Second String Savior

by Rick Gualtieri

  “Sorry,” Gary said, also taking it down a notch. “Man, you look a little green, Jess.”

  I quickly stared at my hands to make certain he wasn’t being literal. Phew, normal flesh tones, but with the way my week was going—

  Perhaps noticing that I wasn’t in any shape to discuss the finer points of spell casting, he abruptly changed the subject. “So, looking forward to your date on Friday?”

  And there came the spray of coffee from my mouth to the table.

  After I’d cleaned up the mess, the words left my lips before I was even certain I was going to say them. “Actually, I think I’m looking forward to those ringside seats.”

  “What? We’re talking Tony Castorini here. Your own personal meathead.”

  “I know and don’t call him a meathead.”

  Gary sat stunned for a few minutes. I let him sweat it out while I partook of chocolatey goodness. “It’s simple, really. Tony knows the me that he’s seen at Justice Comics a few times. My dad, on the other hand, has known me my whole life. Superspy or not, there’s no way Julius is going to fool him.”

  “But Boston—”

  “Is a big place. Seriously, we’re getting overpriced Italian food then watching grown men beat each other senseless, not storming some vampire castle.”

  “Car wash.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Never mind. It’s just that, you’ve been wanting this for—”

  “It’s just one date. I’m sure Julius is professional enough not to ruin it for me. Besides, I’ll have plenty of time to catch up later so that I can actually date him the right way.” Whatever that meant.

  “If you say so.”

  “I do.”

  “Very well, then did you finish any of the reading I gave you on the Meliae?”

  I gave him an exasperated look.

  “Jess, I know outdated myths are probably boring to you, but it might have some answers. While you were fighting Sienna, I was reading some more and came across a passage on the Blessing of—”

  “Don’t say it.”

  “Come on, it’s a . . . slightly unfortunate sounding name, but I’m sure it’s a metaphor.”

  “A metaphor for what?”

  He started blathering on about Gaia, forest spirits, and what sounded like a bunch of hippie fantasies. I only perked up once he added, “And then, apparently, his kids got pissed at him, cut his dick off, and the blood sprayed all over the forests of our world. The Meliae sprang forth from wherever his penis blood landed—”

  “Penis blood? So much for having an appetite. Why are Greek myths so gross? And why does this one sound so disturbingly familiar?”

  “You’re probably thinking of Kronos and Zeus, and yeah, it does seem to be a recurring theme.” Gary shrugged. “Anyway, the Meliae were charged with acting as protector spirits of this world because the Earth was literally their mother. I kid you not. Their chosen one is supposed to be—”

  “No offense, but I’m not sure I want to be chosen by penis blood spawn. Wow, talk about words I never thought I’d say.”

  “Despite what the myth says, the Meliae were considered protectors of the helpless until they became disillusioned with mankind. They asked the universe to send a worthy champion—”

  “Warrior maiden, hair like fire. I got it.” I pointed to the beanie concealing my flaming locks. “Trials and tribulations so I can show that I’m worthy, blah blah blah.” I rubbed my temples. “Look, Gary, my ridiculousness filter is kinda overflowing right now. No offense, but I think it’s going to take a bit more than some coffee for me to digest this.”

  Gary smirked. “Maybe you just need the Blessing of Uranus—”

  “Jesus Christ! I don’t want to be blessed by Uranus!” And, of course that came out way louder than I’d meant it to, causing all eyeballs in the coffee shop to turn our way.

  Welcome to my new normal.

  Chapter Seventeen: Two Places at the Same Time

  The next day started off typically enough, or at least what was no doubt supposed to be typical for me. I woke up to my intruder alert klaxon and then came downstairs to find Gary waiting to take me to my next sparring lesson. He had both coffee and a new wig to replace the one lost at school, both of which were heavily appreciated.

  For the first time in ages, school seemed like a welcome relief. People were too busy gabbing about the “sprinkler failure” to bother me much. I kept my ears open for anything unusual, but if anyone else was aware we’d been infiltrated by vampires, they weren’t talking.

  About the closest I came was when one of the Larrys stopped me in the hall to comment that I must’ve really pissed Lindsey off, but then he walked away without elaborating.

  I felt a sick twinge in my guts as he wandered away. It wasn’t so much what she might try to do to me physically. Compared to vampires, she was a joke. No. It was what she might say about me, what rumors she might even now be gleefully kickstarting, that made me sick to my stomach. What does it say about me that I’m less afraid of getting my butt kicked by a vamp than getting mocked online again? PTSD for the win.

  Speaking of the vampire, I made a detour before third period to the trophy case, mindful as I stared into it that I was likely treading on trampled vampire dust. Eww!

  I spied football trophies, basketball trophies, and a bunch of girls’ soccer wins. What could possibly have been so fascinating to that bloodsucker? I closed my eyes and tried to picture him, that wistful gaze, the feathered eighties hair. I snapped my eyes open and my focus seemed to narrow, almost of its own accord, on something sitting on the dusty corner of a lower shelf. “1987 State Academic Decathlon Champions.” Huh. Weird.

  For some reason that plaque stuck in my mind, refusing to let go. In fact, I found myself so wrapped up in my own little universe that in the break after the next period I got completely blindsided by a hand landing on my shoulder. Without thinking, I grabbed it, twisted, and wrapped it back around my potential assailant’s back, slamming Tony into the lockers before I realized who it was. “Oh no! I’m so sorry!”

  “Whoa,” Tony mouthed as I let him go. He let out a whistle and gave his arm a shake. “Remind me to never get on your bad side.”

  “Um, I wouldn’t worry too much about that.” Oh God, did I actually say that aloud?

  He chuckled, although not in a cruel way, thank goodness. “Look, I know we said we’d play it cool at school.”

  We did? “Um, yeah, of course, totally frosty. That’s me, Jesse Flores, cool as a cucumber.”

  “But do you have any plans for lunch?”

  “Lunch? You . . . and me?” My eyes widened as I saw Gary just a bit down the hallway. Oh crap, I needed to update him on what I’d noticed. Although maybe I could do that after school.

  No! This was potentially important, maybe life or death. At the very least it fell into that whole great power, great responsibility thing. “I’m sorry. I already promised Gary I’d help him with AP Euro.” Again with the easy lies. Maybe I should consider majoring in political science.

  Tony’s face fell a bit. Wait, did I just intentionally disappoint Tony Castorini? What was wrong with me?!

  The rest of the morning flew by in a haze, Tony’s face warring for prominence in my mind with some stupid nerd trophy from the eighties. Eventually I found myself sitting with Gary at our usual table, my lunch sitting uneaten in front of me.

  “You need to look up the 1987 Academic Decathlon Champions,” I finally said.

  “That’s rather random.”

  “Don’t ask me why, but I was staring at that trophy case and thinking of that vamp and it just . . . called to me.”

  “Called to you?”

  “Like one of those psychic flashes from Unbreakable.”

  “That might be easier said than done. The eighties might as well be the dark ages as far as the Internet is concerned. I’m not sure they’d have something like that online.”

  I thought about it for several long seconds, until I reali
zed the solution was staring me right in the face . . . or at least had been on just about every other school day. “Time for Plan B.”

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  I took a deep breath as I stepped into the pit of darkness—Counselor Flake’s office. She was at her desk, reading a yoga magazine and sipping something bright green and stinking of kale. Of course she would be into kale. Yea though I walk in the shadow of exasperation, I shall not be afraid.

  “Why hello there, Jessie! What brings you here on this fine Thursday? Is there something you want to talk about?” Her eyes lit up at the possibility, giving me the heebie-jeebies. One didn’t need to be supernatural to be a creep.

  Sadly, Flake was not only my touchy, feely nemesis, but she also happened to be chairperson of the yearbook committee. Oh, the indignities one was forced to endure when they were the chosen one.

  “Actually, I was wondering if I could look at some of your old yearbooks.” I pointed to the shelf next to her. Now how to sell it?

  “Oh, are you doing a project?” And then sometimes the universe hands you a gift.

  I quickly nodded. “Yeah, I’m supposed to do a comparison between now and thirty years ago . . . for a paper.”

  The grin on her face widened until I was certain her head would split in half. You know, for someone who was supposed to have deep insight into the youth of America, she seemed completely unable to recognize a bald-faced lie. I guess not too many people asked to page through her pride and joy, a collection of yearbooks going back to the inaugural year of 1959. She started talking, something about school spirit, but it was lost as my gaze fell upon the desired year: 1987. I nodded a few times, adding a smile of my own to try to match the insane enthusiasm plastered on her face.

  I pulled out my notebook—might as well play the part—and then began paging through the yearbook as she continued to pepper me with inane questions about whether I was feeling well adjusted.

  “Everything is great. In fact, I’m practically glowing,” I replied, paying her zero attention. Debate club . . . chess club . . . where the heck was academic decathlon?

  I flipped some more pages as she rambled on. “It’s also important to work on social bonds as well—”

  “It’s all about balance,” I responded, pulling a page out of Dad’s playbook.

  “Balance is a good way to put it. Oh, well, I should let you get to work. Don’t forget, though, my door is always open, if you ever need. . .”

  Yes! There it was, the academic decathlon team.

  She kept yammering, but I was too busy staring at the face of the guy who’d tried to kill me earlier this week. Holy crap, he looked like he hadn’t aged a day. Well, duh, vampire.

  I ran my finger along the caption of the state champions. One name stood out instantly—Robert Stallings. “That can’t be a coincidence.”

  “Excuse me?” Counselor Flake asked, pushing her glasses up her nose.

  “Nothing,” I said, probably a little too quickly. I hopped to my feet, barely remembering to put the book back on the shelf. “Sorry. Gotta go. Time to get ready for class.”

  “But it’s not. . .”

  I bolted before she could finish that thought. Sweet freedom! The stale hallway air had never smelled so fresh.

  Gary was already waiting for me at his locker. “Robert Stallings was on the academic decathlon team in ’87,” I said. “He was the bloodsucker looking for a ginger bitch, no doubt about it.”

  “Stallings? Like—”

  “Speak of the devil,” I whispered, catching a glimpse of auburn hair rounding the corner. She caught sight of me and her eyes opened wide. We’re talking full-on surprise here, as in of the “Holy crap, how are you still alive?” variety, or at least that was my impression. I didn’t get a chance to question her, though, as she made an abrupt about-face and disappeared around the corner again.

  Tempting as it was to follow and interrogate her, preferably with my fist, I realized that was likely counterintuitive, not to mention likely to land me in Flake’s office again. Why so aggro, Jessie? Then again, this was the first time I’d ever gone toe-to-toe with one of the popular skanks for the affections of a boy.

  Regardless, a few minutes later found Gary and me sitting in his Audi, him furiously Googling away on his phone while I mostly zoned out.

  “Robert Stallings—school valedictorian, 1988, and all-around mega brain. He was supposed to go to Harvard, but he died in a car accident right after graduation.”

  “Let me guess, he didn’t actually die.”

  “You think? Anyway, his twin brother later got married and had two kids. Can you guess who one of them is?”

  “So, we turned Lindsey’s uncle into ash. If she didn’t hate me before, I bet she does now.”

  “She might not have known.”

  “You didn’t see the look on her face. And her uncle was looking for a ginger bitch, the same thing she called me.”

  “Sending her vampire uncle to dispose of a romantic rival? Sounds a bit . . . extreme.”

  He had a point. “Think I should, I dunno, confront her or something?”

  “And say what? That you’re a vampire slayer with a backup coven of witches?”

  Okay, I didn’t have an easy answer for that one. Awkward silence for the win.

  Gary pulled up behind the strip mall next to Justice Comics where Phil, Sensei, and Other Me stood waiting. Neither of the women looked particularly pleased with their current company, while Other Me had her nose buried in her phone.

  “Why is Tony asking if there’s something going on between you and Gary?” Julius asked once we’d parked. “Are we playing the jealousy card now or after I let him get to second base?”

  “Second base? What? No! Just smooth it over, okay? Oh, and I have a chapter of physics homework, too, if you could take care of that.”

  Gary and I quickly brought the others up to speed. “We need to figure out what’s going on with Lindsey’s vampire uncle,” I explained, “and we should probably do that tonight because Gary and I are in Boston tomorrow.”

  “I really don’t like you two being in Boston,” Phil said, smoking as usual. “The place is crawling with the undead.”

  “Which is why I’ll be there as backup,” Sensei replied. “I’ve known Diego since he was five, so it wasn’t a big deal to snag an extra ticket. If we stay cool everything will be fine.”

  “No sweat. It’s not like I’m going to pick a fight. This is family time.” The last thing I wanted to do was walk into Vampire Central looking for trouble.

  Sensei smiled and nodded at me. “Atta girl. Now come on, let’s get some training in while Philomena figures out what the hell is going on. Work for you?”

  “Sounds like a plan.” I gave the others a wave and then we split up—me in the Jeep with Phil and Sensei, while Gary dropped Other Me off at work.

  Sensei immediately turned to face me in the backseat. “Now, chances are that tomorrow night will be normal, but I cannot stress it enough, Jessie—if you see anything strange, you let me know. That’s it. Don’t act, don’t approach, and don’t even so much as fucking utter the word vampire aloud. Clear?”

  “Crystal.”

  “Text me, too,” Phil added. “I can be in Boston Common instantaneously.”

  “That’s convenient,” I replied, perhaps a bit more sarcastic than intended. Guess the double dose of maternal instinct was getting to me. I toned it down a notch. “The exhibition is in a new gym in the financial district within walking distance of Chinatown, if that helps.”

  “It’s near Chinatown?” Phil exchanged a look with Sensei then glanced at me through the rearview mirror. I raised both brows and looked at her expectantly. Clearly, I was missing something. “Try to stay out of Chinatown, and whatever you do, stay away from the car wash on the far side of State Street over by 93.”

  “Wait. Gary said something about a car wash, too.”

  “Just trust us on that one, please. There’s plenty of legit-looking business
es in that area that are fronts for darker things.”

  “Relax. I’m pretty sure my dad wasn’t planning on getting our truck waxed as part of our big night out. As for the fight, it’s a public event. There’s going to be scouts and cameras and stuff.”

  Sensei nodded. “You’re probably right.” She threw me a wink. “You sure you wouldn’t rather be on a date, though?”

  “Positive.” Tempting as it was to be alone in a dark theater, snuggled next to Tony and experiencing the glory of Miyazaki on the big screen, I’d made up my mind. It didn’t feel right to ditch my dad, not when he’d sounded so excited. Besides, despite their warnings, I was having a hard time picturing vampires somehow going unnoticed in a major metropolitan area full of half a million people. I gave them both a nod and raised my hand in the scouts’ salute. “I’ll be cool. I promise.”

  Famous last words, Jess. Famous last words.

  Chapter Eighteen: Big Trouble in Little Chinatown

  “Be cool, Jessie. It’s just a fun evening out,” I whispered to my reflection as I stared out the window. We passed the welcoming monolith of the Green Monster on the right as a typical November rain fell across Boston. The only drama came when Dad innocently asked, “You know, we’re going to be awfully close to Tremont. You guys wanna go to Chinatown and get dumplings, or should we stick with pizza?”

  “Pizza!” Gary and I both said way too quickly.

  I glanced back at him. We needed to relax. However, thanks to Phil and Sensei’s constant warnings, I had a feeling I’d be seeing vampires everywhere by the time the night was through. Yeah, I needed to chill. This was supposed to be family fun time. Besides, I had the cavalry on speed dial and a voice command set up to call them if I said, “Call Pineapple,” something not likely to come up in normal conversation.

  Just as I was finally starting to feel good about this evening, I got a text message from “Jessie 2.0”. I could only grit my teeth as an adorable selfie of me, Tony, and a huge bucket of popcorn appeared on my screen. Damn it, he was even glamoured into my super-cute Spider-Gwen T-shirt. I hadn’t even worn that in public yet and here he was stealing my thunder. Everything is fine here, Other Me texted under the photo. Fine, my—