Hot Mess

by Lynn Raye Harris

  “Dr. Hayes?”

  She blinked at the man standing on the lawn in front of her where Sam had so recently stood.

  “Yes?”

  “Soon as you’re ready, ma’am, I’ll drive you back to DC.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED, Georgie? First there was a guy and now there’s no guy.” Rick sounded exasperated with her. And more than a little worried.

  Georgeanne sighed and shoved her hair back from her face.

  “I made him up so you’d stop bothering me.”

  Of course it wasn’t true, but she wasn’t telling her brother about Sam. Or about the blissful few days she’d spent wrapped in his arms in a cottage in Maryland.

  Her heart ached every time she thought of Sam. She hadn’t seen him or heard from him since he’d climbed into a helicopter three weeks ago and left her standing on the front step alone. He hadn’t been kidding when he’d said his life was unpredictable.

  Rick sighed. “Mother worries about you. I’m just trying to make sure you’re all right since she won’t ask you herself.”

  “She won’t ask because she knows I’m a grown woman and I can take care of myself.” Georgeanne tapped her pencil against the desk in her home office. “Rick, honestly, I’m happy with what I’m doing. I love my house, I love my job, and I’m not ready to jump into a relationship with anyone. And while we’re at it, I don’t appreciate you asking Sam to check on me. He has an important job and he doesn’t have time to chase me down just because you ask him to.”

  “You’re right,” he said on another sigh. “I shouldn’t have asked him. I tried calling him recently, but he must be out of the country again.”

  “He said something about going on a mission. I don’t know where.”

  “How’d he look? Did he seem all right?” She could hear the concern in her brother’s voice and it softened her attitude just a bit. Rick was a worrier by nature. When he loved someone, he was always concerned about how they were feeling. It was sweet, especially considering how tough her brother was in other ways.

  “He seemed fine. It was good to see him.”

  “You still got a crush on him?” She could hear the laughter in his voice, but it was no laughing matter to her.

  “And what if I did? Would you freak out if I went out with him?”

  She could almost see Rick’s face. He’d be blinking right about now. Processing what she’d said. “It would be a little weird for me, sure. He’s my best friend and you’re my sister. But I suppose I’d get used to it. Why? Is there something you aren’t telling me?”

  “Not at all. I just like yanking your chain.” Because some things were private. Not only that, but her brief affair with Sam McKnight seemed to be over and done. There was nothing to tell.

  They talked for a few more minutes—about Hopeful, about their mother’s upcoming garden party, about their father’s golf trip, about Rick’s wife and kids—and then hung up with a promise to speak again soon.

  Georgeanne stared at the phone and heaved a sigh. Talking to Rick, hearing the laughter of his kids in the background, talking about their parents—everything about it made her feel her loneliness keenly. Some days, she thought returning to Hopeful was a good idea.

  But she usually came to her senses before she put the house on the market and started to pack.

  Georgeanne worked on the syllabus for her next class, which started on Monday, and then decided it was time for bed. She went up to her room, got undressed, and climbed under the covers with her book. Belle jumped on the bed and proceeded to take a bath.

  “We lead an exciting life, don’t we, Belle?”

  The cat didn’t answer, and Georgeanne gave up on her book and turned on the news. And then she must have dozed off because the ringing of her phone scared the hell out of her. She grabbed it from the bedside table. When Sam’s name popped up on the screen, she nearly dropped the phone as she tried to slide the bar before it went to voice mail.

  “Hello?”

  There was silence on the other end and her heart fell. Dammit, she’d missed him. Would he leave a message? Did she even want him to? Or was it better if she just considered the time in the cottage to be the coda to their relationship?

  “Hey there, G.”

  He sounded so good. Her shoulders sagged with relief—both that she’d caught the call in time and that he obviously wasn’t dead.

  “Hey, Sam. Long time, no hear.”

  He chuckled softly. “Yeah. I told you that could happen, didn’t I?”

  “You did. I just didn’t realize you meant quite so literally or quickly.” And she was still processing how she felt about it, especially since he was now calling her up out of the blue. It wasn’t quite the same as her and Tim inhabiting different orbits while in the same house, but still.

  “That’s what life with me is like, babe. Here one day, gone the next. Radio silence for weeks. I tried to tell you.”

  “I know, and I appreciate it.”

  “Still think it’s something you can handle?”

  Georgeanne nibbled the inside of her lip. She’d been thinking about that a lot while he’d been gone. And though there was no easy answer, there was only one she could give. Because when it came right down to it, she needed him in her life. “I’ll learn to handle it.”

  “Are you sure about that? Because it won’t be easy, G.”

  She swallowed as tears welled behind her eyes. “I know. But you’re worth it, Sam. You’re worth it to me.”

  He didn’t say anything and she strained to hear him, wondering if he’d hung up on her.

  “You still there?”

  “Yeah, I’m here.”

  She let out a shaky sigh. “So where are you now? Back in the CONUS?” She loved that she could use military lingo with him and know, at least a little bit, what she was talking about.

  She thought he might be grinning. “I am.”

  “Which part of the CONUS?”

  This time he laughed. “You like saying that, don’t you?”

  She smiled. “Who wouldn’t? The military has such interesting terms for things, don’t you think? CONUS for continental US. TDY. AWOL. Hoo-ah. It’s fascinating.”

  “I didn’t call you for a lesson on military acronyms, babe.”

  “No, I don’t suppose you did.” Her heart was filling with warmth as they talked. It was a strange conversation in some respects, but if he was calling, then he must care at least a little bit. “So where are you right now then?”

  “Right now?”

  “Right damn now.”

  “Standing on your front steps. Wondering if I should ring the bell or go.”

  Georgeanne gasped. And then she dropped the phone in her haste to get out of bed. “Don’t you dare leave, Sam!” she yelled as she grappled for the phone.

  She ran down the stairs and yanked open the front door. Sam stood there with his phone to his ear. He lowered his arm slowly. They stared at each other.

  “Looking kinda sexy in my shirt, G,” he said softly.

  She crossed her arms self-consciously. She was wearing one of his T-shirts that he’d left in the cottage. It was not sexy. It swam on her. But it made her think of him, and so she wore it anyway even though she got hot in the middle of the night and had to sleep on top of the covers.

  “I missed you,” she said simply, her eyes welling with tears.

  “I missed you too.” He cocked his head to the side. “You still naked down there?”

  “I’m wearing panties.”

  His teeth flashed white in the darkness. “I meant something else. Thought about that a lot out in the field this time. Damned embarrassing a couple of times, if you know what I mean.”

  “The fellas don’t appreciate a good hard-on?” she teased, her heart racing a mile a minute.

  “Oh, I think we all appreciate them. When they belong to us and there’s a hot woman to appreciate it with us in private.”

  “I see.”

&nb
sp; He came the rest of the way up the steps, until he loomed over her. He was wearing desert camouflage BDUs and he looked utterly delicious.

  “Gonna invite me in?”

  “That depends.”

  He looked suddenly wary. “On what?”

  Georgeanne held the door tightly, like she needed it to stand. Or maybe to keep from flinging herself in his arms before she had an answer. “On why you’re here. Is it for a hot fuck? Or something else?”

  *

  Sam looked at her standing there in his T-shirt, her pretty green eyes fixed on his face, all the hurt and confusion she felt showing in them, and he wanted to drag her in his arms and just hold her tight.

  Why was he here? Because he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Because he’d left that cottage determined to make a clean break with her, and then he’d been haunted by memories of her out in the field. Oh, not when it counted. When it counted, he was able to blank his mind of everything but the job.

  But when he wasn’t humping through the desert or bursting into a compound to rescue frightened tourists who’d been taken hostage by yet another group with an axe to grind against Americans, he’d thought of Georgie and the way she’d made him feel.

  Like he belonged. Like he was special. Like he’d come home.

  But the words lodged in his throat. He was still too uncertain of himself, of what he felt, to try to give it a voice. Finally, he managed to speak. He hoped it was good enough.

  “Because I need you. Because I missed you. Because, when I thought of everything I wanted to do when I got back, none of it meant a damn thing if you weren’t a part of it.”

  She wrapped a hand in his shirt then and tugged him toward her. He entered the house, waited for her to shut the door and lock it. And then he pushed her back against the door and buried his face in her hair.

  “Georgeanne. God, I missed you.” She smelled so sweet, like flowers and cake, and he wanted to devour her.

  Her arms looped around his neck. She splayed a hand over the back of his head. “Sam. Oh, Sam. Don’t you leave me like that again.”

  There was a lump in his throat. “I already told you—”

  “I know. You have to go when you have to go. But you don’t have to go without telling me you want me again. You don’t have to let me think you’re finished with me. With us. Maybe I can handle you leaving if I know you still need me.”

  He nuzzled the side of her neck. “I’m not sure I’ll ever be finished.”

  She squeezed him tight then. “I love you, Sam. I don’t care if that makes you uncomfortable. I love you and I won’t keep it a secret any longer. From anyone.”

  His heart had stopped beating in his chest. And then it lurched forward again, beating harder and faster than before. He straightened so he could see her eyes.

  She bit her lip, that sweet plump lip that he wanted to nibble and suck. “I’m sorry if that bothers you,” she said. “But I can’t help it and I won’t hide it. And if that makes you want to run away, then I guess I’ll have to fight to keep you from doing it.”

  His throat ached. “Run away? Yeah, it kinda does. But it also makes me want to strip you naked and worship every inch of your body until I can’t move anymore.”

  She feathered her fingers over his cheek. They were trembling. “You’ll have to be a little plainer with me, Sam. Tell me what it means that you aren’t running. Tell me what this is to you. What I am to you.”

  His heart hammered. “I can’t forget you, Georgie. I can’t quit you either. I’ve thought of you for twelve years, and once I had you—really had you—I knew I was in trouble. Because I don’t care how pissed off Rick gets at me, or how disappointed your parents are because I’m not what they envisioned for their princess. I want you. I need you.” He swallowed hard. Jesus, was he going to frigging pass out here? Why were the words so damn difficult to say? “You’re everything to me,” he finished, disappointed in himself for not being able to say the three words he should say.

  He’d been thinking about them a lot over the past few weeks and he knew they were true. He didn’t know when it had happened, or why he couldn’t dig her out of his heart the way he wanted, but he’d given up trying. She was the one obstacle he couldn’t defeat.

  And maybe she wasn’t an obstacle. Maybe she was the best damn thing to come into his life and he just had to figure out how to make it work. In any event, he wanted her in his life and he would fight to keep her there.

  She smiled in spite of his lack of finesse with words. “You love me. I knew it.” She gave him a smug look. “Bet you fell for me when I was following you around the house all those years ago. God knows I was pretty irresistible.”

  He laughed and ached all at once. “About as irresistible as a rash.”

  She pinched his arm and he laughed again. “You’re a hot mess, Sam.”

  “You make me crazy, G.” He ran his hands up her sides, under the T-shirt, and cupped her warm breasts in his palms.

  “You make me crazy too, Sam. And I don’t know how this is going to work out, and I can’t guarantee I won’t freak out when you’re gone, but I love you and I want to try. I’m tired of playing it safe. If it doesn’t work, then at least we’ll know. But I want that chance. I need that chance.”

  He ran his thumbs over her nipples, thrilled to the catch of her breath in her throat. “I know. I need that chance too. I need you.” He dipped his head and kissed her lightly, though she tried to deepen the kiss. He pulled back while she whimpered and squeezed her breasts lightly in his palms. “I’ve thought of little else but this for the last three weeks.”

  “You know what I thought about?”

  He shook his head. She unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned his pants—and then her hands wrapped around his swollen cock. He didn’t know what to expect—but she dropped to her knees and tilted her head back to look up at him.

  “This,” she said. “I thought about this.”

  And then she took him in her mouth and his knees nearly buckled.

  “God. Georgie.” He braced a hand against the wall and swallowed. Her tongue rolled over him, her fingers pumped him, and it would just be so frigging easy to let her get him off this way.

  But it wasn’t what he’d envisioned during the long, lonely stretches on watch. He reached for her, pulled her up and ripped the shirt she wore over her head at the same time. Then he filled his hands and mouth with her breasts. She clutched his shoulders, gasping, and he knew what an utterly perfect night he was in for.

  But he suddenly didn’t want it here, like this, in her hallway. Up against a wall. There was plenty of time for that kind of thing, but right now he wanted her beneath him in a bed. Wanted her legs around him and her mouth on his.

  He swept an arm behind her legs and scooped her into his arms. And then he took the stairs two at a time. When he reached her room, the television was on and the cat was parked in the middle of the bed.

  The cat took one look at the two of them and bolted. Sam laid Georgie on the bed and stripped her panties off. Then he was between her legs, his pants shoved down his hips, rolling on a condom with shaking hands.

  And then finally, finally, he was inside her. Loving her. Feeling the utter rightness of what she did to him. He loved her cries, loved her breathy moans. She shattered quickly, her body tightening around his, her inner muscles squeezing him hard, his name on her lips.

  He followed her over the edge, a groan ripping from his throat. And then he held her, his heart beating hard, and knew he’d only ever felt this way with her. This exhilarating rush of emotions and sensations.

  Sam propped himself up on an elbow, pushed the hair off Georgie’s face, and smiled down at her. “I love you,” he whispered, finally finding his voice for what he wanted to say. “I love you so much.”

  Her eyes glistened and she smiled that beautiful smile that he felt belonged to him alone.

  “I know,” she said. “And you have no idea how happy that makes me.”

  Warmt
h blossomed inside him. This felt so right. Here, with Georgie. His tormenter. His love. “I’ll do the best I can to make you happy. Always.”

  “I know you will. I believe in you.”

  Her faith in him was a gift beyond measure. “You have no idea what it does to me to hear you say that.”

  She traced her fingers over his lips, softly, lightly. “You’re mine now, Sam. I’m not letting you go.”

  “There’s no one else I’d rather belong to.” He tucked his head into her shoulder and breathed her in as belonging filled his soul. “You are my home, Georgie. Only you. Always you.”

  She punched him lightly on the arm. “Damn you,” she whispered and he looked up to see tears sliding down her cheeks. “I didn’t want to cry.”

  He grinned at her. “Who’s the hot mess now, huh?”

  “I blame you.” She swiped the tears away and pushed at him until he rolled over. He was still half in and half out of his cammies. Her fingers went to the buttons of his shirt, flicking them free.

  “You’ll have to pay for making me cry,” she said as she opened his shirt and pushed up the T-shirt beneath. Then she sat up and just stared at him before slowly shaking her head. “Wow, who knew a uniform, tattoos, and muscles could be so appealing?”

  She picked up his dog tags where they lay against his skin, fingering the edges. Then she dropped them again and stretched out on top of him.

  “What happened to making me pay?” he asked when she just lay there and hugged him.

  “I’ll get to that,” she murmured against his skin. “Right now, I want this. Just you and me and our hearts beating together.”

  He slid his arms around her and squeezed. “That’s what I want too. Forever.”

  THE END

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