One Stubborn Cowboy

by Barbara McMahon

  “And are you?” Kelly held her breath, her heartbeat heavy against her chest.

  “No, dammit, haven’t you been listening to anything I’ve said?” He lifted his hat from his head and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, slamming the hat back on hard. “You’re as bad as Sally.”

  But at least she didn’t suspect the real reason for his pretense.

  “No, I’m not. I just want to understand where we stand with this make-believe romance you want. I thought I was to pretend to be your girlfriend. Half the time I don’t know if I’m supposed to be in love with you or just a casual friend. If you truly don’t want her, then I’ll do all I can to show everybody you are over her. But if you think the two of you can get back together, let’s stop this charade now, before it goes any further.”

  Before I have a chance to fall in love with you and get hurt.

  Chapter 7

  “I want Althea to be convinced once and for all that it’s all over between us. I don’t want her hanging around me, acting solicitous, patronizing me. Dammit, I won’t have her calling Sally every day to check up on me. I need Sally to believe we are involved so she can make it very clear to Allie. It isn’t something we just turn on and off whenever Althea is around. We need to play it for all it’s worth around everyone.”

  “Okay, so we pretend for a while longer, and around everybody. How long is Althea going to be here?”

  “I don’t know. She said something about it depending on things. Maybe if she sees I’m not interested, she’ll leave that much sooner.”

  “Maybe.” Kelly thought it might take a lot to convince Althea, if she’d really set her sights on Kit.

  “I appreciate your help, Kelly. I won’t repay you by taking advantage of you again.” His voice was low and the words sounded rehearsed.

  Kelly’s amused face tried to see him, but it was just too dark. She thought he was staring straight ahead and she knew him well enough to imagine his expression.

  “You mean no sex? No more kisses, caresses…”

  “That’s exactly what I mean.”

  He only hoped he could do it. Even now when he was promising to stay away from her his hand itched to hold her, his mouth wanted to plunder her softness, taste her sweetness, feel the silky texture of her skin, learn all the hot secrets she alone held. He tightened his fists on the wheel.

  “You’re sure stupid sometimes, Kit,” she said, amusement lacing her voice.

  His head snapped around as he tried to see her in the darkness. His eyes narrowed, but he couldn’t make her out in the stygian night.

  “I have it on excellent authority that no woman would want me. That from a woman who once professed to love me.”

  “Nonsense. If she loved you nothing on earth would have kept her away from you, no matter what happened. If you’d lost both legs and both arms and she loved you she would have been there for you. And you’re a damn fool if you believe otherwise. Maybe that bull addled your brains, as well. Did the doctors check that?”

  He slapped the steering wheel. “. Are there any more insults you want to hurl at me? I’ve never met anyone as insulting as you in my entire life! The first words out of your mouth were an insult and you haven’t slowed down since.”

  She laughed softly, reaching out to trail her fingers lightly down his arm, feeling the leashed energy, the tightly coiled muscles.

  “Just because you’re stubborn and hardheaded and act like an idiot and a fool sometimes, are people supposed to tiptoe around that and keep quiet?” she asked teasingly.

  He sighed and leaned back in the seat, quiet for a long time. “Everyone else has since the accident.” His reply was low, bitter.

  “They’re coddling you, Kit. And you don’t need it. I think it’s become a habit now,” she replied seriously.

  “God help the man who tries to court you. You’ve a hard tongue in you.”

  She laughed again, squeezing his arm gently. “I hope he comes along soon. I’m not getting any younger.”

  “He’d need to be strong to take you on.”

  “Yes, strong and handsome and full of life. Appreciating me and what I do as I’ll appreciate him and what he does.”

  He started the truck and flicked on the headlights. She could see him now, in the illumination from the dashboard. His expression was closed, impassive, his jaw hard.

  “What else are you looking for?” He pulled away from the side of the road and headed toward town.

  “I don’t know. I don’t have an ideal man in mind, just some characteristics.” She didn’t mention her desire for a large family, and most of all a feeling of belonging.

  “He’d need to walk,” Kit said bitterly.

  She paused, struck again by his stupidity. Were all men so blind? Her heart pounding, she said gently, “Actually, it isn’t one of the requirements. I don’t care if he walks, hears, or sees, as long as he loves me to distraction and I love him.”

  He didn’t respond. The ride was silent. Kelly thought of all the things he’d said. Why had he explained it to her? Was he looking for something more? Yet with the same breath he was talking about staying away from her. She didn’t understand what he wanted. Part of her was afraid to ask him. Kit claimed he only wanted her to pretend they were involved, but when he took her in his arms it didn’t fed like pretend. Surely he felt something for her, didn’t he?

  Maybe if they kept up the game long enough even this hardheaded cowboy would admit he wanted her.

  Before too long they could see lights in the distance. They were almost at Kelly’s place.

  “You’re driving very sedately, for you,” she said, hoping to tease him into a better mood. She hadn’t meant to insult him into a bad temper, just shake him up a bit.

  “You’re enough danger. I don’t need to risk my neck with you in the truck by driving fast.”

  “Is that why you drive fast, to risk your neck?”

  “No.” He was quiet for a few seconds, then shook his head. “It’s hard to explain. I was used to doing things, exciting things, riding in the rodeo, living in the fast lane, living on the edge. Now I have nothing. I can’t do any of that. I’m confined to a snail’s pace. Driving is the only thing where I still have some control. The only thing where I can capture some of the essence of what I had before, speed. It’s as close as I get to excitement anymore.”

  “Don’t you ride horses?”

  “Now you’re the one who’s stupid. What do you think?”

  She stared at him a moment, then nodded. “You’re right, I’m sorry I insulted you. It’s not a nice feeling when someone calls you stupid. Especially when I know I’m not. Though I still think you are sometimes.” She couldn’t resist. “But I don’t understand about riding. I thought stock horses were superbly trained. I’ve seen pictures and documentaries of handicapped kids riding. Why don’t you? You even have some use of your legs.”

  “Not enough to ride.”

  “Tie yourself into the saddle.”

  “Sure, and if the horse stumbles and rolls, get crushed?”

  “There’s that element of danger you’re looking for. Have you ever tried?”

  “No. Next time I’ll let Beth and Mike bring you home.” He turned in to her driveway.

  “Thank you again for Sam. I’ll come out to the ranch on Sunday to see him, if I can.”

  “Yeah. Did you understand what I was leading up to when talking about Althea?”

  “You want her to know you are no longer interested.”

  “Right. But we can’t pretend just when she’s around.”

  “Yet you also said no kisses.”

  He was silent for a moment. “We need to show a certain amount of affection in public. Purely for show.”

  “So if Molly Benson is watching from her window now, we should act as if we were interested in each other so she can spread gossip and Althea will hear about it, right?” Kelly asked softly, sliding closer to him on the seat.

  “Don’t push me, Kell
y.”

  “Now how can we convince anyone you’re taken if we don’t exchange at least a few chaste kisses?”

  “Honey, your kisses are anything but chaste.” He slid his hand beneath the heavy hair on her neck and rubbed her skin gently, slowly pulling her closer, unable to resist the pull of attraction that flared any time she was near him.

  Little nibbles at the corner of her mouth raised desires she hadn’t known before, causing her mouth to ache with physical longing for his. She turned, trying to capture his lips with hers, but he evaded them, placing feather-light kisses on her cheeks, nibbling again at her jaw, her earlobe.

  “Darn it, Kit, you’re driving me crazy.” Her voice was low, urgent, her hands clutching at him.

  “I could eat you up!”

  She clasped her hands on either side of his head and held him still, fastening her mouth against his in desperate need.

  He assuaged the aching need of her mouth but built a stronger hunger elsewhere. His lips moved against hers, parting them to permit his tongue access to the sweet recesses of her hot mouth. He opened his wide, demanding the same from her, giving her long, drugging kisses, intensifying her emotions, building her hunger.

  She ached for closeness, but the confines of the truck and the steering wheel made it impossible. Her hands ran over his cheeks, slightly rough now with a day’s growth of beard. They kneaded his shoulders, his muscular arms, sought the buttons of his shirt.

  He pulled back and kissed her lightly on her warm lips, gathering her hands in his, stopping their seeking. Another minute of this and he’d lose all control.

  “No more, honey. That will have to satisfy Molly.”

  Kelly felt as if he’d slapped her. Had he only done it to fool Molly? Had it only been for show, to reinforce the charade for Althea? She felt sick. Wrenching open the door, she stumbled from the truck, slamming the door behind her. Walking swiftly around the front, passing in the glaring headlights, she averted her face from his view.

  She stormed up her walkway and into her house, head held high. Slamming her own door in frustration, she almost screamed. But it was her own fault. She’d agreed to the pretense. She’d even brought up Molly at the window, when that woman must have been in bed asleep hours ago. She’d wanted his kisses, but she’d wanted than to mean something. Not just a means to get back to Althea to prove he was over her.

  She was wrong. Kit wasn’t a fool—she was. And the next time she saw him she’d let him know their deal was off. He’d have to find another way to get back at Althea. Kelly wasn’t playing anymore. She didn’t want to be kissed because of some other woman. She wanted him to kiss her for herself!

  Sunday morning Kelly attended the local church. Since she was trying to fit into the community she reasoned the sooner she was involved in various aspects, the sooner people would accept her. She was pleased to recognize people she’d met the past few weeks, and their greetings made her feel welcomed.

  She spoke with Clint and Sally after church. There was no sign of Kit, and Kelly refused to ask after him.

  “You coming out to our place this afternoon?” Sally asked as they got ready to leave. “I know you want to see Sam.”

  “Yes, if I won’t be in the way,” Kelly said, enjoying the groups of people talking on the lawn in front of the old church. Her eyes darted around, taking in everything, thinking how like a Norman Rockwell setting it was. Yet it was real.

  “No problem. I’ll show you how to do everything you need with a pony. Come around two.”

  “See you then.”

  When Kelly arrived at the ranch, Kit’s truck was missing. She didn’t see Clint, either, but Sally enthusiastically greeted her and led the way to the barn.

  Time sped by. Kelly learned how to groom the pony and pick his hooves. Sally explained about shots and vet visits, feedings and shoeing.

  “Not that you have to worry about all that. I’m sure Kit will take care of everything, but it’s good to know.”

  Kelly nodded, wondering who would take care of Sam when she and Kit no longer played their charade. She paused a moment, her hand on the silky pony. She was going to end that next time she saw him. Maybe she should see if Beth’s father could board the pony right away.

  “I have to go,” Kelly said when Sally suggested they share iced tea on the deck.

  “Come any time. If no one’s home, just come back to the barn. We don’t keep anything locked. You can use any of the equipment.”

  And so for the next couple of days, Kelly spent her mornings working on the book and her afternoons at the Lockford ranch working with her pony. Kit was conspicuously absent at each visit, though Kelly stalled as late as she could each day without being obvious about it.

  Wednesday she worked at home all day, finishing her book just before dinner. It had gone faster than any book she’d completed before and she was pleased with the result. Excited, she called her agent.

  Judith was thrilled to hear the book was already finished. “That’s the quickest I’ve known you to do one. Maybe being in the country will be great for your work.”

  “Reserve judgment until you see it. It may not be something you think you can sell. I thought I’d come in to the city tomorrow, bring you the manuscript and do some shopping.”

  “Great. Plan to stay the night.”

  “Sure. Let’s go to a sushi bar for dinner. I’m longing for some food I can’t get here.”

  “You’re in beef country there. We’ll eat every meal at a different place.”

  “You’re on!” Kelly smiled, looking forward to visiting with Judith, looking forward to seeing San Francisco. It had been over a month since she had moved from the city. It didn’t seem possible.

  Early the next morning, dressed up in what she now thought of as her city clothes, Kelly headed west. It felt great to dress up again. Though she was comfortable in the shorts and jeans she now wore, she liked dressing up.

  The drive was pleasant through the central valley and over the Altamont Pass into the Bay Area. As she drew closer and closer to the city, Kelly was constantly reminded how different the sleepy area in Tuolumne County was. There the rolling hills were covered with grass and trees and cattle. Here every hillside was covered with homes. Traffic was heavy, even though rush hour had long passed. She could feel the energy of the city as she drew nearer. Almost before she realized it she was parking in the Stockton Street garage and on her way to meet Judith.

  Kelly had worn a warm suit. The hot central valley weather was not found along the coast in summer. Here the wind was cold, the tall buildings hid the sun and the ocean fog kept the temperatures cool.

  Judith enthused over the paintings, the story line. Scanning it quickly at first, then slowly, critically studying each setting, she smiled smugly. “Probably the best you’ve done so far,” she told Kelly as she turned the pages.

  Kelly smiled. Suddenly she wanted to share Judith’s assessment with Kit. The smile faded. Would he even care? She was thinking about him too much. Wasn’t she planning to tell him the charade was over?

  The day whirled by. Judith took Kelly to lunch at a favorite sushi bar and caught her up on all the news of mutual friends. When Judith went back to work, Kelly visited her old neighborhood until time to meet Judith for dinner.

  They ate in Chinatown and Kelly relished the chow fun, sweet and sour pork and spicy Mongolian beef. She relished the diversity of the food in San Francisco, and hadn’t realized how much she missed the opportunity for variety until she no longer had it.

  Otherwise, she found she’d missed little about the city. It was beautiful, clear and cool, giving its best face for the tourists who flocked to see it. But the street people downtown reduced a lot of the charm. Traffic was worse than she remembered. The indifference from everyone was almost shocking after the friendliness in Taylorville.

  She enjoyed her two days, but was not unhappy to leave. She hadn’t fully realized it before, but Taylorville had become home.

  Kelly was s
urprised to see Kit’s truck parked in her driveway as she approached her house late Friday afternoon. Slowly she pulled in behind him. The truck was empty. She looked at her porch. Not there.

  As she slid from the car, she wondered where he was. Was he waiting for her? How had he known she was coming home at this time? She still wore a blue silk dress. It was a little warm for the heat in Taylorville, and she had planned to change as soon as she reached home. But first she’d look for him.

  As she walked up the driveway she heard voices in the back. Curious, she walked along the side of her house and paused. Kit was sitting beneath the large oak with Molly. Both were drinking iced tea and seemed content to relax in the shade.

  Kit saw her as soon as she appeared, and sat up.

  “Where the hell have you been?” he asked, glaring at her.

  Kelly smiled and walked slowly across the grass, her high heels sinking into the dirt with each step. She knew she looked good. Her hair was French braided to keep it from her face, her makeup was impeccable. It was her usual style for the city. Would he see any difference in her?

  “Hello, Molly, Kit. Nice to see you both,” Kelly said deliberately, ignoring his outburst.

  Kit scowled, remembering her comment a while ago about not greeting people.

  “Is this one of those occasions when you haven’t seen someone for a while?” he asked.

  “Yes, it is.” She smiled at him, holding his gaze, wondering if he’d give in.

  “Hello, Kelly Adams. It is nice to see you after so long a time. Where the hell have you been for two days?”

  He had started out in a falsetto, but ended up in a deep growl and she knew better than to push her luck any further.

  Conscious of Molly’s curious eyes, Kelly crossed the rest of the way and leaned over to kiss Kit. “I went to San Francisco. I think I’ve sold my pony book.”

  “You might have let someone know,” he said darkly, looking at the tea.

  Kelly dragged another chair into the group and sat down, glancing from him to Molly. “I rather think you are right about that, Kit. But I’m not used to accounting for myself to others.”