Amoeba (The Experiments)

by Jacqueline Druga

  “Cal.” He wiped off her face. “Sweetie, we can talk after we get you dry. I don’t want you getting sick on me.”

  She saw his smile, and it was like a guilt knife burning through her. “Stop it. Please stop it.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Stop being so nice to me.” She raised her hands and her voice stepping back.

  “Cal?”

  “I don’t deserve it.”

  He smiled in a quirky way. “What are you talking about?”

  “I was with Billy tonight, Jake.”

  “Yes, Cal, I am well aware. I sent you to talk to him, remember?”

  “Oh, God.” Emotionally, she covered her mouth with her hand.

  “Cal?” Jake stepped to her.

  “Jake.” She said his name with a sob, her shoulders bounced. “I was with Billy, Jake. With Billy.”

  The towel dropped from his hand at the same time that his heart dropped to his stomach. Any smile, any emotions, were swept from his face and were replaced with a cold stare. Jake’s eyes grew wide, his head lifted up, the muscles on his jaws twitched.

  “Jake, I don’t know what to . . .” Cal felt the brush against her shoulder and Jake’s rage as he moved passed her, flung open the door, and stormed out. “Jake!” Cal raced from the bungalow following him. He walked steady, eyes forward and focused on Billy’s place. “Jake.” She caught up to him. “Please we have to talk.”

  Jake pulled his arm from her hold, snapped his eyes only once to her, then walked again with determination to Billy’s.

  Cal froze for second. Her sob was laced with fear as she watched Jake step onto Billy’s porch.

  There was no knocking, no stopping, no calling out. Jake walked right in, his stride never slowing in his entrance as he stepped down the single step into the center of the room. Billy was not there. And the moment Jake saw the bed, the unmade bed, his gut felt as wrenched and twisted as the sheets were. He stared long and hard at the bed, turned to look at Cal by the door, looked back at the bed, then, like a man on a mission, he stormed back out, still not saying a word.

  Jake’s silence frightened Cal more than anything. What was he going to say? What was he going to do? She followed him in his determined walk all the way toward the other buildings.

  Billy sat at the table in the recreation building, staring at his folded hands, ignoring the comments of Rickie and Lou who tried to instigate him. Billy couldn’t react, he couldn’t think about anything but Cal. And he knew the inevitable had come when he heard the door to the recreation room open and he looked up to see Jake. It was happening, It was his own personal Judgment day. Slowly, he stood up.

  A knot thickened in Jake’s stomach when he saw Billy. A twinge of disgust burned him when he had a vision of Billy being with Cal. With no words, and a steady outraged stride, a small curl of his top lip, Jake stepped to Billy, fist tightly clenched, and with everything he had he sailed his fist into Billy so hard that Billy literally lifted a foot from the floor, flew back with a spin, and landed hard with a roll to the ground.

  Jake stood exactly where he had thrown his punch watching Billy lying on his stomach, not moving. Then, taking in a long breath, Jake turned and walked to Cal grabbing hold of her arm. He saw her looking at Billy, and he pulled her while he moved. “Don’t even think about it.” His one hand reached out opening the door, releasing Cal’s arm, and with a hand to her back, led her out.

  Rickie knew. Watching what had transpired so fast, the look on Jake’s face, the look on Cal’s face, Billy’s demeanor. That said it all to him, and he walked over and stood above where Billy lay.

  Billy could see the top of Rickie’s tennis shoe as he lifted his head. Blood flowed from his mouth and cheek. He felt as if his face was ten times bigger, and it pounded with so much pain. But to Billy, it wasn’t enough. And he guessed it wasn’t over yet. He still had one member of the family to deal with . . . Rickie. He figured that was what Rickie waited for. And Billy was okay with that. He was willing to take anything right now because he felt he deserved it all. Rising up some, Billy was shocked. He was prepared to take whatever Rickie had to say or do, but he wasn’t prepared to take the hand that Rickie extended down to him as help.

  ^^^^

  The second shot of whiskey passed through Jake with angry ease, and he poured just one more, slamming the bottle to the dresser and downed that one as well. Wiping the back of his hand across his mouth, he looked at Cal who still hadn’t moved since they returned to the room. She stood not far from the door. Her face the same, her folded arm stance still the same. Jake walked to the fridge, opened it, and grabbed a beer. “Sit down,” he told her as he untwisted the cap and move toward the table. Cal didn’t move. “SIT DOWN!” he blasted at Cal.

  His words not only shook her entire body, but they caused Cal to fly to the table and sit down. So scared, so cold, she sat, arms tight to her, her eyes never leaving Jake. He’d pace, look at her, take a drink of his beer, and pace again. “Jake.” She spoke his name sadly, and then sobbed. Her head dropped and she grabbed her arms tighter. “Jake, I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry. I don’t know what else to say to you.” Her words shook as she hyperventilated when she spoke. “I don’t know what happened. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

  “Cal.” Jake silenced her with his one, firm, yet soft word. “You didn’t mean it?”

  “No.” She shook her head drastically staring at the floor.

  “Look at me, Cal.” He waited. “I want you to look at me the whole entire time. You will raise your fuckin head and face me. You got that?”

  Cal nodded and looked up.

  “Did he force you?”

  “No.”

  “Did he coerce you in any way?”

  “No.” Cal answered.

  “You were drinking. Were you drunk?”

  “No.”

  “Then you knew exactly what you were doing?”

  Cal didn’t answer.

  “Did you know exactly what you were doing?”

  She held back from crying, but it escaped in her answer. “Yes.”

  Jake took another drink of his beer. “Then how in the hell did you not mean for it to happen?”

  “I didn’t think, Jake. I didn’t think it would get to that point. I didn’t think my feelings . . .”

  “You have feelings for him?”

  “Jake. No. Not like that.” Cal stood up. “You have to . . .”

  “Sit down.” He waited for Cal to return to her seat. Jake tried to be calm, eerily calm, but what didn’t show was the fact that it took every ounce of strength not to lose it. “Explain these feelings. And be honest with me. I want nothing less now.”

  “They aren’t what you think, Jake. They aren’t. I swear. I knew . . . I knew I felt something for Billy.” Cal slowed in her speech when she saw the twitch of Jake’s facial muscles. “But Jake, it was nothing more than maybe an infatuation. Nothing I would think to do anything about.”

  “You thought wrong.” He saw Cal’s head drop. “Cal, look at me.” He sat down at the table. “Now I want to know. I want to know everything that happened tonight.”

  “Jake . . .”

  “Everything, you hear me? From the second you walked out the door to after it was over with. Everything. I want no surprises.”

  “Why?” Cal asked with desperation.

  “Why? Because I need to know what was going through your mind. Your heart. I need to know what kind of intimate acts my wife performed with another man. I deserve to know this.”

  “But why now?”

  “You think tomorrow, or the next day, or how about two weeks when it isn’t as strong on my mind, you think I want to find out details then? No, I want to know now, and I want to get it over with. Talk to me.”

  “I don’t know where to start.”

  Jake took a drink of his beer. “How about I start? Did you even discuss what you wanted to talk to him about?”

  “Yes.”

  “Ex
plain to me how a conversation about his father got you to that point.”

  “He . . . he was upset.” Cal sniffed. “He felt bad and it was raining and we went inside.” She waited for the ‘go on’ nod from Jake. “I was drenched and I borrowed clothes from him while mine dried. We talked, and we had some drinks. I was getting ready to leave, Jake. I swear I was. And he kissed me on the cheek. Just a simple kiss on the cheek. And I found myself in this moment, and the next thing I know I’m kissing him and how, I don’t know, I . . . . I ended up being with him.”

  Jake had to take a second before allowing himself to show any emotion. “It doesn’t wash. He kissed you, and it just seemed like a good idea to go to bed?”

  “No.”

  “How did you kiss him, Cal?”

  “What?”

  “How did you kiss him? Did you kiss him like you kiss me? Was it more intense, more sexual, what?” He saw the lost look on Cal’s face. She didn’t know how to answer him. “Did it go from the kiss straight to bed? Was there foreplay?”

  “Yes.”

  “So you had time to think about stopping it?” Jake continued.

  “Yes.”

  “You couldn’t?”

  “I was . . . I was caught up. I couldn’t,” she answered nervously.

  “So he kissed you. You kissed him. Was he touching you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Where?”

  Cal hesitated with a swallow. “All over.”

  “And did you touch him . . . all over?”

  Cal’s mouth closed tightly and she shook her head. “Not all over. I touched him, but not . . .”

  “So you kissed. You touched. Was there a lot of kissing, Cal?”

  Cal only nodded.

  “A lot of kissing. So it was more intimate than raw.” Jake finished his beer, stood up, and walked to the fridge to retrieve another. “Is that right?”

  “Yes.”

  “How intimately did he kiss you, Cal?” Jake asked.

  “Jake, please . . .”

  “How?”

  “Very.”

  “Where?”

  Cal sobbed.

  “Where?”

  A light pause, a whimper, and Cal’s eyes closed tightly. “All over.”

  If Jake squeezed his beer bottle any tighter, it would have crushed within his hands.

  “Jake, I don’t understand why it’s important to know what happened. It happened. I don’t understand.”

  Jake’s voice raised for the first time as he leaned close to her. “Because I need to know what my wife had to get from somebody else that I couldn’t give her! And I also need to know if my wife, MY WIFE, enjoyed it.”

  Cal stopped shaking, her eyes widened.

  “Did you, Cal?” Jake waited for an answer. “Did he get you to a point that only I should get you to?”

  “Jake . . .”

  “Answer my question, Cal.”

  Cal’s words quivered, her heart raced. “Jake, listen, I just . . .”

  “Answer it!” Jake yelled, then repeated his question in choppy slower words. “Did he make you cum?”

  Cal gasped, closed her eyes, and trembled. Hearing him say that filled her with contempt for herself for what she had done. She couldn’t answer. She started to cry.

  “Cal.” Jake only heard crying. “Cal.” Still no answer. “Then I’m going to take this response as a yes.” He received a sob from Cal, and Jake turned his back to her and walked a few feet from the table. He stared at the wall bringing his beer to his mouth. Taking a drink of the coldness of it and letting his breathing and racing heart calm. For the longest time he couldn’t turn around. Cal’s sniffles from her tears were the only sounds in that room. When he felt he could face her again, Jake, with partially closed eyes, moved back toward her. “What did I do wrong?” Jake asked of her with passion to his voice. “Where did I go wrong? Can you tell me? Please? There’s no instruction booklet on how to be a good husband. I was doing the best I could. I thought I was doing good. If I wasn’t, I would have thought something inside of you would have sent a signal. I thought you would have told me what I was doing wrong.” He stepped closer to her. “That’s what you’re supposed to do. Come to me. Tell me how to make it right.” His words picked up strength. “I would have made it right. I would do anything for you because I love you that much. It’s my job, Cal, to make you happy, no one else’s. So tell me where I went wrong?”

  “You didn’t.” Cal could barely speak she cried so badly. “You didn’t, Jake. You love me more than anyone. You treat me better than anyone. You’re a great husband.”

  “Then why . . .” With surprising outrage, Jake’s arm flung forward sailing his beer bottle into the wall. The crash, flying glass, and beer caused Cal to shriek and jump. “Then why did you sleep with Billy?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You don’t know?” Jake’s face not only felt hot to him, but it grew red, strained, angry. “I’m supposed to accept that? I’m supposed to just take ‘I don’t know’ for an answer? Well, ‘I don’t know’ isn’t good enough, Cal! It will never be good enough!” On his final words, Jake, in his rage, grabbed hold of the table flipping it across the room.

  Cal, still sitting in the chair, shook and cowered as the table ricocheted off the dresser into the wall, rolling with a vengeance toward the night stand, blasting everything with a mighty crash.

  Jake stormed to the dresser, grabbed the fallen but unbroken bottle of Jake Daniels, snatched it up into his hand, and barged out of the room.

  Cal’s hands, shaking, reached with hurt and desperation to her legs bringing them up against her chest as she sat in that chair. She buried her head to her knees and did what she had been doing for the last hour. What she couldn’t help but do. Cal cried.

  ^^^^

  The rain had finally stopped, and Jake contemplated leaving the porch, getting away from the bungalow. He watched everyone return to their own places slowly, looking his way as they did. Even Rickie said nothing. He just raised his hand in a sad wave.

  Jake sat on the step, holding the bottle in his hands. There was so much hurt and hatred in his heart that he didn’t think it was possible for him to feel like any worse. And while he was staring at the bottle, picking off the label, Jake heard the slow shuffle of feet. He lifted on his eyes to see Billy approach him. Jake took a drink. The liquid swished hard from his mouth as he stared coldly at Billy. “Know . . . right now. You are the last person on the face of the fuckin earth that I want to see standing before me.”

  Billy closed his pain-filled eyes. “I know.”

  “And do you know how much I want to just kill you right now?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then why are you here?”

  “I have something to say.”

  “You have nothing to say.” Jake closed his eyes and lifted the bottle to his mouth again.

  “Yeah, I do. You . . . you welcomed me into your home, your life.” Billy’s head dropped and he spoke his words through a tear-filled sadness. “I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to betray you like this, Jake. Never. I’m sorry.” Billy’s eyes glossed over. “I am so sorry. If I could give my life, my soul, to take this all back, I swear to Almighty God I would. I would.” Billy’s words dropped to a near whisper. “Just know how sorry I am, Jake. Please just know how sorry I am.”

  Jake didn’t say anything. There was nothing to say. Through the drink he took straight from the bottle, he watched Billy turn and walk away.

  ^^^^

  Cal tossed the rag she had used to wipe off the walls into the sink. She rinsed her hands off that had some dried blood from where she had cut herself and went into the other room. She had put the room back together, fixed the night stand, the lamp, the table. She pushed the dresser back to the wall and moved to the door again which she kept open just a crack so she could continuously look out at Jake. He sat in the dark unity circle on a log, just sitting there, and Cal knew it was time. It had been hours, and she nee
ded to go talk to him. With her head pounding from an emotional headache, Cal grabbed the folded clothes she had set out, and walked from the bungalow.

  Jake’s fingers had no control, and the empty bottle of Jack slipped from his hand into the dirt by his boots. He lowered his face to his hands.

  “Jake.” Cal walked up behind him speaking softly.

  Jake raised his head. His eyes were so heavy and blurry. He had drank too much, and when he lifted his eyes things spun.

  “Jake, I cleaned up. I’m . . . I’m going to go stay with Rickie, okay? I think that the last thing you need is to be around me.” She received silence from him. “I want to say something that I didn’t get to say inside. I can’t apologize enough, Jake. If you want me to say I’m sorry everyday for the rest of my life, I will. Because I am. I love . . .” Cal paused as a lump crept up into her throat and her eyes began to burn. “I love you so much. I love you.”

  “Love.” The word rasped from his lips, and Jake stood up swaying as he did. He turned around and faced Cal. “Love really . . . really doesn’t matter now does it?” He blinked several times and rubbed his eyes. “You can’t stay with Rickie. It’s against the rules of this fuckin’ game. I never . . . I never gave my heart to anyone.” Jake’s head dropped. “I gave my heart to you, Cal, and you broke it.” He leaned down to her with a clenched fist. “You broke it.”

  Cal closed her eyes. She was defenseless. She had nothing she could say.

  “We’ll play by the rules of the game while we’re here. But after it’s done, and we step away from this island, I’m stepping away from you. I can’t live my life with someone I can’t trust, can’t look at. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to touch you again without feeling some sort of . . .” Jake cringed emotionally. “Some sort of disgust for you.” He looked away when he heard her cry. “I never thought I’d hear myself say these words, but fuck the other half of the money, you can have it all, I just want a divorce.” Jake stepped over the log he had sat on, and slowly stumbled in a walk. “I want you out of my life.” In a stagger, without looking back, and leaving Cal with those hard words, the last words he would speak to her in a while, Jake walked to the bungalow.