Over the next two hours, I put what Nikki has revealed out of my mind and we are pampered with facials, manicures, and lastly, pedicures. I don't get my nails polished because I can’t stand it when they start to chip, but I love the color on my toes. It’s a French pedicure, but with a black tip instead of white. Once my feet are dry, Nikki and I depart and I head home.
I know I should think over the things I have learned today, but doing that will only hinder my good mood and welcome stress back into my relaxed body. No, thank you. I can mull over that at a later time.
SIXTEEN
The following afternoon I’m finally back at work, settling back into my routine. I’ve missed my sanctuary. I have missed having something to actually do. I give Jenny the day off, so I’m out front working behind the counter. I actually like these days, even though I’m on my feet most of the time. I’m never bored. I’m usually rearranging framed pictures and adding new ones so the place looks fresh and alive. Next week, I’ll start planning the next collection. I’m thinking Las Vegas.
“Damn it!” I holler after tripping over a brown box lying on the floor behind the front counter. I grab the glass counter top so I don’t hit the floor, but not before the corner of a large picture frame stabs my knee.
“Shit,” I spit out. That hurts.
“Is that really the language you want your customers to hear?” My head flies up and I freeze when our eyes lock on each other. How do people not see the evil in this man’s eyes? Thank God Jenny isn’t here. I wouldn’t want her here right now. But then again, I don’t exactly want to be in a room alone with him. I close my eyes briefly and take in a calming breath. He’s still standing on the other side of the counter when I open them back.
Fuck.
“Leave. I have nothing to say you.” I try for assertive, but I know I fail. My voice is breathy.
“Well, I have plenty to say to you, so no, I won’t be leaving, yet. You’ve ignored me long enough so I had to come to you,” he tells me as he walks up to the counter. I instinctively back up, but there is a wall behind me so I don’t get more than a foot or two away from him.
“What do you want?” I ask. My bottom lip is trembling, but there is no controlling it, so I bite down on it, hoping to calm myself. I want to flee, but I won’t get very far if I try to run. I’m still in reaching distance from him now.
“You and I didn’t get to catch up last weekend.” He has a sadistic smile on his face.
“We have nothing to catch up on. Now. Get the FUCK OUT OF HERE!” I yell at him. I won’t show weakness to him again. He reaches over the counter and grabs my arm, pulling me close to him. He has a firm grasp on me, but not so much that it will leave a mark. I inhale sharply which causes an intense pain to shoot through my ribs. They are mostly healed, but every time I take a quick breath, the pain lets me know it’s not completely gone.
“Do I need to teach you a lesson, Shannon? A lesson in respect perhaps?” His grey eyes are cold and I tense up, afraid of what he’s about to do to me. My mind flashes to the last time he said that.
“No,” I plead. So much for not showing him how weak I really am.
“Good,” he says as his eyes soften a little. “Now tell me, what have you told my son about us?” He pulls me even closer.
“Nothing. Please leave me alone. Please go,” I beg him.
“There’s my little beggar. I’ve missed you.” My face is only inches from his and then he plants a quick hard kiss onto my lips. Nausea hits me instantly and I think I’m going to be sick.
I pull back yanking my arm from his grip. Without thinking or considering the consequences, I slap him across the face with all the strength I have. Oh God, what have I done? Pure evil flashes over his face. I cover my mouth with my hand, shocked I let myself lose control like that around him.
“You’ll pay for that, bitch,” he says as he takes his right palm and rubs the area of his cheek that I slapped.
“No,” I whisper. I look around searching for anything that might help me if he attacks. There is no way I can reach the front door without running past him. The only thing in my reach is the picture frame that I hurt my knee on. Not much good it’s going to do. “Please, I’m sorry. I’ve kept my mouth shut all these years. I never told anyone. I just want you to leave.”
“Then why are you back? Why are you fucking my son? What is it you really want, Shannon?” His eyes are blazing and his lips are curved up in a snarl as he stares at me, waiting for a response. Does he think I’m with Nick to get at him somehow? What would give him that idea?
“I…I don’t want anything from you.” And I don’t. I don’t want to ever have to see this man again, but how will that be possible if I continue my relationship with Nick.
As if reading my thoughts, he smirks. “Then maybe you need to reevaluate your relationship with Nicholas. I want you to leave him. Because if you don’t, then I promise you that you will be seeing a lot more of me.” And with that last statement, he backs up and exits the building.
Break up with Nick? No, I don’t want that. I enjoy Nick too much, and we’re good together. I’m not ready to end things. I also don’t want to have to see his father ever again. I don’t want to have to relive everything that happened all those years ago. I back up and slide down the wall, onto my butt with my knees pulled up in front of me. I wrap my arms around my knees and lay my forehead against my kneecaps.
I won’t walk away from Nick, but how can I stay with him and keep this secret? How can I expect him to be honest with me in our relationship if I can’t be honest with him? As I take a deep breath, I hear the chime of the door. Someone has just entered. I look up, cutting my eyes in the direction of the door and see Jeffery walking my way. I push myself up and off the floor.
“Shannon, are you okay?” he asks. Man, I must look awful if he can tell something is wrong. I take another deep breath and plaster on a smile.
“Of course. What can I help you with?” I ask. His eyebrows knit together, as if he doesn’t believe me. Oh, well. This is none of his business.
“I’ve been trying to reach you for a few weeks, but Jenny has been telling me you’ve been unavailable.”
“I’m sorry. I haven’t been in.” I hesitate, remembering Nick’s call to him. That was so embarrassing, but I need to address it. “And I’m sorry about Nick.”
“So, Lockhart.” It’s a statement rather than a question I think.
“Yes,” I say, confirming for him that I am seeing Nick if he was questioning that. His eyebrows knit together and he shakes his head. “What is it I can do for you, Jeffery?” I ask, hoping to bring the conversation back to business.
“I’m making cosmetic changes to my office. It’s located downtown in Pasadena. I want to contract you for fifteen to twenty framed photos.” This is pleasing news to hear and a great way to get my name out to more people. Jeffery is the CEO of an architecture firm.
“So far, everything you’ve said sounds good.” I beam at him. My mind briefly drifts to Nick. He’s going to hate this, but business is business. There is nothing personal between Jeffery and me.
“I was hoping you would say that. I’ll have my assistant call you next week to set up a meeting.” He turns on his heels, striding out the door. How in the hell am I’m going to break this to Nick? Neither one of us really talks about work, so maybe I should keep quiet and not bring up the subject. I know that seems like lying, and I guess it really is, but bat shit crazy Nick hasn’t shown his face and I’d like to keep it that way.
SEVENTEEN
The weekend comes and goes too quickly, as does my Monday afternoon scouting locations for the shoot Jeffery wants me to do. His assistant called me first thing this morning, giving me a few details and set up a meeting with Jeffery. From our brief conversation this morning, I learned Jeffery wants framed photographs of structures and buildings in and around LA to be used as artwork to fill his office space.
We are supposed to meet at 10.00am on Friday to discus
s the project in detail. Until then, I want to have some ideas to lay out in front of him. There are tons of buildings throughout the city, so this project is not only going to be easy, but fun.
It’s been well over a month since I’ve shot any photos for professional purposes, so I’m itching to put my Nikon D4 back into my hands. She is a beauty. I haven’t been inside Jeffery’s office before, so I don’t have any idea what the layout looks like. Come Friday, I’ll have a better idea what I’m going to do for his space.
Even though my day has been long, I’m not tired. But I am glad to be back home. This is because Nick should be home in about an hour. Since the accident a week ago, this is the first day Nick hasn’t been fussing over me or calling to check on me. I didn’t realize how much I miss it until arriving home.
After putting dog food into each of the dogs’ food bowls on the kitchen floor, I wash my hands. Once they are dry, I retrieve a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Opening the bottle, I go to take a swallow when I hear the front door open then quickly slam shut with a loud thud. The noise startles me, but I remember Nick is the only other person with a key. It can’t be anyone else. I place the water on the counter and exit the kitchen. When I enter the living room, my eyes lock onto Nick’s. The look in his eyes is a mixture of anger, betrayal, and hurt. I recognize the look. It’s the same one I had when I realized Allison was the person Luke cheated on me with.
“Nick, what’s wrong?” I ask as I make my way to him. I have an overwhelming need to feel his touch, to have his arms wrapped around me.
“Don’t touch me right now,” he says, forcing the words out as he puts his right hand out in front of him to halt me from getting any closer.
“No,” I say pushing his arm away and closing the distance between us. I grab his arms loosely and look up at him. “What’s wrong?”
“I said, don’t fucking touch me!” he yells as he jerks out of my hold and takes a step back. His eyes are wide and his breathing is ragged. He’s really angry, but why?
“What the hell, Nick! Why are you mad?” I ask him, taking a deep breath. I’m not going to let myself jump to any conclusions. His dad couldn’t possibly have said anything. Not when I can ultimately tarnish everything he is.
“Mad? You think this is mad? This is far beyond mad, Shannon. I want to rip your fucking heart out right now!” he screams at me. I gasp in shock and take a few steps back, hitting the wall behind me. Why would he say that? In the back of my mind, I know only one possible answer.
His father.
“What do you think I did exactly?” I ask him as I realize he’s already made up his mind. Whatever lie his dad told him, he believes. It’s been three day since James paid me a visit and I’ve ignored the threats he’s texted me over the weekend. I’ve deleted them as soon as I realized who they were from. I haven’t ended things with Nick, so something tells me he’s taken matters into his hands. I’d be lying right now if I said I wasn’t scared. Not of Nick, but of what is about to come out of his mouth.
“My father came to my office about an hour ago. What do you think he told me?” He isn’t yelling, but his voice is still loud. It’s almost…cold, like…like his father’s.
“I don’t know,” I say. My voice is low and I look down closing my eyes. This is bad. I can’t believe this. This can’t be happening this way. Nick’s fathers a lying bastard and he believes him.
“That’s how you’re going to play this? You don’t know?” No, I don’t know. I look back up at him as anger sets in. Anger at Nick’s father and anger at Nick for believing him, for not giving me the benefits of doubt.
“No, Nick. I don’t know what he told you. Why don’t you just say it? Why don’t you tell me what you believe?” I clench my fists together, hanging them at my sides.
“What I believe? I want you to tell me it isn’t true. I want you to tell me you didn’t fuck my father. Can you do that?” Yes, I could tell him that because I didn’t willingly have sex with his dad. He raped me, but I remain silent. I can’t get the words from my brain to mouth. “No, you can’t can you?” Tears start to pool into my eyes.
“Don’t start with the fucking water works. There isn’t anything you can do that will take it back. There is nothing that is going to change the fact that you had an affair with my father.”
“No!” I yell, but there are no other words that follow.
“Like hell you didn’t. What do you call fucking a married man?” I look down, remaining silent as more tears roll down my face. “No response,” he snickers. He actually snickers at me. “Were you playing me this whole time? Were you only with me so you could blackmail my father again?” What? I snap my head up. What the hell did he tell him? “Don’t look at me like that. I saw the paid invoices where my father paid your college tuition.” I had nothing to do with that. I never wanted it. He did that to make sure I stayed silent. Tell him, Shannon. Tell him the truth, but I can’t. Instead, I lower my head as more tears fall.
“Your silence is all I need. It speaks volumes right now. We! Are! Done!” He punctuates every word and turns to leave. I grab his arm pulling back.
“No!” I scream. His eyes are cold and harsh.
“You don’t honestly think I’d ever touch you again, do you? After knowing you have been with him? The sight of you makes me sick right now.” He pulls his arm out of my grip and walks out the door, slamming it shut.
He’s gone.
He left me and I still can’t say the words I’ve wanted to speak for so long. How can I want to tell someone…anyone… so badly, yet not be able to? I slide my body down the wall to the floor, cradling my head in my hands. I cry like I’ve never cried before. They are loud ugly cries.
EIGHTEEN
My life couldn’t get any damn worse. I’ve lost the man I love because I’m a fucking coward and couldn’t tell him the real truth. God only knows what he thinks of me right now. I wanted to tell him, really I did, but I couldn’t get the words out of my mouth. ‘Silence speaks volumes’ he told me, and I’m sure mine confirms any lie his father told him.
I want the fucking bastard to die.
I’ve never wished someone dead before. Not even when he raped me ten years ago. Back then, he stole my virginity, but now he’s stolen my life.
Isn’t that rich. Now that Nick is gone, I realize I love him and just how much. My heart feels broken. Nick wanted to rip it out of my chest; well, he succeeded in doing just that three nights ago. Today is no different from Friday night. It may be even worse. It’s Monday morning and I should be at work. Instead, I’m wallowing in my misery.
I’m pulled out of my thoughts when my doorbell rings. Niko is sitting next to me curled up on the couch. I have no idea where Charmin is. Nick didn’t take the dogs when he stormed out of my house. I’m sure he wasn’t thinking clearly and perhaps this is him coming back for his dogs. This thought really saddens me. Over the last four weeks, I’ve not only fallen in love with Nick, but I love his two dogs too.
I throw the blanket off me and finally get up. I haven’t moved since I sat down last night and cried myself to sleep. I’ve cried myself to sleep every night since he left. I didn’t know heartbreak could hurt so much. I guess that’s why they say losing love is like having your heart ripped out of your chest and broken into millions of pieces. There isn’t enough glue in the world that could put it back together the same way it was.
I walk over the door and unlock it. It’s not Nick and I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding. It’s his mother, Elaina Lewis. There is something about the expression she is giving me. I don’t think she hates me, but I think it’s the look I would give someone if I felt sorry for them. I don’t need anyone’s pity. I need Nick back.
“Hi,” I say as I step back, opening the door wide so she can step through the front door. She does and sets her purse on the floor next to the door. I guess she isn’t staying long. Perhaps Nick sent his mom for his dogs, but I highly doubt it. She doesn’t look like much of
a dog person. I didn’t realize it before, but his mom looks perfect. Her attire is pressed and pristine. Her makeup is flawless and her hair is perfectly in place without a stray one flying out.
“I probably should have called you, but I wasn’t certain you would be answering any calls. You look like you had a rough night.” That’s putting it mildly. It’s been a rough few days.
I walk back over to the couch and sit back in the same corner I was in before she arrived. Niko had since gotten off the couch and probably went outside through the doggy door Nick had installed to use his outdoor potty. Man, it must be a great life to be a dog. Eat, sleep, and shit on grass. They don’t have to worry about falling in love and having it ripped away from you.
“You don’t look like you want to rip me apart so why are you here?” I ask. She might as well get to the point so I can go back to the depressing misery that is my life.
“You thought I would be mad at you?” she says as she takes a seat and grabs my left hand into both of hers. Yeah, she definitely feels sorry for me.
“Why wouldn’t you be? Either you know your husband’s side of the story, or Nick told you. Either way, it’s still your husband’s version.” Why couldn’t I just have told him? Would he have believed me?
“I should have come to see you before now, but I didn’t want to face the truth.” What does that mean? Did Judge Lewis tell her before yesterday? Is she the reason he told Nick? I doubt it. He wanted to hurt me, and he knew taking Nick from me would be the worst thing he could do. He told me I would pay and I’m certainly doing that.
“What do you mean?” I ask her while pulling my hand away. I’d rather not be touched right now. She sighs deeply before responding.
“The day you came to my house, I saw your eyes when you heard James’ voice. It was a look of pure fear. I knew in that moment he had done something horrible to you.” She pauses for a brief moment, casting her eyes down before continuing. “He forced you, didn’t he?”
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