Running On Empty

by Colette Ballard

  Red was a loose cannon, and if I didn’t do something fast, God knows what might happen to Justice. There was only one way to get Logan’s attention. “Come on, Logan, you know you’re the only guy for me.” Each word was a knife stabbing into me. “Let’s leave.” When he didn’t budge, I swallowed hard and tangled my arms around his neck, urging his face to mine. Then I kissed him—in front of everyone—in front of Justice.

  At first Logan didn’t respond, but when I parted my lips he gave me his full attention. Taking my face in his hands, he thrust his tongue in my mouth and kissed me for what seemed like the longest few seconds of my life. Then to taunt Justice further, he held me tighter against his body, and above my head said to Justice, “Looks like it’s your lucky day; my girl wants to leave.”

  With the side of my face pressed against Logan’s chest, I glanced to Justice, my eyes begging him to let it go.

  Justice’s jaw muscles clenched. “That what you want, River? You wanna leave with this drunk?”

  “We have a DD,” I lied, knowing his question wasn’t really a question. There’s no way he’d let me get in a car with a drunk driver—not without a fight.

  His nostrils flared. “You sure?”

  My stomach turned inside out as I tiptoed to kiss Logan in hopes of further convincing Justice.

  Pain flooded Justice’s eyes: a sickening combination of anger, disappointment, and disgust. I’d known Justice my whole life, and not once had he ever looked at me that way. Shaking his head, he huff-laughed, then turned to walk away.

  My heart shattered like someone shoved a lit stick of dynamite inside my chest. I’d just betrayed my best friend in the whole world. He’d never know I did it to protect him.

  “Better luck next time, Cowboy.” Logan closed his hand around mine, and a surge of nausea swirled in my stomach as I allowed him to lead me away.

  Red clapped Logan on the back and handed him a beer as we walked by him. “Party’s just gettin’ started, huh?”

  “Yep.” Logan cracked open the can, threw his head back, and took a long drink.

  Kat and Billi Jo caught up with me, but I waved them away and walked on. Kat followed me to the edge of the parking lot anyway. “You can’t leave with him, he’s drunk.”

  Logan turned back to face her, took a gulp of his beer, crushed the can, and tossed it toward her. “I’m fine, Captain.” He saluted her, did a one-eighty, and then unsteadily swaggered ahead to his car.

  Bracing my hands against Kat’s shoulders, I stepped into the line of fire before she had a chance to retaliate with a beer can to the back of his head and an arsenal of cuss words. Keeping my voice to a loud whisper, I said, “Kat, you know what’s gonna happen if I don’t get him out of here right now.”

  “So what!” She flung her arms out. “Justice can handle him.”

  “You know as well as I do Logan and his friends don’t always fight fair.” It was true they had a reputation for outnumbering their rivals, also true they’d made verbal threats with guns. What Kat didn’t know was that the rumor that swept through the county a few months ago was true.

  Kat’s green cat eyes narrowed. “River, don’t be stupid. Justice has plenty of friends here; they’ll back him.”

  “Kat…they all have guns. They keep them in their vehicles and—”

  “This is rural fucking Texas. Everybody keeps guns and rifles and shit in their vehicles.”

  “I’m not talking about hunting rifles.” I glanced ahead to Logan’s car where he was bent over, reaching inside. Red fidgeted beside him and stared in my direction like he was the lookout guy. Dammit, neither of them needed another drop of whiskey. I didn’t have time for this. There was no way around it—I had to tell Kat the truth so I could get them out of here.

  “Okay, here it is: you know the rumor that was floating around about Red shooting that guy from Ridgewood High? It was true. Red was afraid they were going to kill Logan, so he tried to scare him, only he got too close. The guy changed his story later, but it was because Red got ahold of him before he talked to the cops. He caught the guy alone at that party down by Miller Lake and pulled a gun on him. Thankfully, Logan caught Red and took his gun away from him.”

  Kat cocked her hip as she folded her arms across her chest. “Oh, so Logan’s a hero now?”

  “That’s not the point.” I jammed my fingers through my hair. “I’m saying that Red is unpredictable and they’re both shit-faced on whiskey. I need to get them away from Justice. Now.”

  “You’ve been drinking. You’re not driving anywhere.”

  “I’m not.” I pointed to a girl standing with a group of people near Logan’s car. “Blondie’s the DD.” It wasn’t a complete lie. I’d overheard her earlier saying she was driving one of Logan’s friends, I just didn’t know which one or if they had extra seating. “I’ll catch a ride home as soon as I’m sure Logan and Red will stay put at the after party.”

  “This is fucked up, River,” Kat growled. “You’re in way over your head, and you better wake up!”

  I didn’t want to leave with Logan any more than she wanted me to, but I couldn’t let her see me wavering. She’d try to talk me out of it, and there was no way I’d take a chance on Justice getting hurt because of me. “You know I have to go.” I took a step back, but before I turned, Kat spun on her heel and walked off, her long, shiny black hair whipping behind her. Kat hated to be left behind, so she always made sure she was the leaver.

  When I got to the car, Logan was waiting at the passenger side door. Behind me, a car engine revved and a male voice yelled, “Hey Westfield, party at your place?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be there in a little bit.” Logan twirled his key ring on his finger. “I have to make a stop first.”

  When I raised my eyebrows, Logan smiled. “Your present.”

  An hour ago, Logan’s words would’ve given me butterflies; now they gave me cold chills.

  I reached for his car keys. “Come on Logan, you’ve had too much to drink. Let’s find that blonde girl who—”

  He pulled his hand away and opened the door for me. “No way I’m leaving my car here.”

  “Then we’ll find someone—”

  “Nobody drives my car.” He pressed his lips to mine, and it tasted like I’d done a shot of whiskey. “Mmm, not even you.”

  “Logan, you can’t drive like this.”

  “Okay.” He chuckled as he glanced toward the pavilion where the party was still in full swing. Then he cupped my face, his thumbs brushing my cheeks as his glassy eyes penetrated mine. “We can stay here until my buzz wears off if that’s what you want. I’m sure your friend would like that.”

  “Come on, man.” Red smacked the passenger side door of a white four-wheel drive he was crammed into. “What’s the hold up?”

  My stomach twisted in knots and my legs grew heavy as I clutched the door frame for support. I had no other choice—no good one. If we stayed, that meant Red stayed. It meant they all stayed.

  “Your call, Beautiful.”

  Fire erupted in my chest and spread to every limb of my body. I was angry that there were no good options, even angrier that I’d been forced to choose between Logan and Justice in the first place. To everyone at the party and to Justice, it looked like I chose Logan, but in my heart and soul, Justice was my choice. I had to leave with Logan in order to protect Justice.

  “Let’s go.”

  Smiling, Logan leaned down to whisper in my ear, “Trust me, Baby, we’ll take it slow.”

  White hot tears pricked my eyes as I watched myself, or someone that resembled me, get into the car. I told myself everything would be okay if we just took it slow.

  My gut told me something else.

  6

  ASSAULT

  “Logan, this isn’t the right way.” I clutched my locket.

  “I know,” he said as he veered his Mustang onto a gravel road that led into a secluded field and shut the car off. A shower of stars and a narrow sliver of moon illuminated t
he dark field like candlelight.

  “I just wanted to spend some time alone with you before we go back to my house.” He reached in the back floorboard for his half-empty fifth of whiskey. After pouring some into his cup, he took a swig from the bottle and wiped his mouth with his wrist. When he leaned across the console to kiss me, I turned my head.

  His eyebrows knit together. “What’s wrong?”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “Besides the fact we had to leave the field party because you almost got into a fight with one of my friends?”

  “It was your idea to leave. I would’ve been perfectly happy to stay there and kick Cowboy’s ass.” He smirked.

  A senseless, testosterone-fueled fight wasn’t what bothered me—it was knowing that Red had a gun on him, and he’d already proven he wasn’t afraid to use it. Also the fact that Logan’s buddies kept artillery in their vehicles like some people kept sunglasses. I sucked in a sharp breath. “Logan—”

  “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. It’s just that when…” He traced his fingers along the rim of his red plastic cup. “When I saw the two of you together tonight, first at your awards ceremony and then at the party…” He gazed at me from under his thick lashes, his gray-blue eyes now softer, almost cloudy. “You two seem to have this bond that I can’t compete with.”

  My lungs contracted, causing me to need more air. I never expected those words out of his mouth. It was no secret that Logan was a fierce competitor; no wonder he was so freaked out. It was no excuse for his behavior, but it made more sense. “I’ve known Justice forever, but that doesn’t mean we have romantic feelings for each other or that you have to compete.”

  “Yeah.” He nodded and stared out the front window a few seconds before facing me again. The cocky grin had disappeared, and the hard lines that had formed the scowl he wore earlier were now gone. There was no trace of the jerk he’d been at the party. “But you didn’t see the way he looked at you tonight.”

  My heart stuttered and sank at the same time. He was the second person tonight to tell me Justice had a certain way of looking at me. Why didn’t I see what they were they talking about? “He’s protective of me, that’s all.”

  “It just got to me, River. I care about you so much, and I don’t want to lose…” He trailed off. “I don’t ever want to lose you. I overreacted, and I’m sorry.”

  The more he talked, the more my amnesia began to set in. I struggled to remember why I was mad at him. Was he genuinely sorry or was it an act to get his way? I was a smart girl, so why the hell didn’t I know the answer to this question?

  “Listen, I don’t want to talk about him anymore. I want to talk about us.” He gently pried my hand away from my crossed arms and brought it to his lips. “We met exactly three months ago today. Do you remember?”

  How did he do that? Every time I started to question him, he’d either come up with something nice or annoyingly sentimental—just enough to keep me off balance. “I remember thinking you were a jerk.” I wasn’t that easy.

  “All it took was a few apologies and a little persistence to change your mind.” He winked.

  And your piercing, gray-blue eyes and good looks didn’t make it any easier on me. I was so pathetic. Struggling to remain unaffected by his snake charmer gaze, I studied a stray thread hanging from my damp shirt.

  “Oh, come on,” he chuckled, “at least I tried to make it up to you by taking you on that awesome trail ride.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You had me believing you were some horse-loving cowboy.” I soon found out his affection for horses was nothing compared to his affection for fast cars and guns.

  “I’m glad I didn’t let you get away.” He slipped his hands on both sides of my face. “I love you, River.” My heart skipped several beats and then took off in an awkward tumble. He’d never said those three words to me before—nobody had. Before I could regulate my breathing or decide what I thought about his profession of love, he kissed me—and this time I didn’t turn away.

  His kiss became more urgent, and I responded accordingly as his lips brushed my neck and he whispered things any girl wouldn’t mind hearing. The heat of his body and the slickness of his skin against mine made my heart race. I was caught up in the moment, and before I knew it, he had his shirt off and was unbuttoning mine. I put my hand over his. “Slow down, Logan.”

  “Baby, we’ve been dating three months,” he whispered breathlessly, and kept going.

  Part of me wanted to believe everything Logan said, but another part wanted to know what the hell I was thinking letting him touch me. “I know, but—”

  “Don’t sweat it.” He kissed my neck as he opened the glove box and pulled out two condoms.

  “It’s not only that. I…I’m just not sure yet.” I couldn’t explain why I wasn’t sure, not to myself or to him.

  His jaw flexed against my cheek, and his fingers ever so slightly tightened their grip at the back of my neck before he pushed me away from him. “You’re a tease, River.” He straightened up and thudded back against his seat. “And I’m tired of your games.”

  Stunned by his sudden change in demeanor, I choked out, “My games?”

  He wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. “I just told you I love you. What more could someone like you want?”

  The sting of his words made it hard for me to wrap my brain around them. I stared as if seeing him for the first time. The angry scowl and arrogant attitude were back. This was the Logan my friends warned me about. This was the Logan I’d seen glimpses of. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  He ran his hand through his hair. “Oh, come on, do I really need to spell it out for you?”

  My mouth moved but I couldn’t seem to access sound or words. My head was spinning as Justice’s last request played in my mind like a broken record: ‘Please don’t sell your soul to the devil.’ Too late for that. Despite his warning, that’s exactly what I’d done. And now I had a sinking feeling things were headed straight to hell.

  “I mean, look at your life, River—you have nothing, a father who’s a joke, and you live in trailer-ville. I’ve been trying to help you. I take you out to nice restaurants, to parties, to expensive horse shows you couldn’t afford. I bought you a cell phone, roses, a dress for tonight that you didn’t even bother to wear. I’m good to you, but you don’t even appreciate it.” The list rolled off his tongue so fast it was obvious it wasn’t the first time he’d thought about it.

  “So I owe you?” I half-whispered. “And I’m supposed to be grateful to you for dating me?”

  He shrugged. “I’m just telling the truth.”

  My chest ached as if he’d punched through me. “The truth? Is that what that is?” I bit down on my lip. “Well, here’s some truth for you. I’m tired of you inventing reasons to start fights. One minute you’re all nice and the second things don’t go your way, you turn into a complete jerk. I’m tired of your Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde routine. You’re the one who’s playing games.”

  “This all started because you were hanging on some other guy.” He grabbed his cup and took another drink, adding fuel to the erupting fire.

  “This all started because of your imagination and stupid jealousy. And it’s going to end because you’re a spoiled brat. You’re so used to getting everything you want that you can’t even comprehend that I won’t sleep with you!” It was right then that I realized the truth of my own words. He really could not understand I meant ‘no’—obviously, it wasn’t a word he was familiar with. It occurred to me that probably no one had ever told him ‘no’ to anything in his entire life.

  He laughed—a slow, mocking laugh as he leered at me. “You’re right, I am used to getting what I want.”

  A tingle of dread crept up my spine, but I was too angry to acknowledge it and give it the attention it deserved. “Not this time, Logan. Not any more…not with me.” I shook my head as if I was just waking up. Finding my strength one word at a time, the truth of them began to sink in. “I
think it’s time for us to go our separate ways.”

  “Yeah, well, you better think about that first.” It almost sounded like a warning.

  “I thought about it all the way here. I had my mind made up, but you have this way, this way of turning things around and making me question myself.” I dug my fingers into my hair and stared at him. “It’s unbelievable how you can convince me to feel like something is my fault when it’s clearly not.”

  “There wouldn’t be any problems if you didn’t act like such a slut in public, then suddenly turn into Miss Innocent Virgin when we’re alone.”

  I gripped the door handle. Sharing the same air space with the person beside me for another second was not an option. “Logan, it’s over!”

  A steel bar slammed across my ribs and locked onto my arm, restraining me. When I looked down, it took a few seconds to register it was Logan’s arm braced across me, his hand latched to my wrist. “It’s not over,” he said coolly—a little too coolly. “Not yet.”

  An icy chill sliced through my veins when my eyes met his. Maybe it was because the moonlight wasn’t shining in them just right, or maybe because I didn’t want to see it earlier, but now they appeared dull, hollow, and unrecognizable. Everything in me shouted ‘Get out now!’

  “What are you doing?” I struggled to free myself.

  He tightened his grip on my wrist and pulled me closer until my face was parallel to his. His lips grazed my ear as he whispered, “What you don’t seem to understand about me, sweetheart, is that I like games too…but I play to win.” His eyes flickered toward the condoms that were now sitting on the dash.

  Panic rushed through me. I grabbed his cup of whiskey and flung it at his eyes.

  He was a wolf in an instant. In one effortless motion, he sprang across the console and pulled the seat lever, dropping the seat. Before he was all the way on my side, I managed to get the door open and one leg on the ground.