What's Your Number

by Karyn Bosnak

  As Cristin, Patty and I take our seats, I look over at the two of them and laugh. They’re both staring at Colin with their jaws dropped open. “Damn,” Cristin mumbles as I nudge her back to reality, “I need to come to the East Village more often.”

  “No shit,” Patty agrees.

  Colin looks at Nate. “Hey, mate,” he says politely, holding out his hand. “How’s it goin’?”

  “Swell, mate,” Nate replies mockingly. After shaking Colin’s hand, he looks around the bar. “I’m impressed,” he says, nodding favorably. “I’d expect an Irish bloke like yourself to be pulling pints in a grimy pub somewhere. This place is as clean as a whistle!”

  Hearing Nate utter the line from the Irish Spring commercials amuses Charlie and Teddy. As they both look away to keep from laughing, I kick Nate in the shins and glare at him. He turns back to Colin. “Hey, just kidding, man,” he says quickly. He then glances at his T-shirt. “I see you got your colors on tonight, though.”

  Unsure of what to make of Nate’s comedy routine, Colin laughs. “Do you do shows around the city?” he asks, in a cheeky sort of way. “Or are ya strictly an open mike kinda guy?”

  “You’re funny,” Nate says.

  Colin raises an eyebrow. “Not as funny as you.” He then turns to me. Leaning forward on the bar, he reaches over and takes my hands in his. “Paired with the accent, the green T-shirt makes the ladies go crazy.” Looking at me, he winks. “Right, Del?”

  Since I can tell that Nate is none too pleased that Colin’s holding my hands, I smile and nod. “Right,” I say proudly. And then I laugh inside.

  Serves Nate right.

  Despite the uncomfortable beginning, the evening proceeds rather smoothly. The bar is hopping, the atmosphere is cozy, and the drinks are stiff. As the six of us chat and have a nice time, Colin works and pops by every once in a while to say hello. After about an hour, Nate, Charlie, and Teddy begin chatting up two girls sitting next to us at the bar who have been drooling over Colin all evening. They keep asking them why they’re wasting their time on a bartender when the place is filled with other single men. Much to Cristin’s, Patty’s, and my amusement, the girls don’t answer the guys and couldn’t care less what they have to say. They keep staring in Colin’s direction, watching him shake, pour, serve, shake, pour, serve. When Colin sees us laughing and realizes what’s going on, he shrugs and looks at Nate. “I told you, man. It’s the T-shirt. You might want to get yourself one.”

  By the time I finish my second martini, the girls finally realize that Colin isn’t interested in them and turn around to talk to Nate, Charlie, and Teddy. After about a half hour of this, Cristin and Patty dismiss themselves to go to the bathroom, leaving me alone at the bar. Looking around, I see that things have slowed down and glance over to where Colin’s standing. When I do, I catch him looking at me. Instead of looking away from me, he winks and smiles. He then makes eyes at Nate and the two girls, hinting that he’s flirting with them. After quickly assessing the situation, I wave it off. Colin walks over.

  “Your boyfriend seems keen on those two,” he whispers, once again reaching out to hold my hands.

  “No, he’s just being friendly.”

  “No, seriously, Del,” he insists, “he’s into the one on the left. I can tell. He keeps touching her knee.”

  I turn around and look again. When I do, Nate looks up. Seeing that Colin is once again holding my hands, he gives him a funny look.

  “How’s the drink?” Colin asks when he does.

  “Magically delicious,” Nate replies. He then shakes his head and goes back to the girls.

  “He’s almost laughable,” Colin says to me, as we both turn back to each other. “I mean, can’t the guy come up with something a little more clever?”

  “I’m sorry,” I say, apologizing for Nate’s behavior. “I think he thinks he’s being funny.”

  “Funny?” Colin laughs. “Is that what that is?” Colin shakes his head, shakes him off. “Hey, listen,” he then says, changing the subject, “I gotta talk to you about something.” The tone of his voice is serious. “I got—”

  Colin suddenly stops talking when another bartender accidentally bumps into him. Realizing this isn’t the place for a serious talk, he looks over to where a curtain is hanging near the other end of the bar. “Hey, come meet me back there, will you?” I look to see where he’s motioning to and nod.

  After telling Nate that I’m going to the bathroom, I make my way to the other end of the bar. When I arrive and begin looking around for Colin, I’m startled when an arm darts out from behind the curtain and pulls me behind it. “Sorry,” Colin laughs, seeing me jump. Looking around, I that we’re in some sort of small supply room. The curtain is the door.

  “What’s up?” I ask.

  “Well, I got news,” he says, smiling. “I got the part. All My Children. They called this evening right after I hung up with you.”

  “Really?” I’m shocked that he seems so happy about it; I didn’t think he wanted it that badly. “So you’re gonna take it, then?”

  “Yeah,” Colin nods, “but it starts really quickly. I’d have to leave Monday and—”

  “Wait,” I say interrupting him. Leave? “What do you mean leave?”

  “It’s in LA.”

  LA? I’m speechless. I knew the audition was there, but it never crossed my mind that the show was actually taped there. I don’t want Colin to move.

  “What’s wrong?” He senses my unhappiness.

  “Well—”

  Suddenly a bar back walks through the curtain and squeezes behind us. After quickly grabbing the few things he needs, he walks back out. As he does, Colin steps in closer to me to give him more room. Looking down, I realize that Colin’s body is all but touching mine and can just make out the outline of his perfect six-pack abs through his T-shirt. Without thinking, a small smile creeps across my face. As soon as it does, I close my eyes and become embarrassed because I’m sure he saw me. Thinking I’ve been busted for checking him out yet again, I slowly look up. When I do I’m relieved, surprised, and amused to see that Colin isn’t paying attention to where my eyes are looking because his own are staring at my tight clingy shirt, staring at the outline of my breasts. As I begin to giggle, Colin realizes that he’s been caught looking for a change. As a tiny smile appears across his face, he looks up.

  “So . . . what’d you think?” I ask as our eyes meet.

  “Do you really wanna know?” he whispers, stepping in even closer to me. He puts his hands on my waist and, for a split second, both of us stop smiling. Suddenly becoming incredibly nervous, I look away.

  “Actually, no.”

  Colin’s hands slowly fall from my waist. The two of us stand in awkward silence for a moment until Colin clears his throat.

  “So uh, about the job,” he says. “I can tell you aren’t too happy for me.”

  “No, I am,” I say, looking back up. “I’m happy that you got it, but I just . . . I don’t know . . . I don’t want you to move. You’ve kind of become one of my best friends.”

  Colin smiles. Obviously touched by what I’ve said, he pulls me closer to him and wraps his arms around me. “I don’t want to move either, but Del, I’d be an idiot to pass this up.”

  “Yeah, I know,” I say softly. “Just think about what you’re doing though, and remember—don’t take the part if you think you’re settling.”

  “I will.”

  “I better get back,” I say, pulling away. Without looking at him, I turn and walk away. While doing so, I feel an electricity come from behind me. It’s like a pull, coming from Colin. I can’t deny that I feel something for him, from him. We’ve gotten to know each other so well, and—

  Oh, forget it. It’s all so silly really.

  I’ve had two martinis, that’s all. I can’t think straight.

  After making my way back to my seat, Colin makes his way back to the bar. Looking a bit more serious than he has all night, he gives me a half-smile
and then looks away. Unsure of what that means, I turn back to Cristin and Patty and try not to think about it.

  Around two o’clock or so, after we’ve all been generously served, the bar gets ready to close. As the place clears out and as the guys settle up the bill, Cristin, Patty, and I go to the bathroom. On our way out, we’re surprised to discover that Nate, Charlie, and Teddy aren’t around. Nor is Colin, for that matter. Assuming that they’re waiting outside, we head toward the front door. As I pull the door open, I hear yelling and look up. When I see Colin and Nate being held back from each other by Teddy and Charlie, my heart drops. Nate’s lip looks red and puffy, like it’s been punched, and Colin looks angry but unharmed. Suddenly Colin yells at Nate. “You’re a fucking liar!” Nate doesn’t respond. I quickly approach.

  “What’s going on?” I ask nervously.

  “What’s going on,” Nate says, “is that your idiot friend here is insane.” As a small drop of blood forms on his lip, I reach up and touch it.

  “Oh my God,” I say, quickly turning to Colin, “did you punch him?”

  “You’re damn right I did!” he answers angrily. His temper has gone wild. After explaining something about Nate walking one of the two girls who were sitting next to us all night outside, he says something about how he saw Nate kiss one of them so he came outside and punched him. I think. The truth is that I can barely understand what he’s saying. He’s so angry and talking so quickly and I’m in shock that he punched Nate.

  He punched Nate.

  Oh my God! Mortified, I cover my face with my hands.

  “Del, he’s crazy,” Nate says, after hearing Colin’s explanation. “I walked outside to get some fresh air and he followed and started shit with me.”

  “Yeah, I did follow you outside,” Colin says, “but not to start shit with you. You brought this on yourself.”

  “Listen dude,” Nate says, pulling away from Charlie. “The bottom line is it that you don’t like me and you never have because you wanna screw my girlfriend.”

  Screw my girlfriend? What? I uncover my face and look at Nate, and then at Colin.

  “No,” Colin says calmly as he pulls away from Teddy, “I don’t like you because I care about your girlfriend and I don’t like seeing jackasses like you fuck with her.” As Colin stares at Nate, and Nate stares at Colin I become worried.

  “You guys—stop,” I say, walking in between the two of them. “This is stupid.” I turn to Colin. “I’m sure this was just a misunderstanding.”

  “’Twas no misunderstanding,” he says quickly. “Del, your boy here’s an asshole.”

  Hearing this, Nate lets out a laugh. “Yeah, I’m the asshole,” he then says sarcastically, “not the maniacal import here.”

  “Oh fuck off, man,” Colin says, narrowing his eyes.

  “Stop it, both of you!” I demand. I then turn to Nate. “Do you mind giving Colin and me a second?”

  Nate looks at me for a moment, and then slowly shakes his head. “Yeah, fine.” As he walks away, his friends follow. As soon as Colin and I are alone, I turn to him. I’m so angry that I can barely speak.

  “You punched my boyfriend?” I yell. “What are you, twelve?”

  “No, but—”

  “No, but nothing, Colin! You know, you hate it when Nate makes all those stupid jokes to you, yet you just went and backed up everything he says. You punched him. In a bar.”

  “Outside a bar,” he mumbles.

  “Oh what’s the difference? Regardless of where it happened, what a great way to prove to him that you’re not a drunk fighting Irishman!”

  “Hey, I don’t have anything to prove to that guy!” Colin huffs. After sighing heavily, he turns and walks away from me. I can tell that he’s angry at me for being angry at him.

  “Colin, wait,” I say, following him. I feel bad for yelling. “I didn’t mean that, but you just can’t go punching people!”

  “Gee, thanks for the advice, Delilah,” he yells without turning around. He won’t even look at me. After turning the corner, he stops walking and turns around. “Wait, why are you yelling at me? I’m not the bad guy here.” Colin waits for my reply, but I don’t say anything. The truth is, as much as I hate to admit it, I don’t know if I believe him. Realizing I’m not going to answer him, he lets out a tiny sigh. “Oh, I get it,” he says. “You don’t believe me, do you?”

  “No . . . I just . . . well . . . maybe you saw something you wanted to see.”

  “What’s that s’posed to mean?”

  “It means that I know there’s a connection between us, Colin. I feel it and I’m assuming you do too.” Colin doesn’t deny this, so I continue. “I mean, Nate’s right—you haven’t liked him since you met him. I don’t think you’re giving—”

  Suddenly out of nowhere Colin walks up and kisses me. There’s no other way for me to explain it except to say just that. One minute I’m talking and the next minute he’s kissing me. He simply just walks over, takes my face in both of his hands, and starts kissing me.

  Once I realize what’s happening, my knees give out. As I fall backward, Colin slides his hands from my face to my back and holds me up. As he pulls me in closer, as his kisses become deeper, I melt into his arms. His lips are so soft and so moist, and his body is so strong and so lean. This is all so perfect, and then I suddenly . . . I suddenly . . .

  I suddenly realize how wrong this is.

  “I can’t do this,” I say, pulling myself away from Colin.

  “I know . . . break up with him,” he says, pulling me back.

  “No, not Nate,” I explain, “you.” I back up again. “I can’t be with you. Colin, this is what I’m talking about. Me and you. What just happened. This is why I don’t believe you. I’m sorry, but I think you saw what you wanted to see.”

  “Del, if anyone is imagining things here, it’s you, not me. You’re imagining this Nate guy to be the one because he was your first love, because he’s got what you dreamed you’d have one day, and because if he is, then you won’t up some stupid limit you’ve set in your head.”

  “That’s not why I’m with him, not anymore,” I explain. “I mean, he came back for me, that has to mean something.”

  “Jaysus, Del! Are ya that easy?”

  Am I that easy? “Pardon me?”

  Colin shakes his head. “That’s not what I meant. I meant just because someone came back or you is no reason to be with them; just because someone loves you is no reason to love them back.”

  I look away; I’m so confused. “Colin, even if there was no Nate, if something were to ever happen between us it would end miserably and you know it. You’re not good at relationships. You admitted it to me.”

  “Yeah, you’re right, I did. I’m bad at relationships—I’m not gonna lie. And maybe you and I would be a mistake, but maybe we wouldn’t. All I know is that if we don’t try, we’ll never know.” Colin stops talking and waits for a response, but I don’t say anything.

  Suddenly I realize I’m scared. I’m scared of him. I scared to take a chance. Even if Nate wasn’t in the picture, I don’t think I can do this again. It’s not so much going to the number twenty-one that scares me; it’s the thought of Colin breaking my heart. The thing about Colin is that, looks aside, he’s a wonderful person and I’d fall head over heels in love with him if I haven’t already, there’s no doubt about it. And there’s also no doubt that he’d eventually leave me. There’s no way anything between us would go somewhere. I’m done with flings. I want the next thing—I want the real thing. There’s a possibility that I can have that with Nate. I’m not going to throw that away and take a chance on something that might not work out.

  “Listen, my timing might be bad,” Colin continues, “but my intentions are good.”

  “Good intentions aren’t good enough, Colin,” I say quietly. “I need more than that.”

  “I can’t give you more than that.” Colin hesitates. “Listen, if you don’t want to take a chance on me then fine, I’ll learn t
o live with it. But I can’t stand by and watch you be with this guy.”

  “Then don’t,” I say. “Go to LA. Leave. Now you have more of a reason.”

  Hearing this, Colin slowly takes a step back away from me.

  “Sorry,” I say quietly. I then turn and walk away.

  Chapter seventeen

  *Beep*

  Delilah, it’s Mom. Wedding bells are ringing!

  Make sure you check in at the Waldorf by ten o’clock this morning. After that, meet all us ladies in the lobby at 10:30 for our spa day at Bliss. Don’t be offended, but I booked you a little more time than the rest of us—your eyebrows really need a waxing, as does your upper lip. I sure hope you’ll be done with everything by the time rehearsal starts at six.

  I was thinking . . . maybe you should tell Nate to skip dinner tonight and just join you tomorrow. You’ll be red from being poked at all day and it’s probably not a good idea if he sees you like that. Okay, see you in a jiffy!

  *Beep*

  Hey, it’s Daisy. I can’t believe it’s wedding time! I’m dying!

  Don’t worry about picking up your dress from Saks—they’re going to deliver it to the hotel with mine. Can’t wait to see you!

  wedding bell blues

  friday, june 17

  The night of the fight, when I walked away from Colin, I didn’t know what to do. Well, I did in a way. I knew not to cry, but that was about it. I was fighting back tears. It was painful to walk away from him. It almost hurt, I swear. I’ve grown really close to him in the last few months, and the thought of possibly never talking to him again felt like a stake through my heart. To make it worse, when I turned the corner and saw Nate standing alone waiting for me, when I looked him in the eye, I felt a pit in my stomach. He looked guilty.

  Neither of us said anything to each other in the taxi on the way home that night. We both just sat there in silence, holding hands but looking out opposite windows. Things have been awkward ever since. When we got back to Nate’s, he fell asleep quickly while I stayed up rehashing the night in my head. I kept trying to remember if I saw something odd between him and either of the two girls sitting next to us, but I couldn’t. The truth is that I barely paid attention to them. I barely paid attention to Nate. The only person I paid attention to was Colin.