No Laughing Matter: Lennox Brothers Romantic Comedy

by Hunter, Talia

  I was so wet. So ready for him.

  I needed his fingers to move between my thighs and caress me where I ached.

  “Mason.” I let out a little moan. “Will you—”

  “Hello,” said an amused female voice from behind me. “It’s almost eight o’clock in the morning. At this hour, I wouldn’t have thought there’d still be a full moon visible.”

  I turned my head to see Nurse Bartlew with twinkling eyes, pressing her lips together in an obvious attempt not to laugh as she gazed pointedly at my naked buttocks.

  Mason fumbled blindly for the ends of the hospital gown and tried to pull them together to hide my modesty. He clearly had a mistaken belief that I had some modesty. Maybe he hadn’t seen my World Naked Day photos.

  “Hello.” He nodded at Nurse Bartlew over my shoulder. “I’m Mason Lennox. A friend of Carlotta’s.”

  “I can see that. In fact, from here I can see almost everything.”

  I laughed, rolling off Mason. “I’m feeling much better now.”

  “Really?” she said dryly, giving Mason an appreciative look. “For some reason I don’t find that surprising.”

  “Carlotta?” My mother appeared through the curtain behind the nurse, and stopped dead when she saw Mason. “What are you doing here?”

  Nurse Bartlew lifted her clipboard so it hid her mouth, but her eyes still smiled. “It looked like he was about to land on the moon.”

  I tried not to giggle and failed miserably.

  “Nice to see you, Trixie.” Mason extracted himself from the narrow bed. “I presume you’re here to take Carlotta home? I was just leaving.”

  “Are you discharging me?” I asked the nurse.

  “The doctor will be here soon, so you can ask her. But I’d be surprised if she refused, considering how he’s been feeling you. I mean, considering how much better you’re feeling.” She shot me a wink and bustled out.

  Mom frowned at Mason, then at me. The hard candy in her mouth made a loud cracking sound as she bit down on it. She seemed to do that a lot when Mason was around.

  “Thank you for visiting,” I said to Mason. “Please come again soon.”

  He caught the innuendo in my tone, and his lips quirked. “I’d like to.”

  “Will I see you later?” I asked.

  “Kade’s visiting from LA, so we’re having a family dinner tonight at my father’s house.” Then he raised his eyebrows. “Would you both like to come?” He looked from me to Mom. “I’m sure Kade won’t mind cooking for a couple extra, and we can squeeze around Dad’s dining table.”

  Candy cracked even louder. “If you think I’m setting foot in Edward Lennox's house, you’re even less intelligent than you look.”

  “Mom.” I sighed. “Please be nice.”

  “Carlotta can’t go anywhere. She needs to rest for twenty-four hours.” Mom folded her arms. “Doctor’s orders.”

  Even though I felt fine, she was probably right. Best to be cautious.

  “Rain check?” I asked.

  “Okay.” When he bent to kiss me, he murmured, “I’ll message you.”

  “You’d better.” I gave him a beaming smile, because I couldn’t help myself. He made me feel foolishly happy.

  He’d barely left when my phone beeped. When I read the message, I laughed.

  Miss me yet?

  I typed a message back to Mason.

  Who is this? Wait. It’s the pizza delivery guy, right? I miss your delicious anchovies.

  A moment later my phone beeped again.

  I’ll bring you all the pizza you want if you steal that hospital gown.

  You should know that I can eat a lot of pizza.

  And I have a moon rocket ready for launch.

  Mom was watching me from the foot of the bed with her arms folded. “Are you two dating?” she demanded.

  I turned my smile onto her. “You know what? I think we might be.”

  Even the sharp, angry crack of her candy couldn’t dampen my glow.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Mason

  As I’d officially stepped back from the surveillance operation, I was trying to steer clear. But Asher’s spare bedroom was still in use by the local team, and when I got home from the hospital I saw the DEA agent who Griffin had sent to replace me was there, so I pulled him aside for a status report.

  “All we know for sure is that Santino’s going to bring a shipment from Mexico, hidden in a vehicle that’ll come through the Tijuana border crossing,” he said. “His cousin installs secret compartments into cars.”

  “Nothing like keeping business in the family.”

  He grunted agreement. “There are a few possible couriers we’re looking into. Four guys who’ve worked for Santino for years. Faith, the office manager, who could be faking her injury. And a couple of others, including some new girl Santino’s roped in. The team watching his office says she seems green. Santino might use her because she’s less likely to get searched at the border. Or she might be too much of a risk. We’re not sure yet.”

  “Where will you intercept?’

  “Santino will have the courier bring the shipment to his house. Frankie should be on hand, wanting to get paid. Once Santino’s tested the product, he’ll give it to his distributors and we’re hoping they’ll be there too. Time it right, and we should be able to bring them all down at once.”

  I grinned. “All tied up with a neat bow.”

  “We’re expecting it to happen soon, and we could use your help. Could be a dozen or so armed men in the house. We’re planning to have the same number, but one more on our side wouldn’t be unwelcome.”

  “I’ve been ordered to stay out of sight. But I’ll be armed and ready, watching from here.” I motioned to the window. “If it looks like you need me, I won’t hesitate.” To hell with Griffin’s order. If it came to a shootout, there was no way I’d stand back and watch cops die.

  “We’re hoping it’ll be an easy bust. A blood bath wouldn’t be Santino’s style. He’s white collar. Doesn’t like getting his hands dirty.”

  I nodded, agreeing with his assessment. “Frankie’s the wild card. He’s been around a long time and isn’t as stupid as he seems. But his ego’s bigger than his brain, and he’s been taking too much of his own product. Few months ago he shot his way out of a meeting that went sour, and he’s starting to believe he’s bulletproof.”

  “You’ve been doing your research.”

  “With him, it’s personal. I knew him years ago. Been waiting a long time to see him go down.”

  When Mom took me and my brothers to Mexico, at first things hadn’t been so bad. Mom had rented an apartment and had some casual work at a restaurant, where she hooked up with a chef who turned out to be a positive influence. Though we were barely scraping by and Mom’s earnings were so low we couldn’t afford much in the way of food, Mom’s boyfriend would cook us a lavish meal each week on his night off. My brothers learned a trick they used to hustle a few dollars from tourists. And when we were really hungry and Mom was working late, I’d creep out to steal food and money.

  If only Mom’s moods weren’t so unpredictable, everything might have carried on like that and been okay. But after she blew up at her boyfriend once too often, he walked out for good.

  Then Mom had met Frankie. She started spending time at his place, getting high. His drugs drove our already unstable mother over the edge, and things had eventually hit rock bottom when she locked Kade, Asher, and me inside the apartment and didn’t come back. After three days, Asher had managed to get us out, but he’d broken his arm doing it.

  And by then they’d found Mom’s body, a needle still stuck in her vein.

  “Frankie has a lot to answer for,” I said, my voice almost a growl.

  The agent nodded as if he understood. “We’ll get him.”

  How’s your head? I messaged Carlotta before heading to Dad’s place. Are you resting?

  Going to bed. Come over and tuck me in?

  Don�
��t tempt me. Going to Dad’s for dinner. I’ll think of you right next door.

  You could climb in my window.

  If I were still sixteen, I’d jump at the idea. Even now, it was far more tempting than it should be.

  What are you wearing? Maybe it was a juvenile question, but if her answer was ‘Spock panties and a hospital gown’, she might find me at her window whether she was being serious or not.

  Nothing but an alluring smile.

  I groaned aloud. She was killing me. I had to change the subject before I really did skip dinner and risk the wrath of Trixie by barging my way in.

  What are you doing tomorrow? It wasn’t until after I hit Send that I thought better of arranging anything for the next couple of days. Bad idea to be in the middle of something I couldn’t slip away from when the team swooped on Santino’s house to make arrests.

  But once Santino and Frankie were in custody, Griffin would expect me in Houston. Carlotta and I didn’t have much time left.

  My phone dinged. I promised to work tomorrow. Like God, I only had one day to rest. Though I’m pretty sure He usually works longer hours than I do.

  I thought for a moment before replying.

  I’d like to take you somewhere special on Monday night.

  On a date? Will you pick me up? Should I dress up? Will you wear a cute bow tie and promise Mom you’ll have me home by ten?

  I smiled as I typed my reply. Yes. Yes. Yes. No.

  It could well be our last night together. I’d wine and dine her, and give us both a night to remember forever.

  If only I could visit her tonight. Knowing she was so close was a unique kind of torture. Still, it was great to see Kade again.

  My brother met me just inside my father’s front door and grabbed me in a bear hug. Though Kade was only a few minutes younger than Asher, I thought of him as the baby of the family.

  Those two were about as far from identical as it was possible to get. Asher was dark, and Kade was light. Asher was serious, Kade was a prankster. Asher rarely showed what he was feeling, while Kade had the kind of infectious laugh it was impossible not to like.

  I suspected the success of his TV cooking shows might owe more to Kade’s easy charm than his culinary abilities. Although his culinary abilities were impressive.

  “What’s that smell?” I sniffed the air and my stomach rumbled in appreciation.

  Kade dropped his voice. “I made a vegan dinner. Don’t tell Dad. If nobody says anything, he’ll think he’s eating meat.”

  “Good luck with that. Dad’s never met a vegetable he didn’t hate on sight.”

  “That’s because he hasn’t tried them the way I cook them. I bet I can turn him into a super fan.”

  “I’ll take that bet. If Dad doesn’t clean his plate, you lose. Which means you’ll have to make me a mushroom omelet for breakfast.” I stuck out my hand, challenging him to shake on the deal. Kade’s offer of a bet obviously hadn’t been serious, but my brother never turned down a challenge and I had a serious craving for one of his world-famous mushroom omelets.

  Sure enough, he shook my hand with a grin. “And if I win?”

  “You won’t win. I’ve been stocking Dad’s freezer with healthy food, and he refuses to eat it. There’s no way he’ll finish a vegan meal.”

  My brother cocked his head, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. Not that Kade had any other kind of smile. He liked cooking up mischief even more than meals, and for a professional chef, that was saying a lot.

  “If Dad eats his spaghetti, I want to hear about Carlotta Watson.”

  I blinked. “Excuse me?”

  “Asher told me you’ve been seeing her.”

  “Never thought Asher was a gossip.”

  “You’re the one who suggested the wager, and that’s my price. I want every indelicate detail.” He clapped me on the back. “Now come in and have a beer.”

  When we went into Dad’s small dining room, Asher and Dad were sitting at the table. Kade took the seat next to Asher, and they both sipped their beers in unison. They may not look the same, but there were odd moments when their mannerisms matched.

  “How’s your surveillance going, Mason?” asked Kade. “Your team close to bagging the bad guys?”

  I looked at Asher, aware that he was anxious to be rid of Santino, even if he wouldn’t tell me why. “The local team expect the shipment to arrive in the next day or two, and they’re getting ready to move in.”

  “Good to see you doing something for your mother,” said Dad approvingly. I’d told him the bare minimum about why I was in San Dante, but he’d been enthusiastic when I’d mentioned I planned to arrest the dealer who’d sold drugs to Mom.

  “Some kind of justice,” agreed Kade. If I didn’t know him so well, I might not have noticed the way his jaw tightened. But whenever our mother’s name came up, Kade’s normally easy-going nature grew a hard edge. He’d suffered most in Mexico, because Mom had singled him out for special treatment. He’d been her baby, but only when she was able to be a mother. Her neglect had hit him hardest.

  And what had I done to help him?

  I grabbed a beer and took a seat at the table, cutting off that train of thought. Going through all the things I should have done differently was pointless. While we were together, I just wanted to enjoy the company of my brothers.

  “A toast to Mom.” Asher lifted his beer bottle, his piercing gaze meeting mine as though he knew exactly what I was thinking. “In spite of her difficulties, I like to believe she tried to do the best she could. And I know for sure that the rest of us did.”

  “To Mom.” We lifted our beer bottles, echoing the toast before we drank.

  “Tell me about your TV show,” Dad said to Kade. “Have you met anyone famous?”

  “Kade’s the famous one,” said Asher, before Kade could reply. “He has fans who wait outside the studio door, lining up for his autograph.”

  “How do you know?” I asked.

  “I visited him on set a few weeks ago. He was mobbed when he left the studio, and I had to stand back or risk being crushed.”

  Kade slung his arm over the back of his chair. “Ignore him, he’s exaggerating. And to answer your question, Dad, I’ve met a few celebrities. Who do you want to know about?”

  They talked about famous people for a while, then Kade got up to serve the meal.

  “Spaghetti and meatballs,” he said, putting steaming plates in front of each of us. “And there’s salad for on the side.”

  Dad curled his lip at the salad, but dug into the spaghetti with enthusiasm. I had plenty of both. The spaghetti sauce was melt-in-the-mouth delicious, with plenty of garlic and spices.

  “Do you like it, Dad?” asked Kade, giving me a pointed look.

  “Delicious,” Dad said with his mouth full. “What’s this meat? Beef or lamb?”

  “Jackfruit?” asked Asher. “Or some kind of mushroom and lentil mix?”

  Kade shot him a glare, giving his head a small shake.

  “What’s that? This doesn’t have vegetables in it, does it?” Dad peered down suspiciously.

  “Vegetables can taste good,” said Kade. “You might be surprised.”

  Dad snorted. “I know how vegetables taste.” He took another big mouthful of spaghetti.

  Kade flashed me his mischievous grin. “So, Mason. You promised to tell me all about your dates with Carlotta Watson.”

  Dad choked on his food. He coughed and spluttered, pounded his chest, then drank some water. When he could talk again he growled, “I told you to keep away from the Watsons. The whole family’s unhinged.”

  “Be nice, Dad,” I warned.

  “Don’t leave any details out.” Kade put both elbows on the table, leaning in. “Is Carlotta still cute?”

  “Cute?” I shook my head. “Gorgeous. And remember how funny she used to be? Times that by ten. Or more.”

  “What does she do for a job?”

  “Empowering women. Helping girls feel good about the
mselves.” I heard the pride in my voice, but couldn’t manage to tone it down. “And I watched her direct a group of kids at the Spotlight Theater. She was incredible.”

  Kade and Asher exchanged a pointed glance.

  “See,” said Asher. “He’s a goner.”

  “You were right,” agreed Kade. “One of our own has fallen.”

  “When he talks about her, he gets puppy eyes.”

  “I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it for myself.”

  I put down my fork so I could give my full attention to glaring at them. “There’s nothing the least bit puppyish about my eyes.”

  Kade whimpered like a dog, and Asher choked on a suppressed laugh.

  “Stop,” I ordered. “You think you’re funny, but you’re not.”

  “Bad dog,” muttered Kade, and my brothers both pinched their lips together, their eyes dancing.

  I sighed. “Okay, get it out of your systems. Let me know when you’re finished.”

  “Don’t get embarrassed. It’s perfectly natural to look pathetic when you’re head over heels.” Kade reached over to pile more salad onto his plate.

  Asher nodded. “That’s right. Don’t feel bad for making a fool of yourself.”

  “I can’t be head over heels,” I pointed out. “With my job, I can’t even have a girlfriend.”

  “Good,” growled Dad. “Because you’re not dating the Watson girl. I won’t allow it.”

  “You won’t allow it?” I let out a disbelieving laugh. “You don’t get a say.”

  “There are billions of other girls in the world. Pick one.”

  “You just made me want to date her.” I wagged my fork at him. “If we end up getting married, it’ll be thanks to you. Because you tried to forbid it.”

  Dad’s face was turning red. “There’s no way you’re marrying a Watson. I won’t be related to that harpy next door.”

  “Keep talking, Dad. You’ll be seated next to Trixie at our wedding. You’ll have to thank her in your speech.”

  “I’ll do no such thing!”