by H. Q. Frost
"It's a shower, Magdelena. Now shower for me."
My eyes dart to his.
"Touch yourself," he elaborates.
The neglect lessens and I pick up the soap, squeezing it into my hands. I move painfully slow, caressing my body and acting like it's him touching me. I've done this so many times it's easy to give him what he wants. When I open my eyes, he's sitting up in the bed, looking like he's holding himself back from joining me.
Lifting my leg, I prop my toe on the stool and push my hand between my thighs. His eyes roam my body, not stopping in one spot too long. A moan escapes as I dip two fingers inside myself and finally he stands, walking toward me.
"Turn around." His hand pushes against my back when I do and I slightly bend.
A finger pushes inside me and I whimper, trying to keep myself on my feet. When he retracts, I almost stand up but something nudges against my opening again.
"Callum?" I question, not getting an answer.
Unsure what it is, I relax until a large knot like object is pushed inside me.
"Callum, what is that?" I ask, already panting from the foreign object.
Still not getting an answer I breathe deeply because the object is big, almost feeling like an hourglass shape. He pulls the knot out and groans as he eases it back inside me.
"Oh shit," I moan as it stretches me.
His hands shift and I'm spun to face him, almost slipping but he has control of my body. No longer holding the object, my pussy holds it inside me and he props my leg over his shoulder, his mouth latching onto my clit. I gasp and grip his hair at the same time he starts to move the object again. Incoherent words string together and I drop my head back so the shower rains over my face as he sucks on my clit and fucks me with the unknown object. I open my eyes and look down, seeing this isn't a fantasy and this is Callum projecting this pleasure onto me and I lose it.
"Oh god," I moan loudly, gripping his hair for leverage as I burst into trembles.
He holds me steady through my orgasm. When he withdraws the object I see it was the shampoo bottle and a shiver rolls through me. He could show me everything I've ever wanted.
"Relax," he says calmly and his hands clamp to my shoulders, kneading my tense muscles. "Relax," he whispers at the back of my ear before releasing me.
A moment later he shampoos my hair and I can't help but chuckle because he just fucked me with that bottle. By the time we finish rinsing each other off, the water's gone cold and I can't take it anymore. I jump away from the stream and look around.
"Towels?" I ask, shivering.
He points and rinses his hair once more before turning off the water. I retrieve towels from a drawer across the room then walk toward him.
"This is extremely impractical," I mention handing him a towel and watch him smirk.
"A little bit," he comments rubbing the towel over his wet hair.
Worry as to where we go from here starts to make me drift away, but by the time I wrap the towel around myself and I've put a huge gap between us, he approaches.
His arms pull me against him and he kisses my jaw. "Are you hungry?"
"Yes. Are you?" We're not strangers but I can't help feeling as if we barely know each other.
"Yes," he states and lets me go, sensing I'm out of my element.
Sex with Kip was always fairly quick and afterward we moved on to something else. There was never a desire to linger or a room full of haze I didn’t want to leave.
When he moves to the area that's supposed to be the kitchen, I awkwardly shift through the clothes in my backpack. Pulling out underwear, I set it with the clothes I plan on wearing. I stare at the garments and take a moment to feel the pounding of my heart.
"No," Callum says and his arms wrap around me from behind. "No clothes." He reaches for the pile, shoving it back into my backpack.
"I can't hold this towel up the whole time." I chuckle.
"Fine." He pulls it off me and tosses it across the room. "Come help me."
"Callum." I watch him move back toward the counter with the towel around his waist. Looking down at my naked body, I tense up.
"Magdelena," he calls my name without looking back. "Help." He looks over his shoulder but noticing my expression he turns around and crosses his arms over his chest. "Turn around," he says, so I do before I curl into a ball to hide from him. "Under the bed. Bag." I reach under the bed and remove his bag. "Open it. Grab a shirt, then get over here and help me."
With my head down and my back to him he can't see my face so I smile, biting my lip while I reach into his backpack. Callum doesn't wear t-shirts…but I find one and quickly pull it on.
"It's cold, Callum," I point out as I approach him.
"The faster you help, the quicker we can get into that bed and use our body heat."
It's too surreal and I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this. Am I going to suddenly wake up? I think that would be for the best, that none of this happened. But the tender area between my thighs is telling me this isn't an amazing dream. My pussy actually got better treatment in an hour than it's gotten in the past four years.
"What are we making?" I stand next to him and almost stumble when he grabs me and moves me to stand in front of him, in between his arms.
This isn't Callum. He's not this man. Panic starts to turn my stomach that someone's taught him to be this way and she's at the Carbon Estate waiting for him to return.
"Leek soup." I continue cutting the potatoes. "Are you going to help?" Stopping to hand her the other knife, I chuckle. "Slice the leeks, Magdelena."
"I don't want to cut you," she says hesitantly.
"You won't cut me." I grab my knife and continue. My reach is longer so I'm not in her way. Sure this would be easier if I gave her space, but we are here to be with each other. To live the moments we never did.
"We'd go faster if I wasn't pinned between you and the counter, boxed in by your arms." Such an astute woman; when will she pick up that I want her as close as possible?
"I don't want to give you space. Until you fly out of here I am your space, your air, your decision."
Her regret.
I cut while she chops and it only takes a moment for us to get a rhythm that flows while working in tight quarters. The celery is next when I finish before her. I lift a piece to her lips and she wraps them around my finger tips. My dick stirs and I grunt, pushing my mouth to her neck. This has never been my life but affection is something I missed out on. I didn't know a thing about it until my son, and while the forms are on two completely different levels, I appreciate both equally.
"Is there someone at home?" she asks as we drop the contents into a pot.
I believe I understand what she's asking. "Someone at home? Such as?"
Turning around, she's facing me and is still pinned between me and the countertop.
"Are you in a relationship?"
"You think I would be unfaithful?"
"Oh god, Callum," she snorts and rolls her eyes before ducking under my arm to get away from me. "We were engaged and you were still texting Evelyn whatever the fuck her name was. Yes, I one hundred percent believe you'd be unfaithful."
Gripping her wrist before she gets any farther, I tug her against me. "That was stupid. And after realizing it, I swore I'd never do anything like that again. I'm sorry." I kiss her stiff lips. "There is no one at home. And there hasn't been anyone since you." Upon my release, I allow her to move away, but she doesn't. Her arms slide around my waist.
The woman staring up at me has completely crushed me and memories of that start to surface. Starting with Kipper.
"I have to get the soup on." I pull away, immediately scolding myself for allowing that to taint this weekend.
The relationship between her and Kip is one that fucks with my thoughts daily. Before I arrived to warn her, I knew about her and Kip, yet I still went. The entire flight I kept thinking she needs to learn he's deceptive on her own, yet I showed up to help protect her. Demented
ly enough, I still would have fucked her the day he proposed. She's a bad addiction.
"What do we do while the soup cooks?" She looks around.
Pushing away the thoughts that hide in the shadows I grab her hand and guide her to the table.
"Read," I tell her and sit down, pulling her to my lap.
She shifts until she's comfortable and wraps her arms around my neck, her lips pressing to my flesh. "Are you cold?" she asks, making bumps spread over my flesh from the feel of her warmth.
"No. Don't move." I wrap my arm around her and grab my book with the other hand.
"Through the Children's Gate?" she questions my choice.
"Just listen." I kiss her shoulder then start from the beginning.
The timer beeps for our soup but I don't want to stop reading. Before burning our food, I lift her off my lap, pour it into the blender and look to see she's continued reading.
Swiping the book from her hands, she tries to grab it but I hold it above her head.
"You've already read past this point. I saw where your page was marked." She jumps, trying to reach it.
"Do you not enjoy my narrative?"
"I love you reading to me, but it's a good book."
"I know. That's why we're reading it." I stop the blender and pour two bowls.
When we sit at the table, she lifts her feet and rests them between my legs on my chair. I wrap my hand around her cold toes and stare at her a moment until she catches me.
"What's wrong?" She smiles.
"Nothing," I insist while holding a smile on my face.
There is a world between us that's wrong. It's always been wrong and I've never wanted something to be right as much as I do now. It's too late, and living in regret is the hardest thing to deal with. And I deal with it daily.
When we're fed, I get her back into the bed and read chapter after chapter until she's asleep. While she naps, I study her face, caressing my fingertips over her skin. It's hard to say if I could be this man every day. I want to say I could, for her. There's nothing I oppose and I quite enjoy her youthful happiness of a woman in love. But she's a hurricane and I crave order and oppression when it comes to women. While I've learned from Magdelena, I am not cured from what made her leave in the first place.
I allow her to sleep almost two hours before her body heat grows too hot. Removing the covers, I'm faced with her bare ass while she sleeps soundly in nothing but my shirt. My hand smoothes over the soft skin and my dick extends to touch her. Bringing my fingers to my lips, I wet two before sliding them between her thighs. I rub back and forth, working my way between her folds. When I push a finger inside her and find she's wet I replace my hand with my dick, sliding into her from behind. She's gasps herself out of sleep then goes completely still.
"My Pleasure," I whisper over her shoulder to remind her she's with me. My hips flex again, pushing into her as far as I can and a quiet moan slips out with her breath. "If I could keep you here forever…" I grunt and thrust harder, deeper this time while wrapping my arm around her ribs to hold her in place.
"Tell me," she says, her hand gripping mine and she locks our fingers.
"I'd fuck you every morning and make love to you every night. You'd be my complete undoing, Magdelena." I kiss her neck and feel her start to tighten around me.
"Callum," she moans my name and it puts me on the brink of my own orgasm, but this time she will come first.
I close my eyes and push my lips against her flesh, wanting to be as close to her as physically possible. Moving our hands, I cup her tit and bite down on her shoulder. The sensation of sex is always a pleasant mind fuck. It's been so long since I've fucked anything other than my hand, but I know what I'm feeling right now isn't the usual perception of sex. We're on a different level. A level I've never achieved with any other woman. And while I know Magdelena is held at a higher standard than anyone I've ever bedded, it's still terrifying she became what she did. The love of my life. A woman I couldn't forget or let go of even when it was appropriate. If only I could have made this compromise back then I would still possess her love. She may not like the tyrant I am, but she can handle me. I understand now what she couldn't handle was my inability to give much of anything back to her except tyranny. I have to get out of my head and get into the moment because there is no hope for us once we leave here tomorrow.
"Magdelena," I grunt with the inability to hold back anymore. "You're everything," I tell her as my orgasm goes off like a bomb within me.
A euphoric blast that I would happily die from. But when she screams out with her own orgasm I fight through the haze in my head to keep rocking my hips and give her what she needs. Male anatomy is damned when her body vibrates against mine and her tight pussy milks me. I want more, over and over. In this moment, I'd give her every drop I'd ever have to give if I could.
We catch our breath and I hold her against me, almost allowing words she deserves to hear release but it'd be cruel to give her the only thing she ever asked from me now. She needed it then, not now, because now I can't do anything for her. I will soon be dead and there is no hope for her even meeting Cole. I can't offer anything except the connection we just felt.
This time I sleep. When she turns in my arms and kisses me, my body begins to relax, and when I rest my head on her chest, I drift off. The only woman to ever hold me like this has been her and we've never done it quite like this. When I wake, I'm still in her arms and she's lifelessly staring at the ceiling.
"Magdelena." I quickly shake her as I shift to look into her face.
A smile slips onto her lips and her fingers push into my hair. "Did you sleep well?"
"Are you alright?" I ignore her question because her vacancy was alarming.
"I'm fine." Sitting up, she kisses me. "You okay?"
"Fine," I respond, fully knowing she's not fine but she won't let me pry into her brain, and I probably don't want to.
The yurt has an uncomfortable silence floating through the room like an apparition but I give her space and try to focus on paperwork I brought with me for the flight. She stands in the middle of the room stretching, doing some sort of yoga and I can't keep my eyes from her for too long. Her legs slowly spread into splits and she gracefully lowers herself to the ground. I want to comment, let her know her lithe moves are impressive and sexily erotic, but I don't want to disrupt her because she appears as if she’s forgotten I'm here.
"Callum," she says minutes later and I quickly look up. Her legs are spread on either side of her and her torso is laying on the floor in front of her. "Will you read to me?" Her eyes flick to mine and I move for my book like a dog going for his bone.
I read while she continues her stretches and meditation but a headache is threatening to ruin the atmosphere that's shifted from trouble to calm. The headache is because in the back of my mind I can't stop damning myself. When I finish the book, it's well into the night and I haven't had contact with her in three hours. I move across the room for water but she stands and stops me. Her hands grab my shoulders as she rises to her toes.
"Thank you." With a smile I get a kiss.
Not wanting to, I move for water and she sits at the table. I prepare us something to eat which Qara put together for me, only leaving the bare essentials to finish the meal.
"This looks good." Her mood is completely different from the despondent state she was in when I woke. Perhaps I imagined it.
"Tsuivan," I respond and look down at the plate of noodles, not hungry but I force myself to eat.
"Our schedule is a bit off." She chuckles and glances at the clock on the wall.
"I'm sorry." I try to smile but she looks up like I just asked her to leave.
"Can you tell me about Cole?" she asks after a few minutes of awkward silence.
Reaching forward, I take the hand she's not eating with and look into the face of a woman that deserves more than this life. Instead of offering apologies that won't change anything, I talk. I tell her everything I can think of abou
t Cole and her face glows while we talk about our children, comparing them. I want to know Poppy, I want to see her in the flesh, hold her, and tell her even though I didn't know about her I love her, but I'm too weak to do that. My circumstances will not be changed no matter what I do and a circumstance like this isn't the kind that requires making peace before death. It would only confuse my girl and cause more problems for Magdelena.
We talk until three then move to the bed and continue talking. I've never had such an effortless conversation and again I'm damning myself. She was there for so long. The life we could have had has its claws in me, slowly pulling me apart. I'm a tortured man that only did this to himself.
As our time together comes closer to the end I hate myself and what I have to do. While I was able to be what she needed in the time we spent together, it has to end. It won't be hard because I am the monster she's always known, only now I appreciate what's mine. For our time together, she was mine.
"Do you think there's any way." She pauses and looks up into my face while I keep her at my side in this tiny building they call an airport. "Any way at all that we could arrange a meeting between the kids?"
"Magdelena—"
She wraps her arms so her hands sit on my shoulders. "Please, Callum. Please. I'll do anything."
"Would you die for it? Because that's what will happen," I quietly snap at her.
"They're twins. They're siblings, Callum. They don't even know each other."
"Along with a mother and father," I snarl.
"As terrible as that is, it's not the same as not knowing the other soul you shared a womb with."
"It's torture for them, Magdelena. They cannot have a relationship." While I'm pissed, I don't want her to move away but I also won't give her hope. I can't or it would only be cruel of me.
"But when all this is over…"
"No. They live in two different worlds. Cole will be a duke and Poppy will know nothing of that world."
"Don't you realize how important this is?"
"I also know how important your life is." Placing my hands on her hips, I want to pull her against me but I push her back, severing the connection.