Leopold: Part Four

by Ember Casey

  A bad dream—that’s what it was. Not quite a nightmare, but close. But some of it was good—the whole dragging-my-shit-out-into-the-light part of it was maybe the best thing that ever happened to me. I can’t say I’ll ever be normal, but maybe I needed to have that time with Leo to figure my shit out once and for all.

  Leo’s life seems to have pretty much returned to normal, too, at least judging by the reports in the tabloids. It seems like his life hasn’t been affected one bit by what happened between the two of us. Nothing about any of those stories in the celebrity magazines should surprise me, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed.

  I have my new life now, though. And I’m doing the best I can.

  The paperwork on my desk is the last thing I have left to do here before I leave. I spend a few minutes writing notes about my patients before I sign my name to the final chart. That’s when I hear the rapping on the doorframe again.

  I smile, but I don’t look up. “I haven’t changed my mind, Paul. I’ll see how it goes in Oklahoma, and I’ll let you know.”

  “Oklahoma…?”

  My heart races in my chest and my eyes widen at the voice I hear. That accent. The low tone. It can only belong to one person—but I can’t hear anything else now over the pounding of my heart in my ears. I stare down at the file in front of me. I’m not sure I can look up even if I want to—I seem to be frozen in place.

  “You, dear Elle, are a very difficult person to find.”

  I shake my head to myself and set my pen down on the desk. I know I can’t look up—and there’s still a chance it isn’t him. If I don’t look up—if I don’t make eye contact—maybe I can convince myself this is some sort of hallucination.

  He sits down in the chair on the other side of my desk but says nothing else.

  The silence hangs in the air, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to be the one to break it.

  “I owe you an apology, Elle.”

  My head shakes—more because I don’t believe this is actually happening than a denial of his apology. I pick up my pen again and pretend to busy myself with the charts. Maybe if I act like this isn’t happening, he’ll get up and walk back out.

  “I never should have left you that day. It was the biggest mistake I have ever made. You were hurting—we were both hurting.”

  My eyes flutter closed and I have to concentrate on my breathing. I still haven’t looked at him—our gazes still haven’t met. If I think about it hard enough, maybe I can will him to get up and walk out again without having to speak to him at all.

  When I open my eyes again, I stare at a blue piece of paper on my desk and refuse to lift my gaze. Or to speak.

  I need to call my therapist—I seriously never even considered the possibility of Leo showing up in my life again. Ever. And I’m not sure how to handle it. I’m not sure I can handle it. If I had thought for even a single second he might try to waltz back into my life, I would have come up with something to say. Some way to tell him whatever happened between us was a huge mistake and not one I’m willing to make again.

  Now would be a good time for an earthquake, only I’m sitting in a tiny clinic in the middle of the desert in Arizona, and I’m pretty sure they don’t have earthquakes here. But even though it’s an unlikely possibility, I’m still holding out hope. Because I can’t speak. And I can’t even look at him. The racing of my heart is only barely winning over the twisting feeling in my chest—there’s still too much emotion going on for me to be able to sort it out. It would be so much better if I could just bury it again—deep at the bottom of a hole in the ground because of an earthquake seems as good a place as any other.

  “You might be happy to learn, Elle, that my—oh, what was the word you used when we were at your home? Minions?” He chuckles. “Yes, my minions have been searching for you for the past month. And attempting to learn as much about your past as they were able.” He taps his fingers on my desk—I guess to try to get me to look up at him.

  “The part you should be happy about is that they were unable to uncover anything more about your past than you already revealed to me. Whatever it is you were hiding has been covered up quite well—if the finest investigators in the world are unable to uncover your secrets, I have no doubt they’ll remain hidden. Though, I would still hope you will trust me with your secrets at some point in our future.”

  I blink my eyes a few times and shake my head again. I finally look up at him, my voice flat. “We have no future, Leo.”

  He smiles. “She speaks.” He must be able to read something in my eyes because the smile falls quickly from his lips. He stares at me for a long moment. “I’m so sorry, Elle.”

  “No. I’m sorry, Leo.” I press my lips into a line. “And I’m also sorry that I need to ask you to leave.” I motion to the door behind him. “This is a place of business—”

  “At which you are no longer employed. Why do you think I waited to come until today? Or why I came at this late hour?”

  I drop my gaze back to my papers. “I’m very busy. I have a lot of work to finish up before I go.”

  “To Oklahoma?”

  “Or wherever.” Oklahoma isn’t a given—I’m supposed to go there next week to see if the clinic there is a good fit for a short-term contract. I don’t actually hate the thought of starting over every three months. My therapist probably has a few theories about why that might be, but it seems to be working for the moment. But now that Leo knows where I’m planning to go, maybe I’ll choose a different location. And ask the employment agency to keep it private this time.

  “Is there a chance you’ll return to Los Angeles? I’ve found myself there often over the past few months, and I couldn’t help but hope I might run into you. It’s a little embarrassing, really. I find myself almost scouring the crowds, searching to see if perhaps you—”

  “Leo, do you honestly see me as the type of person who would stand outside some movie awards show to try to catch your attention?”

  His cheeks flush and he closes his eyes for a moment before returning his gaze to mine. “No.”

  “Well, at least you know that much about me.” I force a smile and motion to my papers. “It was nice seeing you. Really. But I do have some work I need to get done before I leave.”

  He splays his hands on my desk. “Take all the time you need. I can wait.”

  “Leo…” I’m sure he can hear the exasperation rising in my voice. “This is pointless—whatever the reason is that you’re here.”

  “As I’ve said, I’m here to apologize.”

  I nod. “I accept your apology. And I’m sorry, too. We both were a little—I don’t even know what to call it. Overcome. Overwhelmed. I don’t know. And we’re both sorry. We both accept each other’s apologies. And now it’s time to move on.”

  “But that’s the problem. I’m not able to move on. I’ve spent many lonely nights—”

  “Leo.” I spread my hands on my desk. “I don’t believe you’ve spent any lonely nights.”

  “I won’t lie to you, Elle. I’ve tried. Many times, with many different women. None of them compare to you, though—”

  I hold my hand up to stop him and close my eyes for a moment. I don’t want to feel the twisting pain in my chest I know is jealousy, but it’s there all the same. “I don’t want to hear this. I can’t.”

  “There haven’t…” He lets out a long sigh. “Elle, there hasn’t been anyone but you.”

  “I wish I could believe you. And despite the fact that we’re about five hundred miles from anywhere, they do still deliver mail to this clinic.”

  His brows knit together and he looks at me like I’m speaking a foreign language.

  “Magazines, Leo. Your precious tabloids. Patients love reading those celebrity rags in the waiting room.”

  “Elle, I can assure you—”

  “The last time you assured me of anything, you left me lying naked on my own bed.” My breath hitches in my chest, remembering the humiliation of that
moment. “I’m sorry. I promised myself I was never going to think about that again.”

  “I hurt you.”

  “Yes, Leo, you hurt me. But you hurt me because I was trying to hurt you. I deserved it.” I stand and motion to the door. “I think it’s time for you to leave. And please don’t come back again. Your charming stalker bullshit ends here.”

  He stands, but doesn’t move toward the door. “Elle, I’m willing to beg for a second chance.”

  I frown and tilt my head. “But it wouldn’t be a second chance. You already had your second chance. You used it to leave for a second time. I’m not about to risk a third.” I force a smile, though tears well in my eyes all the same. “My heart can’t take it.”

  “My heart can’t take another second without you, Elle. I don’t believe you understand. You’ve done something to me.”

  “I do understand, though. It hurts like hell. Believe me, I know.” I motion toward the door again. “But it isn’t ever going to heal if you keep ripping the scab off. You’re making it worse for both of us.”

  “What would it take to convince you?” There’s something in his eyes that is so familiar to me—the same pain, almost desperation I’ve been feeling, too. But I know the only way for either of us to heal is for us to be apart. We’ve proved that we can’t be around each other. That we’ll only destroy ourselves.

  “One night, Elle. Give me one night. If you aren’t convinced, I’ll leave—”

  I shake my head, interrupting him. “That’s just it, Leo. You’ll be leaving, anyway. And as much as I might want one more night with you, it isn’t going to do anything but cause us both more pain. It isn’t worth it.”

  “You’ve been saying that since I met you—”

  “No.” I interrupt with another shake of my head. “No, what I used to say was that I wasn’t worth it. I didn’t say that this time. I said that this…” I motion with my hand between the two of us. “This isn’t worth it, Leo. I’m worth a lot more than one night.”

  I’m not sure I’ve ever had that thought before—that I’m worth more than anything. Maybe I really am learning to respect myself, though I know I still have a long way to go.

  The pain I can read in his eyes is pretty much a mirror of my own. “Elle, what we had together—”

  “What we had was doomed to fail from the moment we met. It was a runaway train, condemned to crash and burn. I wasn’t in a place to give you anything more.”

  His gaze locks with mine, but he says nothing. And he doesn’t have to—the way he looks at me is enough to start the same electric energy that has pulsed inside me since the moment we met.

  I finally tear my gaze from his, closing my eyes. “Please just go.” I blink a few times before looking back over at him. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

  His gaze drops to the floor. “One kiss, then.” He looks over at me. “You are worth more than one night, Elle. Much more. But am I not worth at least one kiss before I go?”

  “Why do you have to make everything so difficult, Leo?” My brow furrows, but I know what I need to do. I also know it’s probably going to be my undoing, but I need for him to leave this time. To not return. To not keep ripping the scab off the barely healing wound he left on my heart.

  I walk over and stop in front of him. He tilts his head, trying to force my gaze to his, but I know what will happen if I look into his eyes, especially at this close range. I lift myself onto my tiptoes and press my lips to his cheek.

  I don’t even get the chance to rock back onto my heels before he loops his arms around my waist and pulls me into his body. My heart pounds in my chest, and I can’t believe what is happening to the rest of me. My poor body is setting itself on fire again, just like it has every time he’s ever touched me.

  I shouldn’t have risked it. There’s no way I’m going to do anything but melt for him now. And I know I’m going to regret every second of it, no matter how much I might also enjoy every moment.

  He dips his head to whisper into my ear. “I’m a desperate man, Elle. You have no idea what you’ve done to me.”

  Leo

  I can’t believe she’s in my arms again after all this time. These past three months—three agonizing months—have been some of the longest of my life.

  “I mean it, Elle,” I murmur into her ear. “No matter what I do, I can’t seem to forget you. You affect me as much now as you did before—perhaps more so.” God, how is that even possible? A moment in her presence and I’m already losing my mind again.

  Her breath is ragged, uneven, and I know I still have an effect on her, too. She might say we are destined to crash and burn—and perhaps we are—but I’d prefer that to the empty ache I felt in my chest when we were apart.

  “One night,” I say, turning my face slightly and letting my lips brush her temple. “We can talk. And I can take you on a proper date.”

  “The last time we had a date, you nearly burned down my house.”

  “I said a proper date. One where someone else does the cooking. One where I can spoil you with—”

  “I don’t want to be spoiled,” she says, pushing against my chest and pulling out of my arms. “I’ve already told you that I’m done with all of this.” She backs away from me.

  For a moment, I just stare at her. It’s been so long since I’ve seen her that I find myself as charmed by her beauty as I was the first day we met. Her hair is tied back in a ponytail, but several of those little curls of hers have escaped to fall around her face. Her professional clothes do little to hide the generous, beautiful curves that lie beneath. Her cheeks and neck are slightly flushed, and her blue eyes regard me with a fierce intensity. She was always so lovely when she was mad at me.

  I take a deep breath. My father and brother had much to say on my actions of three months ago, and I truly did try to move on. Between my extra princely responsibilities—another attempt at punishment by my father—and nights spent seeking out clubs and alcohol and beautiful women, I should have had plenty to distract me. I did plenty of things during that time I’d like to forget—things I wish I could take back—but no matter what I did, I couldn’t erase her from my mind. It always came back to Elle.

  “You might be done with this,” I tell her evenly, “but I am not.”

  I don’t know why such a statement should shock her—not after the things I’ve said to her, and not after my sudden reappearance in her life—but I believe I see surprise flash briefly in her eyes.

  But then she shakes her head. “At some point, you need to learn that you don’t always get what you want.”

  “And at some point, you need to learn to stop running from the things you want.”

  “You were the one who ran from this, Leo. Quite literally.”

  “And yet, I’m not the one flitting from job to job around the world. You were running from your past when I met you, Elle, and you’re still running from it now.”

  She bends over her desk and starts gathering up her things. “You’re not my therapist, Leo. And I’d appreciate it if you stopped trying to act like you understand what’s going on in my head.”

  “You’re welcome to tell me what’s going on in your head,” I say lightly. “I assure you I will listen with rapt attention.”

  “Don’t you know when to give up?”

  “No, actually, I don’t,” I say, grinning. “It’s one of my few flaws.”

  The corner of her mouth twitches, and though I don’t quite get a smile, still I feel a glimmer of hope.

  “One night, Elle,” I say. “One date. Then you can decide what you want to do.”

  She straightens slowly. “Leo…”

  She doesn’t get the chance to finish. Suddenly there’s a group of about a dozen people at the door.

  “We’ve got a surprise for you!” says the fellow at the head of the group, an older gentleman with a huge smile on his face. “A little going away present. Everyone at the clinic pitched in to—” He stops when his eyes fall on me
. “Oh, I didn’t realize you had a visitor, Elle.”

  Everyone’s gaze turns to me, but before anyone can say anything, Elle steps toward me.

  “He was actually just leaving,” she says, grabbing my arm and tugging me toward the door. Fortunately, her planned escape route for me is blocked by the cluster of her coworkers right at the door.

  “Actually,” I say cheerfully, “I can stay for a few moments longer. I didn’t realize your colleagues had something special planned for you, Elle.”

  “We got her an ice cream cake from the supermarket,” says the older gentleman. “You’re welcome to have a slice if you like.”

  “I would like,” I say with a grin. “I don’t believe I’ve ever had ice cream cake before.”

  Elle’s hand briefly tightens on my arm—a warning, I suspect—but then she seems to realize she’s lost this battle. She releases me and steps back. The older gentleman carries the cake over to Elle’s desk as her other colleagues come into the room. A couple of them are still looking at me closely.

  “I’m Paul,” says the older fellow, turning toward me and extending a hand. “Dr. Paul Schaeffer.”

  “I’m Leopold,” I say, grasping his hand firmly.

  “You’re him, aren’t you?” says one of the women. “Prince Leopold. I knew I recognized you!”

  I turn toward the woman and take her hand.

  “At your service,” I say in my most princely tone. “And what might your name be?”

  “M-Margaret,” she says, her cheeks turning red. “Margaret Richter. I work in the billing department here.”

  I bring her hand to my lips and give her knuckles a quick peck. “A pleasure.”

  “Well, I’ll be darned,” says Paul. “A real-life prince right here in our clinic. How did you come to know our Elle?”

  “That’s a rather long story,” I say. “But the short version is that Elle worked at a clinic my family built in South America.” I glance over at her, but I can’t tell whether she’s annoyed or embarrassed—though either way, I have no intention of leaving now, especially when Paul shoves a piece of cake into my hand.