Least Said

by Pamela Fudge

  I was at the stage of rolling portions of it out, ready to start covering cakes that were ready and waiting, when I heard a noise on the other side of the door and realised someone was actually in the house. I froze, rolling pin in hand, and moved quietly across the room. Yes, there was definitely someone there, moving furtively around.

  I almost called Jon’s name, because who else could it possibly be? Though why he wouldn’t have called out and announced his presence the minute he came in, I had no idea. Something kept me silent, and all the time my mind was working overtime. Not a burglar, surely? Not in the middle of the day.

  Had I left my key in the front door, or could I even have left the door ajar? I had been distracted and not really paying too much attention when I came in. Should I stay in here and remain silent, hoping that whoever it was would take what they wanted and leave, or should I step boldly through the door and confront them? What I should do I finally decided after long minutes of total indecision, was to ring the police, but first I should lock the door.

  I had taken only a single step towards it, with my hand already stretched out to grasp the key, when the handle began to turn very slowly and I froze on the spot. Watching in terrified fascination, I only moved when the door started to open, and then it was to step back quickly so that when the door was pushed wide I was standing behind it.

  I acted with the instinct that must come from self-preservation and, lifting the rolling pin high, I brought it crashing down on the person’s head. Then I screamed at the top of my lungs when Jon collapsed senseless at my feet.

  ‘I’ve just killed my husband,’ I sobbed to the 999 operator and then everything seemed to happen at once.

  The house became full of people, police, paramedics and, very weirdly, Tina and Calum. An apparently lifeless Jon was loaded into an ambulance, but I wasn’t allowed to go with him and all my pleas to do so fell on deaf ears, as I was escorted to the police car parked outside.

  Everything became a blur but later I recalled hiccoughing and sobbing my way through a statement of what had happened, stopping to ask repeatedly, ‘He’s not dead, is he?’ before breaking down in tears again.

  A solicitor miraculously appeared from somewhere and in no time at all I was free to go and walked out of the interview room and straight into Calum’s strong arms.

  ‘Jon?’ I was almost afraid to ask.

  ‘He’s recovering and will be fine. Just a mild case of concussion,’ Calum assured me, taking off his over-coat and wrapping it tightly around me. I hadn’t realised my teeth were chattering until then, but whether from cold or shock I had no way of telling. ‘And Tina is meeting William from school, so you don’t need to worry about him either.’

  ‘How...? Why are you both here?’ I managed, feeling more confused by the minute. ‘We weren’t expecting you, were we?’

  He shook his head. ‘Tina was worried. She finally told me the whole story, or as much as she knows, and insisted on coming to find out what was happening between you and Jon. Needless to say, she is blaming herself for what’s happening now.’

  I sighed as I climbed into Calum’s car. ‘I already told her that the full responsibility for this mess was mine.’ I didn’t point out that if I hadn’t been so paranoid about the Adonis suddenly appearing in my life, and made such a hash of coming up with idiotic reasons for his appearance, the truth would never have come out. Was it so wrong of me to wish that I could turn back time? How could I have got it all so wrong?

  The house was empty when we arrived home. Calum frowned suddenly and flicked back his sleeve to check his watch. ‘Tina should surely be back with William by now. I’m just going to give her a ring and find out where she is and what she’s doing.’

  ‘You’re where?’ I heard him say, as I went to hang Calum’s coat in the cloakroom, and then, ‘oh, ok. See you in a bit then.’

  ‘They went to the park?’ I guessed, as I stepped back into the hall where Calum was still standing.

  ‘Not quite.’ He shook his head. ‘While she was waiting for Will to come out of school, Tina phoned the hospital. She had to say she was Jon’s sister to get any information, and was told he was insisting on discharging himself, so she went straight there in a taxi – with William – because she didn’t know what else to do. They’re on their way home now.’

  ‘Oh, God,’ I said with a shudder. ‘I’m so relieved that Jon isn’t dead – but he’s going to kill me when he gets here.’

  ‘Nonsense,’ Calum managed a half-hearted laugh, ‘Jon must know you didn’t hit him on purpose – even the police finally accepted that you hit out because you thought he was an intruder.’

  I felt the ready tears fill my eyes, as I admitted, ‘I can’t seem to get anything right lately. Can you let them in when they get here, Calum? I have a few things to do.’

  Without waiting for his answer, I took myself off to my work room, visualising the mess I had left it in, and feeling the usual need I had at times of crisis to keep busy.

  A single glance round the pristine room was enough to make the tears that still threatened spill over and pour down my face. Tina had obviously kept herself busy until it was time to collect Will from school, because several cakes sported a marzipan coat and the work tops were cleared and spotless.

  I really thought I had no tears left to cry, but somehow they continued to fall though I made no sound. All day I had felt so alone, tormenting myself with how I’d managed to get everything so wrong, and then a friend’s simple act of kindness had reminded me that there was actually someone on my side.

  I didn’t hear the door open, but suddenly a pair of arms came round and held me close. I knew that it wasn’t Jon. That would have been too much to hope for, but the very next best thing was Tina, offering her love and support, just as she always had.

  ‘Thank you for this.’ I indicated the room with a sweep of my hand, and then asked in a rush,’ How is he? How is Jon?’

  ‘Oh, a bit battered and bruised – mostly his ego I have to say – but he’ll live. What the hell was he doing, sneaking around the house anyway?’ she demanded, indignantly.

  ‘I live here,’ Jon’s voice was hard and strident from the doorway, making us both jump, ‘though you both seem to have forgotten that. In fact, you both seem to have forgotten quite a lot of crucial facts that concerned me over quite a long period of time.’

  I rushed towards him. ‘Oh, my God, Jon, I can’t tell you how sorry I am. Are you all right?’

  ‘Well, obviously I’ll live, as your friend so nicely put it. No thanks to you, I might add.’

  The huge bruise so apparent on the side of his head made me flinch, but I still had to make an effort to defend myself. ‘I didn’t know it was you, Jon, I would never hurt you.’

  ‘Well,’ he said with a nasty sneer on his face, ‘we both know that’s not true, don’t we, Wendy, especially after everything that’s come to light over these past few days.’

  ‘Can we keep it down a bit everyone?’ Calum put his head round the door. ‘Let’s not forget we have a little guy out here who might well hear every word.’ He looked at our tense faces, and then suggested, ‘In fact, why don’t I take Will with me to buy a take away – but perhaps you could try and sort something out before we get back, eh?’

  In silence we listened to him encouraging William, ‘Come on then, mate. I’ve just been told no one fancies cooking so it’s takeaway tonight – and we get to choose.’

  Bless Calum, he injected so much enthusiasm into his voice that William immediately became very excited, shouting, ‘Pizza, pizza,’ at the top of his voice, and we listened to the ensuing scramble for coats and then the slam of the front door behind them.

  ‘I suppose we should be grateful that it’s not McDonalds again,’ I commented, trying desperately to inject some humour into a situation that clearly had nothing humorous about it.

  ‘I,’ Jon interjected bitterly, ‘have bugger all to be grateful for, and that’s putting it mildly. I’m suppos
ed to be grateful for a son who isn’t even mine, and a wife who sleeps around and tries to bash my brains out.’

  ‘I haven’t – I didn’t...,’ I struggled to defend myself against the charges against me, but it amounted to pleading that Will might be his, that technically I hadn’t slept around, and I hadn’t meant to bash him over the head. In other words, my defence didn’t amount to very much at all.

  ‘You have – and you did,’ he said emphatically.

  ‘And you, Jon, of course, are completely blameless in all of this.’ Tina stood by my side and matched Jon glare for glare and I could tell that she was absolutely fuming.

  ‘I have no idea what it’s got to do with you, Christina,’ he sneered, showing his absolute disgust with the use of her full name, ‘apart from the fact you’ve been in cahoots with my wife since day one, apparently. I’ll thank you to stay out of this now.’

  Yes, I could stay out of it, Jonathon,’ she came right back, ‘but it comes down to me to remind you – as I did seven years ago – what an absolute shit you were to your wife when you were having trouble conceiving. Heaping all the blame on her because she wasn’t getting pregnant and blaming her non-existent weight problem when you knew very well there could be another explanation.

  ‘Was it any wonder that she misinterpreted an apparently inappropriate text and jumped to the wrong conclusion? Was it any wonder that a few drinks and a few complimentary words went right to her head? Wendy made one mistake, Jon, one mistake but, if you’re honest, you don’t come out of it very well either, do you? Well, do you?’ she repeated harshly.

  For a long moment it really seemed as if Jon was going to crumble, and then he said furiously, ‘You can go to hell – both of you,’ and turning on his heel, he walked out.

  Chapter 18

  Jon didn’t make an appearance until long after Tina and Calum had, reluctantly, left to go back home to London, and even then not before urging me to ring them – at any time of the day or night – if I needed them for any reason, they emphasised, any reason at all.

  I guessed he was probably startled to find me sitting up in bed apparently engrossed in a book, because Jon stood there for a few very long moments in silence.

  ‘You’re in the spare room,’ I said without looking up, ‘along with all of your belongings – I thought it would make it easier all round - unless you’re intending to actually move right out of the house of course.’

  ‘What about..?’

  ‘William?’ I looked up then and directly at him. ‘I’ve explained to him that we wouldn’t be sharing a bed for the time being because you have to be very careful not to get your head wound knocked. He seemed to accept that without any problem. I am sorry I hit you, Jon, although I swear I didn’t know it was you creeping around the house. I’m sorry for everything else as well, but you’ve made it clear that you have decided you can never forgive me and I understand that I must accept that decision. Good night.’

  With that I put down my book, switched off the bedside light and settled myself for sleep. Jon didn’t move for quite some time; I could feel his presence in the doorway, and I was grateful that the darkness hid the tears that soaked my pillow as I acknowledged that our marriage really was over – and it was completely my fault, whatever Tina had said.

  *

  ‘You’ll have to let me know whether or not you still want me to cook for you and wash your clothes, etcetera,’ I said, when Jon walked into the kitchen the following morning. ‘In fact, just let me know how you want to play this and I will go along with that. The important thing that I know we both agree on, is that William shouldn’t be upset.’

  When I took a quick glance in his direction, it was immediately clear to see I wasn’t the only one to have suffered from a wakeful night. He opened his mouth to speak. Then he closed it quickly again as Will came trotting in, chattering happily about the day ahead, and reminding me of his play-date with Tristan after school. I was immensely grateful for the impression of normality he brought into the room with him.

  ‘I’ll walk you to school, then,’ I told him, before Jon could offer, ‘so that I can check with Lucy that it’s still happening.’

  I left them to their breakfast then and went off to make sure Will had everything he would need for the school day. Remembering he had PE that morning with the man who might well be his biological father gave me a bit of a pang, but I did feel calmer about Gareth now that he’d made it perfectly clear that he had no interest in my son. However, I hoped he’d given serious thought to the recommendation I’d made that he remove himself and his family far away from the link with the past - and me - which otherwise might well come back to haunt him in all sorts of uncomfortable ways.

  Will skipped happily along beside me, talking nineteen to the dozen, his small hand tucked securely in mine. It was obvious he didn’t have a care in the world, for which I was tremendously grateful. It was obvious that – at some point – Jon and I were going to have to have a serious discussion about the future of us as a family, but for now I think we had both accepted that we would just have to rub along somehow.

  While I was talking to Lucy I caught sight of Gareth Montgomery over her shoulder, ushering children through the school date. He glanced briefly in my direction, but didn’t acknowledge that he’d seen me or even knew me in any way. I suppose, as far as he was concerned, we had said everything there was to say. I supposed that was right. I could advise that he move away but I could hardly force him to.

  With no mid-afternoon school run to break it up, the whole day stretched out in front of me. I was determined to make the most of every second. It seemed increasingly likely that, at some point in the future, I could find myself a single parent. That being the case, keeping up with my current orders and increasing my client list was more important than it had ever been.

  This time, I made quite certain the house was empty, and Jon definitely wasn’t at home. I also locked my work room once I was inside and anticipating the phone call, I rang Tina first.

  Also anticipating what her first words would be, I began the conversation by saying, ‘I’m fine.’

  ‘Did he..? Was he..? What will you..? How will you..?’ the questions came thick and fast.

  ‘How will I cope?’ I shrugged, though I knew Tina couldn’t see the dismissive movement. ‘Well, we’ll have to rub along for now until such time as Jon decides what exactly he wants to do. I’ve moved his things into the spare room, using his head wound and the need to be careful of it as an excuse that William seems to have accepted. It’s all a bit awkward, but I can’t expect much else under the circumstances, can I?’

  ‘Well, as you heard me tell Jon last night, he is hardly blameless,’ Tina said, her tone firm.

  ‘But he didn’t actually cheat on me, did he, Tina? I have to hold my hands up and accept my punishment – whatever that turns out to be – and as I said, at the moment it’s all a bit awkward.’

  ‘So take a break away from the situation, love. It’s half term next week, isn’t it? So why not bring William and stay with us for the week. You won’t disturb me,’ she said, obviously anticipating what my main objection would be. ‘You can come and go exactly as you please, and Will is just at the right age to enjoy all the touristy things London has to offer. Go on, say yes. We would love to have you – and it will give Jon time on his own to think about the future and exactly how he sees it working out.’

  ‘We-ell,’ I hesitated, though I was already halfway to being convinced, ‘I have a lot of orders in, but if I can get on top of those we’ll come, thank you.’

  The invitation gave me the incentive I needed to crack on at a steady pace. I mixed and baked, marzipanned, iced and decorated, moving seamlessly from one area to the next, appreciating the space available that allowed me to keep cakes at various stages in the process separately.

  I worked steadily and totally lost track of the time but, eventually, feeling light-headed and a bit sick, I unlocked the door and went in search of a
lunchtime sandwich. Coming face to face with Jon in the kitchen I almost jumped out of my skin.

  ‘Christ, you almost gave me a heart-attack,’ I yelped, clutching my chest theatrically. ‘I wasn’t expecting you home for lunch.’

  He looked at me strangely. ‘Lunch?’ he said. ‘It’s seven o’clock in the evening. Lucy will be dropping William off any time now. Have you been working all day – without a break?’

  ‘Well, I’ve got a lot on,’ I don’t know why I sounded so defensive.

  ‘Shall I order in a takeaway?’

  God, my mouth watered at the very thought of a Chinese, Indian. KFC or anything at all really, but there was no way I was going to admit it and luckily the doorbell went just at that minute.

  As I went to answer it, I said over my shoulder, ‘No thanks, I’m not really hungry. I might have a sandwich later.’

  Will threw himself into my arms and I hugged him so tight that he squealed. He smelled of fresh air and his favourite shampoo.

  ‘What do you say to Lucy,’ I prompted, and he said obediently, ‘Thank you so much for having me. I’ve had a lovely time.’

  ‘Oh, you’re so welcome, William. They were absolutely as good as gold,’ she told me, patting Will’s head. ‘Hey, are you ok?’ she asked. ‘You’re as pale as a ghost.’

  ‘I’m fine,’ I assured her, though I was feeling far from it, with a banging headache that I was fully aware I owed to low blood sugar on account of me having not eaten for hours.

  William went racing off to look for Jon and, as Lucy and I said our goodbyes, he appeared with Will hanging from his neck like a little monkey.

  Jon nodded to Lucy and, as I closed the door behind her, he said, ‘I’m on bath-time duty.’

  Ignoring Jon, I just spoke to William, saying with a smile, ‘I’ll be up to tuck you in later.’