Spanking Shakespeare
Page 18
“You hear that?” my dad says, looking at me. He turns to Jody. “You have no idea how much he’s complained about his name.”
I smile and shrug, happy to concede this little victory to my parents. I have just graduated. I have a girlfriend. I am sitting in a fancy restaurant sipping wine. Jody Simons has come over to my table of her own free will. I realize that I am feeling completely relaxed and at ease.
“Did we ever tell you how we came up with your name?” my mother asks.
“Yes, Mom,” I say, blushing, no longer relaxed, no longer at ease.
Paige walks over to the table and introduces herself to my parents. The situation is becoming hazardous.
“I never heard the story,” my brother says, trying hard to keep a straight face. He turns to Paige. “My mother was about to tell us how they came up with Shakespeare’s name.”
My father takes out his handkerchief and blows a mighty blow.
My mother turns to the girls. “We both loved to act when we were younger, and…” She smiles and shakes her head. “I can’t believe I’m telling this.”
Me neither. Please stop.
She takes a sip of wine. “Well, you have to understand we were a little wild in our younger days.”
Tell me this is not happening.
My father puts his arm around me. “Probably not as wild as this one, though.”
My brother nods. “Yeah, Shakespeare’s a real wild man.”
My mother looks at me affectionately. “Isn’t he handsome?” she says to the girls.
“Like a stallion,” my father says.
“You know,” my mother says, “he never tells us anything about his social life.”
My father squeezes me harder. “Like a stallion,” he bellows. “Just raring to go.”
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I’d like to thank the following people: my agent, Marcia Wernick, for believing in me as a writer; my editor, Jim Thomas, for providing such thoughtful feedback on the manuscript; and my wife, Kira, for all her love and support.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jake Wizner’s life improved significantly after he graduated from high school. These days he lives in New York City with his wife and two daughters and teaches eighth-grade English and history. Spanking Shakespeare is his first novel.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2007 by Jake Wizner
Illustrations copyright © 2007 by Richard Ewing
Jacket illustration copyright © 2007 by Richard Ewing / Jacket design by Joanne Yates Russell
All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Random House Children’s Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Wizner, Jake.
Spanking Shakespeare / Jake Wizner.—1st ed.
p. cm.
SUMMARY: Shakespeare Shapiro navigates a senior year fraught with feelings of insecurity while writing the memoir of his embarrassing life, worrying about his younger brother being cooler than he is, and having no prospects of ever getting a girlfriend.
[1. Coming of age—Fiction. 2. Authorship—Fiction. 3. High schools—Fiction. 4. Schools—Fiction.] I. Title.
PZ7.W791Sp 2007 [Fic]—dc22 2006027035
eISBN: 978-0-375-89086-4
v3.0