“ Its called attraction, Dana said completely seriously, “and I dont think distance is the answer.
“ What is the answer?
“ Ordinarily, Id suggest a date, Dana said, “but Im here on assignment and my schedule, as you might have noticed, is constantly changing. I cant very well take you out to dinner when Blair might decide she wants to hop a plane to Colorado.
Emory shrugged. “Youre right. Bad timing. She collected her purse and grabbed her coat out of the closet by the door. “Besides, I dont date women.
“ Yet.
“ You are remarkably sure of yourself. Emory thought she should probably be annoyed, but she wasnt really. Part of her wanted to stay exactly where she was. Actually, part of her very much wanted Dana to kiss her. And that was why she knew she should leave.
“ Im not sure of anything where youre concerned, Dana said, moving closer. She took Emorys coat and held it for her. When Emory turned to slip her arms into it, Dana pressed against her back, rubbing her hands over Emorys shoulders and down her arms. She put her mouth close to Emorys ear. “But I know the last thing I want is distance between us. She skimmed Emorys hair back with the tips of her fingers, exposing her neck, and kissed her softly behind the ear. “If you stay here, we can get to know each other better.
Emory shivered and closed her eyes, glad that Dana couldnt see her face because she wouldnt be able to hide what that kiss had done to her. She leaned her back into the front of Danas body and felt Danas hands tighten on her arms. Danas breath blew hot and fast against her skin. “Youre breaking the no-touch rule.
“ I know, Dana whispered, her voice husky. “Im sorry. I stood it as long as I could. God, you smell good.
“ Its Ivory soap. Emory laughed shakily.
“ Dont ever wear anything else. Dana slid her arms around Emorys waist and slipped her hands inside Emorys coat, pulling Emory more tightly against her.
Danas hands rested on the sweater covering Emorys abdomen, and Emory could easily imagine those bold and possessive hands on her skin. She couldnt remember ever wanting to be kissed more than she did at that moment, and she worried that she was allowing herself to be attracted to Danas attraction to her. Dana was, after all, infuriatingly charming and relentlessly sexy. “I dont do one-night stands.
“ Thank you for telling me that, Dana said quietly, turning Emory to face her. She put her hands back inside Emorys coat, resting them on her waist just above her hips. She ran her thumbs up and down Emorys abdomen. “But I dont want to go to bed with you.
“ You dont? Emory had a hard time focusing on anything except the fiercely intent expression in Danas eyes and the pleasure that spiraled from beneath Danas hands into her depths. She was horribly, terribly aroused and frighteningly close to letting something happen she would regret. And she couldnt seem to stop.
“ No, Dana murmured. “This is what I want.
As Dana leaned closer, Emory knew she was about to be kissed, but the reality was nothing like she had expected. True, Danas mouth was soft and hot and certain, but Dana was surprisingly patient. She took her time, teasing Emory with the tip of her tongue, waiting for Emory to kiss her back. Caught off guard by the gentle invitation, Emory responded, stroking over the surface of Danas lips and tongue because it just felt so damn good. She clasped a hand behind Danas neck and sank into her, moving against her in a way completely foreign to her and so completely right. She pulled away from the kiss and struggled to control her out-of-control body. “I dontI cant
“ Shh, Dana said as she caressed Emorys cheek. Her hand trembled. “Were not. Its okay. She kissed her again, slowly, and drew back. Her chest heaved and she fought to steady her breathing. “I was thinking we could start simple. You know, with a kiss or two.
Emory nodded dumbly, trying to envision kissing herjust kissingwithout bursting into flames. Well, shed never been afraid of a challenge. “Okay. Yes. That sounds reasonable.
Dana grinned. “Reasonable.
“ You suggested it, Emory said hotly. “So dont look so damn supercilious.
“ Hey, Dana said, raising both hands in surrender. There was no reason Emory had to know she wanted her so badly she ached all over. She needed to get a grip on her runaway libido just as much as Emory needed time to get comfortable with hers. Then they could have a nice, adult interaction with no one getting disappointed or hurt. “I agree. Reasonable is good.
“ You agree? Emory asked suspiciously.
“ I do. Absolutely. How about I walk you back to your hotel. You can tell me all about tissue engineering on the way.
“ All right, but that doesnt mean Im coming back here later.
“ I promise. No expectations. Dana just had to figure out how to convince her body of that.
* * * * *
Blair pulled the shades and stripped by the side of the bed. Slipping under the sheets, she turned on her side to face Cam. She stroked Cams hair and kissed her cheek. “Valerie ordered everyone out, and me to bed.
“ And you listened? Cam teased.
“ I could hardly disagree. Blair snuggled closer, drawing one leg over Cams thigh. “How are you feeling?
“ Better. The Motrin kicked in. Cam urged Blair down into the position they normally slept in, with Blairs cheek on Cams shoulder, and kissed her forehead. “Both of us could stand to get some sleep.
Blair smoothed her hand over Cams chest and down the center of her abdomen. “What did Valerie need to see you about?
Cam hesitated, her natural instinct not to worry Blair surfacing even as she knew what she had to do. What Blair needed her to do. “We got a little bit of a break. We might have a lead as to Mathesons whereabouts.
“ What will you do if you find him?
Blairs tone was casual, but Cam felt her tense and the hand that had been playing over her abdomen grew still. “Well go after him.
“ We?
“ The last time I shared our intelligence, someone warned him and he slipped through our net. Cam couldnt keep the fury from her voice. “Thats not going to happen again.
“ But I thought that was because Valeries handler was working with Matheson and tipped him off. Theres no way that can happen again.
Cam sighed. “No, that particular leak has been taken care of. But I cant trust that he was the only one who wanted Matheson to succeed, and what happened yesterday afternoon makes me suspect Matheson has more friends on the inside than we realize.
Blair sat up so she could look directly into Cams face. And so that Cam could see hers. “I understand, I really do. I know he has to be stopped. I know how badly you want to stop him. What she had to ask nextopening herself, revealing herselfwent against every instinct and everything she was, but she did it without hesitation. Cam meant that much to her. “I need it not to be you who goes after him. Please, Cam. Send someone else.
“ Ah, baby, Cam murmured. She wanted him dead, but she could live with him behind bars. What she couldnt live with was him free to come after Blair again or help orchestrate another savage attack that could cost hundreds, possibly thousands of lives. Matheson and everything he represented was the reason she did what she did. In many ways, fighting men like him made her who she was. Valeries voice played in her mind. You cant keep doing this to her, Cameron.
For as long as she could remember, Cam had relied on her duty to give her a sense of purpose and meaning, even in the darkest moments. After Janet had been killed and shed been tormented by guilt, when shed felt dead inside and disconnected from everything in her life, her duty and Valeries humanity had been her only salvation. She was not that person any longer, and she had other duties, perhaps even a greater duty, beyond that to her country. “We have no evidence that he has a large force with him. Hopefully Ill only need a small team to apprehend him. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Ill put Savard in charge.
“ And you wont go?
Cam took Blairs hand. “I wont go.
Blair bowed her head and kissed Cams fingers. �
��Thank you.
Cam shook her head. “Dont thank me. I love you. You let Stark and her team protect you, and I know how much you hate it. You do that because I need it.
“ It doesnt feel like the same thing.
“ It is. Cam threaded her fingers through Blairs hair and drew her back down beside her. She kissed her. “Its exactly the same thing.
“ This love thing is really hard, isnt it? Blair murmured.
Cam laughed. “It is. But I wouldnt change a thing. She guided Blair on top of her and shifted her legs so their bodies melded. “And it definitely has its advantages.
Blair skimmed her mouth over Cams breast. “Let me show you just how many.
Chapter Eighteen
R enée found Paula working at the desk that used to be Cameron Robertss in the far corner of the command center. Other than the agent watching the monitors at the opposite end of the room, the place was empty. It was five p.m. on Saturday, after all, and the agents who were off-shift were probably either with their families or out enjoying themselves. She couldnt remember a time when Saturday night had seemed any different than a weeknight. She and Paula hadnt had an evening alone together since before 9/11. And they werent going to tonight, either.
“ We got a hit, Renée said. “Ill be leaving soon. Probably wont be back until late morning.
Stark put her pen down and pushed the work aside without looking up. After a pause, she shifted slowly in her chair and looked up at Renée. “Youre heading the mission?
Renée nodded. The OHS team routinely shared intelligence with Blairs protection detail, especially when the information impacted the first daughters security. This mission didnt, not yet, but they all had a stake in tracking Matheson down. Especially Paula. Renée didnt want to worry her lover any more than necessary, but shed already changed into her black camos and T-shirt. She wasnt wearing her weapons yet, but Paula had to know what kind of operation was planned.
“ Where? Paula asked.
“ Where we suspected. Virginia.
“ How many people are going with you? Paula asked.
“ Enough. All good people. Renée checked that the other agents attention was occupied, then squatted down beside Paulas chair and put her hand on her knee. “I wont be able to call until its over, but I will as soon as I can.
Paula held Renées hand in both of hers, her head bowed as if she were studying the surface of Renées fingers. She rubbed her thumb over Renées knuckles. “Youre okay? You didnt get much sleep.
Renée leaned closer. “Im fine, sweetie. I hate for you to worry.
“ Make sure someone has your back, okay? Paula raised her head, her eyes dark with thinly disguised anxiety. “Dont be a hero.
“ I dont plan to be. Renée kissed her. “Weve got more than enough of them around here already.
“ Okay then, Paula said, forcing a smile. “So Ill see you tomorrow sometime. We may be on our way to Colorado by the time you get back.
Renée brushed her thumb over Paulas cheek, then straightened. “Then Ill see you on the slopes. Love you.
“ I love you too, Paula murmured.
Renée turned and walked swiftly away, knowing that the best way for her to ease the worry in her lovers eyes was to get the job done, get it done right, and come home. That was exactly what she intended to do.
* * * * *
Blair closed her book and dropped it onto the floor beside the couch. She could feel Cams tension from across the room. “Why dont you go downstairs.
“ In a few minutes. Cam leaned over and kissed Blairs forehead. “Trying to get rid of me?
“ Actually, yes. Youre driving me crazy with your pacing.
“ Im not pacing.
“ Were going to have to have the floors resurfaced in front of the windows, darling. Youve walked off the varnish.
“ Sorry, Cam muttered.
“ Sit for a second. Blair patted the space next to her. Theyd slept all morning, then Cam had showered and gone to the command center. Shed come back a little over an hour before so they could eat dinner together. Cam tried to hide it, but Blair could tell she was distracted. “Youre sending a team out, arent you?
Cam settled next to her and leaned her head back. “Yes.
“ Is it big?
“ We might have Mathesons safe house.
Blair tensed. “How?
“ Felicia tracked a suspect cell phone call to the Norfolk area. We found a property in the tower radius owned by a man named Jeremy Barton. Hes the son of an Army buddy of Mathesons. Were hoping Matheson is there.
“ Did Lucinda call in the special ops?
“ Not this time, Cam hedged, since Lucinda didnt know about the operation. No one did. “Were going in fast and light. Just our people and some of Tanners.
“ Is Tanner here? Blair knew her childhood friend employed a security force that was made up of ex-military people, and after seeing them in action she began to suspect that Whitley Industries had more involvement in what was happening in the Middle East than she had ever realized.
“ Not Tanner. She flew Steph down with a couple of men.
“ What if Matheson is there and hes got a force with him?
Cam shook her head. “Weve got satellite imagesno cars, no real signs of activity for the last five hours. He knows we know who he is, and I expect hes doing everything he can to stay under the radar. I doubt hes going to have direct contact with any of his people, because hes got to know were looking at everyone hes ever been associated with. A lone man is the hardest to track.
“ When will you know?
“ Our team will arrive around midnight.
“ God, another sleepless night.
Cam pulled Blair closer, settling her in the curve of her body. “If this operation is still ongoing in the morning, youll have to leave without me.
“ Thats not happening. Blair ran her finger down Cams arm. Usually Cam dressed for work in a dress shirt and tailored pants, even when she spent the day in the OHS offices downstairs. Today shed worn jeans and a faded blue cotton shirt. She looked sexy in either outfit, but Blair realized how rarely Cam was off duty these days. She wasnt leaving for Colorado without her because she wasnt entirely certain that Cam wouldnt become wrapped up in something else that absolutely needed her attention and forget to come. “Ill wait.
“ I know its a bad time
“ It is what it is, Cam, Blair said, surprised to find that she wasnt angry. Oh, she was outraged at the uncertainty and vulnerability they all lived with every day, but she certainly wasnt upset with her lover for doing what had to be done. “Im sorry this is so hard for you. The waiting.
Cam grimaced. “Im not sure Im cut out for this deputy director job. It doesnt feel right sending my people out on a mission while I stay here.
Blair laced her fingers through Cams. “I know youre doing this for me, and I appreciate it. But
“ I dont want you to thank me. Weve already been over that.
“ I wasnt going to thank you. Blair gave Cams hand a shake. “I was going to point out that my father thinks youre the right person for this job, and Lucinda agrees, and so do I. And not just because I dont want you in the field. She rested her chin against the tip of Cams shoulder and circled Cams waist with both arms. “One person cant fix this, darling, you know that. But you have a team that might be able to.
“ Thats right. My team. My people. Cam sighed. “I should be there to have their backs.
“ You do have their backs, by sending the best to do the job. Youre the team leader. You hold them all together.
Cam rested her forehead against Blairs. “Its a lot easier to do than to stay behind and worry.
Blair laughed and shook her head. “Thats something you dont have to tell me, my love.
“ Im sorry for that. Cam buried her face in Blairs hair. “I just hate watching.
Blair felt Cam tremble and was instantly alert. This wasnt fear Cam never gave in to fear. This was something deeper. “Hey, hey. She tightened
her grip. “What is it?
After a pause, Cam said so quietly Blair could barely hear her,
“ I keep thinking of that night when Janet was undercover and the operation went to hell. All I could do was watch while the trap closed around her. By the time I got to her
“ Oh, baby. Blair stroked Cams hair. Cam rarely talked about the night Janet, a narcotics detective and Cams on-again, off-again lover, was killed, but she knew the story. At least the details Cam had been able to share. Janet had been undercover, and somehow, the federal agents and the local detectives had failed to coordinate a raid on a warehouse where drugs were being exchanged for counterfeit money. Janet had been caught in the crossfire and killed. Cam had been shot trying to get her out. “Is that why youre always the first to stand in front of the bullets?
“ Believe me, I dont have a death wish, Cam said. “Im just doing my job.
Cams voice was muffled against her neck, but Blair could hear the pain. “I know. But no one wants you to protect them at the cost of your life. She rubbed Cams back and tried not to think about Cam taking the bullet that was meant for her. “Especially not me or any of the members of your team.
“ No ones going to be doing any dying, Cam said, straightening up. “Im sending them in with a satellite link to the command center. Ill have audio and video, and at the first sign of trouble, Ill pull them out. If Matheson so much as points a squirt gun in their direction, hes a dead man.
Blair smiled as cold, hard fury settled in the pit of her stomach. “That sounds like a perfect plan. Especially the last part.
“ I need to go. Cam kissed Blair. “Thanks. Thanks for letting me get that out.
“ Anytime. I love you. Blair squeezed Cams shoulder, then gave her a little shove. “So go take care of your people.
* * * * *
“ Explain to me again the part about theextracellular matrix stuff, Dana said. Without raising her head, she scribbled in a tattered brown leather notebook with one hand and reached out with her right for her coffee cup.
Emory slid the glass mug closer to Danas fingers, noticing again the faint roughness to her fingertips. Several of her knuckles were marked with small healing lacerations. “What happened to your hands?
Radclyffe - Honor 07 - Word Of Honor Page 16