by Ann Patty
“Back at ya sweet Doris. I'll send you pictures via my phone. Don't underestimate my grit. You'll see,” Cairn battered her eyes in the direction of Doris. What a pill Cairn thought.
Saddle Up, Ride the Road
The interstate was the quick, easy way, Cairn decided. She figured about five nights in a motel, each that served a continental breakfast, plus a couple of rest stops along the route would suffice. Along with gas fill ups, Cairn would find herself in cowboy country in no time.
For the most part, the roads looked fine. Depending on the pace set, the approximately 2300 miles were doable for sure. But there was some question about the final directions off I-20 in east central Oregon. Something about looking for a hand written “Cafe” sign off the west side of the highway. Then take the dirt road downward and follow it to the small roadhouse eatery. This would be the destination where Cliff, her cowboy, would pick her up.
Never did Cairn get a picture of Cliff's ranch, let alone his horses, cattle, or the surrounding terrain. Cairn had been so enamored with their three times a week phone calls that she failed to ask the important questions. What if she drives all the way to see Cliff and his physical self repulses her?
Talking on the phone is like the Internet. A person can put up a good facade, but really have nothing to offer thereafter. Maybe Cliff's smooth talking voice was a snare to entrap sex from Cairn. The bottom line was, would her online perceptions measure up? Would she be attracted to Cliff, and perhaps most importantly would he be smitten with her—or her to him? With the miles ahead, Cairn had much to mull over.
The first night in a five star hotel left Cairn questioning her choice of money well spent. Yes, it was a nice place to stay. Worth the money? No. Not because it was not a great place with a breakfast to die for. No, because Cairn only slept in the room six-hours, spent another hour at breakfast and was gone. Cairn had always relished posh spots but the price tag to stay at this resort for only a seven-hour stay did not make sense. Tonight would be different. She would grab a place along the freeway that had a sign hanging out with a cheap sticker price. Cairn rather shuddered at the thought, and then reasoned for all the money she would save she could buy a really great breakfast somewhere else.
Cruising along in her two-year-old, all-wheel drive Subaru, Cairn settled in for a long day's drive. Her phone rang. Cairn pressed the on light to the built in, hands free car system.
“Do you miss me sitting beside you, giving you grief?” Kelly teased.
“Of course not,” Cairn teased back. “Gosh it's only been what? A few hours since I left?”
“Well someone has to check up on you, and that would be my job.”
“Kelly, I do miss you and I'm going to let you in on every single detail as I live this trip,” Cairn paused for a bit. “Kelly, the road—this road is making me ponder things, too many things. Tell me honestly. Do you think I'm nuts to just pick up to go meet a cowboy out in the middle of No-where's-ville?”
“I don't know Cairn. I will say it scares me a bit, but you've been talking to the guy for a while and have gotten a good feel for him, right? I trust your judgment. It has always been solid. I'm thinking, go for it. After all, you are a third of the way there by now,” Kelly talked some sense into Cairn.
Cairn said, “I suppose you are right. You know what I think? I think you should be going to this place instead of me, Kelly. You are actually made for this outback cattle country.”
“What do you mean?” asked Kelly.
“Well, you are a better fit for it. I know I am rambling, but here me out. First you have the athletic build. Look at me. I'm lanky, willowy, I have no substance. Your body is strong, solid, sharp, and focused. You do things; accomplish outdoor stuff, with a purpose. Remember when I visited you on your grandma's farm?” Cairn quizzed.
“Ah, yeah. So where are you going with this thought?” Kelly asked.
“I never told you, but I was amazed at the farm girl in you. I get there and you had just finished digging post-holes, setting twelve posts, and nailing a three rail fence to complete a small corral for your grandma. Who does that? I certainly don't, can't, and won't,” Cairn revealed.
Kelly was amused, and stated, “Really you were that impressed?”
“Oh, impressed doesn't cover it. I admired your grit. And you had the look. In those faded blue jean overalls, and plaid shirt with long sleeves rolled up. And, there was a bit of dirt wiped across your tan face. More than that, you wore a ratty straw cowboy hat with a red bandana around the brim. Your long auburn hair was stuffed up under the hat, but it wasn't staying. Long strands flowed around your face. And your crystal blue eyes were alive, like your were dancing with life. Your perky perfect nose and voluptuous lips, man for the first time in my life I was jealous of you. You were a portrait waiting to be on a magazine cover for sexy farm girls. ”
“Cairn, I'm stunned at your memory recall. Absolutely stunned. You really saw me as a model?” Kelly asked.
“I don't know how to describe capturing that moment. Perhaps it was more about me than you, but your ease and candid relaxation with the farm there kind of swept me up. I really thought that was where you belonged, on your grandparent's farm, or any farm. You were in your element. As for me, it made me realize that we all have our calling. We all best suit where we need to be. I've thought of that moment many times. I don't know why I never said anything to you. Maybe it was not the right time, until now,” Cairn admitted.
“Wow, I'm so glad you said something to me. I never knew that was inside you waiting to come out. Thank you my dear friend Cairn. Yeah, I do love the farm life. I will admit it. Guess I could never figure out how to make a living at it. The numbers always came easy to me, so here I am at the brokerage firm,” Kelly stated thoughtfully. “You know Cairn, if you are having reservations about your online lover fling, don't. It's not forever, only for a few weeks. And you have your car and can drive off in any direction if it doesn't suit you. So enjoy yourself.”
Cairn said in earnest, “Oh, I intend to soak up every ounce of energy out of this vacation. And, yes, I will give the cowboy a good chance. He does sound to be decent, otherwise I would not be traveling all these miles across nowhere to see him.”
“Good,” Kelly paused. “Hey listen, I need to get back to work. I'm on my lunch and still need to eat. So hugs and kisses to you and we'll keep in touch, okay?"
After a rather long 550-mile day Cairn took the first motel right off the freeway. She figured there were a number of cars parked outside, which like a good restaurant, must mean it's decent. Definitely, a down grade from her first night, but the room and bed were clean. It would suit her purpose to crash for the night. The place boasted breakfast served between 7 and 9am each morning. The next morning came too early and Cairn was inclined to get a cup of coffee. Instead, to her surprise a complete spread of fruits, bagels, hotcakes, sausage and bacon, and all the trimmings of breakfast were laid out. So Cairn indulged thinking these off-road motels weren't such a bad bargain after all.
Another day ahead, and Cairn was in her car heading west by 8am. Car trips she had in the past were short ones. This one already was getting old, and she reminded herself that she was going to have to drive it all the way home again. Turning on the tunes, setting the speed to cruise control, kicking off her shoes, and hydrating with her water bottle, helped Cairn to get set for the ride.
Cliff, her cowboy called her the night before.
“Just wondering how you are getting on?” he asked. “Just want to make sure you didn't sneak out on me, is all.”
“I'm good. Thank you for calling Cliff. I'm just really road weary and tired, so I'm settling in for the night,” Cairn explained, hoping she did not come off too curt, but hoping she didn't have to talk to him either. “Cliff, would you mind if we chatted tomorrow from the road? I'm just so beat right now, that I can't think straight.”
“Oh. I see. Sure honey I understand. Hey, I want your first night here special. Do you like a New Yo
rk cut or a prime rib?” Cliff cheerfully chatted on. He was really anticipating Cairn's visit.
Cairn was wondering how to say the next thing when she knew she was going to cattle country. “Well, I'm not to keen on beef Cliff, sorry. I appreciate your effort. I'll tell you what, don't go to any trouble for food. I'll just bring a bunch and we'll figure it out from there. Does that sound okay?”
“Uh, sure, fine. Darn that cow strayed off on the hill. Honey, I'll call you later,” then Cliff hung up.
Cairn thought it strange, but logic told her that Cliff was calling from atop his horse while driving cattle. Shrugging her shoulders, Cairn figured ranch life to probably be always problematic. No matter to her. It was not her world, only one to visit then leave. Really she wondered why she was going there when truthfully, the only possible attraction was maybe a roll in the hay with a cowboy. Kinda self-centered and Cairn was the first to admit to that. But she had no shame and drive on she did.
Circus Town
Along the freeway corridor, Cairn spotted signs for an authentic tent circus today and tomorrow. Now Cairn had never even heard of such a thing so curiosity made her drive up to the parking lot where a huge cream colored tent loomed large. She was mystified, as if an alien ship had just landed before her very eyes.
“Miss, oh miss, you can get tickets for tomorrow's performance over there,” a clown on stilts pointed to the entrance of the ticket booth. Except for a few clowns, apparently all of them soliciting customers like Cairn, the parking lot was vacant.
Cairn naturally found herself at the ticket counter where another clown in red and green greeted her. “We only have one performance that is not sold out sweetie. It's tomorrow at 1pm. Have you ever been too a big tent circus sweetie?” Cairn shook her head no and the clown behind the counter explained, “Our circus is primary animal acts. These animals do incredible feats and it is all natural training. No negative reinforcement is used. Best yet, our proceeds go to help animal welfare organizations. Can I get you a ticket? We have rows four, eight, and fourteen open. This is a great seat in row four for only $27.50. Will that be just one for you?”
Before Cairn knew it, she was holding a ticket to the performance for the next day. She had only driven 200 miles that day and now she was stuck here until probably 4pm the next day. Well, she shrugged her shoulders believing it was her vacation and she could spend it any way she saw fit. And tomorrow, she was going to see a bunch of animals do some spectacular feats.
Cairn found another cheap motel down a corridor of other cheap places to crash. How to pick one from another got difficult and then what did it matter anyway when it was only sleeping time? Cairn went out and found an equally cheap eatery, and had a cheeseburger. It looked to attract the circus clowns, as the place crawled with every color of hair and costume imaginable. Cairn thought her hairdo must have fit right in. She picked up her order and left. In truth, clowns made Cairn uncomfortable. She did not get why anyone would want to dress up and play act in such a ridiculous manner. And, she did not see the irony in her thinking when she went to work in equally gaudy outfits. Except that Cairn regarded her clothing as style, far from the pretense of a circus.
The next day as Cairn waited in the ticket holders line her phone rang. It was Kelly. “Hey, Cairn, how's it going? Okay I'll get right to the point. Doris got herself fired for embezzlement! Can you imagine that?”
“No kidding. The witty witch got hers. Well, good,” Cairn spoke emotionless. Just then her line began to move. “Hey Kelly, I am going into a circus right now. I need to call you back...”
“A what? A circus?” Kelly was amused as her voice got cut off as Cairn ended the call.
And the show went on. Act after act of dogs, horses, tigers, bears, birds, and even kitty cats performed tidy trained feats of courage. After an hour, Cairn got bored with what seemed laborious wonder acts. Cairn had not been raised with any animals, owned none, so she had no appreciation of their spirit. For a non-animal lover, a circus of this nature was difficult to sit through. Cairn's seat was center spotlight. She could not just get up and go without great notice. She had another hour of suffering. As she saw it good road time was being wasted sitting under this tent.
Just then cowboys and Indians raced into the circus circle riding gallant horses. Cairn perked up looking at a certain cowboy, assessing his get up and wondering if that was what Cliff looked like out there on his range. Scrutinizing the saddle, Cairn wondered if she was going to have to figure out how to attach one to a horse. It just dawned on her that maybe she was already in over her head.
The show went until almost five. Cairn questioned whether to drive two hours then turn into a motel or just stay put in this Podunk town one more night. Cairn opted to stay put where she knew motels were plentiful. And even though this was a vacation, Cairn decided that this day in tent hell was a complete and utter waste. Much to her chagrin, Cairn found herself back at the same burger joint again with a bunch of undignified buffoons donning costumes. Once more, she would again take her food out and back to the same flea bitten motel for the night. At that Cairn vowed if she had to stay in that town one more night thereafter, she swore she would lose control and rant unrestrained rhetoric at the next carnival misfit.
After a night too long, on the road once again, Cairn just zoned out. She was feeling antisocial. No calls to Cliff or Kelly today unless they called in. There was too much time to make up from yesterday. To this point, Cairn figured she had gone about thousand miles, which meant another thirteen hundred to go. This could turn into two very long days or three shorter ones. Cairn figured there would be more side trips advertised along the road so if another came up it might be a great way to break up the road miles. And just then her phone rang. Thank goodness for speaker-phones.
“Hi honey, just wanted to see how you are getting on,” Cliff's voice asked.
“Oh, good, good. I went to a circus yesterday under a big tent. It was all about animals,” Cairn relayed.
Cliff was chuckling then said, “Really? That sounds fun. Wish I had been there with you.”
“Fun? Depends on what you call fun. After two plus hours it was torture on my ass,” Cairn spoke plainly with a twist of sarcasm.
Cliff laughed. “Honey you crack me up, really you do. So when do you think you'll get here? What day?”
“Well, I have some miles to go still. I think maybe 3 or 4 more days. Just don't know,” Cairn said.
“Say what? Three or four more days? You could be here by tomorrow, just put your foot on it,” Cliff sounded exasperated.
“No, I don't drive like that, Cliff. I want to get to you in one piece and safely,” Cairn stated bluntly.
“Oh, okay. I understand. Well, can you give me a call when you are one day out, so I know when to expect you?” Cliff pleaded. Then he explained, “I might be out on a cattle drive when you come that is why I want your time frame. So when you come just go to the cafe I told you about and tell anyone there you are looking for me and they will find me. I'll come get you, got it?”
“Okay, I'll do that Cliff. Got to go now. Bye,” Cairn cut the conversation short for lack of any good reason other than the closer she got to Cliff the more she felt hedged in. Somehow, Cairn felt like one of Cliff's cattle being roped into a chute without cause. Yes, this was going to be a challenge to pander to another person's lifestyle, which obvious would continue on when she was there. How was she suppose to fit in, when she knew she so clearly did not? With each road mile closer the more apprehensions Cairn harbored.
That afternoon Kelly called to check in. When the two girls got together, hours of conversation would engulf them. Talk would consume them as if they hadn't spoken for months. Good, best friends were like that. So a couple hours of driving were whisked away by Cairn and Kelly laughing, joking, and talking as old school friends would. Kelly's call to check in boosted Cairn's reticence over her out of character drive to Drewsey, wherever that was. Good, best friends always provided you with the moral su
pport sorely needed.
The day ended in yet another motel. Now these cheap, lifeless, bedrooms were growing old. Cairn was not use to this kind of travel and regretted she did not go by airplane instead. But she was stuck in this travel mode and determined to make the best of it. Tomorrow was another day.