“Security reasons?” she asked, choosing to ignore his crude joke.
“No.” He hopped up on the counter by the food simulator and winked. “Too many people trying to kiss up for charity.”
Jasmine gasped and made a face. Under her breath, she grumbled, “How noble of you.”
Reid tossed back his head and laughed. It was a full, rich sound. Jasmine froze. Had she said that out loud?
To the food simulator, Reid said, “Sloken.” The machine dinged and he opened the door to take out a steaming cup of green liquid. To Jasmine, he asked, “Want some?”
“I don’t drink,” she answered.
“Anything?” Leaning back, he sipped his beverage.
“Liquor.”
“Sloken isn’t alcohol.”
“No thank you just the same,” she said, bending over to pick up the shattered plate.
“Suit yourself, fea.” Reid took another drink, watching her over the rim of the cup as she dumped the pieces into a trash bin.
“The name’s Jasmine,” she answered, clearing more plate.
“Well, Jasmine.” He stressed her name and shook his head. “You’re just a bundle of joy, aren’t you?”
“Where would you like me to sleep?” she asked, changing the subject. She put the last of the plates in the sink and turned to him.
“All the rooms are full, so you’ll have to bunk with me.” Reid set the cup down and hopped off the counter. He moved with confidence and that scared her.
Jasmine stiffened. Surely he was joking. “Why you? I can just as easily sleep in the cargo hold.”
He chuckled. As he neared, she didn’t move. She found she wanted him to come to her. She wanted him to touch her. More than anything, she wanted to feel something when he did. His hand cupped the side of her face, warm and gentle. Her heart rate picked up, but she barely noted it as she looked deep into his dark eyes. The intensity in them took her by surprise. No man had ever looked at her like that. Slowly, he lowered his mouth to hers. She prayed for a spark to ignite, anything that would thaw her insides. When his lips barely touched hers, he said, “Because that’s what we both want.”
Jasmine closed her eyes and turned her face away. There was no great rush of emotion, no great outpouring of wild desire--no matter how much she wished it. Her heart might be beating faster, but other than that, she was dead inside. “No, that’s what you want.”
Reid studied the woman before him for a moment, not sure he’d heard her right. That smooth move had worked on many women. The low, seductive voice. The gentle caress of his hand. The slow glide of his lips.
He didn’t move, waiting for her to turn back to him in uncontrolled passion. Most women would have his clothes off in two seconds, begging him to take them against the countertop. He probably would’ve done it too.
Reid waited. Jasmine didn’t move. He waited longer. She took a deep breath, sighing. He waited. She took another breath. She looked bored.
Sacred Cats! Why in the galaxy wasn’t she kissing him right now? He wanted her so badly he was on the verge of attacking her because of it. Her smell engulfed him. The energy between them was potent, sparking like fireworks, snapping the air. How could she not react upon it?
Reid, not one to be dissuaded from his purpose, leaned forward to nuzzle her throat. She might hide her expression, but her pulse would give her away. He kissed her neck, letting his mouth rest over her heartbeat. To his pleasure, he felt it racing beneath his lips.
“When you said five hours, did that include this?” she asked, her voice soft.
Reid chuckled. That was more like what he was used to. Pulling back, he looked at her face. It was blank. He frowned. She looked unmoved. Losing some of his cool, he said, “Five hours in my bed.”
“Then please unhand me.” Jasmine pulled back. “I’ll pay what I owe, but not a second more. The next time you touch me, I start subtracting minutes.”
Reid instantly let her go, feeling as if she’d slapped him. She wasn’t interested? He would never force a woman to be in his company. He closed his eyes and inhaled, smelling her. Her longing was faint, but it was there--stronger than before. He listened. Her heart raced and her breathing had deepened. The attraction between them practically snapped around the room. There was no way what he felt could be one-sided. It was too strong, too potent. He looked at her face. It was an unreadable mask. For the first time in his sixty one years, Reid doubted himself. It was a new feeling and he didn’t like it.
“You can’t sleep in cargo. That’s Dev’s room,” he said quietly. He couldn’t look at her. Remembering what they’d concluded about her previous lover, he said, “I’m not a monster. I’m not going to force myself on you, Jasmine. If you truly don’t want me, I’ll back off. I’m sorry if I misread you.”
She didn’t move. Reid finally looked at her, meeting her eyes.
“Reid,” she began, but didn’t finish.
He picked up his sloken and strode out of the dining hall. Once away, hidden around a corner, he stopped and took a deep breath. What had just happened? Was it possible she wasn’t attracted to him? Did he only want her because she didn’t want him? Was that why he felt the burning need to go back, just to be near her? Was that why he thought about her all day? Reid was the first to admit he loved a challenge, but was she just playing hard to get or did she really not want to be gotten?
“She doesn’t want me,” he whispered, torn between bewilderment and agony. His body tensed, aching to hold her, touch her, smell her. The first woman in his life that he felt he just had to have and she didn’t want him. “She doesn’t want me.”
Anger and frustration built within him. Storming down the corridor, he found Dev and Jackson combat training in the VR. They glanced at him as he stepped into the middle of a battle with a group of Grugs. The hairy beasts howled, slashing at the men with sharpened claws. Dev stepped over, letting Reid in on the action. They fought, barely saying a word for hours. Afterward, Reid slowly made his way back to his room.
Though the workout tired him, it did nothing for the sexual frustration knotted in the pit of his stomach. He hung his head. Jasmine wasn’t attracted to him.
Chapter Five
Jasmine watched Reid stretch his arms as he stepped out of the decontaminator. He was completely naked. Her whole body shook, but she forced herself to remain seated on the bed. Her heartbeat had been a little too elevated since their meeting in the dining hall, so she’d taken another pill. Two pills in one day wasn’t really a good idea, but she’d been desperate.
Seeing his naked form, she quickly turned her eyes away to stare at her feet. Reid was a brilliant specimen of male beauty, like a statue carved from Earth marble. She loved looking at holographs of ancient Earth art. To imagine those people had carved the stone with only a chisel and hammer was amazing. Or that they painted a beautiful masterpiece, believing in their work so much they spent months perfecting it--sometimes years.
Jasmine took a deep breath. This was a mistake. On the verge of standing, she found her legs shook too badly to support her. She stayed on the bed, gripping the mattress at her sides.
“You act as though I’m going to attack you,” Reid said, his voice dull. “I already told you I’m not going to force myself on you.”
Jasmine bit her lip. She couldn’t look at him. “It’s pleasant enough when you kiss me.”
A soft sound of surprise escaped him at her admission. Jasmine had no idea what made her say the words aloud. She wanted to explain to him that it wasn’t him, it was her. If a man like Reid touched her and she couldn’t feel, then she’d know she was truly frigid.
“You could’ve fooled me,” Reid said. She felt more than heard him moving. The heat from his body seemed to wash over her. Or was it that she was so focused on him she imagined it? He pushed back her hair, brushing his fingers lightly over her cheek. No. It was him. He was close. Softly, he asked, “Would you like me to kiss you, fea?”
Jasmine slowly nodded. She fi
nally looked at him--first his bare feet, his strong thighs, his chiseled hips and waist. His shaft was erect, standing tall in a soft bed of hair. Not a measure of fat marred his frame. She force her gaze upward, over his muscled chest, so defined and smooth, to where his eyes bore down on her. “Yes.”
Reid gave her a slow smile and sank to his knees before her. The hand on her cheek slid over her neck, pulling her lightly forward. At first his kiss was gentle, as he brushed his lips lightly along her mouth. Watching his face, his closed eyes, she wanted to touch him, but held back. For some strange reason she couldn’t explain, she trusted him.
He traced her mouth with his tongue before delving inside. Jasmine couldn’t help but move her lips slightly as she tasted him. A weak sound left her and she realized it came from the back of her throat. Slowly, she reached behind her and lifted a small container. When he pulled back from his kiss, a kiss she barely returned, she held it up and said, “You’ll need this.”
A confused frowned crossed over his face as he looked at the label. “Lubricant?”
Jasmine nodded, pretty sure she’d never been so mortified in her life. Her body tensed and she wished the ship would just break apart so she could drift away into deep space. Dying a horrible death would surely be less painful than this moment.
Reid didn’t take the container, but instead looked into her eyes. This time when he kissed her he deepened it, moving as if to conquer her. A hand brushed over her thigh, gliding lightly up to the side of her breast. Pleasant warmth stung her nipple as he drew his thumb over it. Her hips jerked. She was dizzy, lightheaded, but she couldn’t make him stop. When she was breathless, he pulled back and smiled against her lips. “We don’t need that stuff.”
“Yes, you do,” she whispered. “I’m….”
He licked playfully at her mouth, running the tip of his tongue along the seam. “What?”
“I’m colder than the polar ice caps of Sintaz.” Jasmine tried to pull back. Oh, gawd! Had she really admitted it out loud? Like that? “Sorry, bad expression.”
“What are you talking about? Who told you that?” Reid refused to let her go. His hands kneaded along her sides. He made a soft, seductive noise as he brushed his temple along her jaw, nuzzling her.
“Well, my husband,” Jasmine said.
Reid stiffened. His hands gripped her arms slightly, not hurting but no longer caressing.
“I overheard him one night when he had a mistress over.” Jasmine pulled away. He let her go. She’d lived with her condition for so long that it no longer made her cry to think about it. Actually, nothing really made her cry anymore. Perhaps she had turned into an emotionless vacuum.
Reid stared at the woman in disbelief. She was married? Mated to another man? His body was so hard for her, she was finally willing--or so it appeared--and now he discovered he couldn’t touch her. For a long moment he couldn’t move. The idea of not being able to make love to her hurt too badly.
“Reid?” she asked, her voice soft, passionless.
Recoiling from her, he stood. His body had been stretched from his exercise, but the tension was slowly easing its way back into his muscles. When he looked at her, he didn’t see remorse for what was happening. It was like she didn’t care. She looked at him, her eyes shaded from all emotion. That wasn’t anything new. Her face was always expressionless when she looked at him. “You’re married?”
“Well, yeah, but….” Jasmine was slower coming to her feet.
“But?” Reid demanded, not believing her audacity. What kind of man did she think he was? Sure, he might joke about married women, but in truth he’d never taken another man’s wife to his bed. For the Var, lifemating was sacred and lasted for all eternity. Even half mating, though not as binding, was a strong connection that was not lightly breeched. If he was to knowingly take a married woman, the blow to his honor would be devastating, not to mention he’d never forgive himself.
“I’m not really, technically anymore,” she tried to explain.
“How can you not be? You have said vows? You have pledged yourself? You’ve said the words? You’ve been bound?” Reid couldn’t believe it. An ache was in his chest. She was taken, claimed. He wanted her more than he’d ever wanted anyone and she couldn’t be any further away from him. “Is your husband dead?”
Jasmine shook her head in denial. “Marriage is prison. I divorced him. I quit like a bad job.”
“This … divorce? Is it binding? Legal? Recognized by your people?” A hope tried to awaken where his heart had gone dead. He wished Quinn was with them. Quinn, being the true Var Ambassador knew the most about other cultures. Reid tried to remind himself that other humanoid cultures were different. Mating didn’t mean as much to humans as it did to the Var and could be undone. He was tense as he waited for the answer. He hoped she would say something he could work with.
“No, I just left.”
“You just gave up?” Why was he torturing himself? He should just tell her to go. In fact, he should throw her from his room and demand she go.
“I stayed for four years trying,” Jasmine said. She walked to the door and ran her hand over the scanner. “I don’t call that giving up, Reid. I call that overkill.”
Jasmine left without a backward glance. He was glad for it, for he wouldn’t have been able to force her to leave him. How could she be married?
Reid looked at his arousal. It still ached, but he ignored it. Breathing hard, he sat on the bed.
Jasmine was taken. There was nothing he could do about it. He couldn’t touch her. To do so would be to dishonor not only himself, but his family, his people. There was nothing to be done about it. He could never have her.
The knowledge only seemed to make him want her more. She was a mystery. Regrettably, she wasn’t his mystery to solve.
* * * *
Jasmine took a deep breath, as she made her way down the corridor away from Reid’s room. The look of repulsion on his face had been clear. He no longer wanted her. Shouldn’t she be happy? Wasn’t that what she wanted? Then why did it feel like she’d just been kicked in the gut? Why was her body suddenly all achy and hot?
“I need another pill,” she whispered, pressing a hand to her chest. “Something’s definitely wrong with me.”
Looking back toward Reid’s room, she tensed. She couldn’t go in there--not right now. Reid was still in there. Unfortunately, so was her medicine.
Her whole body shaking, she decided to suffer through the little heart episode. It would be too dangerous to take another pill so soon anyway. Slowly, she continued down the corridor. The ship was big. There had to be somewhere she could hide until the peculiar feeling in her chest subsided.
“Jasmine.”
Jasmine froze. Reid’s soft voice was so hard, angry. Turning slowly, she looked back. There was so much passion in him, so much feeling. When he smiled, he really smiled. When he laughed, it was a real laugh--not fake, not forced. And, like now, when he was angry, the rage poured out of him until it was unmistakable. She wished she could feel things half as much as he did. He was so honest with himself.
Frowning, he leaned out of his quarter’s door. Jasmine swallowed, not making a move to go to him. If his naked shoulder was any indication, he hadn’t put on clothes. “What?”
“Come back here. Everyone will be going to bed soon and I already said I’d share my room with you. I keep my word. There is nowhere else for you to go on the ship.” Reid studied her a moment longer before disappearing into his room.
Jasmine stared at the door for a long moment before going back. Unsure, she glanced inside the room. Reid was on the floor, wrapped in a blanket. He glanced at her, but said nothing. He didn’t have to. His dark eyes spoke volumes.
“You’re sure?” she asked. “I don’t want to put you out.”
He chuckled, though the sound had little humor. “Take the bed, Jasmine. Sleep.”
Reid closed his eyes and she knew that he was dismissing her. She should’ve been grateful that he no
longer wanted her, but she wasn’t. It’s not like she wanted to suffer through a man’s carnal attentions, counting the seconds until he was done.
Slowly, she moved to the bed. Lying down, she looked at his strong back. The long waves of his hair spread out behind him, looking like strands of dark silk against the gray pillow. He was turned away from her and she couldn’t see his handsome face.
“Lights,” Reid called. The lights shut off, leaving them in darkness. Jasmine tensed, waiting for him to stalk her and strangely disappointed when he didn’t.
Jasmine tucked her hands under her head. “Reid?”
“What, Jasmine?” He didn’t sound pleased. In fact, he didn’t sound anything. Normally he sounded so full of life. His dead tone actually hurt.
“Thank you for not turning me over to the Federation. You might have actually saved my life.” Jasmine bit her lip. It wasn’t all she wanted to say to him. Part of her was so scared. She’d not felt such a thing in a long time. In fact, it was as if she’d been lifeless inside--for four years to be exact, since her wedding to Chad.
Jasmine waited for him to speak, hoping he’d give her an opening. She wanted to invite him into the bed, not for sex, but for his warmth. She wanted to feel his body next to hers like when he’d been shifted into tiger form. She wanted to feel protected. A tear slipped over her cheek. She wanted to be wanted.
“It’s nothing,” he said, his tone flat. “Anyone would have done the same.”
Jasmine bit her lip. That wasn’t true and she had a feeling he knew it as well. Not many people would take on a stranger, protecting them from the Federation Military.
“Reid--”
“Go to sleep, Jasmine,” he said, cutting off her words with his harsh tone. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
* * * *
“We’re stopping for fuel,” Jarek said as Reid came into the cockpit. They’d been traveling for four days, taking a long route back to Qurilixen. No one complained. It wasn’t as if they were needed at the Var palace anytime soon.
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