Hollywood: Rock Of Ages

by Chris Solberg

  morning, so hitting the road wasn’t a good idea. But I felt like rolling the dice, and besides, we were in LA. Cops in LA don’t pull you over unless you’re firing off rounds.

  Sure I was drunk, but it was that cool buzz that makes doing the silliest things fun. When I was still in San Diego, I always daydreamed of being in LA and doing something like this. There’s a little element of danger that is thrilling when you throw caution to the wind. I was in LA with the hottest chick who just fell into my lap at 4am on New Years Day. This is exactly why I moved to LA, and dammit, I was going to live life! On the way out, Matt followed us to the door and demanded to know where we were going because that was Matt. Always up in other people’s business! Well it was 4 in the morning, and we’re on our way out the door as if it were lunchtime. Something was amiss. Matt eyed us suspiciously like a guarded parent trying to get to the bottom of the shenanigans. Carrie had mentioned that there was a Mexican restaurant by her house that was open all night and had the best food. So we told Matt we were off to go chow down on some Bunuelos. Matt looked at us with a look that was so typical of him. That look is burnt into my memory. His eyes half shut looking you up and down with a cigarette dangling off his lip. And like a mom who knew we were full of shit, but didn’t have the energy to do anything about it, he shut the door behind us and we were off. Little did he know that there is no such thing as a Bunuelo! But I know how to say it. Bun-way-lo. So we ran out to her car and cruised downtown. Driving down the 101 I was watching the lights go by and felt like I was in some hip movie. I still had a good buzz going, driving down LA’s freeways at 4 in the morning with a hot chick. This is what I lived for and it doesn’t get any better than that.

  I began to clue in to the fact that this was not going to be the fun adventure I had envisioned when we got to the restaurant. I had pictured us hanging out at a dark place with leather booths and candles on the table, chowing down on authentic Los Angeles Mexican cuisine. I figured we’d be sipping

  cocktails after hours while the owner gave us a knowing nod and wink. Instead we were at a dingy taco shack with bright fluorescent lights in the worst part LA you could imagine. The place was full of chollos, drug addicts and homeless people digging through the trash cans. I was horrified and dismayed. I was still drunk however, so I got on a pay phone and called Matt immediately. I was laughing as I told him where I was and how I was sure that I had had made a huge mistake. For some reason when I get drunk I love to get on the horn, go figure. Well I guess she was hungry because she was gulping down a burrito while I poked at some scary looking nachos and kept an eye on the chollos. I couldn’t have been more happy than when she finished her burrito and we got up to leave. To this day, that episode seems like a bad dream and returns to haunt me at night every now and then. I know LA pretty well, but still have no idea where this place was.

  Carrie had told me that her place was one of those lofts in the old butchershop section of downtown that had turned into an artists community. Now I think everybody has seen a movie or two where the renegade cop lives in one of these places. It’s always very stylish and hip and you can get up on the roof at night for a glass of wine. Well not this place, you see, Carrie lived in a pig stye. What was I thinking? I knew better than that! I knew chicks lived like pigs, and what made me thing Carrie was any better? Well I was drunk... and I was thinking with my dick... so I guess my judgement was off! I was immediately furious with myself. We left a cool modern posh apartment at the foot of the Hollywood Hills for an abandoned packing house downtown. No, this was not Mel Gibson or Al Pacino’s movie character’s pad, this looked more like a homeless camp. There was no furniture, no bathroom or kitchen, just a cold bare cement floor with a couple of blankets bunched in the corner instead of a bed. There was nowhere to sit and I immediately wanted to go home. She had a Jack Russel Terrier and the place smelled like stinky dog with a tiny whiff of piss thrown in. By the time we got to her place, the evil grey glow in the east had developed into full fledged morning, and we had to take the dog outside to pee. Outside there was not a hint of grass or earth anywhere and the dog immediately began peeing in the broken asphalt covered in weeds and shards of glass. I don’t think I ever saw a dog take that long of a pee in my life I don’t know how long he was cooped up in there.

  I mentioned earlier that it was a horrible idea to stop anywhere to get food if you wanted to get laid and that’s exactly what happened to me. And dammit, I KNEW better than that! Chalk it up to the booze again. By now, she had sobered up entirely and lost her libido. But she wanted to talk! Yea! I managed to get her down into the grody blanket nest but she told me straight out that she wasn’t going to have sex, but we could cuddle if I wanted. I didn’t know what to do so we laid there for a second. The floor was hard, the blankets stunk, and she was starting to chatter psycho-babble, so I had enough and demanded that she take me home. I was never so happy to get back home and I swore I would never make that same mistake again. After that, I never went home with a girl again. Ever! I lived in Hollywood and that’s where I stayed.

  The BIG SHOW - Vinnie Vegas

  Our show was starting to rival a Vegas show with all our stage props and wardrobe, so Matt came up with an opening song which welcomed you to “THE BIG SHOW.” While playing a gig, the first song was always the most intense for me. I cut back on the charisma and really concentrated on hitting the right notes and stopping solid in the right spots. If I did that ok, the rest of the show would be a piece of cake. That’s when Vinnie Vegas took over and the stage presence and audience connection would kick into high gear. At that moment our 40 minute set would fly by in what seemed like 10 minutes. The last song was always the funniest because by that time, you had the audience by the leash and you could really do no wrong.

  Our last song was always “The Old Red, White, & Blue” which was the quintessential closer. Kiss had “Black Diamond” Van Halen had “Unchained” and we had “The Old Red, White, & Blue!” After the last song, you’d climb up those same stairs you came down, and there were always a pack of chicks waiting at the top. Once on top, there would be a little flurry of smooches and ass grabs as we headed back to the dressing room. I remember being the hero of the show one night because I swapped tongues with two different chicks right next to each other. Why? Because I knew everybody was watching! Besides... I had a reputation to uphold. People talked about that one for months. Chalk up another rock star moment for VV. We usually liked to keep our dressing rooms chick-free because it gave us a little bit more of an exclusive aire than the normal bands. I know that probably sounds weird, but backstage was a pretty crowded and

  cluttered place and I really didn’t see any point in trying to have sex back there. Unless you’re Liz-Bone and like the sterile glow of fluorescent lights! We specifically instructed security that no one was to be let in without a pass. No exceptions! This always brought a smile to their faces. Additionally, the guys at the Whisky actually considered our policy more professional which set up a great working relationship with the club. We had lots of fun watching hot chicks who were not used to being told no, huffing and puffing at the door. Realistically, all our guitars and accessories were back there and besides, we really wanted to pack up and get back to the pad. That’s where the fun was!

  Somehow Karizma didn’t make the jump to the St. James Apartments, she disappeared like girls sometimes do only to reappear months later out of nowhere. When I saw her last, she was dressed like a tomboy and seemed unsure and frazzled. Something was up but she didn’t let on and that was the last I saw of her. But Angie did make the jump, and I saw her there often. However, everybody had the mind-set that we were on the verge of something huge as a band, so I had to dole out attention to lots of girls rather than focus on one. In Hollywood, you can feel a certain buzz that happens very quickly, and will not happen again if you miss it. We were starting to get that feeling, so we wanted to kick it into high gear. Bigger shows, with bigger lights and bigger props. Bigger parties with mor
e girls. We had a huge white banner with our logo painted on it and hung it behind Perris’ drum set. But somehow that didn’t seem big enough now. When this happens, your buzz starts to get other people buzzed and the energy is infectious. You need to keep that fire stoked until it explodes rather than fizzle out.

  There weren’t many bands that I remember having their own custom stage outfits. There was a band named Creature who made a lame attempt to emulate KISS, and Tryx had different colored Neil Diamond type outfits which was the closest to being custom. We were at a point to where there was really nowhere left to go. Music should have been the thing to focus on, but our band was coming up with new gimmicks like outside spotlights and confetti machines. In our new outfits, we looked like The Bay City Rollers and in hindsight, I don’t think the timing could have been worse. The 80’s had now become the 90’s and we were still doing Poison and Warrant from 1984. I remember Damn Yankees came out with their CD and I got hooked on their harmonies. Meanwhile, I was getting kicked in the ass by bands like Saigon Kick who kicked up the energy and edge, while retaining their hooks. Of course, the Seattle grunge scene was starting to get more attention on our deity MTV, so people in our glam scene got nervous. Suddenly flannel shirts and flat greasy hair became the style, and that doesn’t get any further away from what we were used to at all! I think a lot of people from my Hollywood felt as though Grunge simply wiped them out of existence. I believe it was a failure to adapt that led to their doom. The world had changed, between the war in Iraq, The LA riots and the OJ trial, the world was now a completely different place and the innocence of the 80’s was gone. One by one, familiar faces disappeared and The Strip and it’s scene began to fade away. The once mighty Sunset Strip was now no more glamorous than Cahuenga.

  VINNIE VEGAS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING - Vinnie Vegas

  It’s weird how things changed so quickly at the turn of that decade. The energy that lit up the Sunset Strip was gone. Personally for me, a lot was gone as well. Leslie was gone, Karisma was gone, and Angie was gone too. Those girls had been a familiar part of my Hollywood life, and with them no longer around, I felt a bit alone. Along with them went a time and a

  lifestyle that was never to return. The strip seemed more like an arena hours after the big game and I looked around to access the situation. I felt as if I was on a the cusp of something, but I didn’t know if it was good or bad. I was about to find out.

  I took a few days off to go to Vegas one week because I had a new girlfriend that I really liked. I ended up dating her exclusively for 5 years and it was the adult relationship that I had flirted with a few times before. I really embraced that new take on life and we shared some of my best years together. After that, I embraced adulthood, and never returned to my juvenile ways again. I decided that I’d put my personal life ahead of band life for the first time and enjoyed a sun-filled weekend with my redheaded beau. That weekend was the first chapter in a new life that I took to whole-heartedly. We created a bond that was based on trust and respect and I haven’t looked back since. In hindsight, it seems silly that I played those games with girls, but I was young, naive, and I’ll admit...stupid

  There...I said it.

  I really didn’t know what to expect once I returned home because by me being gone for four days, I knew there must have been a lot of talk. But the fact is that I didn’t care. To my surprise, the guys had done some writing and had banged out 4 or 5 songs while I was in Vegas. Bobby was excited to see me and couldn’t wait to get me up to date on the new stuff. This was not what I expected, but I was pleasantly surprised. He had one song in particular, which he said Matt had done an outstanding job with, so we went to practice a little early to go over it.

  Bobby showed me the chord progression which sounded good... then we got to the chorus. Since he and I sang all the back-up vocals, he needed to tell me how they went. He started it with a disclaimer saying, “I know this is gonna be a little weird, but you gotta keep an open mind and roll with it.” Well, OK... let’s hear it. He then started chanting the phrase “Steak & Potato” over and over again while he played a rhythm. I started chuckling because I thought he might be fucking with me, but I knew he was serious because Bobby never fucked around. He really seemed enthused about the song, but must have seen the look on my face and got a little sheepish. Well, I learned the structure pretty quickly and when the rest of the guys showed up, we launched into the song. The song was called “Steak & Potato Man” and was basically about cowboys or the John Wayne image of one. But when we started chanting Steak & Potato, I looked over at Bobby and he was already looking at me. He had a smile on his face face like “No wait, maybe this IS stupid” and we sang that chorus like Tim Conway & Harvey Korman trying not to bust out in laughter. However, Matt was empathic that this song was the vanguard of a new direction for Hooligan Stew and the beginning of a new era for the band which would would rival The Who’s Quadrophenia.

  I never played that song live. In music, you put up with a lot of bullshit if you believe that it will somehow payoff in the end. After that, I knew in my heart that this band no longer offered me anything, and it’s amazing how that can set you free.

  If I closed my eyes forever,

  will it all remain unchanged?

  -Lita Ford & Ozzy Ozbourne

  Revelations

  The new beginning, 2009. - Cupkake

  So here we are... lucky to be alive, and in good health. The experiences that Vinnie and I shared, or ventures we conquered at separate moments in our lives have made us the men we are today. Vinnie and I are clean cut, well groomed and fit into what society would think as a “perfect model citizen.” I am in the profession of law enforcement (go figure) and Vinnie is an accomplished manager of a newspaper, an art designer and writer.

  Funny how you change your appearance and everyone looks at you in a different light. We had found that perfect place to raise a family, instead of a place to raise the dead. Quiet suburbia, no fancy restaurants, no giant rock clubs, no glitter... just a quaint place to spend the second half of our lives.

  Vinnie now resides in a beautiful three level home in the San Bernardino Mountains and I live in a gorgeous house in the foothills right below him. I have since been married and divorced, and currently in a wonderful relationship with a beautiful woman named Terrie Ulloa. I will hopefully at some point call my Terrie wife. Vince is happily single and has had his lion share of woman that come and go at his will. Vinnie has dodged the wedding alter for long enough! I have a feeling that will change in the next few years. I am lucky enough to have two beautiful children that I hope to God don’t feel the urge to push the envelope like Vinnie and I did in the 80’s and 90’s. You can change our appearance, but you won’t change the character that we both have waiting to burst out of both of us. Vinnie and I have not changed, the world surrounding us has. We have matured (somewhat). We don’t always carry on like rabid, sauced animals like in our past, but there is still a desire to push the limits of friends, family, and our livers during particular days in our lives. Yes, now there is still football Sundays and certain weekends that we go right back to what we know best... partying!!!

  The very weekend I had finished my last story in this book, I had a tattoo party at my home in San Bernardino that included good friends Audie Desbrow and Scott Snyder from the one and only band known as Great White. As Scott tattooed an evil skull adorning cupkake eyeballs on my right shoulder, Audie sat beside me drinking his Coors with his lovely girlfriend Darlene Conforti at his side. Tommy and Lechelle calmly waited their turn to have Scott tattoo them. Meanwhile, Vinne filmed the entire session, with a wine glass in hand, advising me that I had better not cry during the tattooing, or he would bitch-slap me to no end! We drank beers and wine, laughed and joked about the 80‘s, and commented to each other about what fantastic times we had in our rock days, sharing old stories over a lot of cocktails. The memories shared with the band members of Great White were very similar to they we had experienced in their previou
s bands.

  The tattoo party lasted all day and into the evening. The rest of our friends slowly filtered out of the party and made their way home. Scott, Vinnie and I continued the festivities for the next few hours doing shots of Jagermeister, drinking wine and continuing whatever nonsense we were up to well into the night. Terrie rolled her eyes, and took our son Dylan to bed.

  Here we were! Full circle... twenty two years later! Who was still at my home after all the dust had settled from the night before? Vinnie! I passed out cold on my bed and did not say good night to anyone. Vinnie wandered about the house in the usual “Vinnie” mode, haggling my parrot Popsicle, going in and out of the house all night. He would sleep on the balcony for short periods, waking intermittently, then he would go off wandering about the yard, as he downed beer and wine. During the drinking festival, Vinnie went so far as to pick up a large tarantula that he found in the backyard. He allowed the large spider to crawl all over his body and head which was really rare for Vinnie. I would have bet my life savings that he would not do anything like that... He hates spiders!