A Winter Moon

by S. J. Smith

  “Don’t worry about it,” Alex says. He’s trying to sound dismissive but, I can tell he’s disappointed. “I can talk to you later, Evie.”

  “Okay,” I answer before standing from my chair and following Simon into his office.

  “Close the door, please,” he says once I’m inside. I do. When I turn around, I expect to see Simon sitting at his desk as usual.

  He’s not there. Instead, he’s moving towards me. There’s a strange look in his eyes and, for some reason, I find myself frozen to the spot in fear.

  “What were you and Alex talking about?” he asks. The question sounds casual but, I can see a look in his eye that I’ve never seen before. It feels almost predatory.

  “Oh, we were just talking about Gabe,” I answer only half honestly. “He’s having a good day, apparently.”

  Simon smiles at me as though he knows I’m not telling the whole truth.

  “He likes you,” Simon says. “You know that, don’t you?”

  “You...you mean Alex?” I ask becoming more and more nervous the closer Simon comes to me. “We’re just friends. We’ve always just been friends.”

  “Maybe that was true when you were younger,” Simon says, now coming so close to me that I can feel his breath on my face. “But, now things have changed. You’ve changed, haven’t you Evie?”

  He’s very close to me now. I’m trying to think of something relatively intelligent to say. Instead, I’m opening and closing my mouth like a fish. Finally, something comes to me.

  “If...if you’re worried about me and Alex keeping things professional—” I begin.

  “Don’t worry, Evie,” Simon says. He’s smiling at me and while we’re closer to each other than we’ve ever been, he doesn’t move any closer. “I’m not worried about being professional. In fact, I would be a little worried if Alex didn’t notice you. You are a beautiful woman.”

  He reaches his hand out to me and lightly strokes my hair. I can smell the cologne he is wearing, wafting from his wrist. He smells amazing and as I look up into his dark eyes, I realize what might be about to happen. Butterflies erupt in my stomach as Simon does indeed take my cheek in his palm.

  When I feel his thumb move over my cheek, I involuntarily close my eyes. I know I shouldn’t give into this.

  I try to remember Alex, what he was about to ask me before Simon got a hold of me, but then, I feel Simon close the small gap between us and put his lips on mine.

  His lips are every bit as warm and soft as I imagined they would be. Before I know it, I’m kissing him back.

  But, just as I begin to respond, I hear the door to the office open. Immediately I jump away from Simon and turn to see Alex.

  I feel heat rush up my face as I turn to look at him. He stares back at me. His eyes aren’t wide. He doesn’t look shocked or embarrassed.

  Instead, his lips are pursed closed and his face has once again gone pale. I can see an entirely forced, neutral expression in it.

  Behind his green eyes is something else. Something that looks very much like hurt.

  “I didn’t mean to interrupt,” he said quietly, “I just wanted to talk to Simon about the new software design.”

  “Don’t worry, you’re not interrupting. I’m free to talk now,” Simon says easily moving from me over to his desk, “Evie, thanks. You can close the door on your way out.”

  He sits down behind the desk and barely lifts his eyes to look at me. It’s as if nothing happened at all. As if all Alex interrupted was Simon dictating some memo to me.

  I open my mouth, but no words come out. Instead, I nod slowly and rush out the door. Just before I make it out, I catch Alex’s eyes.

  That hurt look is still there as he returns my gaze. I can see little pools of water settling in as though he’s about to cry. I put my head down and rush out of the door and back to the safety of my desk.

  I take two deep breaths as I try to work through what’s just happened. It’s all a little bit of an emotional blur. My heart beats in a too-fast rhythm and there’s still a half lustful, half embarrassed flush on my face.

  I spend the rest of the day in a silent stupor. Wondering what on earth I am going to do now

  *****

  I rush into work this morning my head bowed as I make my way through the private glass doors and to my desk. I don’t think I can stand to face either Alex or Simon today. I would have no idea what to do or say or how to behave.

  Right now I wish I was one of those beautiful confident girls who are always ready with the perfect witty remark or retort. They know just when to lead a man on and just when to turn him down with a self-respecting huff.

  The insecure little fat girl still locked inside of my newly thin body doesn’t know these rules. I’m still not used to being flirted with. Let alone propositioned or kissed in my boss’s office.

  So, I put my head down and try, as hard as I can to throw myself into my work. I find that it’s almost worked until the glass door opens and I jump.

  I turn, pale-faced to see both Simon and Alex coming in together, though Simon’s at the front. That’s odd. They rarely come to work at the same time. Simon’s almost always late and Alex is usually here before I am.

  All the same, I smile and try to be as natural as possible.

  “Good morning,” I say a little too brightly.

  “‘Morning, Evie,” Simon says with a genuine natural smile that makes me wonder how he does it. How is he able to go through something like what happened yesterday and act like everything’s fine?

  “Alex and I are going to have a short meeting in my office,” Simon says. “If anyone calls for either of us, please take a message.”

  “Sure,” I answer.

  “Thanks,” he says barely looking at me as he strides confidently towards his office.

  Alex follows. As he passes my desk he does look at me. I feel half guilty and half relieved to see him give me an awkward grimace as he passes. I feel guilty that he caught me with Simon and relieved that at least I’m not the only one feeling awkward about it.

  Alex closes the door to Simon’s office behind him and I spend the next few minutes waiting. I don’t know why, but I have a feeling that this top secret meeting has something to do with me.

  This is confirmed when the intercom beeps, causing me to jump again.

  “Evie,” Simon’s voice calls out on the intercom.

  “Yes?” I answer.

  “Would you join us in here for a minute, please?”

  I hop out of my seat and enter the office, my heart hammering in my chest.

  Simon is sitting at his desk. Alex stands next to him, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. He is looking determinately away from me.

  “Sit down Evie,” Simon says, gesturing to a chair just in front of the desk.

  “Is something wrong?” I ask, slowly taking a seat. Maybe they’ve decided that it’s too complicated having me as an assistant. Maybe they decided that it isn’t worth the trouble to keep me on.

  “No, nothing’s wrong,” Simon says. “We just want to have a little chat about your brother.”

  “Is...is something wrong with Gabe?” I ask, shocked. “Has he done something wrong?”

  “No, it’s nothing like that,” Simon answers. “It’s just...we’ve got too many designers on staff for our budget to justify right now. And, we’re going to have to let some of them go.”

  “But...I thought Gabe was doing well,” I say looking to Alex who was still looking determinately away from me. “He just designed a new software program—”

  “Our other two designers have done well too,” Simon says gently. “What we need is a reason to keep Gabe on over one of them.”

  I look over to Alex, surprised and not a little upset that he’s not saying anything. Not sticking up for his friend. When he still doesn’t look at me, I turn, reluctantly, back to Simon.

  “What does this have to do with me?” I ask. I can feel my fingers beginning to scratch nervously at the undersid
e of my chair handles.

  “Well,” Simon says. He stands and moves around the desk and towards my chair. I feel the hairs on the back of my neck begin to rise. “Given what...happened here yesterday, I think it’s safe to say that you’re attracted to me.”

  This is not a question. Even if it was, I would not answer it. I stay stiff and still in my chair. Silently, I look over to Alex, hoping that he will save me from his partner.

  He doesn’t say a word. But, he has raised his eyes from the floor. Now, he’s watching me and Simon, as though he’s keeping watch over us.

  “And, as I said yesterday,” Simon goes on, “I know Alex is attracted to you. So, I thought that the three of us might come to a kind of… arrangement.”

  “What kind of arrangement?” I ask in a small voice, forcing myself to look Simon in the eye. He gives me a good-natured chuckle and steps closer to me.

  “Evie,” he says, “I think we all know the answer to that.”

  To emphasize the point, he moves his hand to touch my cheek the same way he had the day before. For a moment, I think he’s going to close the gap and kiss me again. Before he can, Alex finally speaks up.

  “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Evie,” he says, loudly giving me a chance to take a step back from Simon, “you can say no.”

  “So...just to be clear…” I begin slowly looking between them, “you want me to...sleep with you? I mean with both of you?”

  “Alex and I talked it over,” Simon answers, “And, it’s something we’d like you to consider.”

  “Don’t worry about it if you don’t want to,” Alex cuts in again. “You’ll still have a job if you say no. Your answer won’t change that.”

  “But, if I say no,” I say moving towards the window in the room and not looking at either of them, “then, you might let Gabe go.”

  “It’s a possibility,” Simon says. I hear him move towards me and I stiffen again. He puts his hands on my shoulders. “But, if you say ‘yes’, we can guarantee that both your jobs are safe.”

  I move away from Simon and look over at Alex. His eyes are downcast again. He looks as confused and torn as I feel. All the same, when I think about what he and Simon are proposing ,when I think about what they’re willing to do if I say no, I can’t help but feel a swell of angry resentment towards Simon on behalf of Gabe.

  Even before this moment, I could easily have pictured Simon behaving like this. Despite my attraction to him, I always knew that he had a sleazy and even slightly dangerous side.

  But, Alex has been Gabe’s friend since high school. The idea that he would so easily threaten to fire him unless I agree to this ‘arrangement’ with him and his partner makes me more furious with him than I am with Simon.

  Even so, I know that my brother can’t lose his job. He has a wife, and a baby on the way. They won’t be able to function if he’s not employed. I know what my answer has to be.

  I send a harsh glare at Alex before steeling myself and turning back to Simon.

  “Okay,” I say to him, “I’ll do it.”

  *****

  We agree to meet at Simon’s apartment for “drinks” late that evening. I was expected to have eaten beforehand. Simon made it very clear that this was not courtship. There would be little romantic or refined in this. It was a business arrangement.

  I am to do whatever Simon or Alex wanted any time they call for me. Of course, I could break the arrangement at any time. But, as soon as I did, my brother was free to be laid off. And me too, I suspected.

  So, I take a cab to the fancy apartment building on the Upper East Side where Simon lives.

  I stand on the corner staring up at the building for several moments before going in. Now, standing at the front door of Simon’s penthouse apartment on the top floor, I feel a thousand times more nervous than I did on my first day of work.

  I knock.

  To my surprise, it’s not Simon but Alex who answers the door. He looks smart as usual. But, less formal.

  He’s not wearing a suit jacket like he does at work. Instead, he’s in a button down shirt with several of the top buttons left undone, revealing a smooth, tanned chest.

  My stomach ties in knots when I realize that I will be seeing a lot more of that chest very, very soon.

  “You look beautiful,” he says, taking in my low-cut green dress. It’s the most sensual dress I have and even then, it barely hugs my curves.

  He smiles at me and I almost smile back before I remember that I should still be furious with him.

  I pull my face into a frown and move into the room without looking back at him.

  “Look, Evie. If you don’t want to—”

  “Where’s Simon?" I ask cutting him off loudly.

  “He’s upstairs,” Alex answers. I hear him moving towards me but, I still don’t turn to look at him. “His girlfriend’s in Florida. She called him out of the blue to see how he was doing.”

  My eyes widen in shock and I turn finally to look at Alex. It only takes a moment to realize I should have expected something like this. If both of them were treating me like a whore they probably had real girlfriends stashed away somewhere.

  “I take it she doesn’t know about our little agreement,” I say sarcastically.

  “That’s a safe assumption,” he says. “No one knows but us.”

  “I see,” I answer. “So, I’m the dirty little secret.”

  “For Simon,” Alex says moving towards me again. “Not for me.”

  He’s looking at me with that confused, torn look again. The one that almost makes me feel sorry for him. But, then I remember why I’m here.

  “So, you’re going to just go in on Monday and tell everyone that you’re sleeping with me?” I ask skeptically.

  “I would if I could,” Alex says. “But…”

  “But, what?” I ask. “You’re the one who thought up this whole ‘arrangement’, right?”

  “No,” Alex answers. “This whole thing was Simon’s idea. I didn’t really want any part of it, but…”

  “But?” I press, though I can’t think of anything he might say that would redeem him in my mind.

  “I didn’t want him to hurt you,” Alex says. I pause, a sarcastic retort, prepped and ready dies on my lips. Alex continues.

  “I’ve seen him do this kind of thing to women before,” he tells me. “He uses them and then gets tired of them and tosses them out. So, when he asked if I wanted to...at first I didn’t, but then...I thought about you. I would never want to see you treated like that. Then I thought that, maybe, if I were...involved...I could...I don’t know. Protect you.”

  “So, you just did this to protect me?” I ask. I’m not certain if I should feel relieved or disappointed. On the one hand, if this is true, Alex is not a horny douchebag. On the other, if the only reason he agreed to this was for my protection, then that could mean that he’s just a big brother looking after little sister.

  “Well…” Alex begins, “it’s not just that. It’s—”

  “God, she would not stop yammering,” I almost gasp when Simon’s voice issues from the stairwell. When he appears, he gives me a pleased grin.

  “Evie!” he says. “Sorry I missed your grand entrance. That is a hot little number.”

  He gazes lecherously up and down my body before suggesting that we all sit down for a glass of wine before ‘getting down to business’. And there’s an awkward tension surrounding the stilted conversation.

  The only one who seems to be thoroughly enjoying himself is Simon. He’s laughing and telling stories that Alex and I are hardly listening to.

  Eventually, his hand on my knee slowly starts to ride up my skirt. He leans over and places a kiss on my neck as his hand moves further upward.

  He jumps and moves away when he hears Alex loudly clear his throat.

  “We should probably move this to the bedroom,” Alex says moving over to me and holding out his hand to help me up from the couch.

  “I knew you were going
to be too traditional for me,” Simon mutters. All the same, he follows us up the stairs, occasionally grabbing at my ass or moving up to kiss my neck again.

  We reach the bedroom and Alex pulls me inside. Just before Simon can reach us, Alex wraps his arms around me and kisses me tenderly, softly on the lips.

  Suddenly all my silly little adolescent fantasies come back to me as I open my mouth to return his kiss.

  He moves his lips from mine and they press against my ear.

  “Remember, I’m right here,” Alex whispers to me. “No matter what he tries to do to you, I’ll keep you safe.”

  As soon as these words are said, I feel my arm being tugged. Simon grabs hold of me and pulls me away from Alex.

  “Last time I’m letting you lead her up, Alex,” Simon says. He wraps his hands around my waist and places them firmly on my bottom. I gasp as he presses me to him and I can feel his very long member, fully erect and pressed against me through his pants.

  “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you wanted her all for yourself,” Simon says directing the words to Alex, even though they’re spoken right above my lips.

  He presses his lips down on mine and forcefully, desperately opens my mouth with his tongue.

  This is not like Alex’s kiss. It is not gentle or tender. It is a kiss based in pure, undiluted lust.

  His lips have moved to nibble along my jawline as he pulls me towards the bed. He moves away from as he flops down onto it. I’m left standing beside him, unsure of what to do, when I feel Alex come towards me.

  He wraps an arm gently around my waist and pulls me into him as he nuzzles his face in my hair for a moment. Against my backside, I can feel his member too as he moves his lips once again to my ear.

  “Don’t be nervous, Evie,” he whispers, “it’s all right. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  “Alex,” Simon barks. “Come over here and watch the show.”

  I can tell it’s an order, not a request. Apparently, Alex can too. He moves his warm strong arm from my waist and hesitantly leaves my side to go to the bed.