I drove to the local jewelry store. When I walked to and from work, I would often peer inside the windows at the necklaces. I had a thing for anything sparkly, hence the glitter. I parked and walked into the shop. It was fairly busy and surprisingly, there was only one employee working. I waited patiently for my turn at the counter.
While I waited, I looked at the display. I didn’t want to buy just any shiny bauble. I wanted something that I would never have thought to buy for myself on any other day. I wanted to buy something that showed my love for myself.
There was one necklace that caught my attention right away. It was simple—a teardrop-shaped diamond without any setting. I knew it would settle perfectly against the red material of my dress. I couldn’t look away from it. Never in my life had I owned something so beautiful.
I had to admit that there were plenty of times when I would imagine a lover surprising me with a jewelry box. Buying jewelry for myself was always something I pushed out of my mind. I thought it was something that a man needed to give me as a romantic gesture.
Today was about breaking all of those old ideas in my head and accepting that I was a modern woman living in a modern world and I could buy myself a necklace if I wanted to. And I really, really wanted to.
When the store clerk finally made his way over to me, I smiled up at him.
“May I see that one?” I asked. I pointed to the necklace beneath the glass. My fingertip left a smudge on the pristine surface.
“Ah, lovely choice,” he said.
I read the name on his name tag. Lars. Everything about him was neat, from his straightened tie to the perfect perch of his glasses.
“Thank you, Lars,” I said.
He reached into the display and pulled out the necklace on a long velvet tray. He lifted it from the tray and held it up for me to see.
“It sparkles in this light,” he said.
“It’s beautiful,” I replied. I could imagine myself walking down the aisle of a palace with that necklace on.
“Could I try it on?” I asked.
“Alright, but you have to stay right by the counter,” Lars said.
He handed me the necklace. I lifted it up to my neck. The clasp closed easily.
I heard a subtle cough and glanced in the direction of it. A man, who had his arm looped through a woman’s, was gazing down at my thighs. I realized that when I lifted my arms to close the clasp of the necklace, he must have had quite a show. I tugged the hem of the dress down and turned to look in the mirror.
As I was gazing at the shiny teardrop against the silky material of the dress, I noticed that the shop got very quiet. All the chatter of a few minutes before had stopped. I glanced around to see what was happening. In the middle of the store, a young man was down on one knee.
“Celeste?” he said. He gazed up at her, his lips slightly parted, his eyes widened, and his cheeks flushed.
“Yes?” she asked. Her eyes were shining in the light of the jewelry store. Her dainty hands were clamped together tightly and trembling just a little.
No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t force myself to look away. I knew that what I was seeing was only going to make me feel worse, but it was just one of those moments that held me prisoner.
“You are the most amazing woman in the world,” he said. He held the ring box up toward her. I could see the glint of the diamond. It was perfect. “Will you make me the happiest man in the world? Will you marry me?”
My heart dropped. My eyes misted, and shamefully, I felt my jealousy rocket straight to the surface.
“Yes, of course I will.”
Celeste laughed as Jake took the ring out of the box and then slid it onto her finger. It was a perfect fit.
I leaned heavily against the glass counter. I no longer cared if I was smudging it. The newly engaged couple kissed. Everyone in the store clapped. At the last minute I remembered to clap as well. The couple walked out the door of the jewelry store hand-in-hand. That was it. That was my proposal—my life, walking out the door. I was supposed to be the one with the ring on her finger, the one with a future husband on her arm. I took a deep breath and tried to settle my nerves.
I love myself, I chanted in my mind. With each step I took toward the door, I repeated it. I was determined not to let anyone or anything stop me from enjoying the day that I’d planned for myself. When I reached the front door of the jewelry store bells began ringing. I smiled. My luck was turning around. I had obviously won something.
Chapter 5
I turned around to find out what it was that I’d won and found myself looking down the barrel of the security officer’s gun.
“Ah! Put that down right this second!” I said.
“Ma’am, take off the necklace,” the security guard said.
Only then did I feel the weight of the teardrop diamond against my skin again. I was horrified as I realized that they must have thought I was stealing it.
“Oh, this is all just a big mistake,” I said. “I just forgot to take it off.” I reached up to release the clasp on the necklace. When I did that, the skirt of my little red dress scooted right up along my thighs. I reached down to tug it back into place.
“Ma’am! Please keep your hands where I can see them!” the security officer said.
“It’s not like I reached under!” I said. “Really!”
“Just give us the necklace,” Lars said. He had walked out from around the counter. His fingers twitched nervously against his trousers as he stood behind the security officer.
“I don’t want the necklace. It was a mistake. I’m just having some trouble getting it off,” I said.
I reached up to try to release the clasp again. Once more my skirt rode up along my thighs. I felt heat rise in my cheeks as the security officer watched my every move. “Could you help me, please?”
Lars sighed and walked around behind me. I was absolutely mortified as I felt him release the clasp. He snatched the necklace off of my neck.
“I knew you weren’t going to buy anything,” he said. His voice had an accusing tone as he glared at me. “I see your kind all of the time. You always want to try on the expensive jewelry, but you never buy it.”
I could feel the pressure of everyone in the room staring at me. No one was clapping for me, that was for sure.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Are you pressing charges?” the security guard asked.
“No just let her go,” Lars said.
I sighed with relief and then waited until the security guard put his gun away before I walked out the door.
After that embarrassing scene, I was ready to head right back home and lock myself away in my apartment. I never wanted to see another Valentine’s Day. Having a gun pointed at me was not exactly romantic.
Then I thought about the readers of my blog. I knew that if I gave up on reclaiming Valentine’s Day, it wouldn’t just be me that I was disappointing. Okay, so there had been a bump in the road. I could handle that.
Next on my Valentine’s Day list, was going to the candy shop to buy the most expensive chocolate I could find. After the encounter at the jewelry store, I was ready for the pick-me-up chocolate often gave me.
I drove a few blocks to a tiny shop that I knew. It was a window I often looked in as well. Especially around Valentine’s Day the owner of the shop put out such mouthwatering displays that I would consider it a treat just to go look through the window. Today I wasn’t just going to look through the window. I was going to go inside and enjoy a guilt-free delicacy.
The store was teeming with customers when I stepped inside. The owner of the store, Helga, who I knew from the laundromat, was rushing back and forth behind the counter to fill all of the orders she had. I took my time looking through the various displays. I was really impressed with how much work Helga put into her designs. But none of the chocolate I saw was what I wanted. Today was about splurging.
I paused in front of the counter and smiled at the people coming and
going. Finally Helga made her way to me.
“How can I help?” she asked. She had a thick German accent which made me absolutely certain that the chocolate I was about to eat was going to be delicious.
“I would like your most expensive chocolate,” I said.
The woman smiled, forcing her cheerful red cheeks up even higher. “Perhaps you would like a sample of it?”
“No, I just want whatever it is. I will buy it,” I said. I reached into my purse and pulled out my wallet. The woman looked me over, her dark eyes searching me intently.
“Let me tell you about it,” she said.
“Why?” I asked. I placed my wallet down firmly on the counter. After the way I’d been treated at the jewelry store, I didn’t have the patience for another person looking down on me. “I have the money to pay for it. Are you refusing me service?”
“No, not at all,” she said. She made no move to get the candy I had requested.
“Is it my size—is that it?” I asked. “Are you against selling candy to a bigger woman? Because I’ll have you know that what I eat and don’t eat is strictly my business.”
“Ma’am, please,” the woman said. “I don’t mean to insult you.” Her thick accent made her words a little difficult to decipher. “I just think you may want to make a different choice than the most expensive chocolate. There are many other candies for you to choose from. You could sample all of them if you like.”
“That’s right, just feed the angry fat woman,” I said. My anger was spilling over into the tone of my voice. I could barely stand still as my muscles tensed and my chest tightened with fury. I’d had enough of people trying to ruin my Valentine’s Day. “Just give me the chocolate.”
Something about the way I was looking at her must have startled her enough to make her take action. She turned and walked over to a small display case high above the register. She reached into the case and took out a small gold box. The box was wrapped in gold cord. The tag on the cord was gold as well. Someone had gone to a lot of trouble to make the packaging look very expensive. She carried the box to the counter.
“This is the most expensive?” I asked.
“This is the most expensive,” she said. Her eyes were cold as she looked at me. All of her cheerful demeanor was gone. I felt satisfied that she had learned not to mess with me. I handed her my credit card to pay for the candy.
“No returns, no refunds,” she said. The sharp edge to her voice made me certain that she meant it. I ignored her tone and took my credit card back.
Chapter 6
I pulled out my phone and took a picture of the chocolate to add to my blog later that evening. Then I tugged at the gold cord to open the box. At this point I had the attention of everyone in the candy shop. Since it was Valentine’s Day there were quite a few people in the shop to buy last-minute gifts. I didn’t mind the audience. I wanted to savor my first bite of the most expensive chocolate in the store. Who said I couldn’t buy my own chocolates on Valentine’s Day?
I lifted the gold lid off the box of chocolates. Inside the box in a black tray were only five long thin bars of chocolate. I lifted an eyebrow at the small amount but assumed that it was because they were so decadent. I glanced up at the woman behind the counter. She was still staring at me with those cold eyes. I smiled a little at her as I picked up the bar of chocolate and took a bite of it. I was a little surprised when it was crunchy. It tasted good, but it wasn’t what I expected.
“No returns, no refunds,” the woman said. She pointed to a sign that said the same thing beside the register. I took another bite. This time it was even more crunchy. Curious about the strange flavor I lifted up the gold tag to look at the ingredients.
“This can’t be right.”
“Grasshopper,” the woman said.
“No,” I said.
“It’s the most expensive chocolate in the store.” She sighed, and I couldn’t help but wonder if she was secretly amused.
“No!” I nearly screamed as I reached for a napkin. I wiped at my tongue desperately with the napkin.
“Gross,” someone muttered.
“Maybe chocolate was a bad idea,” someone else said.
“Get out!” the woman behind the counter said. “You are losing me customers!”
I stumbled back from the counter. I still couldn’t believe that I had just consumed grasshopper parts covered in chocolate.
“Why?” I asked. I left the box on the counter and turned toward the door.
As I hurried out of the candy shop, I heard a smattering of laughter behind me. Yet again I had managed to completely embarrass myself. If I had only listened to what the woman was trying to say instead of being stubborn, she might have warned me.
I felt sick to my stomach as I walked away from the candy shop. I had planned to go to lunch, but I no longer had an appetite. As I walked along the sidewalk back to my car, I caught sight of couples scattered all over.
On one corner there was a couple holding hands. Across the street beside the diner a young couple was locked in a passionate embrace. As I headed into the parking lot, I noticed an old woman pushing a cart overloaded with items from the grocery store. I watched her for a moment as she struggled to get the cart past a dip in the sidewalk.
“That’s my future,” I said, a bit overwhelmed by a feeling of sadness.
Then I hurried over to help her, but before I could get there, a little old man with a cane walked over and beat me to it. He grabbed the handle of the cart and gave it a firm shove.
“My hero,” the woman said. Her voice was filled with the same giddy sweetness that any teenage girl’s would be.
“Anything for the most beautiful woman in the world,” the man said. As the two walked off together I was incredibly touched by the moment that they’d shared. Even at their age, they found romance.
“What’s so wrong with me?” I asked.
No one was nearby to answer. I shook my head and walked over to my car. In my mind I knew there was nothing wrong with me. I was an average woman of a slightly larger than average size with an average apartment. I was nothing special, but there was nothing in particular that was wrong with me.
I decided a reboot was in order. I stopped at my favorite lunch truck for a bite to eat. The lunch truck was decorated on the outside with dangling hearts and shiny cutouts of cupids. The owner of the truck was leaning out the window watching for customers.
“Hi, Charles,” I said.
He smiled at me.
“What are you doing here, Samantha?” he asked. I had done his laundry a few times in exchange for some custom-made meals.
“Looking for a bite to eat,” I said.
“Girl, it’s Valentine’s Day. You shouldn’t be paying for your own food,” Charles said. “Where’s your man?”
“My man?” I asked. “Am I not allowed to enjoy Valentine’s Day without a man to drag me around on his arm showing me off?”
“Oh now, wait a minute,” Charles said. He had laughter in his voice as he shook his head. “I don’t need to be schooled in women’s lib and all that, but in that dress there’s no way you should be alone.”
I smiled a little at his compliment. “I have decided to show myself some love today. Part of that is enjoying one of your corned beef sandwiches.”
“Ah, you haven’t ordered one of those in so long! I’ll make it special for you Samantha,” he said. While he was preparing the sandwich I adjusted my dress. I wasn’t used to wearing something so revealing out in public. I liked to dress for my figure, but usually I made more modest choices about what I wore.
“Here you go,” Charles said. He handed me my sandwich wrapped in white paper. “I hope you enjoy it, Samantha. Happy Valentine’s Day.”
“Thanks, Charles. Happy Valentine’s Day to you too,” I said.
I carried my sandwich over to a nearby bench. It was the same bench that I always sat on when I had lunch from the lunch truck.
Chapter 7
When I
attempted to sit down on the bench today, though, I faced a bit of an issue. My little red dress was a little too little for me to sit in. I tried to sit with my knees angled, but the skirt of the dress still pulled up too high. A man walking his dog down the street had stopped to watch. I shot a glare in his direction. He didn’t seem to mind. Instead of feeling like a bombshell, I was feeling more like a streetwalker.
“Move along,” I said. I waved one hand at the man to shoo him down the sidewalk. He lowered his eyes and walked away quickly. “That’s right, I didn’t wear this dress for you. I wore it for me. I wore it because I am a beautiful single woman who deserves to dress up once in a while.”
I meant my words only for the man who was quickly retreating, but when I turned to sit back down I was faced with a gaggle of college-aged guys who had lined up at Charles’ truck. I stared at them for a moment and knew with certainty that I was not going to sit on that bench.
With a sigh, I took my sandwich back to my car. I was about to resort to eating it in the car when I decided to head over to the park instead. The next part of my mission was to go for a horse-drawn carriage ride.
When I reached the park, the rolling green grass was dotted with picnic blankets. Lovebirds were nesting on them as if it was the most original idea that anyone had ever thought up. I tried to find it sweet. I tried to feel happy for the couples. But secretly, I was hoping that the birds circling above their baguettes would leave behind a few drops of reality.
I walked up to one of the pagodas with a picnic table. The table provided enough cover for my short skirt. I began savoring the sandwich that Charles had made just for me. It might not have been chocolate or jewelry, but it was just as enjoyable. I finished my sandwich, and when I walked over to the trash, I noticed that there was a horse and carriage only a few feet away.
“Perfect,” I said. “Things are already looking up.”
I walked up to the driver, who was reclining in his seat with his hat over his face.
My Valentine’s Day (Single Wide Female) Page 2