This Fierce Splendor

by Iris Johansen

  “One of the first things she said was that she didn’t have time to be sick, she had to get to Kantalan. I think our little owl is definitely on the mend.”

  “It sounds like it.” Oh, God, she was going to be all right! “Is she awake now?”

  Patrick shook his head. “Silver gave her a bath, washed her hair, and fed her a little broth. She was pretty tired after that and went right back to sleep. Did you get anything from Doc Bellings?”

  “Just some laudanum to help deepen her sleep. I thought it might stop the dreams. Maybe she won’t need it now.”

  “Probably not. I hope to God that’s all over. Any news from Gran-da?”

  Dominic slipped from the saddle. “The one you expected. Cort was in town two days ago and left a message with everyone he met for you to get your tail back to Killara.”

  “And no messages for you?”

  “No messages.”

  “I imagine Gran-da will have quite a few things to say when Cort gets back to Killara and tells him what you’ve been up to.”

  “I doubt it.” Dominic began to unsaddle the stallion. “When he was a young man Da would have considered it pretty tame to carry off a woman.”

  “Maybe.” Patrick’s expression was skeptical. “But he’s become real respectable with the years.”

  “He likes to pretend he’s respectable, but beneath that Sunday-go-to-meeting smile he’s as big a rascal as he ever was.” Dominic’s lips twisted in a bitter-sweet smile. “Perhaps that’s why he still manages to forgive me for all I’ve cost him through the years. Like to like. I’m a true son to the old devil.”

  Patrick frowned. “Everything you’ve done, you’ve been forced to do, Dom. We all know that.”

  “Do we? Tell that to the woman in the cabin.” Dominic’s voice was thick with disgust. “I swear to God, I was going to rape her, and, instead, I nearly killed her. Ten years ago I would have shot the balls off any bastard who so much as thought of doing that to a woman. What kind of man does that make me?”

  “You went loco for a little while. You would have come to your senses—”

  “The hell I would.” Dominic whirled to face him with a movement alive with barely contained violence. “She does something wild to me and … I would have done it, and if I’m ever left alone with her, I might still do it. I’m not the same man I was when I left Killara. Why the hell don’t you all realize that and stay away from me?”

  “We love you,” Patrick said simply. “You’re family.”

  Dominic stared at him for a moment. He felt as if he’d been struck in the stomach. He finally pulled his gaze away. “Haven’t you ever heard of black sheep? The smart thing to do is to cast them out and let them go their own way.”

  Patrick smiled. “I never claimed to be smart. I kind of like black sheep. At least they’re not boring.” He paused. “I think you should know I’m not going back to Killara.”

  Dominic’s gaze flew back to his face. “Oh, yes, you are. We’ve had this discussion before.”

  “As I remember, we didn’t discuss it at all. You just told me what I was going to do. I’ve thought it over and come to the conclusion that it’s my duty to stay with you. You obviously need my help to keep you from wandering further down the path to hell and damnation. It should be a very interesting experience for both of us.” Patrick smiled blandly. “I’m staying glued to your side until you decide to come back to Killara with me.”

  Dominic’s expression darkened. “I told you …”

  Patrick held up his hand. “No one tells me anything these days, Dom.” There was a hint of steel in his lazy drawl. “Remember that, will you? If you want me to go back to Killara, you’ll have to go with me.”

  “You damn fool, you’re going to get yourself killed,” Dominic said harshly. “It’s only a matter of time before one of Durbin’s hired guns shows up in Hell’s Bluff.”

  “All the more reason to go back to Killara. We could make sure no one gets to you there.”

  “They can get to me anywhere. Durbin’s price doesn’t require a fair fight. He’d be just as happy to have me bushwhacked.”

  “Your being on Delaney land would make it more difficult. You’re not going to change my mind, Dom,”

  Dominic abruptly realized he was not going to be able either to persuade or intimidate Patrick, and the knowledge filled him with fear. He suddenly could see young Sam Bergstrom’s dead, staring eyes, the slow trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth. He felt the hot bile rush to his stomach. God, not again. Not Patrick. “You can bet that I’m going to change your mind. Who the hell wants to be saddled with a snot-nosed kid like you? You’ll only get in my way.” He injected a taunting note of scorn in his voice. “What’s the matter, did someone finally take the blinders off Josh? Did he find out how you feel about Rising Star? Is that why you want to leave Killara for a spell?”

  The color flooded Patrick’s face and his hands suddenly clenched into fists at his sides. “Shut up, Dom.”

  Dominic smiled coldly. “I don’t remember ever going to bed with an Indian. Are they any different? Tell me, do they give a warwhoop when—”

  Patrick took a step forward. “Shut up or, so help me God, I’ll kill you, Dom.” His voice was shaking. “How can you talk like that about her? I thought you liked Rising Star. You know she would never be unfaithful to Josh.”

  “Do I? You’ve been nosing around her from the moment you found out what women were for. Everyone but Josh knows how you feel about her. She must be damn good to keep you coming back—” Dominic broke off as Patrick’s fist smashed into his mouth, snapping his head back and causing him to stagger sideways. He shook his head to clear it of the black spots dancing before his eyes. Christ, the kid had a wicked right hook. “Do you still want me to come back to Killara?”

  “I want you to burn in hell,” Patrick said between his teeth. “Don’t just stand there, fight me.”

  Dominic shook his head. “I don’t fight children. Go home and grow up.” He turned away. “Maybe I’ll give you your chance in a few years.”

  “The hell you will.” Patrick fastened his hand on Dominic’s arm and whirled him around to face him. “Damn you, I’m going to—” He broke off and suddenly the fury was fading from his face. “You did it deliberately,” he said slowly.

  “And I’ll do it again.” Dominic met his gaze with a cool steadiness. “I’ll hurt you where you’re raw. I’ll uncover all the wounds you’ve hidden for years and make you bleed. Do you think you can stand that?”

  “You son of a bitch.”

  “Yes.” Dominic’s lips twisted in a crooked smile. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.” He jerked his arm from Patrick’s grasp. “I’ve learned to do what I have to do to get my own way. Go home, Patrick, you won’t like what I’ll do to you if you stay.”

  He turned and walked around the cabin without another glance.

  He almost trampled over Silver, who was standing only a few yards away, leaning against the rough logs of the cabin. “I was coming to see if you had brought any medicine for the woman,” she said as she slowly straightened. “And then I decided to listen. We heathen Indians have no scruples about things like that, you know.”

  Something flickered in Dominic’s expression. “I didn’t know. The Indians I’ve known have usually had a more highly developed sense of honor than most white men.”

  She met his eyes. “Yet you speak of my aunt, Rising Star, as if she were a whore, as if all Indian women are whores. What you believe has little meaning to me, but I found it … curious. My aunt regards you with affection.”

  “I regard Rising Star with affection also. You weren’t meant to hear my words; they held no truth. Sometimes it’s necessary to …” Dominic trailed off and then continued wearily. “I apologize if I hurt you.”

  “You didn’t hurt me, I permit no one to hurt me. I knew what you were doing. You wanted to send Patrick home to safety and you used what weapons were at hand. I would do the s
ame.” She smiled sweetly. “If I had not known that, I would have plunged my knife into your back, or better yet used it to remove the part of the body with which white men make whores of virtuous Apache women.”

  For a moment Dominic felt the heaviness of spirit he was experiencing lighten and a faint smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “Then I’m extremely glad you’re so perceptive. I’m very fond of that particular body part.”

  “Most men are,” Silver said dryly. “They pale and tremble when it is threatened. Why is that? I wonder. You’d think they would value their limbs or their eyes more. Men are very foolish.” She dismissed the subject of masculine unreasonableness with a shrug. “Do you wish me to go away for a little while? Your woman is awake again.”

  “How is she?”

  “She gains strength slowly; it will take time.” Her eyes narrowed. “You could take her to Killara. They would treat her very well if she brought you back to them.”

  “No!”

  “You need not shout at me. I do not care whether you ever go back. It is nothing to me. It is your woman who needs a place to heal. Are you going to keep her lying on that dusty mat on the floor? She would be better off at my people’s village. At least there I could give her soft furs to cushion her and not have to—”

  “Stop stinging me with that scorpion tongue, dammit,” Dominic said. “I’m taking her back to the hotel at Hell’s Bluff as soon as she’s able to travel. When will that be?”

  “She will not be able to sit on a horse by herself, but if you could make her comfortable, she could leave tomorrow. It would be better than keeping her here. She is not accustomed to roughness.” Silver continued grudgingly, “Though I think she would suffer it without a complaint. Her spirit is stronger than her body.”

  So Silver had discovered that as well. “She won’t have to suffer it. I’ll give her whatever she needs to make her well. Will you come with me, Silver? I don’t know what kind of reception she’s going to receive in Hell’s Bluff.” He smiled bitterly. “I made sure I burned all her bridges when I took her away. The good people of the town may be very cruel to her if we don’t protect her.”

  “You … need me?”

  “I need you.”

  Silver quickly took pains to mask any sign of the pleasure she felt. “Of course you need me. How could you take care of her by yourself? You are only a man, and a white man at that. I will come and no one will be cruel to her.” Her smile was fierce. “More than once.” She turned away. “Now I will go for a walk and you will tell her she will not be alone when you take her back to town. Wipe the blood from your face. You must not frighten her.”

  Dominic lifted his fingers to his lips and it came away with drops of blood. “Yes, ma’am.” He jerked the handkerchief out of his back pocket and dabbed at his split lip. “Anything else?”

  “No, not at the moment.” She glanced back over her shoulder and smiled. Dominic inhaled sharply. At that moment she looked so much like Boyd, there could be no question of her parentage. Why couldn’t Da see the resemblance? Why did he deny the truth so stubbornly? “I’ll let you know if I wish anything else later. After all, white men have made good slaves for Apaches before this.”

  He bowed slightly. “Yours to command.”

  To his surprise a slight flush darkened her golden skin. “You needn’t mock me,” she said, her eyes blazing. “I know how you all feel.” She turned and walked away swiftly.

  Dominic gazed after her, silently cursing Boyd and Da and himself. At that moment he had seen a glimpse of something hurt and vulnerable beneath the fierceness Silver wore about her like a cloak. In no logical way could he compare her to Elspeth, but for a fleeting instant she had reminded him of his little owl, struggling desperately to be brave against overwhelming odds.

  His little owl, his Elspeth. How easily possessiveness crept into his thoughts when they concerned Elspeth. But he mustn’t think of her as belonging to him. He couldn’t let her become closer to him than she was already, any more than he could allow Patrick to come nearer. He had done enough to her without exposing her to more danger. Not that she would want to be close to him, he thought moodily. She would probably be on the stage and hightailing it out of Hell’s Bluff as soon as she could totter out of bed.

  He drew a deep breath and squared his shoulders. It was time to face her. He had been dreading the confrontation since Patrick had told him she had regained consciousness, but he would put it off no longer.

  Elspeth’s eyes were closed when he walked into the cabin, but they opened at once to gaze up at him with startled alertness. She had been expecting him, she had known he would come, and yet her breath seemed to stop when she saw him. He was unsmiling and his familiar grim expression made her suddenly remember what she had been trying to forget since the moment she had awakened to see Silver sitting beside her.

  The hot color flew to her cheeks and she tried to sit up. The tan blanket slipped and she grabbed at it frantically, abruptly conscious that she was completely unclothed beneath it.

  “Have you no sense?” Dominic was across the room in three strides and dropping to his knees at her side. “Lie down before you fall down. You can stop looking at me like I’m some sort of ogre. I’m not going to hurt you.”

  “No?” she whispered. “You’ve changed your mind then? About ravishing me, I mean.”

  A flicker of pain softened his expression. “I’ve changed my mind. I won’t ask you to forgive me, I know there’s no forgiveness possible. But for God’s sake, don’t be afraid of me. I won’t hurt you. All you have to do is concentrate on getting well.”

  The tension flowed out of her and she relaxed slowly. She nestled her cheek on the suede of his jacket that still served as her pillow. “I thought you would change your mind once you had gotten over your anger with me. You didn’t really want to bed me. I knew that.”

  “Did you? Clever of you.” He was acutely conscious of the vibrant textures of her. Her long hair was flowing silk against the rough black suede of his coat, and the flesh of her shoulders gleamed with the luminous transparency he remembered as if it had been carved into his memory with the blade of a tomahawk. Dear God, he was wanting her again. He hadn’t expected desire. He had felt nothing but aching regret and tenderness all the time he was caring for her, and yet now desire was upon him again, sharper and more alive than ever before. “I’m no threat to you. Patrick said I’d gone loco. I guess he was right.”

  “Loco?”

  “Horses sometimes eat loco weed and go berserk out here,” Dominic said. “He meant I went wild and started acting crazy.”

  “I see. It’s a very colorful word, isn’t it? You have many words that—” She broke off as her throat tightened and the breath left her body. He was looking at her with that same expression she had seen as he lay beside her on the mat that night. His lips held a heavy sensuality and the hollowed lines of his cheeks were taut with hunger. Then he looked away and she could breathe again.

  She must have been mistaken. He had said he no longer wanted her and there was no reason to disbelieve him. She knew very well she was not a woman a man would want to bed. “I should like to study the origin of some of your American words sometime. Perhaps when we come back from Kantalan I—”

  “Kantalan.” His glance flew back to her face. “I would have thought you’d realize by now that I have no intention of taking you to Kantalan.” He slowly shook his head in wonder. “I can’t understand you. You were nearly raped, you fell into a gorge and almost split your head open. You’ve taken risks that no sane woman would take, and all because you want to find a lost city which probably no longer exists, if it ever did.”

  “But it does exist,” she said softly. Her eyes grew misty and faraway. “I know it does. All my life I’ve dreamed of Kantalan and known that I would go there someday. From the first moment I heard my father speak of it, I knew I’d walk the streets of Kantalan and see the temples and—” She broke off as he made a sharp exclamation. She frowne
d in puzzlement as she saw his expression held surprise and for a flickering moment even a touch of fear. Then it was quickly shuttered again and she thought she must have been mistaken. “Is there something wrong?”

  “Walk the streets of Kantalan,” he repeated. “It’s a curious phrase. I suppose it just startled me. You act as if you can really see yourself there.”

  “I can.” She raised herself on one elbow, her eyes bright with eagerness. “Sometimes I see it and know that I belong there. I realize it’s only my imagination, but there’s nothing wrong with dreaming, is there? Sometimes reality is more bearable if one comes to it from dreams. Haven’t you ever had a dream that was so strong, so clear, it was more real than the world around you?”

  “Yes.” Killara. Many times he had dreamed he was home at Killara and woke to find only bitterness, ashes, and loneliness. “Yes, I’ve had dreams like that.”

  “Then surely you realize how I feel about Kantalan. Won’t you take me there?”

  Walk the streets of Kantalan. The phrase echoed in his memory and sent a chill rippling down his spine. Coincidence. It had to be the merest coincidence, but it still brought him the same sense of fear and dread he had known the night White Buffalo had told him the prophecy.

  She was looking at him as if he could grant her the gift she had yearned for all the days of her life. He felt suddenly heady with power. He could give her this. He had hurt and shamed her, but he could make amends by giving her what she asked. He opened his lips to answer her and then closed them again without speaking. If White Buffalo’s prophecy held any truth, what she wanted could also bring her death and he would not risk it. Perhaps he believed more in that prophecy than he had thought, perhaps his skepticism regarding Kantalan had actually cloaked fear.

  He stood up. “No, I won’t take you to Kantalan.”

  Her eyes were suddenly blazing with excitement. “But you could take me. You know where it is, don’t you?”

  They had gone beyond subterfuge. He wouldn’t lie to her again. “I know where Kantalan is supposed to be. That doesn’t mean it’s actually there.” His lips tightened. “And I won’t take you. Sometimes it’s better for everyone not to have a dream realized.”