All The King's Horses: A Tale Of Eternal Love

by Downs, Alethea

  She folded her arms across her chest and stared straight ahead.

  “Are you not speaking to me now?”

  Silence was all that answered him.

  “Okay, I’ve got things I need to be doing.” He swung himself out of bed and started pulling his trousers on. “Hopefully by the time I get back home you’ll be talking to me again.” He watched her as he buttoned his shirt up. Her face was set in stone. She was, quite simply, seriously displeased with him. “I’ll see you later,” he said, as he made for the door.

  Grabbing his keys off the sideboard he wandered out onto the verandah. He had never seen Christy behave like this before. He absentmindedly jangled the keys in his hand. She had been almost childlike, and although he would dearly love to give her the baby she so wanted he would be a fool to do so. If the baby weakened her immune system then the Leukemia would come back with a vengeance and he would lose his precious wife.

  He walked over to the car and slipped into the driver’s seat. She must know the risks. Surely she had thought it out even though her maternal instincts were kicking in. So why wasn’t her survival instinct coming into play?

  He backed out of the driveway and pointed the car in the direction of Bob Thomas’s place. He had stayed in touch with Bob since the night of the storm and the two had become fast friends. Kent was heading round to Bob’s to give him a hand putting up a new fence in his backyard.

  His thoughts wandered back to his wife. He couldn’t deny that he would like to have a baby with her. He had always liked children, and to have one of his own with the woman he was so in love with would be the ultimate. But it was impossible. Surely she could see that?

  He gripped the steering wheel tightly as he stared at the road ahead. She could obviously be stubborn if her performance back there was anything to judge by. He hoped she wasn’t going to dig her toes in over this or there was going to be some unhappy days ahead for the pair of them. They had been blissfully happy up until this point, and he hated to think things might change between them now.

  He wondered what a baby of theirs would look like. Hopefully she would like Christy. Vivid green eyes and pale skin, she would wow everyone just like her mother. He smiled to himself. She would be the cutest baby anyone had ever seen, and he the proudest father.

  What was he doing? He was thinking along the lines of this baby being a possibility. He was entertaining the same thoughts Christy had. He silently scolded himself for his moment of weakness. He must be strong. He mustn’t give in to Christy’s demand for a baby. He must make sure he remained the voice of reason.

  ♥

  Christy waited until she heard Kent’s car start up and drive away before she got out of bed and slowly dressed. Her heart was heavy to the point of breaking. She had known Kent wasn’t going to be easy to win over, but she hadn’t been prepared for the brick wall she had come up against. He had made it painfully clear to her that he was not into giving her a baby under any circumstances, and it left her feeling frustrated and sad.

  She wandered out to the kitchen and made a start on the dishes. She knew she shouldn’t be angry with him. He was only thinking of her. But having his baby was all she had been able to think about these past few weeks, and she had talked herself into believing it was going to be a reality. Having Kent kybosh the whole thing had brought her fighting spirit to the fore.

  It was hard for her not to feel sorry for herself, even though it wasn’t a trait she admired in anyone least of all herself. But she couldn’t seem to help it. Life had been so unfair to her. It was bad enough she had lost her first husband in such tragic circumstances, but to then end up with cancer and desire a baby so much but be denied one was too much to accept. She knew there must be other people out there who had it much worse than she did but she hadn’t come across any in quite a while.

  She didn’t think Kent understood how important this was to her. How could he? He was a man, and as such didn’t have a maternal instinct.

  She stacked the last of the dishes in the rack and reached for the towel. She had been rather hard on him she supposed. She had dropped this whole thing on him from out of nowhere. She started to feel sorry for him. He did love her very much and was only trying to protect her. She was lucky to have him for a husband. He always placed her first. When he came home she would tell him she was sorry and they could discuss the possibility of having a baby in a calmer manner.

  She looked out the window and noticed the dark clouds gathering in the sky. There looked to be rain on the way. Hopefully Kent and Bob would get the fence finished before it arrived.

  Hanging up the towel she went outside and standing on the verandah checked out the sky. The air had a chill to it that was unusual for this time of year, and so she didn’t doubt rain was on the way. That would mean no charters for a couple of days until the sea had calmed down. She would have Kent all to herself for a while, and that was always something she looked forward to.

  The poor guy must have wondered what had struck him when she started sulking and refusing to talk. It was childish of her really, and now that she had reflected on it she was embarrassed by her behavior. Kent London was quite possibly the best thing that ever happened to her, and she was determined not to stuff it up with him. She suspected most failed relationships started off the way theirs had this morning, a silly tiff where neither side would back down. Then before you knew it they weren’t speaking, and from there the couple drifted apart until one day they separated. She would definitely make it up to him when he came home.

  ♥

  “She’s getting clucky,” Bob explained, when Kent had told him about Christy’s strange behavior that morning. “Sarah was exactly the same.”

  “How do I handle it?”

  “You need to be understanding and gentle with her. She’s newly married so she’s going through the whole nesting instinct thing. Sometimes it wears off, and other times it just gets stronger by the day.”

  “That’s what I was afraid of,” Kent confessed. “She was pretty adamant we are going to have a baby together, and when I pointed out the dangers because of the cancer she turned quite nasty on me.”

  “She feels threatened. She was hoping you’d be on her side and give her what her instincts are telling her are hers to have as of right.”

  “But a baby isn’t hers to have as of right is it?”

  “Some people would argue that it is.” Bob tacked a board in place before he continued. “She is a woman, Kent, and having babies is what a woman has been programmed to do. So if she’s getting maternal on you you’ve got no cause to go getting all tough on her.”

  “I suppose I was a bit harsh,” Kent admitted. “It’s just that no mention of babies was made before we got married, and I naturally assumed that because of her condition they were out of the question.” He handed Bob another board. “So when she broached the subject this morning I wasn’t prepared.”

  “I guess the cancer doesn’t stop her from having the same desires any other woman might have,” Bob said. “She’s probably thinking it’s now or never if she’s going to have a child of her own.”

  “Yes, I think you must be right. It would explain her personality change.”

  “It’s understandable really,” Bob continued. “Try putting yourself in her position. She’s deeply in love, is desperate to have a baby with the man she is deeply in love with, but doesn’t know how many years she’s got left to live, or when the cancer will come back and make it impossible for her to conceive.” He hammered the new board on then straightened up to admire his handiwork. “And she wants to give you something precious, something made up of the two of you.” He looked Kent straight in the eye. “Sarah gave me two daughters and a son, and I can vouch for the fact that they are very precious indeed. If I didn’t have those kids I wouldn’t feel anywhere near as fulfilled as I am.”

  “Yeah, okay, you’ve convinced me,” Kent conceded. “But what can I do about it? I don’t want have a child at the cost of my wife�
�s life.”

  “Of course not, but here’s a suggestion for you. Why don’t you and Christy go and see a specialist? Someone who can clearly lay out the pro’s and con’s of someone in Christy’s situation having a baby. At least she’d being hearing the harsh truth from someone other than her husband. And who knows…maybe she can have a baby?”

  “That’s a good idea, Bob. At the very least it will give her some hope for a while. I rather be going home and suggesting that than just telling her it’s no go. She was very upset when I left this morning.”

  “A marriage is never easy,” Bob commiserated. “But yours is especially difficult because of the problems that the cancer poses. It’s only love and understanding that’ll get you through.”

  Love and understanding, they were two words that Kent thought long and hard about that afternoon as he helped Bob put up his fence. He certainly had love for Christy by the truckload, but had he shown her much understanding? He would need to change. He had lived on his own so long that it had become too easy to just think of himself and not consider anyone else’s feelings.

  He smiled as he thought about her outburst this morning. She could obviously be a little firebrand when she felt the need to be, and it made him love her all the more. He would put Bob’s suggestion to her when he got back home. They would see the specialist together and take things from there. If his beautiful wife felt she needed a baby to be fulfilled then he would do everything he could to give her one.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Kent and Christy sat impatiently holding hands as the specialist went over Christy’s case notes. This was the moment they had been waiting for these past four weeks, ever since Kent had got home from helping Bob Thomas and Christy had raced into his arms begging him to forgive her for being so nasty to him. It had been a long wait with several tests Christy had to undergo to get to this point in time. Still, here they were, about to hear whether or not they could go ahead and make a baby.

  Steven Bailey cleared his throat and removing his glasses from his nose placed them gently on the desk in front of him.

  Kent gave his wife’s hand a little squeeze to calm her nerves.

  “I’ve gone over your records very carefully,” bailey said soberly, “and although it’s possible for you to conceive it’s my professional opinion that it would be foolhardy for you to attempt it.”

  Christy’s heart sank. This was what she had feared. When Kent came home that day and told her he would support her in having a baby she was over the moon. His only stipulation had been that the specialist must give them the all clear. She hadn’t for one moment allowed herself to believe that he wouldn’t. But here he was, effectively ending her dream of having Kent’s baby.

  “A fetus places enormous demands on a woman’s body,” Bailey was saying, “and given the fact that you have a particularly aggressive form of leukemia there’s no guarantee you would survive long enough to carry the baby to full term let alone live long enough to raise the baby.”

  “But Christy’s in remission,” Kent pointed out. “No cancer cells have been showing up in the blood tests for a while now.”

  “No, they haven’t,” Bailey agreed. “But being in remission isn’t the same as being cured. Most cancer sufferers are in remission for at least a little while.” He paused to give them a chance to take his words in. “It doesn’t mean the cancer can’t or won’t come back.” He flipped to a page in Christy’s file. “Yes, the latest blood test does look promising, but my fear is that a fetus will so drain Christy’s body reserves that if there are any cancer cells present they will start to replicate at an alarming rate.” He looked steadfastly at Kent. “I’m sure you don’t want that happening.”

  “No, of course not, but I don’t want Christy missing out on what most other woman take for granted.”

  “I fully understand that, and sympathize,” Bailey said. “But the fact remains that if she would be placing her life and the babies in grave danger.”

  “Well that’s the end of that then,” Christy said sadly, as they negotiated their way down the busy corridor towards the clinic’s exit.

  “Yes, I’m afraid it is,” Kent agreed.

  Christy held it together until they were back in the car. Then the tears came, and there wasn’t a square inch of her body that didn’t convulse from the heaviness of her sobbing.

  Kent tried to comfort her. “We can see about adopting,” he suggested, his right hand clenching the steering wheel tightly while his left gently caressed her hunched over back.

  “They…wouldn’t…let us,” she managed, between sobs. “I’m…too…big…a risk.” She turned her tear drenched face towards him. “It’s …your…baby…I want.” She collapsed into a fit of crying again.

  He placed both hands on the steering wheel and stared straight ahead. Life could be so cruel. There were people wandering around out there who couldn’t care less about the children they had given birth to. People who didn’t deserve the gift of a baby, but beside him was a woman he knew would make a fine mother, and yet she was going to be denied that privilege. There was no justice in this world.

  Kent started the engine and backing out of the parking space made a start for home.

  ♥

  “How would you like to spend eight weeks touring Britain?” Kent asked casually, as they were eating dinner one evening.

  “What?”

  He grinned. “I think you heard me.”

  Her face lit up. “Oh, Kent, do you really mean it?” The expression on her face suddenly hardened a little. “Can we afford to do it?”

  “Yes and yes,” he answered.

  She squealed in delight. “I’ve never been to Britain before. I have an old school friend over there. Do you think we could visit her?”

  “You can do whatever you want once we get there,” he promised. “I want you to enjoy yourself.”

  She left her chair and walking around to his side of the table planted a kiss on his lips. “You really are a wonderful husband,” she said appreciatively. “I am so glad I made you marry me.”

  “Oh, you made me marry you did you?” He gave her bottom a gentle pat. “I don’t think you had to try very hard.”

  “I knew I wanted you from the very moment I returned your shirt to you,” she confessed.

  “I wanted you the moment I pulled you out of the water, so I think I’ve got you beat on that score.”

  “Oh, Kent, you fibber, I looked an absolute fright that morning. I was not much more than a drowned rat. You couldn’t have fancied me at all.”

  “You were a gorgeous mermaid flapping sadly on the beach,” he said, trying desperately to sound poetical but failing miserably. “When I looked into those vivid green eyes I knew my heart had been stolen forever.”

  “Oh rubbish. You couldn’t wait to hand me over to the ambulance staff and be on your way.” She ran her fingers through his dark hair. “I can’t say I blame you though. It was cold, and you were wet and minus your shirt.”

  He pulled her close to him. “I was struck by your eyes,” he insisted. “And I did think you were beautiful. In fact, I had to try to make a conscious effort to put you out of my mind when I got back home.”

  She kissed the top of her head. “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you, but I’m so glad I’m your wife.”

  “You’ll need to sort out what you’re going to pack,” Kent said, “we’re leaving on the fifth.”

  “The fifth?” she did some quick mental arithmetic. “That’s only eight days away.”

  “Yep.”

  She squealed again. “I’d better go and dig out my luggage from the garage. I hope it’ll be alright, I haven’t used it in years.”

  It did his heart good to see her scurry excitedly away on her errand, and he made a promise to himself that he would make this the best holiday she had ever had.

  Jack had decided to stay behind and look after the house, and Bob Thomas was going to see Kent’s charter commitments through. He and Chri
sty would be going away without a worry in the world.

  Well, not quite. Kent had a morbid fear of flying. Ever since he had done a stint in the territorial’s he had avoided air travel like it was the plague. He had been fine before he had done his time in the army it was what the army made him do that had scared him off.

  Kent by nature was not a nervous man. In fact, he had often been heralded by friends as a man who had nerves of steel. But when you are nineteen years old, and thousands of feet above the ground, staring down at earth through the open door of an airplane, you can be forgiven for being a bit squeamish.

  In the army however, there is no such thing as forgiveness, and as Kent froze in the open doorway with the wind whipping past his face, the last thing he expected was to feel the size eleven boat of his drill sergeant in the small of his back. As he hurtled towards the ground at breakneck speed his heart and stomach still back on board, he made a promise to himself that he would never step foot in an airplane again.

  But here he was eight days later, sitting with hands clutching the sides of his seat, his knuckles white and straining, and his heart racing so fast he feared he might pass out.

  Christy placed her hand on his. “It’s alright, Sweetheart,’ she said soothingly, “we’ll soon be in the air.”

  “That’s what worries me,” Kent said, between clenched teeth.

  She giggled. “It’s not the take off you have to worry about anyway, it’s the landing.”

  He groaned. “Has anyone ever told you that you have a sadistic streak?”

  “No never.” She kissed him on the cheek. “It’ll be alright, you’ll see.”

  “If only you had the power to make good on that promise. But I’m afraid god is the only one who can come through on a promise like that.”

  His tightened their grip as the plane began to taxi down the runway. The second the wheels left the tarmac his eyes involuntarily closed, and he kept them closed for an eternity.

  “You can open them now,” Christy prompted, after the plane had cleared the airport. “We’re safely in the air.”