Even Wilder

by Bria Leigh

The boy that rescued me when I was young. The boy who made sure I wasn’t alone—or afraid. He was here with me.

  I broke the kiss, my heart soaring to new heights I never experienced before. I dug my fingernails into his shoulders. So glad the teacher left us alone I was making a lot of noise.

  “I want to hear it,” he begged against my mouth. He needed to hear the way he made me feel.

  Wilder flipped the switch, and I detonated. My moans were filling the little art studio. I shut my eyes, enjoying the delicious wave of pure pleasure whipping through me. And Wilder gave one final thrust finishing inside of me.

  He kissed me one more time, brushing my hair away from my face. He smirked at me, taking the new Violet in. The one he never saw before. A completely satisfied Violet.

  We were sweaty and hot. And smelled like sex, and I loved every second of it.

  “I’m glad you came,” I told him.

  “How could I not. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen before in my life.”

  I giggled. “I meant came to see me at college. Thank you.”

  “You don’t have to thank me. This is where I want to be.”

  “I just want to stay here forever.” I didn’t want this moment to end. “With you.”

  “You want me?” He stared down at me.

  Of course, I wanted him. That’s all I ever wanted.

  I nodded. “I want all of you. I do. In every way.”

  Violet

  I HAD ACTUAL SEX—GOOD sex. Hot sex. Not the poor attempt at sex that took place when I was younger. Sex that meant something.

  This sex made me want to do it again. That’s all I could think about when I stood there staring at Wilder’s ass as he ordered our food.

  We both were starving from the sex, and the little deli on the way back to my apartment was the first thing we saw. They had delicious sandwiches, so I wasn’t complaining. I ate there twice a week sometimes.

  “Do you want a pickle?” Wilder asked me.

  I want your pickle. “No. Just chips.”

  He took the receipt and sauntered over. I loved the way his hair looked after our romp back at the art center. And the redness in his features because he was still a little hot and bothered.

  We slid into the booth, and I sat sideways, putting my feet in his lap while we waited for our food to come.

  “I am starving,” he said.

  “So am I. Maybe I should have ordered two sandwiches.”

  He dropped his elbows on the table. “Your feet are making my dick hard.”

  I smirked peeking at the ridge in his denim. He was right. “Too bad, we’re in the middle of the deli.”

  He grabbed hold of my ankle and squeezed. “No, shit.”

  “There’s always the bathroom,” I suggested looking over my shoulder at the restrooms.

  “That’s dirty.” His smile was beautiful. “Let’s go.”

  “What about our food?”

  He slid out of the booth and went up to the counter. The man handed it over. He raised an eyebrow. “It’s already done.”

  “We can’t just...” I looked between the guy at the counter slicing meat and the bathroom and shot out of my seat. What the hell. I only lived once. I never got to be sneaky when I was younger.

  He shut the door to the bathroom and locked it. “What’s the odds are food is still there when we come out?”

  I shook my head. “Not very good.”

  He stepped closer and yanked me to his dick. He’s wasn’t sweet this time, and I liked it—a lot. He teased me through the fabric of my jeans. I was so turned on.

  He pushed me up against the wall of the bathroom and pinned my arms against it. His mouth crashed against mine—hungry for more of me. He devoured my lips, giving me a long, hard, passionate kiss.

  I bit his bottom lip, and then licked it. He grabbed hold of my face releasing one of my hands, and he snagged my lips all over again. He controlled the kiss this time, savoring me, a big grin on his lips. He loved it.

  He pulled my shirt up, hands on my breast, squeezing them. And then he yanked my bra down and clamped down on my nipple teasing it with his tongue. I gripped the back of his head.

  Wilder undid my jeans, his fingers sliding the zipper. He got them down to my knees, taking my underwear with them in one smooth move. And his tongue was on my clit paying me back for the blow job.

  He was very skilled at it. He flicked and sucked and introduced a couple of fingers. Somehow my leg ended up around his neck. I’d never felt anything like it—Mac clearly didn’t know what he was doing when he tried. But Wilder did, god he must have read the entire manual back to front over and over again.

  I watched him do one hell of a job.

  “Oh my god,” I bit down on my lip. My moans were escaping no matter how hard I bit my lip to stop them. I fell against the wall melting into a puddle of mush. Wilder held me up, letting me ride it out.

  Wilder stood up, pleased with himself. But I wasn’t done. I tore his jeans down and yanked his boxers to his knees, and once he got his pants off, he picked me up, slamming me against the wall. And he guided himself inside of me. He did all the work, thumping me against the wall with every thrust. And I held on for the ride.

  He worked his hips, and when I licked the edge of his ear, he came, using the crook of my neck to stifle the sounds, leaving his mouth. He slid out of me and set me on my feet, breathing hard.

  Someone tapped on the door, and we both went wide-eyed. We quickly dressed, afraid of getting caught fucking in the bathroom.

  I smoothed his hair down and fluffed my own.

  “Are we okay?” I asked, looking down at my clothes.

  Wilder wiped at his mouth and shook his head. “We’re fine.”

  He unlocked the door, and we hurried into a full room. Dozens of college students were all standing around. A stream of cheers started.

  “Oh my god,” I muttered, my face so red I was sure I was going to faint from humiliation.

  A couple of guys whistled as I made it past them.

  “Good job, bud!” Someone yelled.

  “Way to go, Violet!” Another person shouted. Somebody knew me. I was never going to live this down.

  We headed for the door taking off for Wilder’s car. The shouting and cheers less audible the further away we got.

  “Hey. It’s happens all the time.” Wilder told me. “You don’t think any of them fucked in a bathroom before?”

  I thought about it. I guess he was right. “You’re right. It’s not a big deal.”

  I climbed in on my side, and he jumped in on his. And when we were buckled, he honked the horn bringing all the attention on us again.

  “Wilder, what are you doing?”

  He grinned, grabbing my hand raising it high and proud. “I love this girl!”

  I laughed. Wilder was proud of me. Happy to admit he cared about me to the entire world.

  “So, what’s this mean?” Wilder asked, on the road for my apartment. He looked over at me.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Are we together?”

  “Do you want to be together?” Because I did.

  “Yes. Do you?”

  “Yes.” I admitted without a second thought.

  He grabbed my hand. “Vi, will you be my girlfriend?”

  I nodded, happy to hear it. I was happy to be in a relationship. I was happy to be in love.

  It didn’t seem so scary anymore.

  Wilder

  I HAD A GIRLFRIEND. An amazing girlfriend, the kind I always wanted. The only girlfriend I ever had. Yeah, I fucked a lot of girls, but I never did the dating thing. I never had any reason to want to. Violet was the only girl I ever wanted.

  I was in love with Violet. I always knew it. I think deep down I always believed she would be mine one day. And now she was.

  And I finally woke up in a good mood without a hangover or some shit. I pulled the covers back and slid out of Violet’s bed. She was in class, and I was alone in her ap
artment. She promised she would be back in a couple of hours, and we would go to lunch. I was leaving tomorrow, so I wanted to make the most of the last bit of time we had left. But she also had school, and I wasn’t going to make her skip class to be with me. That wasn’t the kind of boyfriend I wanted to be.

  The first thing she did when she woke up was roll over and kiss me. That kiss led to more sex, and we went at it all morning until she was almost late for class. She barely did her hair before running out the door.

  Before I jumped in the shower, I called Bing. He was happy to hear from me. But he didn’t seem to care either way if I came home or not. Lorna was more fun than me it seemed. And she cooked. I was shitty with cooking.

  “Did Lorna get you to go to school?

  “No. But she said she’s trying again tomorrow.” Bing told me. “I might give it a try. Doesn’t seem so bad anymore.”

  “Good.” That made me proud. He was surviving such a dark moment, that’s all I wanted for him. What was I saying? I wanted more than that for him. I wanted him to be better than me. Stronger than me. Everything I failed to be living in that shit storm.

  “How’s Violet?”

  I thought about telling him that we, as they said, defined the relationship. But I wanted to wait until I got home to his expression.

  “She’s good. She said to tell you hello and that she misses you.” I said, instead.

  “I’m proud of you, Wilder. You did the right thing. You’re a good guy.”

  I cleared my throat, feeling a bit emotional hearing my brother talk about me like that. “Thanks, bud.”

  “I mean it. You deserve only the best. If it weren’t for you, I would never know what it feels like to have a dad.”

  Shit, this little fucker was trying to make me cry. “I’m your brother. That’s what we do.”

  “I used to wonder why my dad didn’t care about me, why he didn’t come around. But having you made me figure out it didn’t matter because you were all those things I was missing.”

  I picked my shirt off the floor and tossed it on the bed. “I’m happy to hear that. I’ll give you a call tonight, alright?”

  “Sure. Lorna and I are making homemade pizzas and watching some movie she’s been telling me about.”

  “What Twilight?” I laughed.

  “No. I’d never watch that shit.”

  “Language bro.”

  “Sorry. I don’t watch that crap.”

  “That’s fucking better,” I laughed.

  I let him go and texted Lorna to make sure he wasn’t driving her crazy. She promised me he wasn’t and said she loved hanging out with him. She told me to have fun and quit worrying about Bing.

  I WAS WAITING OUTSIDE of her class in the hallway. It felt eerily like the old days when we were younger. Only now, I was a hell of a lot taller and fucking Violet. College looked a lot like school back home. And it didn’t make me feel that great.

  I found myself staring at the scars on my arm. Memories were playing tricks on my mind bringing me back to a place I didn’t want to feel anymore.

  I don’t know how I survived all my mom’s boyfriends. Not a single one of them was nice to me. They all hated me for different reasons—I was there. I needed to eat. I was in the way. It didn’t matter; there was always a reason to beat on me.

  How did she always find the most fucked up ones? Was it an art? Maybe she put out an ad or had a fetish. Nobody could have that much bad luck with dating.

  One of the doors opened, and a long stream of college students trickled out into the hall. Girls were clutching books to their chests. Guys were discussing football and where to go for lunch.

  I spotted Violet, happiness taking over. The dread was leaving when she made it to me. I immediately kissed her. I hadn’t in hours, and it was my god damn right now because she was my girl. I could kiss her whenever I wanted, and that was fucking incredible.

  “How’d your class go?” I asked as soon as we broke apart for air. A lot of eyes were on us. She didn’t notice, she took my hand, and we headed outside.

  “It was fine.” She seemed indifferent. “The same boring shit. Everyday. In hopes of becoming the next great, whatever it is I am going to do.”

  “Does anyone even like college?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Just the drinking and sex probably,” I told her.

  She laughed at my dumb comment. “Did you walk?”

  “No.”

  “Where do you want to eat?”

  Like I knew. I wasn’t the one who lived there. There wasn’t a whole lot to choose from that I could tell. “Whatever. You know me. I don’t care.”

  “A couple of girls came up to me in class and high fived me.”

  “What?” She seemed to be waiting to blurt that out. “I thought we were talking about food. “They high fived you?”

  “I guess everyone knows about the deli sex. Nobody was mean. But a lot of them were impressed. They said you’re a fine piece of ass.” She smiled, beaming with pride.

  “It only matters to me what you think.”

  “I’ve always thought you were a fine piece of ass. Even before you knew you were.” She grinned, and I shoved her.

  “The first time I jerked it was to you,” I said back. If she wanted to make me uncomfortable, I was going to give it right back. And it was true. The moment puberty took over, Violet was always on my mind. It wasn’t hard to believe I soiled many a sock because of her.

  “You don’t have to say that because I’m your girlfriend now.”

  “I’m serious. I’ve been into you my whole life.” Was it weird I was admitting it? Shit, now I was worried she thought I was some weird guy engraving her name into my chest. Or maybe she found it cute, I couldn’t tell. “Is that weird?”

  She shook her head. “No. Because I know the exact moment, I knew I was into you too.” She looked down at her feet.

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah. And I was always afraid someone was going to come along and steal you away from me. Because you were hot and you knew it.”

  To hear she ever had such a fear shocked me. We both held onto the same feelings and took entirely too long to confess how much we cared for one another.

  I wasn’t going to let that happen anymore. Violet was what I wanted. And I wasn’t going to let her slip away ever again.

  “I wish you could stay longer,” she admitted, we stopped at the crosswalk and waited for the light to change from the red man to a white one.

  “I do too.” Our first problem. We were living hours away from each other. She was trying to better her life. And I had a little brother who needed me.

  “It will be fine. We’ll be fine,” she insisted. I could see it in her eyes. It bothered her I had to leave tomorrow. We were closer now than before.

  Wilder

  THE DRIVE WAS FINALLY over. I pulled into my driveway happy to be home. I checked the mail and shuffled through it as I headed up the porch steps. There was a lot of junk mail, and a letter addressed to me no return to sender.

  I unlocked the door and went inside, throwing the mail on the table by the door. And collected old newspapers and junk around the livingroom.

  My phone rang.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, this is Charles from Eggleston funeral home. We have been trying to get a hold of Wilder Elordi.”

  I ran a hand down the back of my neck. Not the way I wanted to start the first day back. “This is him.”

  “We have your mother Julie’s ashes ready for you to pick up. At your earliest convenience.”

  My throat felt thick. I swallowed down the sick feeling forming on the inside. My mother was now nothing more than ashes. I wanted to tell him I wasn’t interested and to throw them in the trash. But I knew that wasn’t the right thing to do.

  “Okay. I’ll stop by later and get them.”

  “See you then, sir. And again, sorry for your loss.”

  “Uh. Thanks.” Fuck this shit. I toss
ed my phone on the couch. And drop down beside it. He was sorry for my loss. If he knew anything about my mother, he wouldn’t be sorry at all.

  I got up, walked into the kitchen, and opened the cabinet above the refrigerator. I took out the bottle of rum, cracked open a can of coke and poured them both into a big glass. And I walked through the house drinking it down in hopes of quieting the feelings going on in my head about my mom.

  I was going to pick up my mother in a box. Her body reduced to nothing more than dust. She found a way to become a burden even after dying.

  I looked up when Bing came through the door with Lorna. She looked around the house before settling on me and the cup in my hand. “Welcome home.”

  “Hey.”

  She tilted her head, knowing something wasn’t right with me. She handed Bing his duffel bag. “Why don’t you take this to your room and unpack?”

  Bing nodded, taking off for the hallway. He knew something was up.

  “How was the visit?”

  “Visit was great. I am now dating your daughter.” I took another swallow of rum and coke. “How was Bing?”

  “Bing and I had a lot of fun.” She kept her eyes on me, watching me chew on a piece of ice. “So, you and Violet are together, and you’re like this?”

  “This, I was just thirsty.”

  “Bullshit. What’s wrong?”

  I exhaled. “Funeral home called said time to pick her up.”

  There I was big, strong, Wilder letting my fucking mother consume me. Why couldn’t I stop it from happening?

  I was supposed to call Vi and let her know when I got home. And I was already getting plastered instead of doing the one thing she asked me to do.

  “Okay.” She took my drink and walked it over to the counter and dumped the rest of it down the drain. There wasn’t much left. “I can come with you.”

  I raked a hand through my hair and pretended it didn’t matter. “You don’t have to. It’s just some dust in a box. I think I can handle it.”

  Yeah right. Lorna wasn’t buying it. She knew it was so much more than that. And now she was standing a lot closer than I wanted at the moment. She forced her love and hugs on me.