teach you how to handle a gun?”

  She looks up with wide eyes. “What? I’ve never even held a gun before. You think it’s that bad?”

  “I don’t know. But I’m a believer in self-preservation. It can’t hurt to know how to defend yourself. We can go tomorrow, I’ll let you borrow one of mine. I have a smaller pistol you can handle.”

  I can’t imagine what she’s thinking. For all I know she’s one of those I hate guns no matter what people. At least if she learns how to do the basics, I’ll feel a bit more at ease with this weirdo on the loose.

  “I don’t know, is it hard?”

  The innocence in her face makes me smile. “Not really. Most idiots can handle a gun, so you should be just fine.”

  She laughs, relaxing a little. “So, I’m most idiots?”

  “Naw, you’re a special breed.” I wink.

  She laughs again, meeting my eyes. “Well you’re a special kind of idiot yourself.”

  “At least we’re on the same page. So tomorrow?”

  She considers me carefully for a moment before she says, “All right. I’m off tomorrow. What’s a good time?”

  I grin. “I’ll pick you up around noon. You’ll be an expert marksman when I get done with you.”

  “Yeah, right.” She laughs as our food comes.

  Whatever she was thinking about must be forgotten now. She’s smiling at me as she eats, laughing at my stupid jokes. She orders a dessert and we share it, eating slowly. Somehow, I get the feeling she feels like I do and isn’t quite ready to leave yet.

  When I walk her to her car, I have to shove my hands into my pockets to keep from touching her. Emily brushes her hair off of her face, turning her eyes up to me. I’m dying to see her glittering brown eyes drift close as I lean into her lips. Instead, I just smile as she fishes her keys out of an oversized purse.

  “Thanks for dinner, Isaiah. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Have a good night, and your welcome. I had a good time.”

  She smiles. “So did I.”

  Silence hangs between us as she stares up at me. After a moment, she takes a deep breath and clicks her key fob, then opens her door.

  “See you.” She grins, getting into her car.

  I wiggle my fingers in a wave, backing up. “Bye girl.”

  Chapter Five

  Isaiah

  Emily stares down at the small pistol in her hands with wide eyes as if it’s going to bite her. It’s an outdoor gun range, the sun is bright and there isn’t a cloud in the sky. She has her red hair pulled back in a ponytail. A green t-shirt brings out her eyes, topping jean shorts.

  “How’s it feel?” I ask.

  She shrugs.

  I show her how to load it, unload it. The safety. I make her load and unload it three times, make her show me where the safety is over and over again.

  “Shoot to kill. There’s no such thing as shooting in the leg or in the hand like in the movies. This is real life, and if you point a gun at someone it’s because you want to kill them. Got it?”

  “Yes.” Her voice is quiet.

  I take the gun from her, hand her ear protection. “Watch me.”

  I take my stance, glance over at her. Sh
e’s watching with intensity, appears to be studying me. After I pop off a few rounds, I change out the paper target for a fresh one. “Ready?”

  “As I’ll ever be.” She blows out a breath.

  “Like this.” I move behind her, ordering her foot placement, I put my arms over hers, gripping her hands in mine. Damn, she’s right against my chest and her hair brushes my neck as I lean over to speak to her.

  God she smells good.

  “How’s it feel?”

  She turns her head, meeting my eyes. She’s so close I could kiss her by just moving an inch.

  “Better than I expected it to.” Her eyes glitter.

  I grin. Is she talking about me or the gun?

  “Fire when ready.” I let her go, backing up.

  She inhales and exhales with determination on her face. Mumbles something I can’t hear, then shoots. She lets four rounds go off in quick succession, then turns to me with a smile, setting the gun down.

  I push the button, bringing the target in for inspection.

  “Look, you got him once in the stomach.”

  She yells, clapping. Her outburst scares the hell out of me, then she throws her arms around me in a warm embrace.

  “I did it!”

  I smile down into her face, my arms around her waist.

  “You sure did. Good job. Wanna go again?”

  Emily looks up into my eyes in a way that makes my chest tight. Her eyes glance over my face.

  “Yes, please.”

  Well, hell. She isn’t letting go, and neither am I. For a long moment I absorb the heat from her body, remembering things that I shouldn’t be thinking about right now. Her smile broadens, she slips out of my arms with a giggle.

  I have to keep reminding myself that I can’t make the first move. I run my hand through my hair as she positions herself to shoot again.

  About an hour later, I pull the bag I brought with me out of the trunk of my car. She puts on sunglasses as I circle around in the parking lot of the range, calling her name.

  Setting the black duffel on the hood of the car, I motion to her.

  “Hey, come here. I’ve got something for you.”

  She gives me a crooked smile and approaches with a bounce in her step. I slide the bag over.

  With the slow sound of a zipper, she opens it. Her mouth falls open and bright, wide eyes turn up to mine. “The stuffed animals? From the carnival?”

  I smile as she pulls them out one by one. “I thought you might want them.” Hopefully she won’t think I’m weird for keeping them all this time.

  “You kept them all this time?” She clutches a pink stuffed pig to her chest, turning to me.

  “Yeah. Is that weird?” I wince.

  She grins. “No, no it’s not. It so sweet. I’m so glad you kept them, thank you.”

  Our eyes meet, she steps into me like she did that night at the rodeo.

  “Your welcome.” I manage after a moment.

  Raising her sunglasses, she gives me a view of her eyes that catches my breath. Her free hand finds my arm, the touch sending heat from my forearm upwards. In that moment, she pops up on her toes and kisses me. I think she intended a peck, but I catch her around the waist and she melts immediately. Her hands move to my face as she opens her mouth, inviting my tongue, and it’s accepted with a sigh. Her kiss is sweet and slow, and intoxicating. I didn’t think it possible, but it’s even better than I remember it. I fist the back of her shirt, she pulls my mouth into hers for a kiss so slow and deep that I can’t even remember my own name.

  Breaking our lips apart, we smile at the same time. “So, lunch?”

  She nods. “Sounds good.”

  I’m grabbed by the front of my shirt and pulled down into her lips, where I grin against her and she giggles. “I missed you.” I mutter against her mouth.

  “Me too. I was so stupid.”

  “You really were. Seems you’ve come to your senses.”

  She laughs, as her mouth covers mine, and she pinches my arm. I yelp. “Ow!”

  Another giggle when I smack her ass. Damn how could I have missed her this much after only one date? Whatever the reason, seems I’ve got her back.

  ***

  Noah

  I’ve been waiting for Emily to come home. I was prepared to follow her around today on her day off, but when I got here she was already gone. Normally, I’d spend the night in the attic knowing she doesn’t work the following day and enjoy the leisurely morning with her, but last night I wasn’t able to.

  The hours tick by and I haven’t seen a sign of her.

  I hear the front door around eight, and my heart jumps. Peering through the hole into the living area, I watch from above. She’s smiling, wearing a green t-shirt and shorts. Purse is tossed onto the couch.

  Where have you been all day, my love?

  I’ve been working on my plans all week. Upsetting her world little by little, just enough to make her wonder. Question what’s really happening around her, and who she can turn to for help. I hate to upset her, but it’s the only way I can bring her close and make her dependent. I must be her rock, and this is the best way.

  I know in the end, she will thank me.

  She moves out of view, I head carefully to the next hole. I find her in the bathroom. Careful not to make a sound, I lay on the attic floor watching her. She sits on the edge of the tub, turning on the bath, adjusting the temperature. She adds bubbles and bath oil. Next, she turns on the radio that’s on the counter. The sound to twangy country music assaults my ears, but I ignore it.

  Emily takes off her shorts first, wiggling out of them as she kicks off her shoes. Both are tossed aside. My breathing picks up as I watch her grip the hem of her t-shirt, slowly pulling it over her head. Now standing in just a pink demi-cup bra and matching thong panties. She knows just what I like, teasing me this way. Undressing slowly, bending to check the water just so that I catch a perfect view of her from behind.

  Holding my breath, I watch her slip out of the bra, breasts come tumbling out. The panties are next. My heart is thundering when she slips into the tub, pinning her red hair up as she sinks into the bubbles. Stretching in the water, she gives me a glorious view before sinking further into the water, her curves tickled by bubbles as they move out of sight.

  It’s not the first time I’ve watched her in the tub. It always takes everything I have to control my breathing, careful not to move or make noise as I watch her slip her hands over her body, lathering, and shaving. Moving slowly, she knows how I love to watch.

  My breath catches when she slips her hand into the water, her thighs fall apart. My breath comes heavier as I watch her hand move, the bubbles disappearing just enough to let me see her fingers work. Her mouth opens, she bites her lip.

  She likes it when I’m watching. Because she’s a good girl, she wants to please me.

  Soon we will be together, very soon. The thought of touching her, the softness of her thighs and the way she breathes when she’s excited, it makes me light headed.

  She’s going to be so happy.

  I watch her until she falls asleep. Even then, I wait a while before daring to venture out of the attic. Her house is newer, so it has stairs instead of the ladder that most houses have, making it much easier and quieter to get out.

  I wouldn’t want to wake her, she needs her rest. But, now it’s time to get to work. First thing, I crank the air conditioner down to fifty eight degrees. I’ve never once seen her touch it, in these last few months. She keeps her house at seventy four degrees, day and night.

  Unable to resist, I slip into her room. She’s sleeping naked again. The blankets have slipped down to her waist as she lays on her back, her bare breasts rise and fall in the slow deep rhythm of sleep. One leg sticks out from under the blankets.

  Sleep well, my lovely. I can’t wait to be with you.

  Chapter Six

  Emily

  Emily

  Wake up Emily.

  Baby, come on, wake up. Don
’t do this again.

  Doctor, is she going to be all right?

  **

  I bolt up in bed. What the fuck was that? Did I just dream that? My ears still ring from the whispers echoing in my brain. Clutching the blankets to my body the freezing cold hits me. Why is it cold?

  I glance around the room, terrified of the shadows. Everything looks normal. Surely, it was just a dream. Blowing out a breath, I get out of bed and wrap the blankets around me. Maxie lifts her sleepy head from the pillow, watching me move around my room, check under my bed, in the closet. Nothing.

  She would be barking if anyone was here, I’m just being silly.

  Maybe I should check the rest of the house, just in case. I shuffle from room to room. Everything looks fine. No one lurking, no more voices. Must have been a dream, but damn if it felt like one. I was dead asleep and hear what sounds like a voice next to my bed.

  Maybe it wasn’t a dream. A dull throb is starting in the back of my head. I swear. Not another freaking headache.

  I shake my head, shuffling to the bathroom to pop some more Advil. I stop in the hallway and check the thermostat. It’s set to fifty-eight.

  “What the hell, I didn’t change this.” I mutter, changing it back.

  There is no one else here, it had to be me that changed it. God, what’s wrong with me? I thought the headaches were just from the stress, but maybe I have a tumor or something.

  This shit’s been happening all week. I got gas the other night on my way home, the next morning my tank was on E again.

  I went to work on Wednesday, they all looked at me weird and told me that I had called in sick the night before, when I don’t remember doing it.

  Caroline showed up to check on me, asked me how things were since I’ve started dating Noah. I tried to explain to her, she just looked at me like I’ve lost my ever-loving mind. I even went back to find the business card he gave me, to show her that I barely know him. I couldn’t find it. I told her that I’ve started dating Isaiah again, and she just laughed at me and told me, “What Noah doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” She thinks that I’m seeing both of them at the same time and despite, my arguments, she swore to keep my secret from them both.