Love in Flame (De La Fuente Book 5)

by Lexi Buchanan

  Tears hover in my eyes and clog my throat as I accept the food and the warm coffee. Without adding milk or sugar, I take a sip of the dark liquid and sigh as it runs down my raw throat.

  Kasey watches me while eating his own breakfast and all I see is compassion in his gaze. He isn’t judging me for wanting Diego, and that gives me the confidence to talk to him.

  “I told Diego that we couldn’t be together.” I bite my lip and take another sip of coffee to try and keep my emotions from overflowing. “He means a lot to me, Kasey. A lot more than he should.”

  Taking a bite of my roll, I slowly chew as Kasey screws his wrapper up now he’s finished eating. I haven’t really spoken to Kasey before. We’ve exchanged pleasantries briefly at their family home, but I haven’t seen much of him since.

  He’s tall, over six feet, with a slim build and broad in the shoulders. The blond hair and short beard are in contrast to that of his brothers. Kasey plays for an NHL team, the New York Mavericks, which is why he isn’t around too much. He’s a handsome man, but no one turns my head the way that Diego does.

  “My brother has never been serious about a woman before, Rae,” Kasey says resting his elbows on the table while holding my gaze. “I love him and want the best for him—”

  “Which isn’t me,” I interrupt before he can finish.

  His eyes flash with impatience before he continues, “I was going to say that you make him happy…although confused.”

  “Confused?” I frown.

  “He’s never had a woman who consumes his every thought. He’s never been so hooked that he’s jealous, until you. So yeah, he’s confused.” Kasey sits back and watches me closely. “You’ve hurt him now,” Kasey accuses.

  “I’m hurting too,” I sob and grab a handful of napkins to cover my face.

  “Fuck,” Kasey curses. “I didn’t mean that the way it came out. Well, I did,” Kasey stumbles over his words, “but I didn’t mean them accusingly. I was meaning that you have the power to hurt him, which should tell you that what you both feel isn’t something to just walk away from without even trying.”

  I glance at him through the napkins, and he chuckles before adding, “I know mom isn’t going to be happy about it, but don’t you think you should at least see where it could go?”

  “You have no idea how much I wish I could,” I admit. “He means a lot to me, Kasey, and spending time with him will only intensify those feelings. It will hurt all the more when we part company.”

  “If you part company,” Kasey adds. “It also looks like it’s hurting a lot right now.”

  “It is.” I inhale, and add, “Do you know that I have a twenty-three year old daughter?” I see by the surprise on his face that he doesn’t. “Her name is Andie and she’s away at College. She has a job out there, but she’ll be home soon.” I meet Kasey’s gaze. “There’s only five years between her and Diego.”

  I gaze out of the window wishing that circumstances were different so that I wouldn’t be feeling so heart broken. I’ve laid myself bare to Kasey because I need someone to understand why I have to back away from Diego, even though it hurts the both of us to do it.

  “I didn’t realize that there was more to you pushing him away than your age. Now I don’t know what to tell you.” Kasey closes his eyes and looks tired, as though he hasn’t slept.

  “Are you okay?” My question surprises him.

  He glances away before returning to meet my eyes. “I can’t talk about it.”

  “Oh.” I sit back in my seat.

  Kasey shakes his head. “It isn’t that I don’t want to talk about it. I’ve been asked to keep it quiet. Which means I can’t talk to family, or friends. I’m including you under friends.”

  “Okay.” I smile, apologetically. “I’m sorry I pushed, but right now I think I need to leave, and you need to go and make sure Diego is okay… Please.”

  Kasey nods and standing, he tugs me into his arms. Mine go around his waist. “If you need anything Rae, please call me. I know you have my number.”

  Stepping back, I meet his gaze and frown. “How?”

  He grins. “I snuck into Diego’s room last night while the others were in the waiting room. Diego had me program his number into your cell. I added mine as well,” he confesses.

  I offer him a watery smile to say thank you.

  “Take care of yourself Rae.”

  I nod and make my way out of the hospital to where the sun is already high in the sky. It’s another beautiful day and I’m going to end up wasting it inside, wallowing and hiding away from the feelings I wish I didn’t have.

  1

  Diego ~ Two weeks ago

  My shoulder has healed quickly without any loss of movement, which is why the doctor has given me the all clear to return to work.

  I’ve worked around my parent’s horse farm, but they’ve already got a full staff and I usually only lend a hand when I’m around. I think I’ve probably gotten under their feet even though they wouldn’t tell me if I had.

  My job as a hotshot—now that I’ve left the fire department in New York—tends to be intermittent, with a lot of down time. Usually I wouldn’t mind this, but all of the spare time has me overthinking and longing for the one person who won’t give me the time of day, drives me crazy, and makes me angry.

  I know her reasoning, and I’ve heard every word Kasey has said to me, but that doesn’t stop the hurt I feel at not having her the way I need her. So what if Rae is forty-three, fifteen years my senior, it doesn’t bother me. I know it bother’s my mom a lot, and until I’d told her to stop, she’d constantly let me know it.

  Rae is the sexiest, sweetest, woman I know, and she wouldn’t hurt a damn fly. It hurts me to know that she’s been on the receiving end of my mom’s tongue whenever they bump into each other in town. Aiden has promised me that he’ll check in on Rae, while I avoid mom.

  We can’t live so close and carry on the way we have been doing. It just doesn’t work like that, but I sure as hell don’t know what else to do.

  Even Aiden, her best friend and my brother, has told me that it’s best to stay away from her to keep the peace. I’ve decided that I’ll give Rae space, which is fucking hard to do, but then I’m going after her.

  The time isn’t right just yet but when it is I’m going to make sure she can’t get away from me. I’m going to be every damn place she goes. She’s the woman I’m in love with and no matter how ridiculous that sounds considering we haven’t spent that much time together, she’s there in my heart.

  “You look ready to kill someone, brighten up bro. It’s an engagement party after all.” Kasey nudges me from my place at the back of the barn.

  I’m not completely hidden, just enough that I can watch everything and everyone in my case, without them seeing me.

  “I’m fine,” I add when I realize he isn’t going anywhere, anytime soon. “I am.”

  “Who are you trying to convince?” Kasey drawls. “You aren’t convincing me.”

  I glare at him, but considering we’re the same height and pretty much the same build, my silent response does nothing but elicit a smirk.

  “I don’t need to tell you that Rae is here, do I?”

  My eyes immediately focus on her and my fists clench when I see her talking to another man. She looks beautiful with her fiery red hair brushed out down her back in soft waves, and the sundress ending above her knees—a few inches above—and cowgirl boots on her feet.

  My breath catches at the back of my throat at the first sight of her since the hospital. My skin feels tight, and my eyes burn into her, unable to move them on.

  She must sense my gaze because she turns, looking around her before she spots me, and my heated gaze. Her head quickly swivels back to the man she’s talking to, but seconds later she’s moving toward the front of the barn.

  “Shit,” Kasey curses. “I hope you two know what you’re doing.” He stomps away and distracts Mom from spotting Rae.

  In fact, Rae i
s only here today because Aiden told Mom that there wouldn’t be an engagement party at the farm if Rae wasn’t invited, and made to feel welcome. Needless to say it worked, Mom had her heart set on the party being here so she just couldn’t say no.

  As Rae gets closer the visible strain on her face makes me want to take her into my arms and protect her. I want her with me, and I want everyone to accept that she’s the woman I want in my life…except that won’t be happening anytime soon.

  Slipping into the barn from the back, I can’t help my excitement. That I’m going to have the opportunity to talk to her, maybe touch her beautiful face…and then, there she is, looking unsure of herself, slipping into the barn.

  I pause and stay hidden in the shadows as I watch her look around. She fidgets with the short skirt of her dress but it’s when she sucks her lower lip into her mouth that I have a visceral reaction, right in the fucking balls.

  “Diego?” she whispers before clearing her throat.

  I’m afraid that if I make myself known that I’ll pounce on her.

  She knows you’re here somewhere.

  RAE

  Glancing around, I bite my lip nervously, knowing that Diego is in here somewhere. I can feel his eyes on me and I have done since I arrived at his family’s farm.

  The same farm that his mom, Lucia, has asked me to stay away from. Her words only affirmed my decision of not getting involved with Diego. More involved, I should say because he’s the first man since my first husband died to enter my heart. Diego’s brother, Aiden is here, but the love I have for him is like that of a sibling.

  I shouldn’t even be thinking about this, but how can I not. I’m not as strong as I should be and minutes ago it had felt like I’d been lassoed, roped in, or as though a powerful magnet was pulling us together.

  The barn is full of shadows, but as I walk down the center, searching for him with my eyes, I spot his boots, the rest of him shrouded in darkness. Goose bumps break out all over my body when he steps out of the shadows and begins to slowly move toward me. It’s as though we’re in a slow motion segment as it takes forever for him to reach me. I can hear my heart thrumming loudly, almost as if each beat means more with him around. When he reaches me, silence encompasses us as his gaze travels over my face, his eyes searing into mine.

  My heart jolts and my pulse pounds while I fight the overwhelming need to be in his arms. It’s the vulnerability that I sense behind his heated expression that makes me pause. He’s just as nervous to be here with me as I am with him. I’m so used to Diego being confident and sure of himself, but that isn’t what he’s letting me see right now.

  Knowing that I need to make the first move, I take a hesitant step closer and when Diego looks at me as though he’s seconds from devouring me, my body goes heavy and warm with need—the pull between us is irresistible.

  Moistening my lips, I whisper, “We shouldn’t be here…together.” I shake my head slowly, trying to gain control of my thoughts.

  His eyes flicker with pain before he curses and stepping forward, he pulls me tightly to his large frame. Being this close I can’t miss the musky scent of him as our hearts thud in rhythm, a delightful shiver of longing runs through me.

  “Rae…” his last words are smothered against my lips as he pushes past them with his thrusting tongue.

  My hands clutch at his shoulders when he pulls my trembling thighs up and around his taught waist. His hands move under my dress, skimming my hips and thighs before they settle on my bottom. In this position there’s no possible way I can miss his arousal that feels long and thick pressing against my panties.

  Diego’s mouth leaves mine before he briefly holds my gaze before reclaiming my lips, crushing me to him.

  My whole body is awash with excitement and all I can think about is how much I want this man who currently has me on the edge of orgasm from his kisses alone.

  I shouldn’t be doing this.

  Reluctantly and with a great deal of strength that I didn’t know I possessed, I break the kiss, my lips burning to be back on his.

  Diego’s eyes turn cold as he slowly lowers my feet back to the ground. My heart sinks at his reaction, but I can’t let him go as my arms wrap around his waist and I bury my face into the corded muscles of his chest.

  His hands cup the back of my head, holding me against him. “This between us is real, Rae. You can’t deny that.”

  His words ring true. I do know that our feelings are real, and that scares me because it doesn’t change anything. We still can’t be together. My heart breaks further at the realization.

  “You know why we can’t be together,” I whisper, pulling away while fighting back tears. “I wish things were different but they’re not.”

  He steps closer while I take a step back, his gaze hardening as he pauses, curses, and asks, “So it wouldn’t bother you if I dated someone else? It wouldn’t bother you if I fucked another woman? Is that what you’re saying? That you’d rather I be with someone else?”

  I peer at him through foggy, teary eyes as jealously tightens my heart and my breath catches in the back of my throat.

  Turning on my heel, I dash toward the exit just wanting to get home and away from the farm and Diego. I don’t make it three steps as his large arm wraps around my stomach from behind, hauling me against his hard chest. “That’s exactly how I feel,” he hisses against my ear, “at the thought of you with another man.” His breathing is harsh, as he drops his forehead to my shoulder. “I said what I did because your refusal to be with me hurts. It hurts a fucking lot. I wanted you to hurt too.”

  The grip around my stomach loosens, but instead of moving away, I slide my hands to his and hold on while I admit, “I hurt too Diego.” I turn and let him see my eyes. “Knowing that we don’t have a future, that you’re young and will eventually find someone else, it kills me inside. I wish that someone was me because I’d give you the world if I could, but—”

  “No fucking buts,” Diego snarls, cupping my face. “Do you want to be with me? The truth.”

  I search his gaze and tell him, “Yes.”

  His eyes blaze with heat as his head slowly starts to dip…

  “Diego? Are you in here?”

  We both freeze at the sound of his mother’s voice.

  “Diego?”

  She’s getting closer.

  I can’t be here.

  I shouldn’t have come.

  Pulling out of Diego’s grip, I quickly head toward the back. “She can’t see you with me,” I tell Diego as he follows.

  “I’ll talk to her.”

  He didn’t say it but I heard it all the same “again”.

  At the doors to the back of the barn, I stop and turn to face him. “Please take care, Diego.”

  I slip out just as his mom says, “There you are. What are you doing inside here?”

  There’s a pause, and I hear him ask, “What do you want, Mom?” sounding tired and resigned.

  “I just wondered where you’d gone.”

  I don’t stay around to hear anything else, and make my way slowly to my car, all of my energy spent.

  Opening the door, I can’t resist, and turn to look back at the barn. Diego is leaning against the door, his eyes full of need on me.

  I’m not sure how long I gaze back at him but he’s the first to turn away. I briefly close my eyes before I drop into my car.

  My head drops to the steering wheel, and I tell myself that I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep being around Diego when I know nothing will become of us. I don’t think he realizes just how much I wish that I had the right to call him mine. How much I want to be with him for the rest of my life.

  Swiping at my tears, I turn my car around and head home, alone.

  2

  Diego ~ Present Day

  Exhausted, I trudge through the thin line of burnt trees and stop in my tracks at the sight before me. I have to be seeing things.

  Removing one of my gloves, I rub at my tired eyes, blin
king…and I still have the vision of the sexiest curvy ass wiggling under the hood of a car…attached to it is a head of fiery red hair that I recognize. I haven’t seen her in two weeks…I crave this woman like a fucking drug.

  Rae.

  She isn’t tall or model thin by any means but the thought of having those legs wrapped around my waist while my hands caress her bare skin causes a twitch in my pants.

  Seconds later, a string of curse words escape from between her luscious lips, and my presence becomes known when I throw my head back laughing.

  Rae quickly turns, losing her balance and ends up on her butt at the side of the road.

  Moving quickly, I rip off my other glove and hold my hands out to her while she stares at me as though…she’s missed me. She has feelings for me just like I do her, which is why I’ve been unable to look at another woman. And now the only one I want is sitting on her ass with a sudden case of mute and paralysis.

  “C’mon Rae, let me help you up.”

  She shakes her head and her hand slowly slides into mine and when she gasps at my touch, I tug her up and back on to her feet.

  I use the opportunity of her closeness to really look at her and I let my eyes roam over the beautiful woman who I want more than my next breath.

  Her full head of fiery red hair is coming free from the hair tie that currently keeps it out of the way. Her face is rosy with a small sprinkling of freckles over her flushed cheeks and the bridge of her nose. She’s as beautiful as I remember, and most likely just as stubborn.

  I reluctantly let go of her hand and I can’t help myself from glancing down her torso to her ample chest. The hard nubs of her nipples are clearly outlined, and at her gasp, I snap my eyes up to hers.

  My cheeks heat at having been caught, so I clear my throat and grin. “It’s good to see you again, Rae,” I tell her and reach out with my thumb to caress the side of her soft face.