The Undead Day Fifteen

by RR Haywood

  In the kitchen we find the two wives looking very concerned, but I do note that everyone looks clean and healthy, even with a light tan on their faces which must be from a safe enclosed rear garden, either that or a sunbed in the house. But then doctors wouldn’t have sunbeds in their houses would they?

  ‘Hello,’ I nod politely at the two women, ‘I’m Howie, this is Lani and Paula. Very nice to meet you.’

  Neither say anything but look aghast at the state of us, glancing down I realise we’re all still encrusted in blood and gore from the fight in the circus. ‘Shit…sorry,’ I grimace, ‘we er…we had some issues on the way here.’

  ‘Issues?’ Bearded Stone asks in his deep cultured voice.

  ‘Zombies, Sir,’ I reply, ‘lots of them.’

  ‘And you killed them?’ One of the wives asks in a tone tinged with excitement.

  ‘Er, yes, yes we did…we kind of had to otherwise…well, I’m sure you can er…’

  ‘Lani is your wife?’ The same woman asks, ‘the man we met said you and the er…well he said Chinese but you don’t look Chinese,’ she says to Lani.

  ‘Thai,’ Lani sighs, ‘but don’t worry and yes, Mr Howie and I are er…well we’re together,’ she offers me a warm smile which I know I don’t deserve and is clearly done to try and reassure the Doctors.

  ‘Mr Howie?’ You call him mister?’ Bearded Stone is quick to pick up on that.

  ‘Only in front of the others,’ Lani smiles, ‘trust me, he gets called lots of other things when we’re alone. He might be the leader of the living army but he’s still a bloody idiot.’

  ‘Oh aren’t they all,’ the same woman smiles warmly.

  ‘Living army?’ Bearded Stone clings onto his suspicious countenance, unlike his affable brother who has already sat down to stare at us with interest.

  ‘I’m joking,’ Lani smiles, ‘it’s just a private joke between us, but er…anyway, so…what do you think about coming with us?’ She asks brightly, ‘of course your wives are more than welcome too, and we can take any personal possessions you want.’

  ‘Wives?’ The lady who spoke first smiles and looks at bearded Stone and affable Stone in confusion.

  ‘They think we’re brothers,’ affable Stone replies.

  ‘Er,’ Lani glances at me.

  ‘Sorry, you said you’re both Doctor Stone,’ I ask.

  ‘We are,’ affable Stone says, ‘we’re married…’ he pauses while we stare back blankly, ‘to each other…we’re married to each other…in a relationship? Married? I took Heathcliff’s name and became Doctor Stone too.’

  ‘Oh,’ I nod slowly feeling the crimson blush spread across my cheeks, ‘right…yes…not brothers…yeah I thought the pictures were a bit weird for brothers…’ Shit, I can’t believe I just said that.

  ‘Of course, my mistake entirely,’ Paula rescues me, ‘I shouldn’t have assumed anything, please accept my apologies.’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ affable Stone replies, ‘you’re not the first.’

  ‘So, you are Heathcliff?’ I ask beardy who nods seriously and bristles his beard in a magnificent way.

  ‘Andrew,’ affable Stone smiles, ‘nice to meet you.’

  ‘And you…er…’ I look to the two women and hesitate before I put my foot in it again.

  ‘Well, I suppose I should do the introductions,’ Heathcliff says, ‘this is Doctor Anne Carlton and Doctor Lisa Franklin.’

  ‘And no,’ Anne, the lady who spoke to us says with a smile, ‘we’re not Lesbians.’

  ‘No, of course not…’ I gabble, ‘I mean…you know…like, it wouldn’t matter if you were but you’re not so…yeah, really I didn’t think you were just because of the er…I mean um…’

  ‘Howie,’ Lani snaps.

  ‘Roger, shutting up,’ I nod and blush even more.

  ‘Four doctors?’ Paula takes over, as smooth as anything, ‘all medical doctors?’

  ‘We are,’ Heathcliff replies stiffly.

  ‘Do you specialise?’ She asks.

  ‘I am a senior consultant for orthopaedics,’ Heathcliff gives his title in a pompous way.

  ‘Oh give it a rest, Cliff,’ Andrew sighs, ‘anyone can see they are who they say they are, come in,’ he waves an arm at us, ‘do you want to sit down? Something to drink? Your fellows outside can come in too…although I don’t think we have enough seats for everyone.’

  ‘No no,’ I wave him back, ‘they’ll be fine. Listen, we understand your suspicions and you are right to be that way but, as we said outside, we need doctors and one of our team said it was likely you didn’t believe us but I have been bitten several times,’ I explain quickly, looking to each of them in turn, ‘Lani was the first, she was actually turned…she became one of them but she recovered…I’ve been bitten loads but…nothing, same with the dog and Cookey outside.’

  ‘Not possible,’ Cliff announces promptly.

  ‘Entirely possible, Cliff,’ Anne cuts him off, ‘we’ve been stuck in here for god knows how long and we don’t know a damned thing…’

  ‘I love you dearly Cliff,’ Andrew says softly, ‘but let them speak, please…go on,’ he nods at me.

  ‘That’s it,’ I shrug, ‘we don’t know anything…well, no…there is more to tell, a whole lot more but er…that’s not for now.’

  ‘Oh, I think it is,’ Andrew, despite the affable nature shows what a great communicator he is, ‘we’re all doctors and used to cutting through the waffle…and you need our help more than we need yours…’ he smiles warmly, putting me at rest.

  ‘The short version, please,’ Lani warns me.

  So I do the short version. Running through it as quickly as possible. Paula listens as intently as they do and I realise how used to her I’ve become already and forget she hasn’t been with us the whole time. Mid-way through and Clarence is at the door, worrying that we’re taking too long and checking on us. He comes in, nodding hello’s and resting his frame against the kitchen doorway while I finish off.

  ‘Indeed, yes…indeed,’ Cliff remarks while rocking on his heels, ‘indeed,’ he repeats, ‘a veritable tale of woe and dastardly doings…’

  ‘Ignore my husband,’ Andrew sighs mildly, ‘he does this when he’s anxious.’

  ‘I am not anxious, Andrew.’

  ‘Course not, Cliff…well, Doctors? What do you make of that?’

  ‘I’d say it’s a pity none of us specialised in diseases or viruses,’ Anne quips, ‘you remember much about biology, Andrew?’

  ‘Fraid not, Annie,’ Andrew sighs. Real doctors. I’m in a room with real doctors. Unflappable, cynical, jaded and the intelligence is pouring off them.

  ‘Well, yes…may I make a suggestion?’ Heathcliff asks his group.

  ‘Please do,’ Anne replies languidly.

  ‘I would suggest we examine our patients, as a group, and draw our conclusions from what we can see for ourselves. Have we got our bags here?’

  ‘You know we do, Cliff,’ Anne tuts, ‘you told us to bring them…and then you checked we had them when we arrived. Forgive our laconic tones,’ she says to us, ‘we’re NHS you see, tired, overworked and overstressed…’

  ‘We have just had fifteen days off though,’ Lisa remarks for the first time, ‘which is a darn sight more than we normally get at once.’

  ‘True,’ Andrew nods.

  ‘You seem to have coped well enough,’ I say, ‘I mean, you all look well, healthy, clean…the house is in order…far better than most we’ve seen anyway.’

  ‘Many hands make light work,’ Andrew smiles.

  ‘Or too many cooks spoil the broth,’ Heathcliff grumbles into his beard.

  ‘Examinations,’ Lisa is on her feet and moving into action, ‘I’ll get the bags, we doing them together or apart?’

  ‘The bitten ones together I would say, the rest can be done apart,’ Andrew replies, ‘do you want to get your chaps in then,’ he looks over, ‘take them into the front room and we’ll go from there.’

  Lisa squee
zes past Clarence heading into the hallway while Andrew and Anne make for the sink to start a thorough hand scrubbing process. Heathcliff rocks on his heels then hooks his thumbs into the hoops of his corduroy trousers, ‘yes,’ he intones, ‘let’s get you examined.’

  ‘You bring them in,’ I say to the other three, ‘I’ll go first and for god’s sake tell the lads to behave themselves.’

  ‘They will,’ Clarence rumbles.

  ‘They never do,’ Lani corrects.

  ‘Oh and er…remind them about appropriate use of humour.’

  ‘Oh shit yes,’ Lani turns to me with a look of horror, ‘I’ll get Dave to tell them.’

  I feel more nervous of Cookey and Blowers saying something awful than I do about being examined by four doctors at the same time. What if they make a gay joke or start swearing about bumming each other? Oh shit…this has got disaster written all over it.

  ‘Our lads,’ I cough into my hand, ‘they’re er…quite young, you know…young squaddies with a er…strong sense of humour.’

  ‘Good,’ Heathcliff finally gives me a big toothy smile, ‘healthy young lads having a good old joke about, full of japes and spirit. Best coping mechanism known to mankind, humour that is. Keep you on your toes do they?’

  ‘Could say that,’ I nod but feel my stomach getting ready to drop out my arse.

  ‘And you’re in charge are you? Good,’ Heathcliff smiles knowingly, ‘what regiment were you in?’

  ‘The Tesco regiment,’ why did I say that? ‘I mean, I worked for Tesco…night manager.’

  ‘Good,’ Heathcliff nods, ‘well, off with it then,’ he nods at my clothes, ‘can’t do an examination with your clobber on can we old chap?’

  I nod and strip, hesitating when I get to my boxer shorts and deciding to leave them on, figuring it would be less embarrassing to be told to take them off than put them back on.

  ‘Right, everyone see okay?’ Lisa says from behind me. I turn, slightly startled at not hearing her enter the room, ‘bags are here, I got yours and Cliff’s from the cupboard, hope you don’t mind Andrew.’

  ‘Not at all, Lisa…right then…let’s have a look shall we.’

  Three doctors stalk towards me while one bearded man stands back rocking on his heels while thumbing his trousers and looking benevolent with a possibly misconstrued notion that he is in charge.

  The front door opens, feet traipsing in. No jokes, no banter. Dave must have scared the hell out of them, either that or he’s walking behind Cookey with a knife drawn.

  The door swings in as Meredith decides she doesn't like being separated and greets the new people with much wagging of tail.

  ‘She’s friendly,’ I say quickly at the looks of alarm.

  ‘Been in the wars I would say,’ Heathcliff drops into a crouch to rub her head, ‘oh yes…hmmm…let me see,’ he starts to inspect her wounds and cuts, parting the hair to check the newer ones since her hair was cut to clean the old ones. She puts up with it, happily panting away while getting loads of attention.

  Muttered comments, low voices and torches get shone in my eyes, nose, ears and mouth. My reflexes are tested, blood pressure taken and all the basics before they even start on the many wounds, cuts, bites and bruises that cover my upper body.

  ‘Definitely a bite…teeth marks…adult bite without doubt, blunt teeth…’ Lisa comments.

  ‘Same here,’ Andrew checks another one, ‘is the skin opened on yours?’

  ‘Oh without doubt, incision to the skin, blood loss without doubt…must have hurt, Mr Howie,’ she says to me.

  ‘Not at the time.’

  ‘Really? Adrenalin pumping was it?’

  ‘Something like that, er…listen I did mention it before but er...well, I had a human heart shoved in my mouth too.’ That gets their attention, ‘in a fight, close quarter fighting….er…it ripped the heart from the chest of an infected and pushed it straight into my mouth…it was still beating,’ I add flatly but still feel more worried the lads are going to be unable to not say anything stupid.

  ‘You swallowed it?’ Anne asks me promptly, ‘the blood from the heart, you swallowed it?’

  ‘Oh without doubt…and a thumb too I think…I definitely bit one off but I don’t recall spitting it out…oh and er…I bit into a neck too, or throat to be precise…er, ripped it out with my teeth and…’ my voice trails off as I realise what I must sound like. The psychopath invited into their safe home.

  ‘You appear as healthy as can be,’ Andrew steps back to stare at me with interest, ‘and no effects from the infection? None at all?’

  ‘Nothing, Lani turned…we all saw it but…she came back, but Cookey and I had no reaction. When Cookey was bit, er…Lani and I cut our hands,’ I show them the mark across my own palm from Dave’s knife, ‘and we er, we rubbed our blood into his wound…could that have helped?’

  ‘God…’ Andrew blanches, ‘er…’

  ‘Fast acting if it did,’ Anne says looking unsure, ‘this Cookey, he didn’t turn then come back or anything like that? Show any signs at all?’

  ‘None, same as me.’

  ‘And Lani and you, had you shared bodily fluids prior to her being bitten?’

  ‘One kiss,’ I say softly, ‘just one.’

  ‘A French kiss?’ She probes, ‘long and passionate with tongues? We’re all adults here, Mr Howie.’

  ‘Yes, yes it was.’

  ‘Transfer of saliva without a doubt,’ Lisa remarks, ‘his anti-bodies could have passed into hers and built up enough to fight the infection off, but Cookey didn’t go under…are you sure he was bit?’

  ‘We all saw it.’

  ‘We can’t do anything here,’ Andrew comments, ‘did you say Doctor Roberts had you collect equipment?’

  ‘Yes, from his hospital. He gave a specific list of things…’

  ‘We have to go,’ Lisa says firmly.

  ‘Agreed,’ Andrew nods.

  ‘Examine the rest here or at their fort?’ Anna asks.

  ‘Quick check here then a thorough exam at the fort,’ Heathcliff says giving me an impression that maybe he is in charge after all as the others all immediately accept his order. ‘I’m not a vet,’ he says standing up, ‘but been round dogs all my life and she looks fine, wounds are healing naturally, no signs of infection. Gums are clear, what’s her stools like?’

  ‘Stools? You mean her poo?’

  ‘Yes, firm are they or all runny?’

  ‘Er, firm…well, the lads give her treats all bloody day long so she does get a bit runny but mostly firm…I think, er, better check with Nick, he sort of…oh no, she’s Dave’s dog now…shit, I’ll find out.’

  ‘Get dressed, Mr Howie,’ Andrew says in a perfect tone of a doctor, ‘we’ll check your lot over in the front room, quick visual and then we’ll get ready, that okay with you?’

  ‘Anything you say,’ I nod quickly wishing I could run ahead and swear pain of death on Cookey and Blowers if they so much as look at each other.

  As it turns out, whatever Dave said to them worked. Cookey, Blowers, Nick and even Jagger and Mo Mo were all full of pleases and thank-you’s with not a swear word or gay joke uttered, or any jokes, about anything. The only delay is caused by Roy who gets a rather excited look in his eyes at having four doctors so close at hand and insists on a private consultation which does take a while.

  Examinations completed, we wait about while they gather the essentials of what they need and hand them over for packing in our vans. We get loaded up and with the day rapidly running out, start the journey back to find the Saxon and head home for the fort.

  Twenty-Four

  Day Fifteen.

  Afternoon.

  Leaving is such sweet sorrow. Who said that? You know, I really cannot recall right now. But leaving was not sweet sorrow at all, there was nothing sweet about it. It was gut wrenching and I am not ashamed to admit I not only had a lump in my throat but more than a few tears rolling down my face.

  It has been my home for
the last six months and my refuge from the single greatest threat to our species. I was a scientist, a researcher. Yes, I was renowned in my field for my understanding and extrapolation of data relating to the effect of global trends on the world population zones and it was that expertise that led me to be involved with the exercise at The Facility, but in no way did I ever imagine that what they proposed we research, was in fact a reality.

  But that history is in my notes that I have left behind in my den. I came to think of it as my den due to the somewhat snug and contained nature of the bowl like effect of the land around it. It laid in a depression, surrounded by thick woodland, but with enough open space to do as I needed. And now the time has come to move on, I realise just how attached I became.

  The man that left just a short time ago is not the man that arrived there those six months prior. I was still shocked and full of disbelief, denial, rage and then melancholy, deep melancholy that I suppose these days would be called clinical depression.

  Along with my history, I left my guide. All the notes and preparations I have made while I myself prepared for this time. What good it may do someone I know not, but should a passer-by happen upon them, they may save his or her life.

  The final preparations were made. The hens were left out of their boxes and free to roam. Their sacks of feed I split open with a knife and they will have enough to eat for a long time to come. My camera feeds I simply shut down, the generators were switched off. The remaining dry foods, goods and tinned foodstuffs were placed off the ground and safe.

  The M4 automatic rifle is with me, custom foldable stock, shortened barrel and a horrible weapon that I detest, like I detest all weapons. But, it is reliable, accurate and small enough to handle, and it cost me enough to obtain along with plenty of ammunition. Hopefully, I shall not need it but just having it gives me a greater degree of confidence.

  Brushes for Jess, water bottles, high calorie food, a first aid kit and that’s it, my intention is to travel light and forage as we go. Having Jess is a godsend. Just being with another being, and one as intelligent as her, has helped me enormously. She is quieter than a vehicle, far more reliable and doesn't run out of fuel, plus her four wheel drive capability is much better than most vehicles too.