Officer and the Secret (Semper Fidelis. Always Faithful.)

by Murray, Jeanette

  “I saw the test. You’re pregnant?”

  Oh. No. No, no. Please no.

  “Maybe we should go,” she whispered in Dwayne’s ear.

  Dwayne apparently didn’t hear her. “Holy shit. Tim’s gonna be a daddy?”

  “Uh…” Skye looked like a caged animal, which Tim didn’t seem to register as he picked her up and spun her around while laughing with pure euphoria.

  Veronica, meanwhile, had never felt lower in her life. Tim was in for a massive letdown, and it was her fault. “Let’s go,” she said a little louder, tugging on Dwayne’s arm. She knew Skye would let him down easier in private.

  “I can’t believe this. Did you just find out? Are you feeling okay?” His hands roamed lightly over Skye’s arms, her face, her stomach, as if checking for himself that she was okay.

  “No, I, um.” She looked over at the couch.

  “Oh. Right. Private moment.” Dwayne finally picked up on the fact that their presence wouldn’t be welcome at the fake announcement. He stood, pulling Veronica with him. “We’ll just head out.”

  As she followed Dwayne, Veronica turned to mouth, “I’m so sorry,” over her shoulder. Skye, watching over Tim’s shoulder, mouthed, “It’s okay,” and gave her a smile.

  It didn’t help much.

  As they stepped out on the front porch, Dwayne let out a whoop. “I can’t believe it. My best friend’s gonna be a dad.” He all but skipped toward his truck, the thick soles of his boots thudding on the concrete.

  “Let’s not get too excited. It could be a false alarm,” she said weakly, trying to think of the most neutral way to let him down. The enthusiasm he showed for his own friend’s—fictional—impending fatherhood was beautiful to watch, but it only made her feel that much worse for the deception.

  “Is that even possible? I think I—crap.”

  “What?” She glanced back to see Dwayne heading for the front door again.

  “Forgot my cammie blouse; be back in a sec.”

  “Oh, okay. Wait, no.”

  She hustled after him and into the front door just in time to hear Tim ask, “If the test wasn’t yours, then whose was it?”

  ***

  Dwayne immediately realized his error as his hand froze over the blouse. Neither Tim nor Skye were looking at him, still engrossed in their convo by the fireplace. He could slip out now, leave as if he hadn’t come back in.

  Except the tension had changed from elation to anger in the last five seconds, and now he felt stuck.

  “If the test wasn’t yours, then whose was it?” Tim asked, shoulders bunched beneath his shirt, hands clenched at his sides.

  Test? What?

  “That’s not my information to share,” Skye said, voice thick with regret. “I’m sorry.”

  Well, hell. He’d accidentally walked onto the set of a freaking telanovella. With as much stealth as he could manage—let’s face it, Delta Force he was not—he lifted the blouse from the back of the chair and took a few steps backward. He needed to turn around, walk forward, ignore them. But it was like watching two cars heading for each other dead-on. You couldn’t look away, despite the imminent crash.

  “No. I can’t accept that. This is too important. I need the full story. Now.”

  He couldn’t blame the guy. But he was so close to the front hall so he kept backing up slowly, carefully, each step planned with care.

  “You can’t just accept that the test wasn’t mine?”

  Tim shook his head. “If it wasn’t yours, then who’s pregnant? Wait.”

  So close. Just a few more steps and he was home free…

  “Is it Veronica? Is that why she was here with you? Is Veronica pregnant?”

  And stealth became a nonissue as he tripped and crashed into a side table, knocking over a bowl filled with keys to clatter on the floor.

  Both turned to stare at him, Skye with her eyes wide in shock, Tim with his mouth hanging open. But neither said a word.

  Veronica. Did he say Veronica and pregnant in the same sentence?

  “I’m sorry.”

  Both turned their eyes to something over his shoulder, and numbly he forced his body to shift and look as well.

  Veronica, white as a sheet, stood by the front door, looking ready to burst into tears at any minute.

  “I’m so sorry. I just… I didn’t… I wasn’t ready to… and then he thought…” She blinked rapidly, then spun on her heel and took off through the door. In some rational part of his mind, he registered the start of her engine and her car pulling away.

  “Dwayne.”

  Tim’s voice. He shook his head.

  “Dwayne, please, before you—”

  He held up a hand, still staring at the front door where Veronica had bolted through, leaving it open. He didn’t turn around as he asked, “Is she?”

  “It’s not for me to—”

  “Skye.”

  She sighed, then he felt her small hand on his back, slipping around his waist, her forehead resting on his shoulder. “Please just talk to her. That’s all I can say.”

  Her nonanswer was as good as a billboard sign.

  Oh, God. She was pregnant. Veronica was pregnant.

  And it was Blair, all over again.

  ***

  Veronica rocked on her bed, arms drawn around her knees. Though she wanted to block it out, the scene kept replaying in her mind.

  The one-second-too-late realization that Dwayne was walking back in Skye and Tim’s door. Hearing Tim ask Skye whose test it was. Watching Dwayne stumble when Tim spoke her name. The look on his face, a cross between horror and something so deeply painful it didn’t have a name.

  That was nothing compared to the feeling of her own heart as it cracked down the middle. The force of the shock of the positive pregnancy test layered with Dwayne’s reaction was just too much.

  And what was she going to do? Leaning back, she placed a tentative hand on her stomach. Nothing. It was almost impossible to believe there was something there.

  She jerked when a pounding echoed through the apartment.

  Skye wasn’t going to knock like that, and Tim was too controlled to knock like that. Madison had a key, and Jeremy wouldn’t be knocking if Madison wasn’t here. Which just left…

  Dwayne.

  Childish though it was, she’d rather sit in bed alone and mope. So she didn’t move.

  The pounding continued. How long would he go on?

  “Veronica, open up.”

  Even from the back of the apartment, she could hear him clearly. His voice boomed. He wasn’t yelling, but he meant business.

  “I will stand here all day if I have to. And eventually Madison will let me in.”

  Darn it, he was right. With a sigh, she crawled off the bed and walked to the front door. She opened and stood back as he barged in like a bull looking for a fight.

  “Talk. Now.” He stood with his arms crossed.

  “What do you—”

  “Are you? Are you pregnant?”

  “I just took the test today. As far as I understand—”

  “How could this happen?” He threw his hands in the air and headed down the hall, then spun around and came back. “I was always so careful.”

  She’d wondered too. But there was that one time… “When the condom broke?” she said weakly.

  “When the condom…” His eyes narrowed. “But you said it was fine. You said you were on birth control.”

  “I was. I am! Was. I guess.” Didn’t seem like she would need it now.

  “Then explain to me how this happened?”

  “Do I look like a doctor to you? Back off!” She immediately slapped a hand over her mouth, appalled at the anger in her voice. Then she remembered. She sure as heck had a reason to be angry. She didn’t have to censor herself any long
er. “I didn’t ask for this, you know.”

  “Didn’t you?”

  She stared at him, trying to figure out what in the world that cryptic comment meant. But he gave nothing away.

  “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do.” He crossed his arms again. “You and I are making an appointment with an OB.”

  She wanted to argue, but what was the point? She needed to see a doctor anyway.

  “If they confirm you’re pregnant—”

  “Why wouldn’t they? The test said I was.”

  He shook his head. “I am going to be in the room when the doctor says yes or no. That’s not negotiable. And if you are, then we’re getting married.”

  This, out of all, was the hardest blow. A proposal from the man she loved… out of obligation and duty. It was the worst thing ever. “That is not a good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  Because daily my heart is going to break being around you. “It’s clear to me we all need to just take a step back and reevaluate.”

  “If you’re not pregnant, then that’s a fantastic idea. But if you are, then this is just how it works. I’m not letting that kid grow up without a father. And I’m not just going to turn into some dad who sees his kid whenever he has breaks or can make a few hours. I want you and that child under my same roof. Every night.”

  Said more sweetly, it could have been a beautiful proposal. But he was so angry, so frustrated, and his words came from a place of resentment rather than affection. God, how that hurt.

  It was a null and void issue anyway, until she found out if the test was a false positive… did those exist? If so, now was one doozy of a time to get one. “I’ll ask Madison for a recommendation for a doctor.”

  “And you’ll let me know when your appointment is.” It wasn’t a question.

  When she didn’t answer, he repeated, “You will let me know. Don’t play with me on this one. I’m going with you and I’m going to hear it firsthand.”

  She watched his face, hoping for one glimpse of the lovable, playful Dwayne she’d known the past few months. The man that made her laugh, made her comfortable, made her feel like she was so special.

  It was as if he’d closed himself up in a hard outer shell that even a tank couldn’t penetrate. Something was driving his immediate, intense reaction to this news. Was it all because of her? Or something more?

  Compassion. Though she did not always agree with her parents and their beliefs… this was one she could grasp ahold of. Maybe after a show of good faith, he could relax and show a little in return. With a softer voice, she said, “Fine. I’ll let you know as soon as I can.”

  He visibly relaxed, though he didn’t drop the hard exterior. “Good. Call for an appointment today.” And he walked by her and shut the door quietly behind him.

  Marriage. A baby. A very angry, very hurt Dwayne. This was not one of her best days.

  And if there really was a baby? Would she be able to marry Dwayne, knowing he was harboring some ill will about the situation? But how could she walk away from the father of her child, a man she loved?

  I didn’t ask for this, you know.

  Didn’t you?

  The words came back to slap at her. Did he mean she did this on purpose? Or that he thought she was lying in some way? How could she convince him that she was telling the truth? That she never wanted to deceive him, never wanted to bring this on them?

  She balled her fingers into a fist and rested it against her stomach. “This was absolutely horrible timing. Just so you know.”

  Whatever was or was not in there didn’t respond. Not that she expected it to.

  ***

  Despite her reservations, she made an appointment with the same clinic she had gone into for her birth control pills. Control. Right. Failure on that one. But as it turned out, they would administer the test, but not provide prenatal care. She would have to see an actual OB for that. And the OB they recommended could not get her in for another few weeks, because she was not high risk and there were no complications health-wise.

  Her hands shook as she picked up the phone to call Dwayne.

  “Yeah?”

  Her eyes closed as she remembered the sweeter greetings. “I can go in any time for an official test. And from there I have to make an appointment with a different doctor.”

  “What’s the official test?”

  “I don’t know. I guess I have to go in and find out. It’s just a walk-in clinic, so I can go whenever I have time.”

  “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

  “Just meet me at the clinic in twenty,” she decided. “I have work in a few hours and I can just drive over after this.”

  “I want to—”

  She rattled off the address of the clinic and hung up, ignoring his call back. If he wanted to play the jerk, then she would respond appropriately. After a moment to grab her bag and a change of clothes for work, she hurried out the door. It wouldn’t shock her to see Dwayne pulling up to the apartment in an attempt to strongarm her into riding along. So she would beat him to it and leave now. The thought of the little rebellion, however small, brought a smile to her face.

  But an hour later, the smile was long gone. She sat in the passenger seat of Dwayne’s truck, a handful of paperwork clutched in her fist. And every page of it was a reminder of one thing.

  She was really pregnant.

  Dwayne stared straight ahead, the truck still turned off, still parked in the lot of the clinic.

  “Now what?” she asked quietly.

  “Did Madison talk to you about the apartment?”

  “What?” Not at all sure what that had to do with anything, she tried to catch up. “Our apartment?”

  “About Jeremy moving in with her, or them getting their own place.”

  “Oh.” The thought brought on another wave of panic. Where would she live? “No, she hadn’t mentioned it.”

  He tilted his head from side to side, as if stretching his neck, but said nothing more and wouldn’t turn to look at her.

  “Okay then.” Slowly, she opened the passenger door. “I’ll just head to work now.”

  “Be safe.”

  It wasn’t quite the endearing good-byes he’d left her with, but it was still a reminder that he cared. Or was it just the baby he cared about? She decided right now to stick with positive thoughts.

  She pulled into work an hour early and went up to Skye’s office. Nobody else was in there, luckily, and she pulled the door shut and stepped into the storage room to change. When she came back into the office, her cousin was sitting at her desk.

  “Hey. How was the doctor?”

  “If you mean, am I pregnant? The answer is yes.”

  Skye’s face revealed nothing. “How do you feel about that?”

  Veronica started to laugh. Because really, how could she begin to explain how she felt about it? But the laughter soon turned into hiccupping sobs and she buried her face in her hands, knees coming up under her chin.

  Skye waited until she finished her emotional outpouring before slipping an arm around her shoulder. “It isn’t the end of the world. I know it’s not quite what you grew up knowing, but here in the States it’s not uncommon. You’re an adult, and a smart woman. You’ll get it figured out.”

  “Smart. Right. I don’t even have my GED yet.” The reminder brought another hiccup from her.

  “A GED is a good piece of paper to have, but it’s not an indication of how smart you are. And I think you know that.” Skye brushed a lock of hair back from her forehead. “Need the night off?”

  “No.” Veronica took the tissue her cousin handed her and blotted her face. “I still have an hour before my shift. I’ll pull it together. Plus, I need the money now, if I have baby things to buy.” And extra health care costs. Day care once the baby was here. More food, bottles, diape
rs… Oh, God.

  “Dwayne will help, I know that. Don’t stress about the money. He’s going to step up, I know that.”

  “Right now I think I would rather take a bribe from Satan himself.”

  Skye smiled a little. “I know what you’re saying, but cut him a little slack too. He just found out he’s going to be a father. Maybe he’s not handling it well, but he might have his reasons. With a little time to accept the idea, things could turn around. Have some faith.”

  It made sense. This wasn’t just a surprise for her, but for Dwayne as well. She could give them both time to figure how things would work out. It wasn’t too much to ask.

  “You’re right. I need to be patient. I’m not exactly handling this perfectly myself, so he’s reacting on emotion like me.”

  “Good.” Skye stood and rubbed Veronica’s shoulder. “Stay up here as long as you need. Come down when you’re ready.”

  “Thanks, boss.”

  Skye smiled and left her alone.

  Somehow, she would figure this out. She wasn’t sure how, but she would.

  Chapter 22

  He gave himself a day to calm down a little, then called, ready to apologize. She hadn’t answered. Then she’d sent him a text message saying she was able to get an earlier appointment for the doctor and could he meet her the next morning? After clearing it with his CO, he agreed to swing by and pick her up in the morning.

  But when he not only showed up, but came into the exam room with her, she wasn’t all that thrilled about it.

  “Do you have to sit there? Can you not wait out in the hall?”

  Dwayne shook his head. Like hell he was going to go through that again. He’d stayed out of Blair’s way the whole time she was playing him, thinking OB visits were some sacred woman thing. But not this time. At least not the first appointment.

  “Could you… I mean, if she needs to examine me, could you at least not watch?”

  Her knees were bouncing, her hands clenched around her legs. And she wasn’t looking at him. Hadn’t looked at him since they’d walked through the doors of the OB office together.

  He was still angry at the situation. But with her, he couldn’t figure out yet where he stood. Skepticism was high up on the list. As was confusion. But as much as he wanted desperately to comfort her, keeping his distance right now was the only way he could think to safeguard his own heart.