Running On Empty

by Colette Ballard

I rolled my eyes at him. “Tall redheaded barrel racer who was really into you.”

  “Oh, her,” he laughed, “I didn’t notice.”

  “Well, she noticed you.” I grinned slyly. “She noticed me, too. She and one of her friends kept saying I looked familiar. They couldn’t quit staring at me.”

  “Nobody could—mostly the guys.”

  Not surprising, I guess, since Andy recognized me. “Really?” My smile faded, but his got bigger.

  “I think it was the dress.” He winked.

  I was already feeling awkward enough about the dress. “What’s wrong with my dress?”

  Justice smirked. “Nothin’, that’s the problem.”

  “I assumed you didn’t like it…”

  He glanced over at me and shook his head back and forth as he surveyed my outfit. “River, you’re absolutely killin’ me.” He pretended to wipe sweat off his forehead.

  It would take awhile to get used to Justice saying things like that. After I caught my breath, I grinned wickedly and scooted closer to him—close enough to tempt him but not close enough to actually touch him. “I guess we’ll see who wins the bet, then.” I smirked.

  He grabbed the steering wheel. “I should’ve known you wouldn’t play fair.”

  “It’s not in my nature.”

  “I almost forgot.” He laughed.

  “It’s all about the dress,” I said, smoothing it against my legs.

  “It’s all about the girl in the dress,” he argued and reached for his truck keys.

  “Hey, before we leave, I should let our friends know, don’t you think?”

  He reached for the door handle. “Yeah, good idea.”

  Holding up my hand to stop him, I said, “Um…I think I’d better handle this alone.”

  He relaxed against the seat. “Just don’t take too long, I don’t wanna have to go on another search and rescue mission.”

  “Justice,” I said after opening the truck door and sliding off the seat, “you really like brunettes best?”

  “Darlin’,” he grinned, showing off his deep dimple, “I like you best.”

  Laughing, I shut the door and smiled to myself as I went to tell my friends we were leaving. When I rejoined Justice at the truck, I ached to slide closer to the middle to sit next him, to touch him, to kiss him. Damn, to be honest, I ached to finish what we’d started in his bedroom a couple weeks ago. But I didn’t want to rush and risk messing up things between us again. And besides, I was way too stubborn to lose the bet. I was weakening, but not ready to throw in the towel just yet.

  When he pulled up to my trailer, he turned the engine off and faced me. “River, I’m really happy.”

  “Me, too.” Then, after a minute or two of silence, I added boldly, “Too bad you won’t kiss me.”

  “Tomorrow. And besides, I already told you: I’m not touchin’ you unless you ask.” A smirk crawled across his lips. “Nicely.”

  “Wanna come inside?” I gave him my sexiest smile. “Looks like nobody’s here.”

  “Not fallin’ for it, Daniels.” He kept his eyes straight ahead. “But how ‘bout I cash in that rain check for a trail ride tomorrow?”

  I blew him a kiss as I got out of the truck. “Tomorrow.”

  35

  JUSTICE

  At the first hint of sunrise, I bounded out of bed. Justice and I hadn’t been on a trail ride together in a long time, and even though it would be bittersweet without Ranger, I was excited. After I dressed, I pulled my unpacked duffle bag from under my bed. When I grabbed my jeans, a piece of paper fell out and I bent to pick it up off the floor.

  My heart ached when I realized it was the Polaroid picture the chief had given me. I stared at the lost girl, and turned the picture over and over in my hands until a sense of peace settled over me. It was time to let her go.

  Without making a conscious decision, I took the picture to the kitchen to look for scissors. When I couldn’t find any, I grabbed a steak knife and held it in my hand like an ink pen. With each tiny slice I carved, I felt a tinge of pain—emotional pain. It reminded me of something Charlie told me—feeling pain meant you had a pulse. Now I understood what he was talking about; feeling pain was better than feeling nothing at all.

  It was a fact that there would always be pain in my life. However you looked at it, I was responsible for taking another human being’s life. Self-defense, yes. But the pain ran deep. Charlie, Justice, my friends: they all told me I had to deal with it. They knew if I continued to avoid it, it would always be there waiting for me, always haunting me.

  The night Logan assaulted me and tried to rape me changed the course of my life. It was now part of my history, a part I needed to leave in the past. By dealing with it, I had to face it, feel it, and then let it go.

  I needed to let it go like I needed to breathe. After gathering the pieces of the picture in my hand, I went outside to the back deck and stood against the weathered railing. Glowing against the backdrop of a pink-orange sunrise, I began to find beauty in a place that I’d never allowed myself to really see before.

  I’d never noticed the way some of my neighbors took pride in their homes by planting small potted gardens on their decks or in their sparse back yards. I didn’t see the beauty of the stockpile of used tricycles and toys scattered in Mrs. Cleary’s back yard, always welcoming the neighborhood children because she couldn’t have any of her own. I never appreciated the way the wildflowers I’d planted when I was twelve insisted on popping their colorful heads up year after year, despite my neglect.

  As I gazed out at the beauty that had always been there, a sense of peace overwhelmed me—a sense of belonging, of home, of being right where I needed to be. Extending my arm, I said a final good-bye to the lost girl. Then, unclenching my fingers as if I were releasing a butterfly, I let the breeze carry her away.

  Maybe it took the symbolism of setting a broken girl free, or a place I’d blamed for so many of my problems for me to get it, but I no longer felt like I was stuck in the middle of nowhere. I realized you could be dirt poor or have everything you thought you wanted; you could live in a trailer park, a sprawling mansion, or in the chaos of Las Vegas, and still feel lost. It had nothing to do with maps or geography, social status or economics. The middle of nowhere is simply a feeling—one that resides in the heart.

  Charlie was right; it was time to refuel. Time to make my life count.

  I sucked in a deep breath, taking in the scent of everything I loved: the scent of horses and hay, leather, wood, and even dirt. “Ready for our trail ride?” I asked Justice when I found him in the tack stall.

  Justice wrinkled his nose. “Ouch, what happened?” He extended his hand toward my cheek, then caught himself.

  I didn’t flinch and we both noticed. I would have let him touch me; in fact, I wanted him to. But he wanted our first official day as a couple to be special, so what was a few more hours? Besides, a bet was still a bet, and we were both fiercely competitive. Running my finger across the scratch on my cheekbone, I said, “Oh, just a little run-in with that tree.” I thumbed toward the spindly tree outside the barn entrance. “So, we ready?”

  “Yeah, about that.” Justice grimaced as he pulled a roll of leg-wrap from the cabinet. “Blue cut his leg on the fence and it’s pretty bad. He won’t be doin’ any trail ridin’ today.”

  “I thought you fixed that fence the other day.” With slumped shoulders, I followed Justice to Blue’s stall. When I squatted down beside him to take a look at the horse’s leg, my stomach rumbled. “Wow, that is bad.” I ran my hand along the backside of Blue’s injured leg. “Doesn’t it need stitches?”

  “No, too deep. It’ll have to heal from the inside out. If it closed up on the outside before the inside healed good, it would just bust open again.” He stood up and patted Blue on the shoulder. “It’s gonna take some time for a deep wound like that to heal.”

  “Oh,” I said glumly.

  He winced. “After I get him bandaged up, we could doub
le on Daisy if you want?”

  I narrowed my eyes. “You know I know that you fixed that fence a few days ago, which means Blue cut his leg a few days ago, which means you knew we’d have to ride double or nothing when you invited me on this trail ride.”

  His eyes twinkled with mischief. “If you asked real nice I’ll probably let you hold onto me.”

  “Thanks for the offer, but I don’t actually need to hold on to you. I can hold on to the back of the saddle.”

  He gave me a sideways glance. “We’ll see about that.”

  While he wrapped Blue’s leg, I went to tack Daisy up. After I finished, I took her to the back of the barn so Justice could get on first.

  “Okay, now lean up,” I instructed him as I grabbed the back of the saddle instead of the horn to avoid contact.

  Rolling his eyes, Justice did as I asked.

  “Easy, I’m gonna put my foot in the stirrup and swing my leg over like so.” I bounced on my foot trying to gain enough momentum to swing my leg over without grabbing the saddle horn.

  He held his hand out for me. “Anytime you need help, just say the word.”

  “Not a chance.”

  “Suit yourself.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest.

  “Move Daisy over to the fence, would ya?”

  He glared at me. “That’s cheatin’.”

  I tapped my finger to my temple. “It’s called using my resources.”

  “Stubborn,” he coughed into his fist and moved Daisy over to the fence.

  “You do realize that continuing this crazy deal of ours was your idea, right?” I climbed up two planks until I was eye level with him. “I was ready to use my time-out last night, but nooo…you didn’t want to kiss me.”

  “Are you serious?” He stared at my lips, and my pulse quickened. “I’m dyin’ to kiss those pouty red lips of yours. For starters…”

  Air rushed into my lungs and I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it when I realized my brain had turned to mush.

  “But first I want to make this day special for you—for us.” He gave me a crooked grin. “So today, starting now, everything from here on is fair game.”

  “I’m not sure you understand the concept of fair game, but either way, I’m winning,” I said and successfully maneuvered myself behind the saddle without touching him.

  “We’ll see about that,” he laughed as I settled in behind him.

  With only an inch of space separating our bodies, my senses were in overdrive. Every nerve in my body buzzed with tension. I ached to run my hand along the curves of his shoulders and the rippling muscles of his arms. I wanted to reach out and touch the curled ends of his hair, to feel his skin on mine. Most of all, I wanted to end this crazy bet.

  Forcing myself to pay attention to the trail ride I’d been looking forward to for so long, I basked in the mild temperature and the glistening of the morning sun. The two of us remained silent, both caught up in the music of the soft breeze brushing against the leaves on the trees, twigs crunching beneath Daisy’s hooves, and the rushing of the water that ran down the creek along the wooded trail. When we neared the crossing, Justice spoke up. “Uh, River, I’m sure I don’t need to remind you how Daisy likes to jump creeks.”

  “Let her walk through it.”

  “With the rain we’ve had lately, I know she won’t want to walk through it. It might be a good idea if you hold on to me,” he suggested.

  I gripped the back of the saddle harder as we approached the creek.

  “I really don’t think that’s gonna do it.” He patted the side of his ribs, gesturing for me to hold on around his waist.

  “I got it, no worries.”

  “Okay, but anytime you wanna declare a truce…” he said in a sing-song voice.

  As Daisy sailed over the creek, I changed my mind mid-air and wrapped both arms around his waist. A strong electric current passed between us, sending my heart rate into a pace I didn’t know existed. My body melded to his as I clung to him much harder than I needed to. With my eyes closed, I savored the moment I’d been craving. Finally, finally I could hold onto Justice without being afraid. I no longer had to deny my feelings. I was free to feel everything, and it was bliss.

  After we cleared the creek, Justice brought Daisy to a stop. “What have we got here?” The side of his cheek lifted as he turned sideways and looked down at my arms.

  “You win,” I grumbled playfully, but kept my hands where they were. I didn’t call a time-out before I touched him, which made me the loser. But I’d never been so happy to lose a bet in all my life.

  He cupped his hand around his ear. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

  “You heard me.” I poked him in the ribs.

  “That had a nice ring to it. I think I could get used to hearin’ that from you.”

  “Don’t push it, Braden,” I said against his neck.

  He curled his shoulder toward his neck to prevent me further access, so instead I slid my hands to rest on his thighs. “Game’s over, Braden. You’re all mine.”

  His breathing hitched and his shoulders tensed. “That still did not sound like you asking.”

  “Oh, you still wanna play, huh? All right then, when we get to the top of the hill, we race for it. Winner takes all.”

  “You’re on.” Justice turned Daisy to circle back and we ended up on the hill facing the backside of the barn. Justice pulled Daisy to a stop, and we stared out at the sprawling oak tree that was our favorite childhood hangout. Wrapping my arms around him tighter, I rested the side of my face against his back and soaked in his warmth, his touch, his scent.

  After a few minutes, Daisy started prancing, so Justice let her go at a smooth trot. As she glided toward the huge tree, I tilted my head back toward the sky, stretched my arms out, palms up, and let the sun smile down on me.

  When we reached a row of pine trees that had always served as the starting point for our races, I grabbed Daisy’s reins. “Whoa, girl,” I said and swung off of her. “Come on, for old times’ sake,” I dared Justice.

  “A foot race you want, a foot race you got.” Justice got off of Daisy and started unsaddling her as quickly as he could.

  Before he finished, I slipped off Daisy’s bridle so she could graze, and then took off running. “Come on, slowpoke,” I called. When footsteps thumped behind me, I darted in front of him, trying to trip him.

  “Cheater!” He caught me by the waist and easily pulled me into him, my back against his stomach.

  I bent my neck sideways to look at him. “Who’s a cheater now?”

  “This is fair game.” He grinned down at me, his hands grazing my stomach where my shirt rode up, making my blood go warm. “I would think someone who consistently breaks her own rules would realize that.”

  “Oh, you mean the rules you kept changing?” I beamed, then moved beside him and slipped my arm around his waist so we could walk side by side. “No regrets; totally worth it.”

  When we reached the tree, we unlocked our arms, and Justice took the saddlebag off of his shoulder. Pulling out a thin blanket, he spread it on the ground and we sat, leaning our backs against the tree. He got out a thermos, poured a cup, and handed it to me.

  “Mmm, your homemade lemonade,” I said, enjoying the sensation of the cool liquid.

  After we’d finished, Justice scooted down on the blanket to lie flat and tucked his hands behind his head. I slid down next to him and rested my head on his bicep. Staring up at the beautiful tree above us, I thought about all the memories Justice and I had shared in this very spot. “Remember how we used to pick bundles of honeysuckle, then sit under this tree and suck out the tiny drops of honey?” I said, grabbing a lock of my hair and draping it under my nose.

  He nuzzled the top of my head and inhaled. “Sure do.”

  With an overwhelming sense of right, I moved onto my side and propped up on my elbow so I could look at him. “It’s true what you said about deep wounds healing from the inside out,
isn’t it?”

  He shifted onto his side to face me, his eyes curious. “Yeah, why?”

  “Because I think my heart is beginning to heal.” It was true that my heart was no longer empty, and while maybe not perfect, it was on its way to healing. And with Justice beside me, I had hope that someday it would be whole again.

  His eyes searched mine for confirmation as he reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. While his hand lingered, I leaned toward him, so close that I could taste his breath, and whispered, “You gonna kiss me or what?”

  With a smile in his eyes, he traced his thumb alongside my jaw and then across my own smile. “Darlin’, I thought you’d never ask.”

  Cradling my face with one hand, he followed my lead as I lay back onto the blanket, then very gently, he pressed his warm lips to mine. And his kiss was more than I’d ever dreamed it could be. It wasn’t like the first one that Justice didn’t return, and it wasn’t like the second, primal and needy before saying good-bye. It wasn’t a dream or delusion when I thought I was dying; it was real.

  This kiss was the thunder of a thousand horses’ hooves beating the ground as my heart pulsated out of my chest. It was the sweet taste of honeysuckle from my childhood on lips that were as soft as the leather on a well-worn saddle. It was the unmistakable scent of rain coming from miles away as I gazed deep into the eyes of my version of Prince Charming. This kiss was my made-to-order heaven.

  KEEP READING FOR BONUS SCENES FROM RUNNING ON EMPTY TOLD FROM JUSTICE’S POINT OF VIEW

  JUSTICE

  WAITING GAME

  Boards creak beneath my boots as I pace across the cabin’s porch floor. Waiting.

  3:06 p.m. My fingers squeeze tighter around my cell as I glance at it for the thousandth time since River left. I should know something by now. The chief should’ve gotten back to me, but his phone went dead right after he told me River wasn’t coming home—not last night, anyway. I pray it’s the only night she has to spend behind bars. Jail’s not where she belongs. Not now, not ever.

  Her dad is out searching for answers and that’s where I’d like to be—searching, helping, doing something besides wearing a hole in this weathered flooring. But before the chief gave me any news, he made me promise I’d stay here with the girls. He claimed he was afraid the media would harass Jamie, that they might even come sniffing around for Kat and Billi Jo. I have a feeling he was more concerned that the four of us would try to organize a jailbreak.