Amoeba (The Experiments)

by Jacqueline Druga

  “What are you doing?”

  “You have to hold me.”

  “Oh God.”

  “Shh.” She snickered, swung out her legs and wrapped them around Billy’s waist.

  “Cal.”

  “I’ll try to support myself as much as possible. Just hold on tight for a sec . . .” Cal locked her legs tight around him, holding on to the tree with one hand and removing the other. She slanted her shoulder to allow the rope to fall to her hand. “Got it. Now just bear with me.”

  Billy watched her reach up, her legs squeezing tighter around him with every move up she made to get the rope over the tree. His eyes moved from her arms, to his hands, to his waist. Looking at where and how tight their bodies were locked. He swallowed. “Oh, God, now is not the time to be having this thought.”

  “What?” Cal spoke muffled, one end of the long rope in her mouth.

  “Nothing.”

  “Got it.” Cal slipped the one end through the other that contained what looked like a belt loop. She gave a tug, pulling the rope and locking it against the branch. “There.” Her one hand held on to the branch again to give some relief to her weight that Billy supported. “Now let me get this end . . .” As she brought the rope near Billy’s waist, her eyes widened. “Billy?”

  “Sorry.”

  Cal laughed. “Oh, that is really bad timing.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Wait until I tell Jake.”

  “Don’t you dare!” Billy struggled to hold on as Cal maneuvered the rope around him. “Cal, I can’t hold . . ow.”

  “What?”

  “Ow!” he nearly shrieked.

  “Am I hurting . . .”

  “Ow! I’m pig food. He’s biting my fingers.”

  “Oh, fuck,” Cal said with a chuckle, pulling back from Billy.

  “I’m gonna fall . . . ow.”

  “Grip the rope, you’re good.”

  “I’m glad you’re finding humor in this.” Billy let one hand go, grabbing the rope, then when he was secure, he gripped his other hand to it.

  “This whole thing . . .” Cal hoisted herself up. “ . . . is pretty . . .” Her legs reached up and hugged the tree. “Funny.” Cal lifted her body up, letting her chest hug against the under part of the tree. Her eyes stayed fixed on the boar who spotted her wiggling foot. “Come on,” she beckoned.

  “Who are you talking to? I thought we were climbing down? Cal?”

  “Come on.” Cal pulled herself tighter, and just as the boar opened its mouth to grab for Cal’s boot, she loosened her leg from the tree, bringing it out slightly and nailing the boar in the side of the face. With a loud squeal, the boar flew off the tree, and Cal let out an echoing ‘Ha!’ as she watched the boar smack into trees, bounce on the plateau, and finally land lifeless in the cavern below. “Now who said pigs can’t fly?”

  “Can we climb down now?” Billy asked, holding on to the rope.

  “No need to now. We’ll just . . .” The tree shifted.

  “Cal.” Billy’s eyes grew wide. “Did you feel that?”

  “Um.”

  The tree jolted again.

  “Cal.”

  Cal looked to see the end of the tree slipping and sinking into the hillside’s mud. “Climb down Billy! Climb down now!”

  Billy, trying not to rope burn his hand, lowered himself, watching as he did.

  Cal, in a fast belly crawl, scooted herself across the tree, first gripping the rope with her feet, then sliding her feet down until she grabbed hold with her hands. There was a loud slushy sound, and the tree, with a creaking sound, moved violently.

  Billy nervously held on to the rope with one hand while untying it from his waist. He looked up to Cal not five feet above him. “Cal, there’s still ten feet left to go.”

  “Jump.”

  “Jump?” Billy undid the knot.

  “Oh God, Billy.” Cal felt the tree move again. “Jump!”

  Billy did, and the tree creaked loudly, letting loose on the muddy hillside as Cal slid, rope burn and all, down that rope and letting go. She landed in the thick mud next to Billy and looked up at the tree that was falling their way. In a huddle, they scooted together as the whistling limb sailed down. Before careening to the cavern, one end of the tree hit with a huge vibrating thump against their little landing causing the weakened plateau that they thought was their safe haven to crumble into a muddy slide, sending Cal and Billy, feet first, on a fast slop-filled roller coaster ride all the way down the bottom.

  The weight of Billy brought him to the bottom first, rolling him into a shallow pool of water. Moments later, Cal, with a high velocity, rolled right into him knocking him back with a splash.

  “Whew!” Cal lifted to her knees shaking her head. “All you all right?”

  Billy couldn’t speak. His mouth moved and his body shook. “I’m . . . I’m . . .”

  “Dizzy?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Are you hurt?” Cal asked.

  “No.”

  “Well.” She looked up. “At least we don’t have to worry about climbing back down now, do we?”

  “Are you . . . are you normal?” Billy asked her.

  Cal laughed and tried to stand up, but her boot found a hidden hole slipping deep into a mud pocket and caused Cal to trip backwards.

  “See, that’s what you get.” Billy pointed at her, raising himself into a sitting position. He breathed heavily while looking down at Cal covered with thick mud, on her rear, legs bent up, her blonde hair so soaked it was flat against her face. His eyes shifted to her knee, then his hand moved over it as he smiled. “But I have to tell you.” He flicked mud at her face. “You really look great covered in mud.”

  “Gee, thanks.” She laughed and grabbed a handful of mud, tossing it at him.

  Billy ducked with a laugh, then reached his hand out. “Here. Let’s head back.”

  “Thanks.” Cal gripped his slippery hand and used it as leverage as she clung to the front of his shirt.

  Billy pulled her up and tried to get his footing. As she was brought to a kneel, Billy slipped, falling towards Cal and arching her backwards. His hand reached down to the ground, stopping himself before he knocked her completely over. “Sorry. Not much of a hero, huh?” As he lifted himself up straight, Cal, still holding on to his shirt, came with him, causing them to meet chest to chest. Billy paused in moving when he noticed Cal’s stare on him. Immediately and nervously, he locked into that. With a shiver, trying to escape a moment he really didn’t want to have, he reached up, smearing away some of the muddy hair from her face. He swallowed harshly and his chest rose in a deep breath. “You . . . you . . . really do look cute in . . .” Billy closed his eyes and lowered his head to Cal. “Mud.” With only a slight hesitation he touched his lips to hers. The moment that their joined lips met and parted was the moment they sprang away. What sounded like a group of pigs squealing loudly at them and in an attack mode had scared them into separation.

  Cal wiped the mud from her eyes and looked around. Seven wild boars surrounded them. “Do you think we’re in their mud?”

  “I think we’re on their dinner plate.” Grabbing Cal’s hand, Billy, in a tripping stand, hoisted her up. And with the cry from the pack of boars, Billy and Cal took off running, screaming all of the way as the seven hungry animals pursued them with speed and determination.

  ^^^^

  Jake was slipping into the rare occurrence of a mid morning nap as the boredom of his book consumed him. His bobbing head, propped on his hand, sprang up when he thought he heard a scream. Listening and hearing no more, Jake, chalking it up to one of those almost-dream sounds that awaken you, shook his head to wake himself, and tried to read the book again.

  Cal leaped like a hurdler over a tree stump. “Billy,” she said as she charged in a run. “It’s my intention to lose these things. That’s why we’re . . .” Another jump. “Running around these fuckin woods. Now, quit screaming.”

  Billy looked behind him to the
pig pack that followed. “You quit screaming.”

  “I’m allowed. I’m a woman.”

  “I’m telling Jake you said that.”

  “Oh!” Cal spoke with excitement. “Good idea! Let’s go tell Jake. This way.” She careened to her left and onto the path not far ahead. And, of course, the pigs, loud and persistent, followed.

  Down the path Cal and Billy charged. Behind them, the wobbling, fast moving creatures caused a dust storm in their stampeded chase. Billy let out a female type squeak as a boar leaped at him and nipped at his rear just as they rounded the bend near the bungalows. Cal, who was running side-by-side with him, spun and kicked out her foot at the pursuing pig. The pig snorted in pain, flew backward, and slammed into the other six who just jumped over him and kept on coming.

  Reed, standing on his porch, saw the two of them running, screaming, and laughing. “Hey, guys, what’s going on?”

  Cal pointed at him as she raced with Billy across the unity circle towards her bungalow. “Reed! Get inside!”

  “What for?” Reed asked, and then his eyes widened when he saw the pack of boars enter the camp.

  In a hurry and nearly flying, Cal burst open the door to the bungalow and slammed it shut with her weight once Billy was inside.

  Jake lifted his head, looked, returned to the book briefly, then sprang up. “What the hell happened to you two?”

  “Hi Jake.” Cal smiled nervously. “Hon. Can you, uh . . . get me the revolver.”

  “The revolver?” Jake questioned as he walked around the bed. “What do you . . .” A bang against the door shut him up. “Is something following you, Cal?”

  “Yes.” Cal bounced as she held the door.

  “Cal?” Jake tilted his head as he moved to her. “What’s behind that door?”

  Cal flashed a smile, looked at Billy then Jake. “Pigs.”

  “Pigs?” Jake questioned with a wide eyed look, “Pigs? Pigs are chasing you.”

  “Boars.” Billy corrected. “Mean ones, too.”

  “Christ, and you led them here?” Jake shook his head in disgust moving to the bed. After opening the night stand, grabbing the revolver, and placing it in the back waistband of his pants, he reached underneath the bed, pulling out his arsenal bag. Just as he unzipped it and pulled out two shotguns, he heard the loud painful scream of Reed.

  “Aw!” Cal whined loudly. “I told him to get inside.”

  Jake pumped the chamber on the shotgun and tossed the other to Cal. “Ready?”

  “Yes.” Cal pumped her chamber as well. “Close or far?”

  “I’m faster, you’re more accurate.” Jake aimed his weapon low. “I’ll take close.” His finger was ready. “Billy, when I say . . . you open that door fast.”

  Billy scooted up to the door, staying clear of Cal and Jake’s aim. He grabbed the handle and prepared.

  “Ready and . . .” Jake ordered. “Now!”

  Billy flung open the door. It happened so fast, he was grateful he couldn’t see. A short squeal, a heavy shot, and a pump of the shot gun. Another shot by Jake followed not two seconds later. Billy watched them both step out on the porch, and just for safety’s sake, he stayed inside behind the slightly closed door.

  “Cal, to the left. I’ll get the ones that are eating.”

  Jake stepped off the porch, and Cal shifted her gaze, aimed, shot, pumped, and shot again. Two boars flew back.

  Jake neared a screaming Reed’s porch. His arms flung out as he fought off the two boars that nipped and picked at him. Tossing the shotgun over his shoulder, Jake pulled the semi-automatic revolver from the back of his pants, clicked back the hammer, stepped closer, and fired only twice, both of which hit the boars in the head, killing them instantly.

  Reed lay crying on the porch, trembling. Jake scooted the carcasses of the boars aside and moved to Reed.

  “Jake!” Cal ran forward through the other participants who had emerged when they knew it was safe. “Is he okay?”

  Jake shrugged. “Hey, you okay?” He asked, but only received a whimper. “Christ. Hey.” Jake bent down closer.

  Cal joined him on the porch, Judge and Paul not far behind her. “Jake, is he all right.”

  Jake visually examined him. “I see lots of blood, but no reason for crying like this. A leg nibble, arm bite. Nothing major. Reed, come on get . . . oh, okay, I see now.”

  “What?” Cal asked.

  Jake stood up with a slight cringe and a sniff. “They got his ear.”

  ^^^^

  Billy could barely move because of the mud that had dried on his clothes nearly as hard as concrete, but he wanted to get the pictures he had developed of Cal out of the bathroom so the dampness from the shower didn’t ruin them. One batch was already ripped up, and he didn’t want the second batch from those negatives to get ruined as well. He paused to look at a picture of Cal, and then set it down on the sink with the others. He closed his eyes thinking about their eventful afternoon, the fall, the mud. And not only could Billy still feel the pain where that pig had nipped his fingers and rear, he could still feel something else, as well. Cal’s lips on his. And that wasn’t good. Billy didn’t know why he let himself go like that, and he knew he had to get it together, because like him and Cal on that muddy hillside, his feelings were starting to careen out of control.

  ^^^^

  Lou stood, arms crossed in his body guard mode, looking down at a whimpering, bald, and bandaged Reed lying in the bed in his bungalow. Raising one eyebrow, Lou looked at Judge who sat at Reed’s bedside, then at Paul who was over at the dresser with what looked like a mini pot over a flame. Then to Rickie. “He . . . he doesn’t look good,” Lou commented.

  Judge peered up. “I don’t think he’s dying.”

  “No, that’s not what I mean,” Lou said. “He doesn’t look good. Bald, earless . . .”

  Rickie laughed loudly, then quickly shut up when Paul, carrying a smoking wand, walked over to the bed. Rickie stepped out of Paul’s way moving closer to Lou.

  Paul shook the smoking wand over Reed, doing a mumbling chant. And for every word he spoke, Rickie tried his best to imitate it. Then Paul stopped. “Do you mind?”

  “Dude, you look at me weird.” Rickie pointed. “You don’t like me guy, huh?”

  “That’s because only I see you.” Paul’s eyes glared at him.

  Rickie snickered. “Dude, that is, like, so wrong. Lou sees me, don’t you guy?”

  “Yeah.” Lou nodded.

  “No.” Paul spoke softly yet firmly. “I see Rickie.”

  Rickie snickered placing his hands together and forming a circle and peering through. “Romper-stomper-bomper-boo. Tell me, tell me, who are you. I see Lou, and Judge, and . . .”

  “You are an abomination,” Paul stated.

  “Yeah.” Rickie nodded. “Cool, huh.” He growled. “I’m a monster.”

  Lou shook his head. “That is amazing.”

  “What, guy? That I’m a monster?”

  “No, that you know Romper Room.” Lou was so amazed. “You’re so young.”

  “Dude, like, my uncle was one of the writers of that show. I got me the hand-me-down moon shoes while all my little buds were still, like, morphin on the power rangers.” Rickie gave a thumbs up.

  Paul slowly stared up. “I really need silence.”

  “Why?” Rickie asked.

  “So this can work.” Paul let the smoke linger over Reed.

  “Like on his ear?”

  “Yes.”

  “Dude, Sarge, like, sewed up what he could, See . . .” Rickie reached down to the bandage only to have his hand removed.

  Paul looked at him. “While this man is weak, do not touch him. We don’t want what is in you to pass along to him.”

  Rickie tightened his lips and looked up at Lou then to Paul. “Just so we’re clear. Will it get you mad if I touch him again?”

  “Yes,” Paul answered calmly.

  “Okay.” Rickie bounced some, reached out his hands, laid them on Reed, saw
the glare Paul gave him, and then sped from the room with Lou.

  ^^^^

  Facing the shower’s hot water stream, Cal ran her hand over her wet hair, then flicked the extra water from her face. She snickered when Jake touched up behind her as he closely examined the nails on her hand. “They’re clean, Jake.”

  “Checking.”

  “Really, I’m not a child. I could have done this myself.”

  “Cal.” Jake rubbed over her fingernails. “You were covered from head to toe in mud. You had mud, and I don’t want to know how, in crevasses of your body you shouldn’t have.”

  Cal laughed. “Again, cleaning myself is a task I could have handled.”

  “Well.” Jake moved even closer. “I do have an ulterior motive.”

  “Really?”

  “Yep.” Jake softened his voice and he grabbed her wrists. He raised her arms, placing one of her hands flush against the wall and the other flush against the shower door. He reached around the front of her for the soap in the dish, soaping up his hands.

  “I uh . . . I might like this ulterior motive.” Cal moaned a chuckle as she felt both of his hands lay on her stomach.

  “I should hope so. It’s, um, all part of the cleansing process.” His voice was raspy as he tried to keep it soft. His one hand glided up her slowly, his fingertips barely touching as they traced the contour of her breasts. “Cleanliness is next to godliness.”

  “What . . uh . . . what does religion have to do with this moment?”

  Jake nibbled at her ear. He smiled as he felt her head press back into his chest when his other hand moved down. “Let’s just say I long to hear you say . . .”

  “Oh, God.” Cal closed her eyes.

  “That’s the phrase.” Jake brought his lips to her ear again. “Do you know how much I love you?”

  Cal’s head swayed feeling his touch, feeling his lips glide softly down her neck.

  “And . . .” Jake spoke through his kisses. “How great you looked in mud.”

  Cal’s eyes widened immediately, and the vision of her kissing Billy flashed into her mind. “Jake.” Her head sprang up. “Stop.”