For the First Time

by Stephanie Doyle

  Only it didn’t sound like he believed her. “I don’t!” This was loud enough to earn a shush from the woman on her right.

  JoJo sank a little farther into her seat and closed her mouth, figuring it wasn’t fair to those around her that she was having a bit of a mental meltdown.

  Yesterday, she’d purposefully stayed away from Mark and Sophie. Only showing up for the performance and leaving after it. She had an excuse: signing a lease on her new apartment, which was month to month so she wasn’t stuck with it once she was officially out of work. Sophie understood. But Mark made chicken noises when she finally turned up.

  Not that he seemed to care that she didn’t want to meet them for breakfast before the matinee today, either. No, he’d even suggested she take the day off completely. However, Sophie was her job and JoJo had no plans to shirk her responsibility just because she had a…thing? Crush? Attraction? Potential future relationship with said job’s father?

  What was she thinking? She’d never wanted a relationship. A relationship implied commitment. Two people making a life together. That came way too close to family for her.

  She wanted nothing to do with family after what had happened to hers. Certainly she didn’t want the responsibility or the crushing heartbreak of having children only to lose a child or see them harmed.

  It was one of the reasons her celibacy didn’t bother her as much as other women, who cared about things like procreation. Celibacy, a word completely preferable to virgin. Virgin made JoJo feel like some desperate heroine from a Regency novel who needed to be saved. She did not need to be saved.

  No, the idea of getting involved in a committed relationship wasn’t possible for her. Inevitably the question would be asked. What was the next step? Marriage. Babies. For JoJo there was no next step. There never would be.

  JoJo peeked at Mark; his attention seemed to be absorbed in the musicians’ performance.

  So what did she want from him?

  Nothing. It was all she could have. And because of the acknowledged attraction between them, they couldn’t even continue to be coworkers. Which really sucked, because even though it had only been a couple of weeks she really liked working with him.

  Maybe the best idea was for him to date Nancy. Maybe if he started going out with the tutor then JoJo would get over whatever this crazy feeling was. If he was over her, and she was over him, then maybe he would reconsider her employment.

  There was only one problem with that scenario.

  It meant he had to actually date Nancy. Become involved with her. Be attracted to her. Kiss her.

  Nancy, who was in every respect the polar opposite of JoJo.

  Was it possible for a man to be attracted to two distinctly different women?

  Who was she kidding? A man might be attracted to someone for any number of reasons. Even a woman with barbed-wire tattoos around her neck.

  The music grew louder, then they reached the end and the applause followed. JoJo felt an odd burst of pride when Sophie took her bow and the audience immediately rose to their feet.

  It was silly, of course. She had nothing to do with this girl’s talent. Still, she felt like she’d come to know her and through knowing her she recognized what an awesome thing Sophie did every time she took the stage. The way she captured an audience and held them in her hands simply by letting the music tell its story.

  After the audience began to filter out, Mark reached for JoJo’s hand.

  Instantly she snapped it back. “What are you doing?”

  “Leading you backstage so we can meet Sophie in her dressing room.”

  “You couldn’t have just said that?”

  “I could. But I like holding your hand. It’s small and delicate. So much like you.”

  JoJo sneered.

  “Fine. No hand-holding. I guess that just leaves kissing.”

  “I thought you were thinking of kissing Nancy.” That didn’t sound like jealousy at all.

  “Nope. Dating her. Kissing you. Will you come on, I don’t like having her out of my sight.”

  It didn’t alleviate his fears that Sophie would be surrounded by fellow musicians. It was possible that one of those musicians was the author of the notes.

  After making their way through the throng of stagehands and performers, they finally reached Sophie’s dressing room. Bay was with her, not surprisingly, and JoJo wondered if Mark was about to confront Bay directly about the notes. He’d already told her that he hadn’t done it yesterday, with no time before the performance and afterward Bay had left with this parents.

  “Bay,” Mark said as he entered the room. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  The young man stood from where he had been sitting on the couch, his instrument tucked in its case next to him.

  “Mr. Sharpe. Mark.”

  “We’re going to take Sophie out to eat and we’d like you to join us if you can make it.”

  “You would?” His surprise was evident.

  “Really?” Sophie’s beaming smile actually made Mark flinch. JoJo figured he probably wasn’t used to making his daughter this happy and now he’d done it twice. Even though JoJo knew this was less about getting to know Bay and more about interrogating him.

  “Yeah. Sophie can pick the place.”

  “Oh, my gosh, there is this new fusion place that does both Thai and Indian—it’s supposed to be amazing.” The girl was on her toes with excitement. Then she immediately started biting on her nails. “If that’s okay with you, Bay.”

  “Sounds awesome.”

  Mark shrugged. “Sounds good to me, too.”

  “Just give me a few minutes to change.”

  After everyone stepped outside the dressing room to give Sophie her privacy, Bay turned and offered a hand to Mark. “Thank you, sir. I appreciate you allowing me to be part of Sophie’s life…as a friend.”

  Mark smiled, but JoJo could see there was something feral in it. She wanted to tell Bay to run, but she also wanted her theory about the notes addressed. She was sure Mark would get his answers, the question was how much he would damage Sophie’s trust to get them.

  “What are you planning?” JoJo asked as soon as Bay turned the corner of the hallway.

  Mark looked at her and she really didn’t like his expression. The smile was gone, replaced by a coldness she’d never seen in him before, even though he’d told her it existed.

  Mark sighed then as if a great weight had been placed on his shoulders. “I’m going to do what I have to. You need to understand that about me. It’s not that I can be ruthless, it’s what I am.”

  “Are you trying to scare me?” Which she would never admit to him, but if he was, it was working.

  “No, I’m trying to warn you.”

  *

  LESS THAN AN hour later they were settled into a booth with ten different plates on the table. Sophie had ordered what seemed to be one of everything, but no one was complaining since the food tasted so good.

  JoJo waited for Mark to pounce on Bay but for the most part he kept the conversation pretty innocuous. They were seated together on the same side of the booth and JoJo had to work to make sure no parts of her touched any parts of him. Every once in a while she would feel his thigh bumping hers but given the limited size of the booth it was hard to know if it was intentional or not.

  At one point, when his thigh lingered and seemed to rub against hers, she concluded it was intentional and shot him a dirty look. He, of course, feigned innocence. When she turned back to the food she could see Sophie looking at her. Then at Mark, as if assessing their nonverbal communication.

  “Greg! What a surprise!”

  Mark jumped to his feet. A tall lean man with dark hair approached the booth.

  “Mark, good to see you.” The man smiled.

  “Please pull up a chair, we’ve got so much food ten people couldn’t eat all of this.”

  Greg pulled up a chair at the end of the booth and settled his length into it. JoJo could now firmly feel Mark pr
essed against her side and it distracted her from thinking about who Greg was.

  “Greg and I know each other through Ben. He works for the Tyler Group.”

  JoJo instantly ran down the list of people she knew who were contracted with the Tyler Group. She had done research on the team when she thought she was going to interview with the legendary Ben Tyler before being passed along to Mark. She knew each member of the group and their particular talents. The part-troubleshooting, part-investigating group contracted with a number of really smart people for various tasks. Some were investigators, some were subject matter experts and one person in particular was a former psychologist who also happened to be an expert in the physiology of lying.

  What a coincidence.

  “Greg, that’s my daughter, Sophie, and this is Bay…her friend.”

  Greg nodded to both of them. Then turned his attention to JoJo sitting in the corner. “And you are?”

  “We’ll get to JoJo in a second,” Mark said, halting the introductions. “Bay, Sophie may or may not have told you about some notes I received.”

  Bay looked at Sophie and shifted uncomfortably. “She did, sir. I don’t know if she wasn’t supposed to say anything, but we talked about it a few times, trying to think of why someone might send them. Stuff like that.”

  Mark looked at Bay, directly dismissing his daughter’s distress.

  “Bay, did you write those notes?”

  “Mark, what are you doing?”

  “Sophie, I need you be quiet for a second.”

  “Bay, did you send me a note saying that I was going to lose her?”

  His jaw fell open and he stammered for a few seconds before saying, “No, I didn’t send them.”

  “Them. How do you know there were two?”

  “She told me. She said it was why you were so freaked out and why JoJo and you showed up for every rehearsal. JoJo is supposed to be her bodyguard, right?”

  “But you didn’t leave them in our mail as some kind of warning to me about my relationship with my daughter.”

  “What relationship?” Sophie snapped.

  “No, sir. I…I didn’t.”

  Mark turned to Greg.

  “He’s not lying.”

  “He’s stammering like crazy,” Mark pointed out.

  Greg reached across the table to bring a plate closer to him and investigate its contents. “Yes, but he’s not lying.”

  “Like, who are you again?” Sophie asked Greg.

  “A friend.” Greg shrugged and decided on the plate with some snap peas dressed with a garlic paste. “Oooh, good.”

  “I’m sorry, Bay. I had to ask you straight up.”

  “No, you didn’t have to ask him, you should have asked me and I would have told you.”

  Mark didn’t look at Sophie. “I had to ask.”

  “Can I get out?”

  “You can’t leave the restaurant,” Mark told her.

  “Can I go to the bathroom? Is that allowed…Mark?”

  Bay scrambled out of the booth to allow Sophie to get out. As she stormed off down the narrow space between the tables to the bathrooms, Bay remained standing.

  “I’ll go follow her.” Then he stopped. “I know you don’t know me. I guess you don’t trust me, either. But I would never do anything like send notes or anything. It’s not who I am.”

  “Okay.” Mark nodded. “Thanks.”

  As Bay followed Sophie to the back of the restaurant, Greg slid into the booth seat and started eyeing up the rest of the plates of food. He went for the shrimp first.

  “JoJo, this is Greg Chalmers. He…”

  “I know who he is.” JoJo reached over the table and offered a hand, which Greg shook. “I’m just surprised you had to call in someone with his talents. You told me you were this badass interrogator, but you didn’t think you could pick up on whether or not the kid was lying. Hell, he blushed.”

  “I didn’t want my emotions regarding his feelings toward my daughter to distract me. I needed impartiality. Hence Greg. Thanks for coming.”

  Greg popped another shrimp. “Thanks for feeding me. So what’s the deal with the neck tattoos?”

  JoJo gasped and instinctively put her hand around her neck to cover them. “Fashion statement,” she muttered.

  “Not likely. You just started working for Mark?”

  “A couple of weeks ago.”

  “How is it working out between you two?”

  She waited a beat for Mark to answer and when he didn’t, she said, “Okay.” Then squirmed in her seat. Not a comfortable thing lying to an expert lie detector.

  “Mark seems to be under a different opinion,” Greg said, leaning back in the booth.

  JoJo shot Mark a vile look. “You talked to him about us?”

  “I talked to him about you,” Mark corrected her. “He’s one of the best psychologists in the country….”

  “Ex…not a psychologist anymore. No license.”

  “I thought if you wanted someone to talk to…”

  JoJo’s jaw dropped as Mark’s words sank in. “Are you for real? Did you just set up Bay and me at the same time?”

  “Two birds. One stone. It was efficient. Plus, he works for food.” Mark pressed against her and lowered his voice. “You need to talk to someone, JoJo. He’s the best there is.”

  “What did you tell him?”

  “Nothing you wouldn’t have wanted me to. I only let him know that you might need some help.”

  “You ass.” Fury had her shaking in her seat. “Let me out.”

  “JoJo…I think it would be good for you.”

  “No, you think it would be good for you. Isn’t that the real truth?”

  He sighed. “I want you to heal.”

  “You want to get laid. Now. Let. Me. Out.”

  Mark slid out of the booth and stepped back.

  “Tell Sophie I’ll be by tomorrow to pick her up and take her to the studio.” JoJo practically jogged out of the restaurant, moving between customers and staff until the crisp fresh air of spring was hitting her face.

  She got to the corner of the city block and realized she had no sense of where she was. No thought of what direction she should be heading in to get back to her place.

  He’d set her up. Not just Bay—that was ruthless enough. To do it to her, when she was unprepared to defend herself, that was beyond ruthless. It was hurtful.

  Shaking her head, JoJo focused on searching for a cab. She didn’t know where she was, but she knew where she wanted to go. Back to her apartment, where she would be safe. This was what came from making connections with people. They got to know you, they thought they could heal you. Fix you. He didn’t understand. Fixing her meant losing the one constant connection to Julia she still had. Her sacrifice.

  “Hey, JoJo!”

  Closing her eyes, she turned at the sound of a man’s voice calling to her. If it had been Mark she would have ignored him, but it was Greg. His long strides ate up the distance between them pretty quickly.

  “Look, Greg, if you’re going to try to convince me…”

  He held up a hand to stop her. “I’m not. Despite what Mark believes, I’m not into forced therapy.”

  “Then what are you doing out here?”

  “He asked me to watch you get safely into a cab. He couldn’t leave Sophie.”

  “I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.” JoJo turned her back to him and lifted her hand in the air waiting for some yellow cars to flock to her.

  “I’ve known Mark awhile now. We’ve gotten together a few times with Ben for drinks.”

  “Good for you.” The last thing she wanted to talk about was Mark. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt so betrayed. Unfortunately, that wasn’t true. She knew exactly when it had happened before and who it had happened with. That Mark now had something in common with her father made things even worse.

  Greg moved around her so that she had to face him. “Mostly, from what I’ve gathered during my time with hi
m, he’s a cold ruthless jerk. Funny as hell because of it, though. Never pulls any punches. Always says what he means. So he’s fun to hang out with.”

  “Why are you telling me this?”

  “In the past couple of months, I’ve noticed his interactions with men and women are completely different. With men he’s brutally honest and like I said that can mean being a bit of an ass. With women, however, he’s…shallow. Everything is on the surface. Except when he talks about his daughter. Then it’s all anxiety and worry. But still he hasn’t penetrated any of the really deep emotions with her. Mostly because she won’t let him.”

  “Your point?”

  “When he asked me to come here today and why, it was a no-brainer that he would do anything to protect Sophie. I’m afraid it’s because he feels like safety is the only thing he can give her. When he also asked me to see if I could get you to talk, that surprised me. It meant you were more than a colleague. More than any other woman has been to him since I’ve known him. If for no other reason, I wanted to meet you because of that. To see who you might be.”

  JoJo held her arms out to the side. “Well, you’ve seen me. Get a good look because as soon as we put this thing with Sophie behind us, I’m out of here.”

  “Nah, I’m not seeing you. Not you. Just the part of you that you show everyone else. But the woman behind the tats, you must have shown her to him. And he must have shown you something, too, or he wouldn’t be so torn between coming after you and leaving his daughter behind.”

  “You can’t defend him.”

  “Puh-leeze, did I mention what a jerk he was? He’s always asking me to play poker even though he knows I’m a gambling addict. Wants to see if he can bluff me. No, I’m not defending him. I’m explaining him. I don’t know what you meant when you said he only wanted to get laid, and I’m not going to ask unless you ever decide you do want to talk to someone. I can only tell you, this isn’t about sex with him. It’s about something else.”

  JoJo nodded but only to make him stop talking. She didn’t want to think about something else. She was having a hard enough time thinking about sex. Or not thinking about sex with Mark.

  Greg lifted his finger into the air and his towering height brought a cab immediately to her corner.