Let's Get Textual
Page 14
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Me: Better than my ass?
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Zach: And your sass.
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Me: You’re dumb.
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Zach: I love it when you talk dirty to me.
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Me: Omg. Why did I ever let you into my bed?
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Zach: It was the Harry Potter underwear.
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Me: How could I forget.
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Me: Aren’t you supposed to be working?
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Zach: Nah. I called it a day about an hour ago. I’m having dinner with my brother.
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Me: Is your brother hot? Nicer than you? I bet he doesn’t wear Harry Potter panties.
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Zach: Excuse me, I am a stud AND I’m nice. He’s a total ladies’ man, blond, boy-next-door type shit. And he’s a complete asshole.
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Me: Is he really?
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Zach: No, but I’m not about to talk him up when I can talk about me.
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Me: Your confidence knows no bounds. I thought nerds were supposed to be all shy and insecure.
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Zach: I told you, I’m a different breed, baby. ;-)
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Me: Are you done?
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Zach: Nope.
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Zach: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT
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Zach: A picture of me to keep you occupied.
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Me: You have approximately sixty chins in this photo. How will a blob face keep me occupied?
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Me: OMG. Do you think I’m putting THAT in my spank bank?!
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Me: Because I am. Off to diddle myself. Toodles!
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Zach: See, this is when you take a sexy picture and send it to me for MY spank bank.
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Zach: Be a team player, Delia.
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Me: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT
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Zach: Why do you think I have a foot fetish?
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Me: You don’t? I assumed all men did. I always have creepers asking for pics on IG and FB.
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Zach: I most definitely do not have any sexual attraction toward your feet.
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Me: So you’re saying my feet are ugly. Gotcha.
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Zach: I didn’t say that. For feet, they’re cute.
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Me: But you don’t want to fuck ’em?
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Zach: I’ve backed myself into a corner here, huh?
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Me: Maybe, and I’ll keep this going alllllll night long. Crazy is my specialty.
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Zach: Don’t I know it.
Zach: I just ate the BEST pizza of my entire life.
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Me: Why do you tease me with such things?
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Zach: I could bring you here on our date Thursday, but I have somewhere else to take you. Maybe our fourth date can be pizza.
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Me: Oh, so you think you’ll be lucky enough to score a fourth date with me?
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Zach: Well, yeah. After you have a taste of my skills in bed, there’s no way you’ll pass up a fourth date with me.
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Me: I’ve just realized why it’s so hard for me to catch my breath around you.
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Zach: My ego is sucking all the air out of the room, isn’t it?
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Me: Bingo, buster.
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Me: I thought you were with your brother?
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Zach: That fucker ditched me for a last-minute date so Robbie and I ordered in to mend my broken heart.
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Me: Are you two close? You and your brother?
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Zach: About average, I’d say. We don’t text and gossip, if that’s what you’re wondering. Most of the time I only see him at holidays because of our schedules. He’s actually my stepbrother, but our parents have been together since I was six.
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Me: After your mom passed?
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Zach: Yep. My dad and his mom met shortly after his dad passed away. It was kind of like the universe brought them together. Slug’s a pain in the dick half the time, but I love the guy.
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Me: Slug?
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Zach: Yep, that’s what we call him. He’s a baseball dude.
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Zach: Are you close with your brother? He’s partially to blame for the wrong number thing, isn’t he?
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Me: Kind of. Yeah, we’re close. My mom worked at the hospital so it was usually just us two fending for ourselves.
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Me: Okay, so I shouldn’t say fending for ourselves. That makes me sound like a dick and unappreciative of all my mom did. We just spent many nights just the two of us because my mom was a hardworking single lady and she wasn’t searching for a man to put a ring on it because she. Is. Fierce.
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Zach: I bet your mom is the shit.
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Me: She really is. You should meet her sometime.
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Me: Oh, awkward…I’m talking about meeting the family and we’re not even officially a couple.
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Zach: We’re not?
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Me: We are?
My phone lights up with a call from Zach.
“Are you saying we aren’t dating?” he says before I can say anything.
“We are…”
“Are you saying you’re wanting to see other people?”
“No…”
“So then we’re a couple.”
I’m quiet, unsure what to say. I’m so scared to label this, which is stupid, I know.
“Delia?”
“Yes, Zach?”
“Do you not want to be?”
I take a deep breath and push out the answer I know is right, even though my head is saying otherwise. “No. I want to be a couple.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’m just…scared. I know I shouldn’t put that all on you, but you’re kind of the reason I’m scared. I like you, Zach—a lot—but what if this doesn’t work out? What if we jump in too soon?”
He sighs. “Remember when we were talking about our exes? About the lack of fireworks?”
“Yeah.”
“I swear to god, someone is going to swoop in and take my man card for this shit, but I felt them with you. When we first kissed, I knew right then you were worth jumping in with both feet and taking a risk.”
I don’t let myself overthink his words, wanting to keep my head level and clear.
“What if I’m not worth the risk?”
“We’ll never know if we don’t take it.”
“Say you’re a couple already, Dalilah!” Robbie’s voice comes loud through the speaker. “He paused the movie during an epic scene!”
“How many times have I told you that her name is Delia. Deal-ya. Get it?”
“You talk about me with Robbie?” I ask.
“Sometimes.”
“Say yes! He looks like someone kicked his goat!”
“Shut the fuck up, Robbie!”
I laugh. “If I say yes, will he stop shouting?”
“YES!” Robbie shouts again.
“I’ll take the risk, Zach, but you better be worth it.”
“You’ve seen my Harry Potter underwear—you know I’m worth it.” Then he whispers, “Wink.”
Fourteen
Zach: Are you excited for our date Thursday?
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Me: No.
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Zach: Are you lying?
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Me: Ma
ybe, but you’ll never know.
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Zach: I mean, if you’re not excited, we can always cancel…
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Me: Those three dots aren’t going to get me this time.
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Zach: You wound me.
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Me: Your ego is big enough, it can take the hit.
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Zach: Your sass is on point tonight. Everything okay?
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Me: Sigh. Yeah. It was a long day. My professors are trying to cram a bunch of last-minute studying in before Thanksgiving break.
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Zach: Do we need to reschedule the date? Give you time to relax? I don’t mind waiting for you, Delia.
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Me: I think it would be better if we had the date. That way I can focus on something other than schoolwork for a bit.
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Zach: Then it’s still on.
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Zach: Oh, and Delia?
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Zach: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT
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Me: *heart eyes* You are SO cute!
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Zach: Thanks, I know.
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Me: I was talking about Marshmallow.
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Zach: Wounded again.
Me: TELL ME YOU DID NOT!
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Zach: I DID NOT.
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Zach: Also, what did I do?
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Me: YOU SENT ME A FUCKING COUCH.
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Zach: It’s there already? That was FAST.
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Me: How? How in the world did you manage to do this so quickly?!
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Zach: Money talks.
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Zach: I know it’s not the exact couch you had before, but I tried to find something similar so you wouldn’t miss your old one. Did I do okay?
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Me: Did you do okay… You bought me a fucking COUCH, Zach! Yes, you did fantastically.
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Me: I assumed you were kidding about buying a new one. I can’t believe you right now.
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Zach: It was only fair. My goat destroyed your furniture, so I had to replace it.
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Me: But it’s a couch!
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Zach: I think we’ve established that by now.
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Me: I… Shit. THANK YOU. Zoe says thank you too. You have no idea how badly I want to kiss you right now.
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Zach: I’ll allow it.
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Me: Thursday—you’re getting alllll the action then.
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Me: I’d even consider sexting with you right now. That’s how elated I am.
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Zach: Shit yeah! Let’s do this.
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Me: I said CONSIDER.
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Zach: Devil woman!
Zach: Tomorrow night, I’ll woo you like you’ve never been wooed before.
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Me: Please tell me you bought Marshmallow siblings.
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Zach: Um, no. Our date is not new goats.
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Me: What could possibly woo me more than baby goats?
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Zach: Me. ;-)
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Me: You’re an okay second choice.
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Me: Do I need to dress fancy or anything?
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Zach: Do you think I’m made of money or something? I send you ONE couch and suddenly I’m loaded. *rolls eyes*
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Me: Zachary…
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Zach: It’s casual attire. Jeans are acceptable. Or nudity. I think they’re good with that too.
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Me: Always trying to get me naked.
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Zach: I think my powers of persuasion are broken since it hasn’t happened yet.
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Me: There’s always tomorrow. ;-)
“The Ranch House? Did you bring me to a back-road country bar?”
“One, no. Two, hell no. I don’t do country.”
“I bet you’d look sexy in a pair of Wranglers and cowboy boots.”
“Stop it right now. I’m just as sexy in my fandom shirts.”
“You are. I especially liked your Baby Groot shirt.” I squeeze his hand. “Come on, take me inside this fancy ranch house already. I’m dying to know what it is.”
We exit the car and I’m careful to hold my skirt down, not wanting to flash anyone.
“Did I tell you how much I love that skirt you’re wearing?” Zach asks, coming up behind me.
He’s pressed against me, a hand gently resting on my lower back, his mouth at my ear. I shiver and he chuckles.
“Your ears are sensitive, aren’t they?” I nod and his lips brush below my most sensitive spot.
Another shiver. More chuckles.
I gasp when his lips meet my exposed neck, and I’m thankful I wore my hair up. He places a tender kiss before whispering, “Is this date three, Delia?”
My nipples turn to stone, and I’m so scared I’ll moan out the words that I can’t speak. I nod instead.
“Then we’re going to have fun tonight.”
With that, he steps away and laces our hands together, pulling me along without another word.
He leads, and I gladly follow.
When we step inside The Ranch House, I’m surprised to find that it really isn’t a country bar. In fact, it’s pretty damn cool inside. There’s a rustic element to it, but it’s still modern, with a massive floor-to-ceiling window covering nearly the entire back half of the building. Outside are tables and chairs, a fire roaring in the center of it all. White lanterns are strung around the perimeter, and a paved pathway leads right down to the dock on a sprawling lake.
It’s stunning.
“Zach, this is gorgeous.”
“Isn’t it? Come on, let’s grab a table.”
The hostess standing behind the podium eyes Zach, her smile growing as she does.
If Zoe were here, she’d be making a scene about someone making a pass at her man, but me? I don’t mind. I know Zach is attractive. I’d be checking him out too if I were in her shoes—but I’m not. I’m standing at his side.
I have no reason to be jealous.
“Hi, two please,” Zach says politely.
The blonde smiles seductively. “Sure thing, hon. Right this way.”
She leads us to a table in the center of the crowded restaurant, but it’s not cutting it for Zach.
“Can we sit outside? On the patio?” He squeezes my hand. “Somewhere…private.”
Her smile is more forced this time. “No problem.”
We’re led outside and given a table close to the fire. Zach, ever the gentleman, pulls my chair out before taking a seat himself.
“Your waiter will be right you,” the hostess says before depositing our menus and scurrying off.
“She thinks you’re hot,” I tell him once she’s out of earshot.
He grins, the fire making the mischief shine through even more. “That’s because I am.”
I snort and open the menu to peruse. It doesn’t take me long to catch on. I peek up to find Zach staring at me, waiting to see what my reaction is.
“This place…they take their name seriously, huh?”
“Very. Thoughts?”