Amoeba (The Experiments)

by Jacqueline Druga

  “Bill, this will only take a second.” Jake pulled out a packaged of gauze and ripped it open, laying it paper side down on the night stand. He then pulled a small bottle out of the pouch, twisted the cap, and lifted out a dropper. “Tilt your head.” Laying his huge hand on Billy, Jake pushed Billy’s head to the side. He picked up the gauze keeping it under the gash, then he placed the tip of the dropper near it. “It’ll hurt for a . . .”

  “Ow!”

  “Billy, please,” Jake scolded, catching the dripping medication that mixed with blood as it ran down Billy’s face. Jake added another drop of the fluid, got another squeal from Billy, and then placed the gauze on Billy’s face. “Hold this.”

  Billy watched as Jake put the bottle into the pouch, and then pulling out another paper package. When Jake ripped open that package, he saw Jake lift from it an already-prepared suture needle complete with sutures. “Oh shit. Please tell me after you’re done with me, I’ll be able to be on television again. Is this going to hurt?”

  “No. You’re numb.”

  “No I’m not.”

  “Yes, you are.” Jake brought the needle to his face.

  “No I’m . . . hey.” Billy smiled. “I can’t feel my cheek.”

  “See? Now, can I do this? Thank you.”

  “Jake, how is it that you know what to bring, what to use, and how to do this?”

  Jake hesitated in inserting the needle into Billy’s skin. He looked into the eyes that watched him, then Jake looked at the cut. “I just do. Field experience. Now quit moving so I can get this done.” Leaning into Billy, Jake began to stitch his cheek.

  ^^^^

  Back on the path, Rickie ran again. Faster this time, and with a smiling look of determination. He made it just little bit further than he had the last time before he stopped again. He looked down at his hand holding the wet popsicle stick, and whined loudly again. With a stomp of his foot, he spun back around and ran back up the path.

  ^^^^

  Jake shut off the water in the bathroom. He grabbed a hand towel from the rack, and dried his hands as he walked back into Billy’s room where Billy was pouring a glass of Jack Daniels. “What did I tell you? And . . . you haven’t a clue what Indian man gave you. No drinking.” Jake took the bottle and glass. “Now, before anymore is said, I want to thank you.”

  Billy looked up at him. “For what? Getting knocked out?”

  “That was pretty funny . . . I mean, you took a chivalrous shot.”

  “I never saw it coming.”

  “That, too.” Jake folded his arms. “You know, Billy, I can help you with that.”

  “Thinking about it now, that may not be a bad idea.”

  “Excellent.” Jake grinned. “Anyhow, thank you for stepping in. Cal and I have this trust. I couldn’t break my promise, even though I wanted to. God, did I want to. So you did, and I am very grateful for that.”

  “I’m glad you are. Right now, I’m not.” Billy stood up and walked over to his dresser. “I can’t believe Cal had to defend me like that.”

  “Yeah.” A smile graced Jake’s face. “She’s fuckin awesome when she does shit like that. Man, I’ll tell ya Bill. When I see her do that, she makes me . . . makes me . . .”

  Billy lifted his lowered head up in question at Jake.

  Jake cleared his throat. “She, uh, pushes me to the verge of finding myself in an anatomically embarrassing situation.” He cleared his throat again, looked serious, then smiled.

  “Well I’m glad you were able to find sexual arousal in my pain.”

  Chuckling, Jake grabbed his pouch. “I’m gonna get going, I have something really special planned for Cal and me right now.”

  “Was the moment spawned by what happened today?”

  “You can say that.” Jake reached for the door. “So don’t keep her too long. Send her home after you talk.”

  “Jake!” Billy called out stopping him. “I can’t face Cal.”

  “What?”

  “I don’t want to see her.”

  “Don’t even tell me you’re mad at her,” Jake said.

  “No, I’m embarrassed to face her. I . . . I . . . can’t. Just not now.”

  Jake scoffed at him. “What is it? Your pride?”

  “Um, yeah.”

  “Oh, you’re being fuckin stupid.” Jake tossed his arm at him. “I’ll send her in.”

  “Jake, no.” Billy’s eyes pleaded. “Not yet, okay? I feel really bad about what happened. Not yet.”

  Jake took a moment to look at Billy. “All right.” He looked down at his watch. “I’ll take care of my business with her and then send her over. Get over this pride thing by then. She’s persistent.” Jake reached for the door. “And, uh, Billy. The cheek scar.” Jake gave a thumbs up and opened the door.

  “Oh my God.” With Jake’s comment, Billy raised his eyes to look in the mirror, touched his injury, and grabbed the bottle of Jack.

  “Jake.” Cal rushed him as soon as he pulled the door closed.

  “Cal.”

  “Is he all right?”

  “Yep. Let’s go.” Jake grabbed her hand. “I have something special planned for us.” Jake winked. “You kind of put me in the mood when you kicked Larry’s ass.”

  “Oh, yeah?” Cal smiled holding Jake’s hand. “Gonna seduce me?”

  “Cal, please.” Jake briefly closed his eyes. “You know my theory on that. There’s a reason your body goes through what it does once a month. And trust me when I tell you, intimacies are just not supposed to occur during that time.” Jake pulled her hand. “Let’s go.”

  “Uh-oh.” Cal resisted. “You’re not wanting something one sided are you?”

  “Cal . . . please. In all our years when have I ever been like that?”

  “But you said something special and you’re in the mood.”

  “Yes.”

  “Oh, I get it, it’s a Jake thing. Something physical. Okay. But . . .” Cal pulled her hand from his. “I want to talk to Billy first.” She spun to knock.

  “Cal, he doesn’t want to talk to you right now. Not yet.”

  Cal lowered her hand and looked at Jake. “What do you mean?”

  Jake’s eyes shifted. “I thought I was pretty clear.”

  “You’re an ass. I mean why?”

  Jake shrugged. “He just doesn’t.”

  “Oh, you’re lying, you just want me to do whatever sick Jake thing you have planned.”

  “Cal.”

  Cal knocked on the door. “Billy? Can I come in.”

  Billy hesitated before he called out. “Cal, not just now, okay?”

  “Billy, let me in.” Cal knocked again.

  “See, Cal.” Jake reached up and pulled her back. “And you insinuated that I lied. Shame on you. Let’s go.”

  Cal smacked Jake’s hand away. “Billy.” She called out again. “Open the fuckin door.”

  “Oh nice. Very nice,” Jake commented, then received a glare from Cal.

  Billy called out from his bungalow. “Cal, can you just come back later? Please?”

  Jake tossed his hands up. “Cal, let him go. Come back later to do your Laverne and Shirley antics with him.”

  With some hesitation, Cal stepped from the door. “All right. And . . . Jake, which one am I? Laverne or Shirley?”

  “You’re tough. You’re definitely Laverne.” Jake walked away from Billy’s place with Cal, and he looked back. “And that one is definitely Shirley.”

  ^^^^

  In the control center on the island, Stan peered down with authority to Rickie as if he were looking at his five year old niece. “Rickie, no.”

  “Dude, come on.”

  “Rickie you can’t . . .”

  “Dude, check this out,” Rickie said with a snicker as he held up his hand. “Check out my fingers. They’re like, stuck together.” Rickie laughed as he spread his fingers apart after a sticky struggle. “Cool huh. So like, can I?”

  “No. You cannot have another popsicle. That makes
five, Rickie. How many have you eaten?”

  “Guy, like, they keep melting.”

  “Eat them here.”

  “I can’t. Come on.” Rickie watched Stan shake his head. “I’ll tell on you.”

  “Nope.”

  “I’ll turn monster.”

  Stan rolled his eyes. “That doesn’t frighten me Rickie. Get over it.”

  “One more.”

  ‘No.”

  “Please?” Rickie begged.

  “No.”

  “I’ll take a green one this time. Dude . . . I’ll let you have one of the root beer flavors. Come on, what do you say. Be a bud.”

  Stan huffed out. “All right. But if it melts, no more.”

  “Got it. I’ll run real fast.” Rickie smiled as he watched Stan move toward a freezer. “Aren’t you, like, glad you’re my Mr. Rourke.”

  “Who?” Stan handed Rickie a popsicle.

  “Mr. Rourke, guy. Fantasy Island. De plane boss. De Plane.” Rickie laughed, but Stan did not. “Guy, lighten up. I liked you better when you were, like, a flunky at the toot.”

  “I’m fun now.”

  “Prove it. Come and party with me and Louie-Louie tonight.”

  “I can’t.” Stan walked over to the freezer and pulled himself out a popsicle. “I have monitor duty tonight.”

  “Can I watch with you? I’ll do commentating.”

  Stan thought about it. “I’ll clear it with Dr. Haynes. Check back.”

  “Okay, thanks. And I’ll steal some beer off the big guy.” Rickie hurried to the door. “I’d hang a little more, guy, but I have to go before the drip factor occurs. See ya.” Rickie took off running.

  Stan chuckled and sat down to enjoy his root beer flavored popsicle.

  ^^^^

  Sitting on the bed, Cal watched Jake, pull a medium sized black bag out of the closet. “Jake.”

  “Okay.” Jake closed the closet. He walked over to the desk, grabbed a chair, and slid it over near the bed laying the black bag on it. “Remember this bag?”

  “Yeah. You called it your surprise goodie bag and wouldn’t let me see what was inside.”

  “You didn’t peek, did you?”

  “No.” Cal shook her head.

  “Good.” Jake unzipped the bag. “I was going to save this for later. But . .. I can’t. After today you deserve to have this now.”

  “Is it a present for me?”

  “Yep.”

  Cal shuffled in excitement. “And I get it now?”

  “Yep.” Jake reached his hand into the bag. “I’ll give it to you. But we’ll probably not move into that phase until a little later. You might as well see it. It’s part of your Stasis training.”

  The excited look dropped from Cal’s face. “Stasis training.”

  “Oh, yeah, Cal. As soon as I heard we were coming back, I started to come up with a Stasis training regimen. We might as well take out the son of bitch early since we know how. And I designed something. Had two made, one for me and one for you. It’ll make our battle easy. Here you go. Happy experiment!” With a kiss to her cheek and a look of pride, Jake pulled the item from the bag and laid it in Cal’s hand.

  Less than enthusiastically Cal looked at it. It was a knife, but it was an odd looking knife. It had a long silver handle, maybe eight inches long, three across, and a rim at the top where the blade was, although not much of a blade protruded. The sharp object was no wider than a pocket knife, narrow, pointed, and short. “Jake, good job.”

  “You look confused.”

  “Hon.” Cal tried to seem impressed. “Are you sure this is going to take down a seven foot indestructible beast? Maybe they got your measurements wrong.”

  “Huh?” Jake looked oddly at her. “Oh. You’re being facetious. Watch.” Into the bag he reached again taking out a Styrofoam head with a face drawn on it.

  “Cute.” Cal said.

  The head had a neck and part of the shoulders attached to it. Jake held it to her. “Now, how do you kill a Stasis?”

  “Get close enough to it to sever the brain stem,” Cal answered.

  “Exactly. Watch.” Jake grabbed her weapon and placed it in the back of the neck of the Styrofoam demonstrator.

  Cal hummed. “Okay.”

  “Oh ye of little faith.” Jake grinned, and shifted his thumb to the end of the handle. He threw the styrofoam head high in the air and, with a clicking sound, a thick blade came out of the handle of the little knife. “Ha! A Jake guillotine!”

  Cal shrieked with excitement. “Jake, that is the coolest thing!”

  “It is.” He retracted the blade with a button on the side of the handle. “The smaller object secures the stem and then the blade cuts right through.”

  “Oh wow.” Cal took the knife back, stood up, and extended it out. “Ha!” She clicked out the large blade, laughed, retracted it, swung the knife about like a sword, and ejected the blade again. “This is so great.”

  Jake looked at Cal proudly and very pleased, as if he were watching a child with a toy. “I knew you’d like it. I thought we could make our own dummy stasis and train.”

  “I’d love it.” As Cal turned around to face Jake, she saw him looking elsewhere. “What’s wrong?”

  “Speaking of a Stasis. Rickie.” Jake pointed toward the window and moved to the door. “He blew me off today.”

  “Blew you off for . . .” Before Cal knew it, Jake was out the door. “What?” She retracted the large blade again, laid the object on the bed, and followed Jake out.

  “Rickie.” Jake stormed to him.

  “Sarge, not now, look.” Rickie held up the popsicle that still had about an inch worth of enjoyment on it. “I have to get this to my body guard.” Rickie kept moving toward Lou’s bungalow.

  “You blew me off this morning, Rickie. You know you aren’t supposed to do that.”

  “Sarge, like, I ran ten times back and forth to the Control center, that equals twenty miles guy.”

  “How fast?” Jake asked as Rickie went to the porch.

  “Top speed last time.”

  “All right. But you aren’t off the hook. Give your . . . wait a second. Bodyguard?”

  “Yeah.” Rickie knocked on Lou’s door and Lou answered. “Here you go, guy. Lime.” He gave Lou what was left of the popsicle.

  “Thanks.” Lou smiled and took it.

  “Rickie . . .”

  “Jake.” Cal ran up to the porch.

  “Cal.” Jake held his hand out to her. “Rickie, why do you need a body guard?”

  “Cause, like, Sarge, it’s cool. Lou-ster, do your bodyguard look.”

  Lou crossed his arms over his stomach and glared. Rickie shrieked and jumped behind Jake.

  Jake let out a breath of annoyance at Rickie’s laughing. “Rickie, go wash your hands and get ready. Give me twenty minutes of your precious time.”

  “Eye-eye, Sarge.” Rickie stepped into Lou’s bungalow.

  Jake turned around on the porch to Cal. “You know what, Cal? You should . . .”

  “What are you up to?” Cal asked as Jake walked off the porch by her.

  “Just something Rickie and I have to do.”

  “Jake, I’m a little jealous. At the last experiment, you didn’t leave my side.” Cal hurried to catch up to him. “And why are we heading to Billy’s? He hates me right now.”

  “He doesn’t hate you, and I’d still prefer you not to be alone. But I have to do this with Rickie, so stay with Billy until I get back.”

  “You’re pawning me off,” Cal complained.

  Jake stopped walking. “Are you . . . are you whining?”

  “No.”

  “You are. And it’s extremely unbecoming and not you. Knock it off. You’re bitching that I’m leaving you alone. I recall last experiment you bitched that I wouldn’t leave you alone. At least this experiment you have others to watch out for you besides me.” Jake stepped onto Billy’s porch. “And I’m using one of those options now.”

  “He won’t le
t me in.”

  “Sure he will.”

  “No he won’t.”

  “Watch.” Jake knocked on the door.

  “Yeah?” Billy spoke funnily, almost like he had toothpaste in his mouth. He re-wrapped the cloth that held the herbal powder that Paul had given him for his bruising and swelling from which he had just taken a pinch to put under his tongue to let it dissolve slowly, as Paul had suggested.

  “Billy,” Jake called out. “Can I come in?

  “Yeah, just a . . .” Billy picked up his glass of Jack and took a drink to rinse that herbal powder down. He cringed. “Minute.” He walked to the door.

  Jake looked at Cal when he heard the door unlock. “There you have it.”

  Cal smiled, tip toed up, and kissed Jake on the cheek. “Thanks.” She turned the knob of Billy’s door and walked in. Billy was standing at his dresser. Quietly she shut the door and stepped down the single step into the room. “Hey.”

  Gripping the edge of the dresser, Billy in shock, looked up. “Cal?” He grunted and turned away. “I’m killing Jake.”

  “And I’m hurt.” She walked up behind him. “And why are you drinking this early in the morning? You’ll be hung over by lunch.” She moved the bottle and glass out of the way. “Billy? Are you in pain?”

  He gave a soft chuckle. “You could say that.”

  “Are you mad at me or something?”

  “No. At myself. I feel . . . I feel like such a loser right now.” He lifted his head slightly when he heard Cal laugh. “That makes you laugh?”

  “No.” She stood behind him and reached around, laying her hand on top of his. “What’s wrong huh?”

  Billy shook his head.

  “Why don’t you want to see me?” Cal asked softly. “Billy, thank you for what you did for me today.”

  Billy shifted his eyes to her hand. He separated his fingers slowly allowing room for her fingers to slip in between his. He took a shivering breath, moving his index finger enough to lift up and brush against hers.

  Cal rested her chin on his shoulder speaking near his ear. “Thanks for coming to my rescue . . . my . . . hero . . . my . . .” She snickered. “Knight in shining armor.”