Fighting Fate

by Louise Clark

  Sooner or later Cody would have to confront Ava. The glee in Ava’s voice when she figured she had him cold had proven that, but he couldn’t do it over Faith, or when he was filled with anger on her behalf. He’d have to fight Ava over his own issues.

  She took a deep breath. When she came in on Monday morning it would probably be to retrieve her personal things from the office, but Ava would make sure she couldn’t get into the computer files, so she’d better clean them up now, while Cody and Andrew were still busy in the bullpen.

  Turning to her computer she did a quick scan of her e-mail, deleting the ‘personal’ folder, then she went on to her document files and dumped her few private ones into the trash. As she shoved the mouse around and fiddled with computer files, thoughts of Cody filled her. He had a wickedly sharp intelligence and he always noticed things, even though he didn’t seem to at the time. It was going to be tough to keep him in the dark about this, but she had to, at least until she had come to grips with her own feelings.

  Her files were in the trash now. She stared at the little icon, her mouth twisted into a smile that was bitter rather than amused. More important than her files, the virtual trash can also held her dreams. She moved the pointer onto the icon. Her finger rested on the mouse, hesitated, then clicked. A dialogue box came up, advising her that the files would be deleted permanently, giving her the opportunity to change her mind. She stared at the screen, aware of time passing. The choice had to be made. Yes or no. Decide now.

  She swallowed hard, acknowledged the knot in her stomach that was making her feel sick, and the cold sweat that had turned her body icy. Then she clicked okay and the files were gone.

  Reaction set in. She stared at the screen for what seemed like a long time, but probably wasn’t, searching for the despair she expected to feel. It wasn’t there. What was filling her was a kind of relief.

  Relief? Really? Couldn’t be. Or could it?

  She had hidden behind the goal of being normal for so long that she had forgotten what mattered in her life. A loving family who supported and cared for her. Success in her chosen profession, because she reached for the heights and wasn’t afraid to take risks. A man who was her partner in all things, who loved her with an intensity that understood and accepted her for what she was. Nothing more. Nothing less.

  Instead, she’d been aiming low, telling Andrew to stay away, building a relationship with Cody that was based on a lie—or at least an omission—all because she was afraid people would find out she wasn’t normal.

  Well, that was about to change. She logged-off the computer with a sense of finality that was empowering. It was time for her to come out of her protective burrow and show Cody just exactly who she was and how she felt about him. It was time for commitment.

  The screen went dark. Faith grinned. Commitment wasn’t something that could be rushed, though. She’d make a weekend of it.

  She’d start tonight, after Andrew went back to his own time. She’d show Cody that she wanted him, that the passion they’d almost shared after the Mountain Madness concert was real and only the beginning. She’d seduce him. Coax him into bed, give him herself, let him see parts of her she’d kept hidden.

  She straightened the papers on her desk, recycling some, sorting others, putting file folders back in the cabinet. Tomorrow night she’d implement the second half of the commitment plan. This part was tougher, scary where tonight’s agenda was pure joyous anticipation, for she would have to tell him about her special power. How he reacted would decide their future together.

  To make sure Cody accepted her, she’d pull out all the stops. She’d invite him into her world in a way that was as seductive as the passion they were going to share tonight. Candles, she mused, getting into the planning. Warm lighting, flowers, Celtic or new age music to give an ‘otherworldly’ quality. A special meal using the fragile, hundred-and-fifty-year-old china she saved for Andrew’s visits that had to be washed by hand.

  She shoved the drawer into the file cabinet. It closed with a slam.

  A new dress to signify change and a beginning. She began to hum. The dress would have to be fancy, the kind that shouted it was for a special event, not every day wearing. Heels, definitely spike…

  The sound of footsteps had her turning. Cody was there, in her office, closing the door. He stood, legs apart, arms loose by his sides, body straight and tall. His features were set in hard, concerned lines, and he appeared ready to take on whatever danger presented itself. She smiled and the worried expression in his eyes eased.

  “I saw Ava leave here looking like she’d just won the lottery.” His gaze swept her office, rested momentarily on her bare desk, then on the blank computer screen, before it came back to her face. “What happened? Are you okay?”

  A quick stab of pain came, then was gone. Faith sauntered over to Cody. She linked her hand with his, raised it up so she could hold it in both of hers while she smiled into his eyes. “Everything is fine. More than fine. Andrew has been fired, but since he was going home tonight anyway, it doesn’t matter.”

  She was very close to Cody. She could feel his tension. His body was responding to her, but he wasn’t quite ready to let go of the problem at hand.

  “Your desk is clear and your computer is shut down, like you’re leaving.”

  Butterflies took flight. She smiled enticingly and moved a little closer. “I am. Andrew has to leave and I’m going to drop him off. That means I’ll have the evening free. Want to come pick me up? About seven o’clock?”

  That little half-smile she loved chased the concern from his eyes. “I’ll make a reservation at Mel’s.”

  She couldn’t resist it, she traced the shape of his mouth with the tip of her finger. “No. Not Mel’s. I want you to take me to your place.”

  Understanding smoldered into life. Just to make sure there was no confusion, she reached up, caught his head between her hands, and pulled it down so she could kiss him.

  There, in her office. A teasing, tempting kiss that told him exactly what she had in mind for the evening. He let her play for a time while he eased his arms around her, then he caught her hard against him and kissed her with a passion that had a promise of its own. When he released her, he laughed. “Go,” he said. “I’ll see you at seven.”

  She grinned back at him. “I’m looking forward to it.”

  There was an elation about Faith he’d never seen before, as if she was living life for the first time. And yet, beneath the laughter there was a fierce edginess that smoldered, waiting for an opportunity to explode. When he’d picked her up at seven sharp and she’d told him that Andrew had gone home to see Mary Elizabeth, Cody told himself she was just relieved that Uncle Andrew had decided to resolve his relationship with his girlfriend. And yet…

  Something else had happened today. He could see it in the shadows in her eyes and the way she brooded when she thought he wasn’t looking, as he drove them both to his place on Beacon Hill.

  So what was it that was bothering his Faith? The obvious answer was Ava’s dismissal of Andrew. In itself that was no surprise. What was amazing was that Andrew had survived until Friday before he was caught. Though the man was absolutely fascinated with the little things of twenty-first century life—Cody could still laugh at the scene in Faith’s office when Andrew got himself stuck in the window—his complete absence of knowledge about computers was really strange. Andrew was of an age to have grown up on computer games and even if his family hadn’t had the money to invest in a computer of their own, back in the days when a PC cost about the same as the family car, he would have had friends who had computers or seen them at work.

  Come to think of it, what exactly did Andrew do? And where did he live?

  Yes, Andrew had a lot going for him as a major irritant, but Cody didn’t think it was Andrew who had caused that underlying intensity in Faith tonight.

  So that left her job or her boyfriend.

  Cody liked the idea that he could be important enough
to Faith to influence her moods. This afternoon in her office she’d told him she wanted him to take her to bed tonight. At least, he thought at the time that was what she had in mind when she said she wanted to see his place and then kissed him, there in her office, where she worried about every damn little thing. He could be wrong though. She might just want to check out his apartment to see what kind of place he had. Or maybe how well he kept up that place.

  The thought of that had him in a cold sweat as he drove along the Longfellow Bridge, heading across the Charles River from Cambridge to Boston. Faith was so neat, so careful about how she kept her house and he was so untidy. He forgot to put his clothes away and he didn’t make his bed. Not only did he get preoccupied and not put things away but his place was dusty. He lived in Beacon Hill, a city neighborhood surrounded by major arteries. The roads were busy, the traffic was constant. There was air pollution and some of it seeped into his apartment as dust. It was inevitable.

  As he turned onto Charles Street he cleared his throat. “Faith, about my apartment.” He risked a glance at her. She had been looking out the window at the river, but as he spoke she shifted in her seat so she could see him better. She smiled at him. His heart did a flip. He plowed on. “It’s old.”

  “Most of the houses on Beacon Hill are.” There was amusement in her voice.

  “It was remodeled into apartments thirty years ago. I’m on the top floor.” He turned off Charles onto his street.

  “So have you got a great view?”

  He found a space, pulled in and from long experience expertly maneuvered the car so it was tight against the curb. “Yeah, I do. I can see the Charles River from my bedroom window.”

  “I like the sound of that,” Faith said, opening her door.

  Her voice was warm, rich, and inviting. Cody felt himself heat up as he followed her out of the car.

  He took her hand as they walked from the car to his building.

  She looked around thoughtfully. “Which house is yours?”

  “The one with the stone planter by the steps. My downstairs neighbor likes to fuss with stuff that grows. I think he’s a closet gardener.”

  Faith laughed. “A useful person to have around.”

  As they reached his house, he tried to see it from her eyes. Would she notice the trim around the doors and windows had been freshly painted? Or that the iron railings on either side of the stairs were free of rust? Would she appreciate the way the stone steps had aged over the decades, so that there was a dip in the centre of the treads?

  The apartment was his home, but not in the way Faith’s house was her home. He slept here—sometimes—he worked here—sometimes—it was big enough for his needs. He didn’t love the place, the way Faith loved her old farmhouse, but it was his and he wanted her to like it.

  Because if she liked his house, it meant she liked him. Right?

  They reached those old, worn steps without her saying anything. Cody told himself it didn’t matter, but he began to wonder if she was going to ask him to turn around and take her back to Lexington. “Are you ready to come in?”

  The look she gave him almost melted his socks. Oh, yeah. This was going to work.

  His apartment took up most of the third floor and included a loft that had originally been part of the attic. Standing in the hallway, he hesitated. “Faith.”

  She smiled at him in a warm, encouraging way that said she cared about what he had to say.

  He wanted to tell her that he’d do anything for her to keep her in his life, but he didn’t know the right words. He’d tried to show her by helping out with her strange relative, Andrew. He knew that she’d never let her home get into the state his was, with dust and clutter everywhere, so he wanted her to know that it didn’t have to be that way. That he was open to change.

  Maybe she’d figured that out already. Still, he couldn’t take the chance that she might misunderstand. He cleared his throat. “Before we do, ah, I want to, ah, prepare you.”

  She looked astounded. Then she laughed. Crossing her arms over her breasts, she leaned against the doorjamb. “Sounds like we’ll be here for awhile. Okay, shoot.”

  “My place is big, but it’s cluttered.”

  She nodded. “Got it.”

  “I probably have spiders.”

  “Oh horrors. What else?”

  “It isn’t perfect.”

  She pushed away from the door to take hold of his shoulders. Then she shook him gently. “So what?” she said. She raised one hand to his cheek, cupped it lightly, then gently traced the line of his jaw to his mouth. She watched his expression, her gaze softening, her eyes darkening. As her thumb moved across his lips, he touched it with the tip of his tongue, then nipped it gently.

  Faith laughed. His feelings for her burned hot, demanded an outlet. He put his hands around her waist, then drew her close so she could feel him. Her hand slid down from his face so she could grab onto his shoulders and her lips parted. Cody couldn’t resist. He lowered his head so he could plunder those lips in a kiss that said just how important this moment was to him.

  They were both breathing hard when he pulled away at last. “I’ve been wanting to do that since I picked you up.”

  Her smile blazed. “Me too.”

  “Then let’s go inside.” She nodded and he reached for his keys.

  The layout of his apartment was simple. The door opened into a small foyer that contained a built-in cupboard and an armless chair with a padded seat and wicker back. As soon as they entered, he saw the jacket he’d been wearing yesterday draped casually on the chair. He stared at it in horror until he noticed Faith’s lips twitch. Good. She wasn’t offended by the sloppiness. Still, he ushered her deeper into the apartment as quickly as he could.

  To the left were two bedrooms and a study. The doors were closed, thank heavens. That meant she wouldn’t see the workbench he’d put in the study so he had the space to take apart computers, or the clutter of books and files in the first bedroom. The second was respectable enough, though. Like any normal bedroom it contained a double bed and a dresser. He never used it.

  To the right were the living room, dining room and kitchen. They were reached through open archways, with no doors to shield them from her eyes. He hoped they passed muster. Ahead of them was a staircase that led up to the loft where the master bedroom suite was located.

  Maybe he could convince her to start the tour up there. It was worth a shot.

  She headed straight for the kitchen, poking her head into the living and dining rooms on the way. He followed, looking critically over her shoulder. He didn’t use them much, so both rooms were burdened with a minimum of clutter. The kitchen scared him though. It was his main living space and a personal disaster area. “Faith? Could we, you know, look at this another time?”

  She turned her head, tossing him a look so full of mischievous amusement, that he felt his heart fall to his feet then bounce back up again. Oh God. He wanted that look to stay. To see it again, and again. She sauntered into the kitchen, her gorgeous long, thick sunshine hair swinging along with her stride.

  “You promised me the full tour, and I’m holding you to it.” Then she reached the kitchen. “Oh, my.”

  His kitchen was a nice room. The cooking area was spacious, with plenty of counter space. A big island contained the stove and dishwasher. The breakfast nook was a bay with large windows that let in the sunshine. It was his favorite part of the apartment and it showed in the papers piled high on every part of his teak dining table.

  He held his breath as she looked around her curiously, ran her fingers across the polished marble counter, touched the surface of the stainless steel fridge, walked over to the piled-high teak table.

  And ignored the mess as she looked out the window at the view.

  Cody realized he’d been holding his breath. He let it go as he followed her over to the breakfast nook. “There’s only me,” he said, a little desperately.

  Still staring out the window, she said
, “I’ll bet this room is flooded with sunshine in the morning.”

  Relief swept through him. Everything was going to be okay. He reached out to smooth a lock of that fabulous hair away from her face. “Why don’t you stay the night and find out?”

  Her eyes widened and her breath caught, then she seemed to soften. It seemed like the right moment to cover her lips with his, just her lips. If he touched her anywhere else he wasn’t sure he’d be able to control himself long enough to take her up to the loft and into his bed.

  Because no matter how desperately he wanted to make love with her, he didn’t want to seduce her. He wanted her to be a partner in their lovemaking—and everything else in their lives. He wanted a friend. He wanted an ally. He wanted Faith.

  Oh, God, this was killing him.

  She stood perfectly still, while her lips fed hungrily on his. When he could stand it no more he caught her head between his hands then he hardened his mouth on hers, forcing her lips open, sliding his tongue between them, deep into her mouth. She made a sound that was the sexiest whimper he’d ever heard and opened to him.

  He knew that he was very close to losing control. He wanted to strip away the clothes that hid her from him. He wanted to see her body. He wanted to have her naked beneath his hands. Oh, man, did he want her naked. They would touch, they would play, they would love.

  But he couldn’t do it unless she wanted it as much as he did. He wouldn’t convince her. She had to ask.

  Was he nuts, or what?

  When he dragged his lips away from hers he figured that was the hardest thing he’d ever done. He wasn’t even quite sure his reason for doing it made any sense. He just knew he had to.

  She looked bemused, then her gaze sharpened. She turned away from him to inspect the cooking area.

  Disappointment flooded him. It appeared that she wasn’t as hot for him as he was for her. Damn. Had he misread her signals that badly?