Shattered Essence

by NK Morales

  Putting her hand on her chest in relief she said, “Thank god.”

  “He’s not a good kisser,” I said shaking my head back and forth.

  Her hand remained over her heart and her mouth dropped again.

  “Honestly, Mom,” I said while giving her a hug. “He is 18 and I didn’t kiss him.” I love how she tried to be my friend and my mom at the same time. A sigh left my mom’s lungs as she returned my hug. As we walked I told her about the night before.

  Arriving at the barn, I watched as the group of guests rode through the corral.

  “I thought we had plenty of time,” I winced saying, “I’m so sorry, Mom.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” she added, “We’ll catch up to the others in no time. Besides, your dad picked out some nice horses for us earlier.”

  I mauled the inside of my lower lip, looking at the only two horses left. A large black one appeared twice the size as the mean-looking pinto. From the two available horses I wasn’t sure if I should take Black Beauty’s’ demon twin or Satan’s spawn. I thought now would be a good time to pray.

  “Howdy folks. I’m wrangler Sam,” he said, tightening the saddle on Satan’s spawn. “Wrangler Bob told me you two lovely ladies were experienced riders.”

  “I wouldn’t say that.” I admitted.

  “Have you ridden a horse before?” he asked.

  “Yes, but it’s been at least three years.” I was nervous. Three years was a long time. “My mom, on the other hand, rides at least three times a week.”

  Wrangler Sam lifted his cowboy hat, wiped the sweat off his forehead then put his hat back on. “Riding a horse is like riding a bike, you never forget.”

  My mom pushed me in the direction of the horses and said, “Come on Espe, pick a horse.”

  “Mom, these horses look like they want to eat me.” I really didn’t want to ride on either of these two beasts. Nervously I said, “Maybe I should stay behind.”

  But then again, I didn’t want to miss an opportunity to see Drew.

  My mom put her hands on her hips, “Maybe you should put your big girl panties on.”

  I felt my mouth fall open from shock. “That is not very nice, Mother!”

  Rubbing my sweaty palms on my thighs I turned to face wrangler Sam. “Which one of these horses is the lesser of two evils?”

  Sam chuckled. “Both of these here horses are completely broke, they know where we’re going and they know the trail. Ace here likes to trot. He knows he’s bigger than the other horses. He likes to tease them by trying to bite them. Kit Kat is headstrong. If you’re slacking on the reins too much she’ll get restless and either run straight back to the corral or lie down on the trail.”

  I couldn’t believe I was actually thinking about riding one of these beasts.

  Black Beauty’s demon twin is an arrogant bully and Satan’s spawn is a loose cannon? Wonderful, freaking wonderful! I thought.

  After comparing the two horses I said, “I’ll take Ace.”

  I figured a bully would be better than a loose cannon.

  “He’s a good horse and a fine choice,” Sam said then handed me the reins. “Sounds like Kit Kat is all yours, Mrs. Malone.”

  It only took me a couple of minutes to get comfortable in the saddle. Man I missed riding. I made a mental note to start riding more when I got home. Wrangler Sam was right, it was like riding a bike. It was all coming back to me. It felt great to be back in a saddle.

  “Can I catch up to my dad?” I asked Wrangler Sam.

  Smiling, he replied, “I think Ace would love a good run.”

  I kicked Black Beauty’s demon twin in the ribs and he took off full speed. It seemed like only a matter of seconds before I was trotting up next to my dad. The horse my dad was on was even bigger than Ace. Nevertheless the horse looked small with my dad’s large frame on it.

  “That felt great!” I said as I slowed Ace down.

  “I thought you chickened out,” my dad teased.

  I winked at him. “You thought wrong, old man.”

  Chapter 10

  Drew

  I saw her from the corner of my eye on the back of a large black horse I spotted back at the barn. The horse was running full force and at first my belly flipped. I felt the urge to save her, to protect her. My brain was trying to figure out what I needed to do to rescue her from the runaway horse. Before my pea-sized brain came up with the answer, I saw her smiling from ear to ear.

  Relieved, I realized she was in total control.

  Man she looked sexy bopping up and down on the mammoth horse. I closed my eyes, tattooing the vision to my memory. For a brief moment I was envious of the horse. I wanted to be the horse.

  When I opened my eyes I caught her eyes watching me from the side of her father. I started debating on whether or not I should introduce myself to her dad or just wave. I wasn’t even done with my mental debate when I saw her leave her father’s side. I would have to wait till later to introduce myself. It wasn’t long before she caught up to me.

  “Morning Drew, how are you?” Her voice sent chills down my body. In a good and naughty way.

  Shifting in my saddle, “It’s a perfect morning now that you’re here.” I gave her my best smile.

  She laughed. “Is that so?”

  I spoke the truth. “Yes, all true.” I grinned at her. “When you weren’t at the barn this morning I thought you weren’t coming.”

  Looking a little embarrassed she replied, “I thought I was going to be early. I had no idea I was running late.”

  “I’m glad you made it,” I responded with a smile.

  Smiling back at me she said, “There’s no place else I’d rather be.”

  Her response had the Captain’s attention.

  Her cheeks flushed pink. I couldn’t help wondering if it was from running her horse. Did she notice the movement in my pants? Maybe she was embarrassed, or did I embarrass her? She appeared to be in high spirits, vivacious almost. I craved to feel her skin on mine.

  Last night I thought today would be fun. Today I knew I was in trouble. How in the hell was I going to keep my hands off her? Truth? I didn’t really want to.

  Heaven help me, I am so screwed.

  My horse must have sensed my uneasiness; he started fidgeting. His head was moving wildly up and down. His eyes were wide as saucers as if there was something behind him he was afraid of. I turned to see what was making my horse behave so erratically. The black horse Espe was riding opened his mouth and chomped down on its target. My horse’s ass!

  A millisecond later I felt my own ass leave the saddle. My stomach dropped and I felt dread for the first time in years. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure what was happening. But I think my horse was bucking. I grabbed the horn on the saddle, dug my heels into my horses ribs, doing whatever I could to hold on.

  I think I see my life flashing before my eyes.

  I saw trees, lots of trees and shadows. I saw people in a blur. I couldn’t make out any faces. I heard screams. I heard my brother laughing hysterically.

  Screams? Shadows? Laughter? This can’t be happening to me.

  This was really messed up. It was not my life flashing before my eyes. It was only my horse running like a bat out of hell.

  I needed to control the situation. I needed to get ahold of my emotions. I needed to think fast. The only thing I could think of was to pull up on the reins to slow down my horse.

  Why are the reins dragging on the ground?

  My mouth dropped and my fear level went up ten notches. My mind was in fight or flight mode, and flight was winning. Should I try to jump off? Should I hang on till the horse gets tired and slows on its own? Should I reach for the tree branch in front of me?

  Son of a bitch!

  Too late! The branch hit my face so hard I felt my teeth rattle. I surprised myself by staying in the saddle.

  That fucking hurt!

  I could hear another horse closing in behind me. I was afraid to turn and look; what if my h
orse ran into another tree? I was embarrassed as all hell yet thankful someone was going to help me stop this monstrosity. I wasn’t sure if it was going to be wrangler Sam or wrangler Bob. I didn’t care as long as I got off this damn horse.

  “Whoa, there boy.” I heard as I saw a hand reaching over to grab the reins from near my horse’s mouth. Blinking, I couldn’t believe it wasn’t wrangler Sam or even wrangler Bob, it was Espe. She was slowing my horse down. I was completely mortified. I felt like a complete moron. A damn pussy. I was speechless, I couldn’t even look at her I was so embarrassed. I closed my eyes blew all the air out of my lungs and waited for my blood to start circulating again.

  “Wrangler Sam told me Ace here liked to tease the other horses. I never thought he would bite another horse.” She smirked at me. “Maybe Ace here liked the ass he was looking at and just couldn’t resist taking a bite.” She smiled mischievously and said, “I know I thought about it.”

  Mortification? Embarrassment? Dismissed!

  Damned if I didn’t want to drop my pants and let her take a bite. My entire body twitched right before my dick attempted to jump out of my pants. Thankfully, I was able to cover my erection by placing my hands on the horn of the saddle.

  My horse was finally standing still. It wasn’t until I had a chance to breathe easy that I realized my cheek was throbbing. I raised my hand to touch the growing knot on my cheek. I looked at Espe and noticed she was also sporting a red mark on her check.

  “Did you get hit with that branch back there too?” I was caught off guard by the pain I felt in my jaw when I spoke. “You have a big red mark on your face.” Grimacing. “It’s on the opposite side but in the same spot as mine.”

  “Huh?” She frowned and touched her check in confusion. “I don’t remember getting hit, but then again all I could think of was stopping your horse.” Sucking in her breath and wrinkling her nose. “Does my face look as bad as yours?”

  Chuckling. “Thanks. What are you saying? Are you saying I’m ugly or something?”

  “Well yeah, kind of.” I noticed she realized what she said and I raised my brows.

  “No, I didn’t mean you where ugly. I meant the bump looks ugly.” Her gaze fell toward my crotch and she started squirming. “Not like it’s all that big or anything.” I raised my eyebrows again knowing my face must be pretty messed up. Except it dawned on me, I hadn’t covered up my erection as well as I had hoped.

  “I ... I didn’t mean it wasn’t big, because I’ve never seen anything so big,” she said looking down at my crotch again.

  Fuck!

  Her face instantly turned fire engine red. “Oh god, why am I still talking?” she said while burying her face in her hands.

  I had her flustered and I couldn’t help laughing. She was baffled and embarrassed. Releasing a deep breath she said, “I’m sorry that sounded so wrong.” She rubbed the welt on her face and said, “That did not come out the way I intended it to.”

  I noticed her take a large swallow before she continued, “Let me try again. You are definitely not ugly but your face looks like it hurts. The bump on your check is big and you’re probably going to have one hell of a bruise.”

  I asked, “Does your face hurt?”

  She rubbed her welt again. “It stings a little, but I don’t think I got hit as hard as you did.”

  I said, “I’m sorry you got hurt chasing me.”

  She looked baffled as if trying to recall the moment she became injured. “I’m sorry. It’s just a little weird. I don’t remember running into anything. I must have been running on pure adrenalin and didn’t notice when or what I hit.” Smiling at me she reached over placing her hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. It’s no big deal. It will heal.” The electricity from her touch went straight to my navel.

  She gently caressed my battered face. “I’m sure mine doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as yours.” Her eyes were filled with compassion. “We should head back to the group and maybe find some ice or something cold to stop your cheek from swelling anymore.”

  I was smiling from ear to ear. “Hey, I was hoping to be your knight in shining armor. Not the other way around.”

  She bit the inside of her lower lip before saying, “Who says you’re not?”

  Damn if she wasn’t bewitching.

  I leaned into her and captured her lips in my mouth. She tasted sweet and refreshing. I wanted to taste every inch of her. I had to control the urge to place my nose on her neck. I wanted to sniff her.

  Did she smell like sugar and spice and everything nice?

  Before the Captain figured out a way to free himself from the confines of my jeans I released her lips, took control of my horse, and galloped back to the group.

  Chapter 11

  Espe

  This morning several of the guests headed out for a five-mile hike toward a hidden waterfall in the mountains. Drew and I walked behind the crowd with Paula and the rest of the teens. We laughed and joked till our sides hurt. On the way back from the falls Drew and I ditched the others, and we talked about school, our parents, and his siblings. We even talked to each other about our hopes and dreams.

  The more I learned about him the more I wanted to know. I knew his birthday was February 19th. His favorite color was blue. His favorite food was pasta. He owned a motorcycle, and he loved to surf. He lived in his parents’ guest house while attending San Diego State. He was going to spend his sophomore year studying in Mexico in hopes of becoming fluent in Spanish. His dream was to be a government agent. He thought Spanish would give him a head start.

  I contributed to the conversation by telling him I was born and bred in Colorado. Grew up in Manitou Springs, a suburb of Colorado Springs, and was attending the University of Colorado in Boulder, where I was majoring in accounting. I told him about my life as an only child. How I loved being outdoors. How I liked to draw and read in my spare time.

  By the time we arrived back at the ranch my head was in the clouds. I had never felt such a connection with another human being. I wasn’t sure if my mind was playing tricks on me. Was I only seeing and feeling what I wanted to? As much as I discounted my own mental trickery I could not dismiss the chemistry between us. I felt drawn to him. It seemed like me soul recognized him. It felt like he was an old friend I hadn’t seen in a while and all we were doing was catching up on each other’s lives. It’s hard to explain something even I don’t understand.

  Before we sat down for dinner his parents introduced themselves to my parents and me. During dinner I discovered his dad owned his own accounting firm and his mom was a special agent for the FBI. This gave Max and Tito plenty to talk about. My dad was also an accountant. Although my dad did not own his own business he was the Chief Financial Officer for a rather large international construction company. Max and my dad spent most of dinner talking about reconciliations, tax laws, audits, and the construction business.

  Drew’s mother, Mary Kay, was absolutely beautiful. She looked more like a Victoria’s Secret model than an FBI agent. She was tall and slender with golden hair long enough to cover her shoulders. Her skin was flawless with high cheekbones, a perfectly straight nose, and pouty lips. I’ll say it again. Mary Kay Malone was stunning. Drew’s dad, on the other hand, was quit ordinary looking. Other than his kind eyes and the fact that the hair next to his ears was white there was nothing about the man that stood out. He wasn’t tall or short, fat or skinny. He didn’t have bushy brows or a crooked smile. Nothing. There was no doubt all three of the Malone children got their looks from their mother.

  After dinner Drew asked, “Do you want to walk around the lake?”

  “I would,” I replied. What I really wanted to do was jump his bones.

  Scooting his chair back he added, “Maybe we could stick around for a while to see the meteor shower.”

  “Awesome!” I turned to let my parents know I would be back later.

  My dad gave me “the look” before saying, “Mija, be careful and don’t stay out too l
ate.”

  I knew the look actually meant for me not to do anything foolish. I hugged my dad from behind.

  “I’ll be good, I promise,” I whispered in my dad’s ear.

  Drew and I left the main cabin and started walking toward the lake. He reached for my hand and I laced my fingers through his. His touch was comforting.

  “Mija means daughter and Esperanza means hope, right?”

  “Yeah, why?” I asked.

  “I like to surprise myself with what I’ve retained. I took four years of Spanish in high school and two semesters at San Diego State. There’s still so much I don’t know.” Smiling he added, “I’m excited about going to Mexico City in a few weeks. I can’t even imagine how much I’ll be learning.”

  “Being thrown into the lion’s den is certainly one way to learn quickly,” I said as I nodded in approval.

  “Are you fluent?”

  “Yes, I’m a third generation American Mexican. My parents insisted I know not only Spanish but also another language.” I shifted my gaze. “I was raised with both English and Spanish being used at home. When I was eight I started taking French lessons. ”

  Smiling. “French, huh?”

  Drew pulled me into him. “You are amazing. Do you know that?”

  I felt his lips brush mine. It was gentle, soft, and I wanted more. I took a step back and let my eyes roam over him from head to toe.

  “You’re not so bad yourself Andrew Robert Malone,” I teased.

  We walked hand in hand around the lake till we reached the dock. Standing in the middle of the dock we looked up to watch the stars. I couldn’t believe how dark the sky was. Even the bright moon didn’t take away from being able to see the hazy band of light which was part of the Milky Way. I could see thousands upon thousands of stars. They were so bright. Some of them appeared to be sparkling.

  Drew sat, saying, “If we lie down we can get a better look.”

  He leaned back, pulling me down with him. He placed one arm under his head and welcomed me into the other. I moved closer by placing my head on his heart and my hand on his chest. He pointed out the summer sky constellations, Hercules, Draco, Ursa Major also known as the big dipper, Libra, and the Corona Borealis.