Back In Her Husband's Bed (Bedded By Blackmail)

by MELANIE MILBURNE

  And then there was the matter of her feelings towards him.

  She still loved him.

  Couldn’t in fact remember a time when she hadn’t, even in the last five bitter years apart. Every time she’d thought of him her heart had squeezed with the pain of longing and regret. How much easier all this would be if he too felt the same!

  She forced herself to meet his watchful gaze across the table, her hands tightening into a knot beneath the screen of the table. ‘It seems I have no choice in this,’ she muttered darkly.

  ‘I wouldn’t say that,’ he returned, leaning back casually in his chair. ‘I’m giving you the choice of living with me and having the best of health care and support for the rest of your pregnancy, or watching your friend go through a very nasty divorce.’

  ‘You’d really do it, wouldn’t you?’ She glared at him. ‘You’d do it just to get what you want. You hate me that much.’

  He held her glare for much longer than she was comfortable with, his dark blue eyes totally inscrutable. ‘Don’t you think it’s high time we put our issues aside and concentrated on the baby?’ he asked. ‘We have a lot to discuss, such as names and future schooling and so on. Personally I’d prefer to keep away from the bad things in our past; revisiting them time and time again can’t change anything now.’

  She dipped her spoon into her chocolate mousse with an inward sigh. He was right yet again—nothing could be changed; what they’d had previously was well and truly over. Their past had been built on love and even that had crumbled. What would their future, now built on hate and bitterness, bring forth?

  In spite of her misgivings, Carli drove straight to Xavier’s house in Mosman after work the next day. The traffic was slow all the way, but close to the Pacific Highway junction a minor accident had caused further mayhem.

  She sat tapping her fingers on the steering wheel as the traffic lights changed four times without a single vehicle moving through the intersection. The traffic fumes made her head ache and the nausea which had been grumbling on and off all day returned with a vengeance in the close atmosphere of the car. She thought longingly of Xavier’s efficient air-conditioning and fanned her face with a draft copy of a client’s will, vowing she’d get her system re-gassed the next day as she’d been meaning to do for weeks.

  Finally the slow crawl through the intersection began and within another thirty minutes she pulled into the driveway of her previous marital home, a host of memories assailing her as she did so.

  Xavier’s top-of-the-range BMW was in the open three-car garage, which she knew without looking down at her watch meant she was incredibly late. She couldn’t remember a time when she’d been home after him in the whole time they’d been married and wondered if he would be annoyed with her as she had been with him in the past. She couldn’t help a tiny inward cringe at how she’d behaved way back then. She had been so insistent on being treated equally she’d overlooked some of the realities of newly married life, that like any other relationship sometimes adjustments had to be made. She hadn’t wanted to give an inch, terrified she would end up downtrodden and desperate like her mother, her life ceasing to function without a man to prop her up. How many times had this front door been slammed in fury as she’d stormed out on one of their heated exchanges?

  It felt strange to approach it now without a key in her hand. She pressed the bell and waited for him to answer, the nerves in her stomach doing a fluttery sort of dance as she heard the firm tread of his footsteps approaching.

  ‘Traffic bad?’ he greeted her with an empathetic look, taking in her flustered appearance.

  She nodded and stepped into the house as he held the door open. ‘You wouldn’t believe how dreadful it was.’

  ‘I’d believe it.’ He shut the door and took her briefcase. ‘I just ploughed through it myself.’

  She brushed the heavy hair off her neck and grimaced as another stab of pain hit her between the eyes.

  ‘Is something wrong?’ he asked, looking at her intently.

  ‘Just a headache,’ she said, dropping her handbag at her feet and rolling her shoulders for a moment. ‘It’s nothing to worry about.’

  ‘Can I get you something?’

  She shook her head then wished she hadn’t as a fresh wave of pain squeezed at her temples. ‘No, I think I’ll have a shower and go straight to bed.’

  ‘You look pale. You’re not going to pass out on me, are you?’ He took her wrist in one of his hands, his long fingers curling around her slender bones, his thumb on her already leaping pulse.

  ‘No…’ She pulled out of his loose hold to maintain her distance.

  ‘Carli…’ He cleared his throat and began again. ‘I was thinking we could visit my parents tomorrow evening.’

  ‘Why,’ she asked, ‘so you can show them my bump and tell them there’s no escaping the fact that you are responsible? Mind you, I’m surprised you haven’t insisted on a paternity test to make absolutely sure.’ She gave him a cynical look. ‘I’m sure your parents are going to insist on one.’

  ‘I did consider it actually,’ he confessed after a tiny pause.

  She stared at him, her heart squeezing painfully, her throat suddenly dry. ‘You…you don’t believe me?’

  He gave her an ironic smile. ‘If it truly wasn’t mine you would never have come within two stares of me. You hate me too much, remember?’

  She shifted her gaze a fraction. ‘If you want to have one done I won’t stop you.’

  ‘It’s really not necessary, Carli.’

  She didn’t want to feel grateful for his show of trust, knowing it would make her even more vulnerable, but it moved her deeply that he believed her. So many men wouldn’t.

  ‘Thank you,’ she mumbled.

  ‘Gracious as usual,’ he observed with a wry twist to his mouth.

  She met his satirical look with a flash of resentment in her caramel-brown eyes. ‘If I sound a little ungrateful you have only yourself to blame. You’re the one who accused me of doing it deliberately.’

  ‘I’ve already apologised for that,’ he said. ‘You can’t keep dragging it out to flay me with.’

  ‘How very convenient for you,’ she sniped. ‘You insult me and make some paltry attempt to apologise, not even going so far as to use those two little words: I’m sorry.’

  ‘All right,’ his voice rose in anger, ‘I’m sorry. There—will that do?’

  ‘You don’t mean it.’ She folded her arms crossly.

  ‘Oh, for pity’s sake, Carli, what the hell do you want me to do?’ He was almost shouting now. ‘Wasn’t I allowed to be upset by your news? You came to my office and delivered your blunt statement with absolutely no lead up to it. Is it any wonder I spoke a little irrationally at the time?’

  She knew he was right; she hadn’t given him any warning and it had been a dreadful shock. She was still reeling from it herself; God knew how he was feeling.

  ‘I’m sorry…’ She bit her lip, fighting back the sting of tears.

  He stepped towards her again, running his hand down the length of her bare arm in a caressing stroke that brought her glistening gaze back up to his.

  ‘I’m sorry for shouting,’ he said. ‘I know it doesn’t help things between us but sometimes I just wish you’d listen to my side.’

  She stepped away before she was tempted to throw herself into his arms, and, picking up her handbag, turned for the stairs.

  ‘I want you to come with me tomorrow evening, Carli,’ he said. ‘I want my parents to know we are living together.’

  ‘So tell them.’ She pivoted on the first step to look back at him. ‘I don’t need to be there for you to do so.’

  ‘Are you afraid of my family?’ he asked, watching her steadily.

  ‘No, of course not. I just don’t see the point in laying myself open for criticism.’

  ‘They won’t criticise you. I can absolutely guarantee that.’

  ‘No?’ She gave a harsh laugh. ‘Not while you’re around m
aybe. I was well aware of the imperious looks as soon as you introduced me as your future wife. No doubt their painfully polite restraints were lifted as soon as we parted. Bully for you to have such a faithful crowd of supporters, I’m sure it helped you get over me.’

  Xavier’s forehead creased in a frown at her words. It hadn’t been the first time he’d heard them, of course. In the past she insisted his family had shut her out and made fun of her behind her back, but he hadn’t wanted to believe it back then. It still shamed him to think it had taken a further three years after their divorce for him to see his parents for what they were.

  He looked across at the pinched features of his ex-wife and inwardly sighed. Her eyes were hollow with tiredness and her small frame looked even more fragile than the day she’d come to his office to tell him about the pregnancy. As much as he’d have liked to tell her he had come around to see her point of view at last, he didn’t think it would change anything between them. It was clear she had nothing but disdain for him. He could see it in her eyes. Her gaze kept skittering away from his as if she couldn’t bear to look at him.

  He could hardly blame her.

  ‘Your things arrived earlier and I had my housekeeper unpack everything into one of the spare rooms,’ he informed her in a voice that showed nothing of his inner disquiet.

  ‘Thank you,’ she said and began to climb the stairs. ‘But I could have done it myself.’

  ‘Carli?’

  She stopped and looked at him over her shoulder, her eyes not quite making the distance to his. ‘Yes?’

  ‘I know how hard this is for you, moving in with me and so on.’

  ‘You don’t say.’

  He ignored her attempt at sarcasm and continued, ‘Don’t worry about my family. I won’t let them come between us.’

  Carli resumed her passage up the stairs without responding.

  While his family had their issues with her, they weren’t the only obstacle in the way of her relationship with Xavier.

  He didn’t love her.

  That was the biggest obstacle of all.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  ELEANOR and Bryce Knightly were excruciatingly polite to Carli when Xavier led her inside the Knightly family mansion at Vaucluse the following evening.

  ‘Carla, my dear.’ Eleanor air-kissed her cheek and pushed her husband forward. ‘Isn’t she looking marvellous, Bryce?’

  ‘Indeed she is.’ Bryce kissed her briefly and stood back. ‘Your weight gain suits you.’

  ‘Carli is pregnant,’ Xavier announced without preamble.

  That both his parents were shocked was clearly obvious, although to her credit Eleanor recovered herself quickly.

  ‘But…but that’s…wonderful news! I didn’t know you’d married again. What is your new husband’s name?’

  ‘I don’t have a husband,’ Carli announced bluntly.

  Eleanor Knightly put a fluttering hand up to her throat. ‘Oh…I see.’

  ‘The baby is mine,’ Xavier said.

  His mother looked at him in shock. ‘Are you sure?’

  Carli saw his jaw tighten as he answered, ‘Absolutely.’

  ‘Have you had a paternity test done,’ Eleanor asked, ‘just to remove all doubt?’

  Carli resisted sending Xavier an I-told-you-so look even though she dearly longed to. She kept her eyes trained on his parents standing awkwardly before them, very conscious of Xavier’s rigid form beside her.

  ‘I am the baby’s father, there is no doubt of that,’ he stated implacably.

  ‘When are you getting married again?’ his father asked.

  ‘We’re not planning on remarrying,’ Xavier said.

  His mother’s elegantly made-up face visibly blanched. ‘Not getting remarried? But of course you must get remarried! What will everyone think?’

  ‘I don’t give a damn what people think,’ he said. ‘This is between Carli and me, no one else.’

  ‘But surely with a child on the way…’ Eleanor’s voice faded at the intractable look in her son’s eye.

  ‘What would you like to drink?’ Bryce did his best to lighten the tense atmosphere but Carli was already wishing the evening was over.

  She couldn’t believe the hypocrisy of Xavier’s parents. She’d felt the sting of their disapproval from the very first time he’d introduced her, although they’d carefully hidden it behind a barrier of cool politeness whenever their son was around. It had caused many an argument between Xavier and her in the past. He had accused her of being paranoid while she had argued he was insensitive and blindsided to the dynamics of his family.

  His three younger sisters had been no better. She could still recall the snickering on one occasion when she’d turned up straight from university to what she had assumed was to be a family dinner. No one had told her it was a formal affair with several important guests from the Knightly legal firm who, along with Xavier’s sisters, took in her torn jeans and tight-fitting T-shirt with noses wrinkling in collective distaste. Her pride had insisted she stay on regardless, but by the time Xavier had arrived her nerves were shredded to the point where she could barely speak. He’d sent her one or two questioning glances during the evening but it wasn’t until they finally returned to his house that she let fly with all her pent-up feelings.

  It had been a nasty scene…

  Xavier had slammed the door behind him as they entered the house, the sound of it echoing right throughout the house.

  ‘What the hell is the matter with you?’ he bellowed as she stalked towards the stairs. ‘Do you realise how embarrassing that was for me this evening? For God’s sake, Carli, I have to work with those people, you know.’

  ‘You were embarrassed?’ She spun around in outrage. ‘How do you think I felt with your sneering, snobby sisters making me feel like a bit of trailer trash all evening?’

  ‘Well, if you choose to turn up at my parents’ house dressed like that, what else do you expect?’ he countered, running his eyes over her too-tight T-shirt.

  She stared at him in fury. ‘No one told me it was a formal affair.’ She bit out each word individually.

  ‘My mother told me she’d called you.’

  ‘Your mother lied,’ she said, her hands going to her hips in an aggressive pose. ‘Now, who are you going to believe, your mother or your wife?’

  He gave her a contemptuous look and ground out, ‘You act more like a spoilt brat than a wife so that decision is going to be way too easy.’ He tossed his coat to one side and continued before she could speak, ‘I know what you were up to tonight, Carli. You wanted to embarrass my father and me and our colleagues so you could drive home another one of your feminist points, but in doing so you just shot yourself in the foot.’

  ‘I did not—’

  ‘No one is going to take you seriously until you grow up a bit,’ he interrupted her denial. ‘I thought I married a young, intelligent woman and instead I keep coming home to a petulant child who can’t even control her own temper.’

  Carli hadn’t really realised just how angry she was until the first vase hit the wall next to Xavier’s head, shattering into a thousand pieces.

  The silence was so thick she could almost reach out and touch it. It seemed to move across the space that divided them, great invisible swirls of it coming up to her to steal her breath out of her lungs as she saw the flashing ire in Xavier’s midnight-blue gaze as it locked on to hers.

  She knew she’d gone way too far but somehow, as if it had a mind of its own, her hand reached for the other vase.

  ‘I wouldn’t if I were you,’ he cautioned, his tone like cold, hard steel. ‘You might not like the consequences.’

  She told him exactly what she thought of his stupid consequences and threw it anyway, watching with a perverse sort of satisfaction as he flinched out of the way of the priceless missile as it sailed past his right ear.

  He stepped over the smashed porcelain on the floor without a word, moving towards her with steady but controlled purpose…
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  ‘Champagne, Carla?’ Bryce’s forced cheerfulness brought her back to the present with a jarring jolt.

  She stared at him blankly for what seemed endless seconds before Xavier answered for her. ‘No alcohol for Carli.’

  ‘A little bit won’t hurt, surely,’ Eleanor said.

  Carli saw the look Xavier cast his mother’s way and inwardly grimaced. Things were not very harmonious in the Knightly family and it begged the question why.

  Eleanor did her best to maintain her poise but it was impossible not to see the strain etched around her carefully lipstick-painted mouth.

  ‘Did Xavier tell you Phoebe, Imogen and Harriet are all studying for degrees?’ Bruce said in an attempt to fill the awkward silence.

  Carli’s gaze flicked briefly to Xavier’s before returning to his father’s. ‘No…he didn’t happen to mention it.’ She was beginning to think there was a whole lot he hadn’t told her about his family dynamics, both past and present.

  ‘I’ve never understood why they feel the need to complicate their lives with university lectures and assignments,’ Eleanor said. ‘God knows it’s already put Harriet’s marriage under intolerable strain. Neil has threatened to leave numerous times but she just won’t listen.’

  ‘Why wouldn’t he want his wife to reach her full potential?’ Carli put in before she could stop herself.

  Eleanor’s mouth opened and closed as if she wasn’t quite sure how to answer.

  ‘So,’ Bryce took a restorative sip of his brandy and swiftly changed the subject, ‘what have you been doing with yourself, Carla? Working for some big law firm by now, I expect.’