Stevie was everywhere. She’d told her side of the story; put the exaggerated version of events to rest in both a national newspaper and a TV interview, and he’d watched that interview intently, watched as she’d re-lived it all. He’d seen the pain in her eyes, the regret that was all too obvious, and just seeing her there on the screen, as beautiful and wild as he remembered her – he’d felt as though someone had reached inside his chest and grabbed at his heart, so intense was the pain.
Oh, she hadn’t talked much about their relationship, but that was probably because she’d been warned not too, Daniel suspected. It had become a somewhat sensitive subject, but when he’d watched her face as his name had been briefly mentioned he’d seen a flicker of something in her eyes that told him she hadn’t wanted it to end the way it had either. He’d sensed that maybe she’d have liked to have said goodbye too, although he still wished they hadn’t had to say goodbye at all. But then, maybe Angus was right. Maybe it never would have worked. The differences between them had already started to surface and that would only have got worse as time had gone on, but it didn’t stop him from missing her. Missing her smile, the way she talked to him in that upfront, no nonsense manner of hers. Missing the way they made love.
But it would seem that she was very much back with Mark Cassidy now. Back with her rock star boyfriend. She was getting her life back on track while he felt as though his was standing still. He knew she was over in America with the band, working with them on the U.S. leg of their tour and the papers were full of photographs of her with the tall and handsome Black Rock Diamond front man. Photographs Daniel found very hard to look at yet he couldn’t ignore them. He couldn’t let her go, and if that was the only way he could get to see her then he’d accept that, no matter how much it hurt.
A knock at his office door shook him back to reality and he looked up. “Come in.”
Samantha walked into the room, her blonde hair pulled back in a perfect ponytail, her dress and heels the epitome of the well-bred, upper-middle-class politician’s wife. Angus was right. She was everything he needed. But nothing he wanted.
“Daniel, darling, I really think I should re-arrange the furniture in the drawing room, don’t you? Put our own stamp on it.”
Daniel was staring blankly at a pile of paperwork on his desk, trying to work out what had to be done and what could wait and he wasn’t completely concentrating on everything she was saying.
“Daniel? Are you listening to me?”
He looked up again, trying to give her what he hoped was a convincing smile.
“I’m sorry. I was miles away. If you feel it needs re-arranging then I’ll leave that in your capable hands. I’ve got some work to be getting on with in here. I’ll leave it entirely up to you.”
She smiled back. “I’ll have this place looking like home in no time. Would you like a cup of coffee before you get started?”
He shook his head, sitting down behind his desk and switching on the laptop, looking up as Samantha closed the door behind her. She was back in his life. And he felt more alone than ever.
***
Samantha knew when she was being dismissed. But she also knew she had to be patient. It would all eventually get back to normal, it was just going to take some time, that’s all. And Samantha had plenty of that.
She smiled as she surveyed the surroundings of a house she’d always wanted to be inside, ever since Daniel had made his desire to become Prime Minister known and, bar the somewhat false start, she was finally here and well on the way to making Number Ten, Downing Street their home. As far as she was concerned this was the start of their brand new future because Daniel needed her, why else would he have asked her to come back? He needed her by his side and she was going to do everything she could to make sure he stayed the popular and successful man that he’d become because, as Angus had predicted, he’d managed to weather the storm created by Stevie Stone remarkably well with minimum damage to both his career and reputation.
It had been a blip, totally out-of-character for a man like Daniel, but they were getting back on track now. She could feel it. Everything was going according to plan. Except the fact that Daniel found it hard to even look at her at the moment. Conversation’s were strained and in reality they hadn’t even spent that much time together since her return but it would all fall into place. Eventually. That perfect happy ending would happen. Daniel would soon get back to normal and stop pining over someone that he just couldn’t have, because Samantha wasn’t stupid. She knew what was going on in his head, she could see it in his eyes but that would pass. She just needed to give him a little more time then he’d soon start to realise that Stevie never had been right for him, that she could never have replaced what he had with her and when that time came he’d ask her to marry him again, she knew he would. They’d have the ceremony at her parents’ home and it would be a magnificent affair, something that would show everyone they were back together and more solid than ever. Then she could finally start to be the best Prime Minister’s wife Downing Street had ever seen.
Yes, it would all happen and it would all be perfect, the way their life had used to be. The way it would be again. Of that Samantha Madison had no doubt.
***
Stevie loved Los Angeles. She’d spent a lot of time there over the years with the band and being back here now, back where she belonged in a world that accepted her without any conditions, it felt good. She felt free again. She could be herself, and she’d needed that. To be able to handle everything that had happened she’d had to be herself.
They had one night left here in L.A., the final gig of the whole tour, then she and Mark were going to spend some time together in the U.S., as a couple, because that’s what they were now. A couple. For the first time in years, after all that time of pretending it was something neither of them wanted when it was quite evident it was what they’d both wanted more than anything, they’d just been too stubborn to admit it, they were finally together, properly together. Boyfriend and girlfriend. Mark Cassidy and Stevie Stone. Rocks coolest couple.
As Connor had predicted, the media storm had taken a while to run it’s course, and Stevie hadn’t helped with the attempted overdose, but with a lot of help and with people to guide her, she’d got through it all. Eventually. Rather than hiding away she’d taken the advice to speak out and give people what they wanted – her side of things – and it had been almost cathartic to get everything out in the open. It had been like the most public counselling session you could ever have had but it had helped more than she’d ever thought possible.
She’d given exclusives to one newspaper and one TV show but after that she’d been in so much demand it was ridiculous. Everyone wanted a piece of her and she’d found herself having modelling contracts, record deals and TV work thrown at her from every direction. Within a fortnight she had an agent who was handling everything for her, helping her decide just what to do next, but she wanted to do the tour with the band before she decided anything about her future. She wanted a bit of time with Mark, time to get her head straight. Time to meet her son before any new crazy rollercoaster ride began because there was still so much to get her head around. Including the change in Mark – the man she’d once accused of running away from things – because he had been amazing throughout it all.
He was a totally different Mark Cassidy to the one she’d known before. It was as if he’d suddenly grown up and realised that it wasn’t a weakness to show emotion or commitment. He loved her, and she’d finally let herself love him back. Oh, he was still very much the rock star out there on stage, still the man most girls would kill to get near, he hadn’t changed that much. But he’d changed enough to show Stevie that he could be there for her when she needed him. And she’d changed enough to let him.
So she’d gone back to what she knew best, roadie-ing for the band on the American leg of their tour, and she’d loved every second of being back out on the road. It wasn’t exactly the same of course, how could
it be with everything that had happened? She had a son out there - a son she was going to meet very soon; she was practically a celebrity herself – albeit a slightly reluctant one at the minute - thanks to recent events, with a whole new chapter in her life about to begin. But being on the road with a rock band was still where her heart lay. Tour buses, concert venues, different hotel rooms - it was home. It was the way she liked things. That uncertain predictability.
“Jesus, Jack, what have you been smoking?” Stevie asked, as Jack Warner sauntered onto the stage for the sound check, chewing gum and oozing rock star swagger with his dirty blonde hair and torn jeans.
“Are you telling me the gum isn’t masking it then?”
“Not much, no.”
He shrugged, picking up his guitar and slinging it over his shoulder as he walked over to her, slipping his arm round her waist and kissing her quickly on the cheek.
She looked at him. “What was that for?”
“It’s good to have you back, that’s all.”
She couldn’t help smiling. “Missed me have you?”
“Yeah,” he smiled back. “I’ve had no-one to fight with.”
She felt her stomach do a little flip. She really was home and it was the best feeling.
“Is he bothering you?” Mark smiled, walking onto the stage, hands dug deep in his pockets and Stevie felt her stomach flip over again – for a whole different reason. Why had she never realised before just what this man meant to her instead of fighting it every step of the way?
“No, funnily enough he isn’t. Not at the minute, anyway.”
Jack stuck his tongue out at her and she returned the gesture before slipping her arms round Mark’s waist.
“How you feeling?” he asked, pulling her closer.
She rested her forehead against his, gently stroking the back of his neck. “I’m ok. A little nervous maybe, but I’m sure he’s feeling exactly the same.”
Connor had flown over to L.A. from the U.K. with Luke a couple of days ago, and now she was just minutes away from meeting her son for the first time in fifteen years. The last time she’d seen him he’d been a beautiful two year old toddler and now he was almost eighteen years old. So much time had passed and she’d lost so many precious years and it was all her fault, but she just hoped that he would understand why she’d done what she’d felt she’d had to do and let her start to rebuild that lost relationship between them. It had become very important to her, to make this work. She wanted to make it up to him. She wanted to love her son.
She knew he was a fan of the band, Connor had told her as much, and when he’d told her that Luke hadn’t managed to get tickets for their U.K. dates she’d suggested he bring him over to L.A. for the last gig of the tour. Make it something special. And if she was honest with herself she felt much safer and more confident about coming face-to-face with her son again in surroundings she felt comfortable in.
According to Connor, Luke had gone wild at the chance to fly to Los Angeles, a place he’d always wanted to visit, and he was even more excited about meeting the band. How he felt about meeting her she still didn’t know but she’d find out soon enough because they were on their way to the venue, and this was finally it. She was going to meet the son she’d abandoned – because there was no other word for it – all those years ago.
“He’s gonna love you,” Mark smiled, kissing the tip of her nose, and she smiled back.
“Well, maybe not straightaway. He’s had a lot to deal with and me just gate-crashing his life like this, it can’t be easy.” She looked up into Mark’s deep brown eyes. Eyes she could get lost in and she would, later. “But, I’d like to think that we can get to know each other, at his own pace. I don’t want to rush him into anything; I don’t want to do that. But I really hope he’s up for that, Mark. I just want him to know that I’m sorry. And I want you to know that I’m sorry too, for keeping this from you. More than anyone I should have told you.”
“Hey, come on.” He gently stroked her fringe from her eyes, taking her hand in his and squeezing it tight. “We’ve been over all of this a hundred times. It’s ok, you know it is. I just want you to be happy – I want us to be happy, and all of this, everything that’s happened…it’s made quite a few of us put a lot of things into perspective. So no more apologies, ok? Let’s move forward and get this future of ours started because we’re gonna have a great life, baby. I promise you that.”
She smiled, kissing him gently, burying her fingers in the hair at the back of his neck as the kiss got harder, his hand sliding further up her t-shirt. They had a future, Stevie Stone and Mark Cassidy, and that thought alone made everything else that much easier to deal with.
***
Luke was beside himself with a mixture of excitement at meeting one of the most famous bands on the rock scene, and stomach-churning nerves at the thought of seeing his mum after all these years. His head was a bit all over place because she was one of the coolest, most beautiful women out there and the fact she was his mum was so great, but then, when he thought about all the years he’d been without her, how she’d been able to walk away with not one word to either him or his dad, well, that confused him. He wanted it to be ok, he really did. He just wasn’t sure what he should really be feeling. He’d had three months to get used to the idea but he still didn’t know what should be going on in his head.
“You ok?” Connor asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed in his son’s hotel room, watching as he rubbed wax into his hands and pushed them through his dark hair, spiking it up.
Luke nodded, picking up his cuff watch from the table and fastening it onto his left wrist. The same wrist Stevie wore hers on, Connor noticed.
“You sure?” Connor went on.
Luke turned around and shoved his hands in his pockets, leaning back against the table beside him.
“It’s ok to still be confused, Luke. Really, it is. You’ve had a lot to take in, so many things going on, and nobody expects you to get used to all of this overnight. So if you’re still unsure about meeting Stevie…”
“No. I want to meet her, dad. I want to get to know her.” He looked at his dad, his blue eyes so like his mum’s as he looked straight at Connor. “I should hate her really, shouldn’t I? For what she’s done. For not being there for me when I was growing up, but I don’t. I don’t hate her. Is that wrong?”
Connor shook his head. Luke had handled this far better than he’d ever expected, and he’d had some shit thrown at him over the past few months. Hearing his mum was back in his life then knowing she’d tried to take an overdose, that would surely be enough for any teenager to cope with. But Luke had also had to contend with reporters and photographers following him to and from college, hanging around outside their home – even Connor’s journalism connections hadn’t helped stop all that from happening, if anything they’d made things slightly worse. But Luke had handled everything with the sense and intelligence of someone far older than his seventeen years and Connor couldn’t be more proud of him.
“No. It’s not wrong, Luke.”
Luke stared at the ground, his hands still shoved deep in his pockets. “It’s going to feel weird though.”
Connor stood up, going over to his son, gently touching his shoulder. “Of course it is, but she’s not that scary you know. She might look it, but she isn’t.”
Luke looked up and smiled. “Can I have a tattoo, dad? Stevie’s got some amazing tattoos!”
“Yeah, I know she has.” And Connor knew the reason why she’d had a lot of them done now. The ones on her arms especially.
“So? Can I get some done? Please? While we’re here in L.A.? It would be so cool to have them done here.”
Connor smiled. Now he was acting like a typical seventeen year old. “We’ll see, ok? And that’s all you’re getting, for now. Come on, grab your jacket and let’s get going. We don’t want to be late.”
“Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re the best. I want yo
u to know that. The best dad in the world.”
***
“I think I might owe you an apology,” Dave Deacon said, sitting down next to Stevie at the back of the arena as the set-up for that night’s gig carried on around them.
She looked at him. She’d been back with the band for a couple of months now and this was the first time he’d really spoken to her in all that time, but she knew him now. It was just the way he was and anyway, some people just didn’t know what to say to her after everything that had happened. He was probably one of those people.
“No apologies, Dave. It’s a new start, ok?”
He looked over towards the stage, where Mark and Jack were laughing over something.
“I should have just banged your heads together ages ago and made you both see sense, made you both see that you should be together. I shouldn’t have tried to keep you apart, that was wrong.”
“It wasn’t just you, Dave. I fell in love with Daniel, that was the problem. So many things drove me and Mark apart…you didn’t help, but you weren’t entirely to blame.”
Dave smiled as he looked at her. She seemed a little different since all the drama had kicked off. A little softer. It was a side of her he hadn’t seen before.
“He was a mess without you y’know.”
“We’re together now.” She looked down at her hands then back up at Dave. “I’ll keep him on the straight and narrow.”
He smiled again. “Yeah, well, you can let him veer off-track now and again you know. We’ve still got an image to keep up.”
She laughed, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “I knew there was a human being in there somewhere.”
“Yeah, I let him out occasionally. Look, I know your son’s coming over soon so…give him an access-all-areas pass and I’ll show him around the place, ok?”
She smiled. “Thanks, Dave.”
See You at the Show Page 28