Bewilder (The Kaleidoscope Album Book 2)

by Oakley, Bryce

  "I don't know what exactly went down between you and Sabrina, but I do really like your house now," Zoey said, leaning back in the chair she was sitting in.

  "She wanted something serious and I didn't, and then we kind of realized our lives weren't going in the same direction," Domino said, trying to sound cavalier about the Cliffs Notes version of the breakup.

  Billie raised an eyebrow. "That's bullshit," she said.

  Domino smirked. "It's not," she countered.

  "You watched my breakup with Vero. You comforted me through the whole thing. And then you saw us when we got back together," Billie said.

  Zoey and Meg stayed silent, watching with wide eyes.

  "Yeah, and?" Domino asked, her brow furrowing.

  "When we broke up, it almost seemed impossible that we'd ever get back together," Billie said, her expression stern. "And then we got the fuck over ourselves and put on our big girl pants and realized that whatever struggles we had, we were going to face them together."

  "Okay, that's very sweet that you and Vero got your fairy tale ending, but it's not realistic," Domino said.

  "And why not?" Billie asked. "What are you so afraid of?"

  “Don't do this. Don’t psychoanalyze me,” Domino said, shaking her head.

  "I know you're afraid of fucking it up. I'm constantly afraid of fucking it up, too. But being with her and being afraid of messing things up is so much better than not being with her and not knowing how great it could be," Billie said.

  Domino scowled at her sister.

  "Sabrina cares about you. I saw it at dinner that night. She really loves you. And I can tell that you love her, too," Billie continued.

  Domino swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. Billie, as usual, had read her like a book. Nothing had made her thoughts of Sabrina subside.

  She had tried to distract herself with clubs or attempts to flirt with women, but her heart just wasn’t in it.

  Was that love? Or was it the constant ache in her chest at the idea of not having her by her side?

  "Why throw that away just because you're scared?" Billie said, her voice softening.

  "But our paths," Domino said lamely.

  "Growing is what people do, Dom. There's no avoiding it. Put your pride aside," Billie said.

  Domino blinked. For once, a Billie lecture was inspiring her. She had to go find her. She stood up. She could be in Pasadena in an hour.

  "Wait. She's in New York," Zoey cut in. "She left today."

  "What?" Domino said, her eyes widening as her heart began to thump faster and harder in her chest. "She's in New York?"

  Zoey held up her phone. "Well, I just texted her to check in and see where she was in case you wanted to Love, Actually the situation,” she explained. "But she's already in New York. Apparently she texted you about it last night."

  "Oh my god, my phone," Domino said.

  Meg smacked a palm to her forehead in realization.

  "Wow, they put her up at the Knickerbocker and there's a huge bow on the building," Zoey was reading, showing Billie and Meg a picture that Sabrina had apparently sent.

  Domino ran up the stairs into her bedroom to get her laptop. Thank god for Apple product syncing. She flipped it open, waiting for the messages to load.

  Sure enough, there was a message from Sabrina.

  Sabrina: I'm going to NYC tomorrow for a thing. I'll be there for Christmas. It would mean the world to me if you joined me. We can watch the ball drop on NYE! From inside. NYC seems too ducking cold for the whole Time’s Square thing.

  Sabrina wanted her to come to New York?

  Domino pulled up an airline site and searched for tickets to fly out that afternoon. For an exorbitant amount of money, there was one open flight that left at 5pm, but with the time difference, it would mean she got in around 1am. She sighed, but booked it without a second thought.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Sabrina

  "Have yourself a Merry little Christmas ," Sabrina sang to herself, pouring the last of the bubbly into her glass. She had the windows open and was watching snow fall outside.

  She had the television on for background noise, set to some peaceful nature documentary on National Geographic.

  It was late, around 2am, but it was only 11pm for her internal clock. She had spent the evening unpacking her suitcase, arranging it nicely in the dresser and closet, practicing her quick speech about organizing your kitchen cupboards –– that was the first segment set for the day after Christmas –– but she mostly spent a lot of time staring out the window.

  The room was gorgeous and huge, but she hardly had the will to appreciate the foyer, the massive bathroom with multiple sinks, the giant jacuzzi tub with an extraordinary amount of complimentary bath salts, or the luxury linens on the bed. It even felt like a hassle to unpack her suitcase and arrange her toiletries, which was always something that she looked forward to doing.

  She had even ventured out to be a tourist for a few hours, taking in the Rockefeller tree, the ice rink, the buildings that had light projection shows and blasted "Carol of the Bells."

  Mostly, she couldn't stand how crowded it was.

  She had always spent Christmas alone, but that had never bothered her before this year. Maybe because she could envision what she would be doing if Domino was there. Domino would know a cool spot to go for coffee or a drink, and would know some locals who would take them to a hole in the wall diner that was secretly delicious.

  It would be so much easier to get over the hurt and rejection of Domino if she didn't like her as a person so much.

  She took a deep breath, idly watching the television. It was listing myths about butterflies.

  She crossed her arms, holding the fancy hotel bathrobe tighter around her as she sipped her drink, watching the show.

  "Never touch a butterfly's wings. The oils of your skin dissolve the wax on a butterfly's wings, and without that wax, the scales of their wings will fall off, and then they can't fly," an entomologist on the television was explaining.

  "Wow, is everything a metaphor?" She groaned, reaching for the remote to turn the television off.

  She sat down on the bed stared at the screen of her phone, willing Domino to text her.

  A knock on the door shocked her into almost dropping her phone. She walked through the room and stood on her tip-toes to look out the peephole.

  She gasped in surprise seeing Domino standing there, looking nervous.

  She opened the door, leaning against the doorway. "What are you doing here?" She asked in a whisper.

  "I'm an idiot," Domino said, her shoulders slumped in defeat under an oversized coat.

  Sabrina quirked a brow. "I'm listening," she said, not making a move to let Domino in yet.

  Domino shifted her weight between her feet. "I came as soon as I realized," she said.

  Sabrina blinked. "And just what did you realize?"

  "I... love you. I really, really love you," Domino said, raking a hand through her hair.

  Sabrina stepped aside, holding the door open for Domino to come in. Her head was spinning with confused thoughts and emotions.

  Domino walked into the room, pacing through the entry and bathroom area. "And maybe I'm too late," she said, scrubbing a hand over her face. "And I know this isn't some Hallmark movie. Or Love, Actually. And I know it's rude to just come waltzing in here at two in the morning and demand your attention, but I couldn't go another second without you knowing."

  "You could have just called?" Sabrina said, still stunned. She stood against the back of the closed door.

  "I threw away my phone at the beach," Domino said with a grimace. "It's a long story."

  "Wait, how did you get up here? I didn't think they'd just let anyone walk off the street into the elevator," Sabrina said, watching Domino pull off her jacket and continue pacing.

  "I bought a room for the night," Domino said, exasperated. “And then I flirted with the front desk woman until she told me what room you were in.�
� She blinked, her eyes wide, trying to seem much more innocent than she was.

  Sabrina couldn't help the laugh that came out. "You did what ?"

  "I had to tell you," Domino said, her voice cracking with emotion. She stopped, staring at Sabrina, biting her lip. "Am I too late?"

  Sabrina shook her head, something warm filling her chest. "No," she said quietly. "I'm just... I'm just shocked that you're here and that you're saying this. Am I dreaming?"

  Domino reached out and pinched her arm.

  Sabrina yelped, holding her arm away from Domino and rubbing at the spot. "I guess not," she said.

  She exhaled and walked past Domino to the minibar. She opened a $10 bottle of water and took a sip, then let out a sigh. "Okay, I'm ready for you to say it again."

  Domino grinned, following her into the sleeping area. "Sabrina Meloy, I love you," she said, her eyes wide in earnestness and vulnerability.

  Sabrina smiled. "I love you, too," she said.

  Domino reached for her and they were in each other's arms before Sabrina could comprehend what was going on. Domino. Here. With her. On Christmas.

  She clutched Domino tighter, afraid to let her go.

  "Wait, you love me, but what does this mean for the future?" Sabrina said, pulling back enough to look in Domino's face. She lifted a hand to brush Domino's messy hair out of her eyes.

  "As long as the future is with you, I don't care what it holds. I want to grow together. And I want to support your growth and I want to be there for your achievements," Domino said, her eyes glossy with tears.

  "You do?" Sabrina asked, blinking in surprise.

  "Yeah, like landing a week-long segment on a national morning show? That's amazing," Domino said with a wide smile. "I'm so proud of you, and I want to keep being proud of just how far you're going to go from here."

  Sabrina hugged her again, tears slipping down her cheeks as she tucked her head in Domino's shoulder.

  They stayed that way, holding one another with a kind of fervent intensity, as though they were afraid the other would slip away at any moment.

  Eventually, Sabrina sniffled and wiped at her eyes. "Well, I'm glad to hear that, because my five-year-plan is now like my one-year-plan, and you would not even believe what my five-year-plan holds now," she said, laughing.

  "I can't wait to hear all about it," Domino said, wiping one last tear from her cheek with the pad of her thumb. "After we get some other things out of the way first, of course."

  Sabrina smiled mischievously. "Oh yeah, what did you have in mind?"

  Domino held Sabrina's hands, pulling her backwards onto the bed. "Sleep." She kicked off her boots and held out her arms for Sabrina.

  "No way," Sabrina exclaimed. "I'm too excited that you're here to let you sleep."

  "Well, there are many ways to use all that newfound energy you have," Domino said with a comic, exaggerated wink.

  "Oh? What did you have in mind?" Sabrina said, laughing as she climbed on top of Domino.

  Domino took Sabrina's face in her hands. "Well, first, I'd really like my girlfriend to kiss me. Then, we can see where that leads," she said, her voice low.

  And Sabrina was all too happy to oblige.

  Epilogue

  One year later

  Christmas music played through the small alarm clock on the nightstand. The mattress creaked under Domino’s shifting weight as she wrapped an arm around Sabrina’s middle.

  “You set an alarm?” Sabrina asked groggily, rolling over to bury her face in Domino’s chest.

  Domino smiled, kissing the top of Sabrina’s head.

  It had been one year since she had flown to New York City on a whim and confessed her feelings to Sabrina. Putting her pride aside had been terrifying — honestly, she wasn’t sure if she was doing the right thing until the moment Sabrina said that she loved her back.

  Hearing those words made all of her worries dissolve. No matter what came their way, they’d get through it together.

  And they had. Over the past year, The Shrikes had put out an album and gone on a promotional tour that lasted weeks.

  At the same time, Sabrina was working on her first book, which was published in the fall.

  She had become a regular guest on Pia, a popular daytime talk show led by a lesbian comedian, for all things home organization and decor.

  She had a regular guest column in Decor magazine.

  Domino was unbelievably proud of the leaps and bounds that Sabrina had taken. What made her even more impressed was the calm, confident way that she dealt with every next step.

  Domino had been paralyzed by success, but Sabrina had been propelled forward.

  “Baby, focus,” Sabrina said. She was propped up on an elbow in front of Domino.

  “Merry Christmas, darling,” Domino said, nuzzling Sabrina’s neck.

  Sabrina giggled. “Merry Christmas,” she said. “Can you believe it’s been a whole year since you stalked me all the way to New York?”

  “Stalked?” Domino said, feigning shock.

  Sabrina smirked, raising her eyebrows as if daring Domino to truly argue with her.

  “I don’t believe you thought it was a crime at the time,” Domino said. She wrapped an arm under Sabrina and flipped her onto her back, climbing on top of her.

  “Think we have fifteen minutes to celebrate?” Domino said.

  Sabrina laughed. “There is no way I am having sex with you in your childhood bedroom.”

  “I don’t see why not,” Domino said, nipping at the soft skin of Sabrina’s neck. “I brought the harness and everything.”

  “I would never accuse you of not being prepared,” Sabrina laughed as she dug her nails into Domino’s shoulder blades.

  A knock came on the door, “You two up? I need Domino’s help,” Billie yelled through the door. She was suddenly reconsidering persuading the whole family to stay at Mom and Dad’s for the night so that they could all celebrate Christmas together again.

  “My help? With what?” Domino called, climbing off of Sabrina and grabbing a pair of sweatpants off the ground. She pulled on the joggers as Billie opened the door.

  “Sorry, Sab,” Billie said with a giggle, “Gotta steal your woman for a bit.”

  Sabrina was holding the sheets up to her neck in modesty. “I’ll allow it,” she said with a grin. “I have to help your mom with the mashed potatoes anyway.”

  Domino leaned down and gave Sabrina a peck on the lips — given that Billie was standing at the door, she kept the kiss sweet and rather chaste.

  As she walked out of the door, Billie burst into planning mode. “Okay, so Zoey and Meg will be here in about an hour, and then we can set up in your bedroom to go live around noon,” she said, as though they hadn’t already planned out every last detail and moment of the live Christmas songs set they were playing on social media around midday.

  “Girls,” Mom said urgently from the kitchen as they walked into the living room.

  “Good morning, Merry Christmas,” Domino said, giving her mom a gentle hug. “Where’s coffee?”

  A baby screamed from across the room, startling her.

  “Coffee is already made, just grab a cup. And get a cup for Sabrina and Vero, too,” Mom said, kissing the top of her head.

  Holly appeared at the entrance to the kitchen, holding baby Zara on her hip. “Is the bottle warm yet?”

  Mom handed a baby bottle to Billie, who took Zara out of Holly’s arms. “Why don’t you go change your blouse?” She offered politely, holding Zara on her hip.

  “What? Why?” Holly said, then sighed as she saw that spit up was crusted all along her shirt. “Oh, fuck.”

  “Language, dear,” Mom called after Holly, who was stomping off down the hallway.

  Vero walked into the room. “Coffee?” She asked.

  Mom sighed. “Am I a beverage dispensary?” She said with a huff.

  “You sure do look cute with a baby, baby,” Vero said with a grin, kissing Billie on the cheek, then kissing
Zara’s chubby cheeks.

  “Girls,” Mom repeated, looking to Domino. Domino was leaning against the kitchen counter, sipping from a mug of coffee as the chaos unfolded around her. Sabrina was so lucky, getting to stay in bed for a bit longer.

  “What’s wrong?” Billie asked, shifting her weight from one foot to the next to gently rock Zara as she assisted the baby with a bottle.

  “There’s been a mistake,” Mom said.

  Sabrina walked into the room, wearing a fluffy bathrobe with the Knickerbocker hotel logo embroidered on the chest. “What’s that smell?” She asked, her brow furrowed.

  “What smell?” Domino asked. “Wait, what mistake?”

  “Something is burning?” Sabrina said, looking around with a confused look on her face. “No one else smells that?”

  Mom sighed. “That’s what I meant to tell you girls,” she said, her jaw clenched in frustration.

  Domino sniffed the air. Sabrina was right. Something was burning. She looked around the kitchen, then opened the oven door.

  “Oh god, Mom, what’d you do?” She asked.

  “Well, Mrs. O’Reilly came by unexpectedly the other day, but I had such a mess everywhere, what with wrapping and gifts. I tucked some things away in the oven, and... well...” Her voice trailed off and her chin began to quiver as though she was close to tears. “I burnt your gifts.”

  Sabrina burst into hysterical laughter. “So this is where you get it from, Domino,” she exclaimed, near tears herself with laughter.

  Vero tried to hide her laugh behind her hand, but her shoulders shook with silent giggles.

  “Mom, it’s okay,” Billie said, reaching over to pat Mom’s arm soothingly while still rocking the baby. By the strange expression on her face, it was clear to Domino that Billie was trying not to grin.

  Domino chuckled. “Mom, it happens to the best of us,” she said, putting an arm around Mom’s shoulders. “What were they?”

  Zoey walked through the front door without knocking, Meg in tow right behind her. “Why are there burnt shoes on the front porch? Is this a weird Christmas tradition I don’t know about?” She called out.