Love Like Ours

by Sophie Love

  Maxine listened patiently. Then finally, it was her turn to speak. “That must have been really frightening,” she began. Keira got the distinct impression there was a ‘but’ coming. “But… don’t you think it’s kind of hot that he stood up for your honor like that?”

  “Hot?” Keira repeated, unimpressed.

  “I don’t mean to diminish the unpleasantness of your experience,” Maxine clarified. “But Keira, your drop dead stunning boyfriend just knocked out your awful, lying, cheating weasel of an ex because he called you a slut!”

  “Max,” Keira said, sighing. “Maybe it’s hot on TV but in real life it’s not. It’s frightening.”

  “I get it,” Maxine implored. “I just mean that Cristiano clearly cares about you really deeply to act that way.”

  “You think? I think he just cares about his pride. His ego.”

  “Oh come on, you know him better than that,” Maxine said. “Don’t let this one mistake tarnish everything.”

  Keira did take Maxine’s opinion on board, but nothing could stop her feeling the horrible pit of dread that had opened up inside of her. One of the things she loved so much about Cristiano was the fact that he was always so calm, that he was often the antidote to her stressing out about everything. To know he had this one extremely volatile button put her on edge.

  “Where are you now?” Maxine asked.

  “I’m in the middle of a gorgeous garden in Paris,” Keira replied. “It’s not raining for the first time since I’ve been here. My face is completely puffy from crying and I have Zach’s blood on my skirt.” She groaned loudly. “Ugh, why did that have to happen? Why couldn’t Zach have just gone home after his stupid conference!”

  Maxine was silent for a second. Then she spoke. “What conference?”

  “The one he had for work,” Keira replied. “I knew there would be a bit of crossover but I figured he’d just be in some conference hall all day, and I definitely thought he’d been gone by now. I never expected to actually bump into him!”

  “Keira,” Maxine said, in a slow, deliberate voice. “Zach was made redundant. Like two weeks ago.”

  “Oh. My. God.” Keira replied. “You think he made up the whole France thing to impress me?”

  “Or to deliberately bump into you?”

  “No, no, no, no, no,” Keira gasped.

  The thought was disturbing. Had Zach been keeping an eye on her whereabouts? She knew that he’d read her article because he’d inadvertently admitted as much when identifying Cristiano but reading her work and following her to another country were two very different things. Plus, it wasn’t like she’d known in advance that she’d be in Paris, and Zach had mentioned coming to France way before she even knew about the assignment. How could he have found out she was going to be here?

  “You don’t think he would have…” She stopped speaking, too shocked to even say it aloud. “…hacked Viatorum somehow?”

  The only people who’d known about the Paris trip had been Elliot, Nina and Heather. They’d probably been emailing each other about it, organizing the trip and discussing sending Cristiano along too. Zach’s job was in computing. Hacking emails wasn’t difficult for him.

  Keira felt sick at the thought.

  “I really hope not,” Maxine replied. “But, well, he has been acting kind crazy since you two broke up.”

  Keira couldn’t believe it. She shook her head, feeling nauseous. But it was the only explanation.

  Suddenly, she remembered what the officer had said about it being up to Zach to press charges.

  “Max, I have to go,” she said.

  “Okay, stay safe. Call me whenever.”

  Keira ended the call quickly and dialled Zach. She’d deleted him from her phone but still knew his number off by heart. When he answered, she heard the hubbub of the hospital in the background.

  “Keira,” he said, meekily. “Thanks for calling.”

  His voice was stuffy from his broken nose.

  “I know what you did,” Keira told him.

  “What?”

  “You came here deliberately because you knew I’d be here.”

  “Don’t be crazy,” he replied. “I told you, I was at a work conference.”

  “Work conference for a job you no longer have?” Keira shot back.

  There was a long pause. “Okay, fine. But I only lost my job after I’d booked the flights, and what was I supposed to do? Waste a vacation? I didn’t come here to see you, I can do that in New York whenever I want. And I only lied about it being for work because I was embarrassed to admit I’d lost my job to you.”

  “You’re lying now,” Keira replied. “You found out I was going to be here and came to mess things up! Admit it! Whose emails did you hack? Elliot’s? Nina’s? Just tell me the truth.”

  “Keira, you sound crazy.”

  She should have known he’d deny it all. Zach had the unpleasant ability to lie without remorse. She had to take a deep breath to steady her rage.

  “Don’t press charges,” she told him. “Against Cristiano. If you do, I will find a way to expose what you did. We’re even now. Drop this and I’ll let it slide.”

  There was a long pause of silence. Finally, Zach spoke, “You’re a bitch.”

  The call went dead. Keira slumped forward, exhausted. It felt like her whole world had suddenly flipped upside down. She managed to stand but her legs were wobbly beneath her.

  She walked through the gardens. They no longer looked beautiful to her, but fake, over designed and constricted. Out on the street, the architecture of Paris looked suddenly stuffy and overbearing. How had she not noticed all the litter in the streets before? The ugly graffiti scrawled across ancient buildings with no care for the history it was defacing? How had her eyes glazed over the homeless men and street drinkers? And all that traffic spewing fumes into the air! Paris was a city like all cities, besieged by poverty, pollution and corruption.

  Keira had no idea what to do. She desperately wanted to see Cristiano again, to set the record straight. The drama over the last two days had been crazy. Between Shane and Zach, she could understand why he’d be so confused and angry. She just wanted a chance to explain.

  Knowing that Cristiano wouldn’t answer her calls, she bit the bullet and called Pippa. His sister answered with a bright and breezy voice.

  “Ciao Bella! How are you?”

  “Pippa, I’m really sorry to do this to you,” Keira said. “But can you call Cristiano? We had a fight and he’s gone. He won’t answer my calls. I just really want to see him.”

  “Oh,” Pippa said, sounding sad. “But if he has walked off, perhaps you should give him some space? I’m sure he’ll come around.”

  “I’m worried that this time he won’t,” Keira told her. “We’ve had two fights in a row now, both because of my exes. I just need to explain.”

  “He won’t appreciate it, you know?” Pippa said. “Me getting in the middle of it. Helping you. It will make him even angrier.”

  “I understand,” Keira said. “I just need a chance.”

  There was a pause, then finally, Pippa relented. “Okay. Give me a minute. I’ll call him.”

  The call ended and Keira sat, wearily, on one of the benches. After a few minutes, she felt her cell phone buzz with an incoming text message.

  He’s heading to Gare du Nord.

  Seeing it in black and white made Keira’s heart sink. Gare du Nord was the international train station in Paris. There was only one reason why Cristiano would be going there; to catch a train home to Italy.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  It was only a ten minute metro ride to get to the Gare du Nord, but every minute felt like an hour to Keira. How much of a head start had Cristiano had? She’d been waiting at least ten minutes for the ambulance, another ten speaking to the police, then a further fifteen on the phone to Maxine and Pippa. By the time she made it to the station, he could very well be long gone.

  She reached her final destination and hurri
ed off the train carriage, then rushed up the steps towards the turnstiles at the top. Once she was through them, she found herself in the main concourse of a very busy station. She had no idea how she was going to find Cristiano here. Whether he was even still here to find.

  Keira had an idea then and grabbed her cellphone and called Cristiano again, hoping she might hear his ringtone and be able to locate him. Of course it was useless. The station was far too noisy to pick out one specific sound.

  She went over to the display boards and searched for a train heading towards Florence. She found one departing in five minutes from platform one and hurried in that direction, with no way of knowing whether Cristiano would even be on that train.

  When she reached the barriers she realized, with a heavy heart, that even if it was Cristiano’s train, he’d already be on board. Without a ticket, there was no way through.

  She went up to the guard.

  “Please, I need to find someone,” she told him. “Can you just let me through? I’ll be five minutes, I promise.”

  He gave her a disgusted look, like her request was so obviously not going to happen, it wasn’t even worth responding to.

  “Please?” she tried again, and this time her throat thickened with emotion. Tears began to fall from her eyes.

  But her desperate pleas were ignored by the guard. He clearly wasn’t going to help her.

  With her vision blurred, Keira scrolled through her cellphone contacts until she reached Pippa’s number again. She hit the dial button.

  “Has he left yet?” Keira asked Pippa the moment she answered the call. She could hear the desperation in her own voice; pleading and somewhat pathetic. “Is he on the train yet?”

  “Keira…” Pippa began, her voice strained.

  She was obviously starting to feel very put out by the whole thing, by Keira putting her in the middle of a tricky situation. Keira felt bad for dragging her into it but she couldn’t think of any other options.

  “I’ll check,” Pippa said finally, letting out a heavy sigh.

  “Thank you,” Keira squeaked in response.

  She hung up and waited on tenterhooks, feeling her heart pounding in her chest with mounting anticipation. Then, a few moments later, Pippa’s text came.

  Just as Keira tapped her screen to open the text, a large shadow fell onto her hands, obscuring the buttons. She looked up at the large, solid body of a man, then up again and into the face of Cristiano.

  “What are you doing here?” he said, his expression drawn like she was a ghost in front of him.

  She saw the coffee cup in his hand, corresponding with the word coffee in Pippa’s message on her screen. Thank God for his caffeine addiction; because he’d gone to get a coffee for the journey, she’d been given the chance to bump into him, to convince him not to go home and leave her.

  “I’m stopping you,” Keira said. “From leaving.”

  In his other hand, Cristiano was clutching a train ticket. Direct to Florence. It caused a stab of pain in her heart. The pain grew only worse when she saw his bright red knuckles.

  “You can’t stop me,” Cristiano said sadly. “I have to go.”

  “Why?” she asked. “Because of Zach? Shane? I know it looks bad but it’s not been my fault. It’s been two horrible coincidences.”

  Cristiano shook his head. “Coincidences or not, I cannot handle it. The jealousy in me.” He looked guiltily at his bruised knuckles.

  “You don’t need to worry about that,” Keira told him. “Zach won’t press charges.”

  “That isn’t the point,” Cristiano said. “I need to get some space from this.”

  “From me?”

  He nodded sadly.

  “Will you come back?” she asked. “In a couple of days? Have a bit of time with your family, get a bit of space to clear your head. Then come back?”

  “I can’t promise that,” Cristiano said, his voice dripping with pain.

  Keira stared at him, incredulous. Why was he doing this to her? Leaving her in a foreign country over something as stupid as jealousy. It wasn’t her fault she had a messy past, and it wasn’t like Cristiano’s slate was entirely clean either. He was the one with an ex wife. He was holding her up to unfair standards then punishing her for not meeting them.

  “If you get on that train,” she began, hearing her voice come from her mouth without her brain even connecting. “Then it’s over.”

  She took a deep breath, stunned she’d said those words aloud, that she’d given Cristiano an ultimatum. It was a foolish thing to do.

  He looked at her, frowning. “You don’t mean that, do you?” he asked.

  “Yes,” Keira said stubbornly. “I’m not here to be picked up and put down when you choose. I’m not going to lie around in bed eating candy again waiting for you to decide I deserve a bit more respect. Get on that train and it’s over, I swear.”

  Cristiano made a tsking noise with his mouth, and shook his head sadly. Then, without another word, he turned towards the barriers and fed his ticket into the machine. Its gates opened and he walked through. The gates snapped back into place behind him with a loud bang.

  Keira watched, stunned, shocked into paralysis. She’d just threatened him, gambled with their relationship and she’d lost. Cristiano was gone.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Keira lost track of how long she stood in the train station, looking at the place where Cristiano had once been but was no longer. She felt like a failure, not to mention extremely embarrassed.

  But finally she gathered herself and left, her head and heart heavy.

  She was far from the hotel and, feeling close to tears, didn’t really want to get on the metro, cooped up with all those people looking at her. Instead she wanted to curl up in the dark corner of a cafe and weep into her coffee mug.

  She strolled down the street, passing the same American chain coffee stores she was accustomed to back home. How peculiar she’d never even noticed that Paris had them as well?

  At last, she found a proper French cafe and went inside.

  It was very busy, the windows steamed up with condensation from all the customers inside, and the background noise of people talking was almost deafening. It was perfect, Keira thought. Sometimes it was easiest to become anonymous in a crowd.

  She ordered a coffee and waited for a seat to become available. Luckily, the one that did was right in the corner, almost completely in shadow. It was perfect for her.

  The second Keira’s backside found the seat, she began to weep. Cristiano was gone. And she’d made sure it was for good.

  Why was she always doing this to herself? Sabotaging her happiness? It was as if she couldn’t fully accept that she deserved good things in her life. After years of struggle to get where she was, had struggling become too ingrained in her personality? Had she lost the ability to relax, to let things be, to allow herself the experience of joy?

  Keira fetched her notebook from her purse and placed it on the table in front of her. The drama Nina had requested was right at her fingertips. All she had to do was transfer her sadness to paper. Perhaps getting it all down in writing would help her make sense of it.

  It has taken me ten days to see the dark side of Paris. Considering the buildings, roads and sky are all the same color gray, you’d think I’d have seen it earlier, but it is only today, after a particularly dramatic argument with Cristiano, that I’ve truly become aware of it. Paris has all the same pitfalls as any other city; litter, graffiti, road rage, pickpockets, and rudeness. And that unrelenting rain! Will it ever cease? It’s become so monotonous, so continuous, that I’m starting to think I’d prefer the freezing New York City snow, if only for some variety.

  A tear drop splashed onto her page, obscuring the ink of her writing. Keira stopped and put her pen down. She had no desire to write any of this into her article. Nina had said she could use fiction to make the story more interesting, but her reality was more dramatic than anything she’d have been able to imagine. A
nd writing about it was the last thing she wanted to do. She was skirting around the issue. She didn’t just fight with Cristiano, they’d broken up. She didn’t want her dream to be over but it was.

  The tears began to fall more quickly then. She searched for her cellphone and, remembering Bryn was still in a bad mood with her, decided to call her mom. Mallory was better at dealing with her when she was upset than Bryn anyway.

  Her mom answered quickly, as she always did when one of her daughter’s called.

  “Hello darling. How are you?”

  Keira sobbed. “Mom. It’s all gone wrong.”

  Mallory spoke soothingly. “A little hiccup?”

  “No. A big one. Cristiano’s gone home.”

  “Oh,” Mallory replied. “To Italy?”

  “Yes,” Keira squeaked, sniffing loudly. “We had a huge fight.”

  “What about, darling? I’m sure it can be resolved.”

  Her tone was so soothing, Keira instantly felt more able to speak.

  “It all started with Shane,” she began. “His father passed away.”

  “No, I’m so sorry!” Mallory cried.

  “I know. We spoke on the phone, that’s all, but Cristiano overheard and lost his temper.”

  “Well that doesn’t sound too bad, love. I’m sure he’ll come around. Men can get ever so jealous.”

  Keira shook her head. “That’s only the beginning. We made up after that and things were sort of getting back to normal. Then Zach turned up.”

  “In Paris?” Mallory cried. “What was he doing there?”

  “Stalking me, pretty much,” Keira replied. “He basically engineered the whole situation to bump into me. Then Cristiano punched him.”

  Mallory gasped.

  “I know,” Keira continued. “Knocked him out cold. Then he stormed off and left me to deal with the ambulance and police on my own.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” Mallory whispered. “Is Zach okay?”