Beautiful Souls

by Mullanix, Sarah

  “Dad! Leo!” I called out.

  I searched high and low for their dark silhouettes against the blinding blaze. They had been so close to the explosion. Could my shield really be strong enough to repel such force?

  My mom stood steps back, remaining in place where the second blow had left her standing. We both sobbed and watched on in horror as the second story of the home collapsed, sinking into the lower level and disappearing from sight as if it had never existed at all. I knew then, from my mom’s expression along with the gravity of devastation that took place before my very eyes, that there was no more hope of Leo’s mother making it out alive. It was impossible. Not even magic and spells could have protected her from this.

  I finally glimpsed movement just beyond the back edge of the charred house. The ring of fire still existed, lively engulfing and overtaking the home inch by inch. My tensed muscles finally released at the sight of them; my dad and Leo had made it out of there alive. My mom was still behind me crying uncontrollably, screaming my dad’s name.

  “Over there!” I shouted to her, pointing the direction of the dark shadowy movements I had just spotted.

  Here dark eyes glowed in the light of the fire and searched the area I’d pointed out. She held her breath in anticipation and waited to see her husband’s face emerge from the blaze at any second.

  I watched in shock as what I thought were two pairs of human legs step out into the night. A singed coyote, the very same one that attempted the attack on me, stood at the edge of the flames and looked back toward the fire, taking in the damage and devastation. A second later, it sprinted toward the woods and became nothing more than a dark, streaking blur taking off into the night.

  My heart sank. I watched two more figures emerge from the violently whipping and hissing flames. They took off, faster than I ever anticipated, after the coyote. They ran angrily and raging across the road, then made easy work of crossing the pitted, icy field.

  I glanced to my mom for a moment, my eyes pled with hers for an explanation that would make everything all right, but it did not come. There was nothing she could’ve said or done to change what had happened.

  My mom and I watched together, our arms around each other’s waists, as the two other shapes --- my dad and Leo, wolf and mountain lion --- bolted from our view, becoming dark blurs of fury soaked up by the night. Their animal forms disappeared into the haunted forest after their prey; nothing but the hunt, sparked by rage and unbearable grief, driving them forward.

  Chapter 11.

  Saying Goodbye

  good-bye

  /,good’bi/

  Exclamation

  Used to express good wishes when parting or at

  the end of a conversation.

  Noun

  An instance of saying “goodbye”; a parting:

  “a final goodbye”.

  Three days after the devastating fire that destroyed Leo’s lifelong home and took the beautiful soul of his mother, we all stood gathered in a grief-stricken circle surrounding the coffin of Claire McMyllin.

  I had never attended a funeral before today. I was too young to attend my grandmother’s funeral, and I was far too small to even remember her death. Every other grandparent of mine died before I had even been born.

  I’d never felt so low and helpless in all my life as I did that very moment. The pit of my stomach seemed to have opened up a bottomless hole where all hope and emotion had gone to die, seemingly never to return.

  Leo and I didn’t talk much; only the necessary words, that he must form in order to get through the day, were verbalized. He made as little human contact with anyone as possible and to my disheartened state that included me.

  Leo wasn’t himself, understandably, even expected, but he seemed to be withdrawing into himself more and more with each passing day. A part of him was missing. His mother’s death had left such a dramatic change and deep sorrow in his daily function and personality that I feared the worst. My thoughts were overcome with worry for him. I was terrified that Leo may never again resemble my best friend --- my boyfriend. It felt to me as if I’d lost him, as well.

  The entire town of Fairview showed to pay their respects at Mrs. McMyllin’s funeral. Emmy, God bless her heart, never left my side. She was there as I firmly gripped Leo’s hand while they pallbearers lowered his mom’s casket into the frozen grave.

  Emmy was also there that morning at my home, helping my mom and I ready our house and prepare food for the wake. And she was there, still loyally by my side, as she sat next to me on our living room couch as friends, relatives, acquaintances, and townspeople mingled in small groups while talking in whispers about the tragedy and loss of such a beloved woman.

  It was very strange to me to be surrounded by all these people who would simply go home and pick up their lives right where they left off. My mind baffled at how the world continued to move on without as much as a hiccup or blink, when it seemed to me as if everything I had previously known just stopped.

  Time still passed, slower at first then more quickly. The pain crept in at random unexpected moments, wrenched my insides, then left me with a dull ache that never fully passed.

  “You’re welcome to stay with us for as long as you need,” my dad’s voice offered sincerely.

  I raised my head to see my dad speaking with Mr. McMyllin at the opposite end of my living room. My mom busily bustled in and out of rooms, refilling drinks and offering food as she saw fit. I knew I should have been helping her, but I just couldn’t force myself to move from my position on the couch.

  Leo sat alone in a corner, hollow bags rested under each eye. His eyes now looked bluish-gray in color, as opposed to their regular ocean-blue glow. My heart broke again and again in to hundreds of shards each time I looked directly into those hollow eyes. I sat frozen to my seat, full of grief and sadness at the sight of Leo in the corner all by himself.

  “Thanks,” Mr. McMyllin replied. “I think we might stay at the cottage,” he dropped his voice at that word, “For a little while…if that’s all right with you.”

  “Of course,” my dad nodded. “Use it for as long as you need.” “I do have one favor to ask though.” Mr. McMyllin continued, “If it’s not too much trouble, of course. We’ll be too far out in order to get back over here in the mornings, and I’d be very appreciative if you could feed and water the horses before you set off to work in the mornings. Leo can head over after school to take care of the rest.”

  “I’ll do it,” I let out before I had even considered what I was saying.

  Everyone turned to stare momentarily, apparently startled by my sudden outburst.

  “Why thank you, Becca. That’s very kind of you,” he paused. “Are you sure though? You know, with everything you have going on? Do you think you’ll be able to spare the time?”

  I knew immediately what Mr. McMyllin had been referring to --- learning and practicing my new powers. “Yes,” I answered. “I want to do it.”

  That was definitely true. I did want to do it. I wanted to be near anything that reminded me of the old Leo; the same one that had remained a constant source of kindness and stability in my life --- until these past three days.

  Leo and I had spent countless hours in that barn while growing up. I knew that by simply being there each morning, I would again feel a small amount of that closeness we shared for so many years. Now that he had become so distant, I desperately needed that feeling of security back.

  “Thank you, Becca,” Mr. McMyllin answered gratefully.

  I caught a flicker flash through Leo’s eyes as they momentarily shone their familiar ocean-blue color. Leo’s father thanked everyone for their kind words and support. Together they walked out.

  I wasn’t sure why, but that felt final. Maybe it was Leo’s change in personality or appearance. Perhaps it was the lack of words, lack of any acknowledgement of me, lack of any emotion at all, but it felt like goodbye when he silently walked out of my living room. It felt as if he had just
walked out of my life, as well.

  My heart ached even more than before. When Leo walked out the door, I felt all the breath in my lungs being sucked out. I was beyond tears, beyond screaming for him to come back, beyond anything I’ve ever felt before. I wanted nothing but to curl up into a ball in this very spot and sleep till the pain subsided.

  The only thing that kept me somewhat functioning was the thought of spending each morning in the McMyllin’s barn, surrounded by familiar smells and memories of my childhood and the times we spent together. A faint hope spread through my body. Maybe, just maybe, the same familiarity would send sparks of life back into Leo’s heart and mind. Maybe, over time, he would make his way back to me. All I had to do was be patient and wait. Maybe, just maybe, I thought. And for the first time in days, since Leo’s mother died, I felt a tinge of hopefulness.

  December 2012

  Dear Diary,

  -Leo showed up zero times for school.

  -My family showed up at the cottage four times for Sunday night dinner with Leo and his dad.

  -Leo said “hi” and “bye” one time each during Sunday night dinners.

  -There was no other contact.

  January 2013

  Dear Diary,

  -Leo showed up zero times for school.

  -My family showed up four times at the cottage for Sunday night dinner with Leo and his dad.

  -Leo said “hi” and “bye” one time each during Sunday night dinners.

  -There was no other contact.

  February 2013

  Dear Diary,

  -Leo showed up one time for school but left before lunch.

  -My family showed up at the cottage four times for Sunday night dinner with Leo and his dad.

  -Leo said “hi” and “bye” one time each during Sunday night dinners. He smiled at me one time.

  -There was no other contact.

  March 2013

  Dear Diary,

  -Leo showed up five times for school.

  -My family showed up at the cottage four times for Sunday night dinner with Leo and his dad.

  -Leo said “hi” and “bye” one time each during Sunday night dinners. He smiled at me one time during each dinner, and reached for my hand one time as he told me

  goodbye.

  -There was no other contact.

  Chapter 12.

  His Return…& Hers

  re-turn

  /ri’tern/

  Verb

  Come or go back to.

  Noun

  An act of coming or going back to something.

  Thankfully, most of Indiana had been granted a mild winter. Only two snow days to speak of, and neither had been cumulative. The past few months had remained uneventful; supernaturally speaking the world was calm, as was every other aspect of my life. Sad but true.

  Now that the early signs of spring had begun to appear, a contractor had wiped away any signs of the fire and cleared the remaining rubble that used to be Leo’s home. The charred landscape no longer existed and in its place sat the foundation of Leo’s, and his father’s, new home.

  I escaped my house as quickly as manageable every morning after I scarfed down my breakfast, loaded my school bag into my car, and drove across the road as promised to care for the McMyllin’s two horses. I had kept my word to feed and water them each morning before school, and I savored that time. I spent the earliest part of my days since the funeral feeding, exercising, and brushing Sabastian and Cleo.

  Cleo --- short for Cleopatra --- had been named aptly for her gorgeous slick and shiny black coat. She was finicky --- but so was I --- and incredibly sweet. Sabastian was a beautiful chestnut color, huge and muscular. He was a good old boy that fell into his morning routine of feed, exercise, and brushing without much lead from me.

  I had just released the two horses from the walk inside the corral. I had a tight grip on their leads, one in each hand, as I headed back toward the barn to begin their brushing. That’s when I saw him. Him. The sight took my breath away, and I stood frozen in a pool of morning light, staring at what I thought had to be a figment of my imagination.

  Leo was bathed in a ray of golden light, eyes shining. I wondered if I had conjured his image out of pure wishful thinking. He stood casually, leaning against the barn door, clad in faded jeans, a plaid unbuttoned shirt with the sleeved rolled to his elbows, and a tight-fitting white t-shirt clung to his skin and gleamed from between the buttons. He was wearing his worn baseball cap dipped low over those deep, ocean eyes which almost appeared to be aqua as they sparkled in the glow of morning sun.

  No one spoke. We both stood frozen, staring at each other for seconds that felt like minutes, until I was forced to regain Sabastian’s lead as he stomped his front hooves instigated by Cleo’s whinny.

  “Hey,” he broke our silence first, one hand in the front pocket of his jeans while the other raised to adjust his baseball cap.

  “Hi.”

  “How’ve you been?”

  “I’ve been better,” I answered simply and honestly.

  He nodded in understanding. “Me too.”

  “I know.” I completely understood. I really did. I thought I did. What I couldn’t grasp hold of was the understanding of how he could just leave me high and dry for months after everything we had been through together, without even as much as an explanation or goodbye.

  Leo rarely showed up for school anymore, and only his dad had shown up on their farm to take care of the horses in the evenings and to also check on the progress of the new house. The only times I had even laid eyes on Leo in the past months were when my mom had taken it upon herself to cook and deliver Sunday dinners to the cottage. My dad and I always rode along, and the five of us would sit mostly in silence and eat. My mom thought it would do everyone good to have a sense of routine and regular interaction after such a devastating loss, but nothing remained the same in the aftermath of that fateful day.

  “Here, let me take him,” Leo reached for Sabastian’s lead and led him into the barn. I followed closely behind with Cleo.

  Lullabelle, Leo’s yellow Labrador, leapt from the back corner of the barn where she always slept on a big, worn-out horse blanket, and she bounded through the straw-filled stalls with Leo in her sights. She lunged, pressing her muddy paws against Leo’s legs. Her tongue hung lazily and dripped with overflowing happiness as her tail wagged the speed of a helicopter propeller, only a golden blur of fur to be seen.

  “Hey, girl. How’ve you been?” Leo patted Lullabelle’s head and stroked her back as she let out a cheerful yelp.

  This moment felt like old times again. Leo and I hanging out in the barn, Lullabelle running circles around our legs, Leo’s easiness and crooked grin enticing feelings of security, coziness, and home. This is what I’d been longing for, what I needed, what had been missing from my life for the past several months. I actually found myself becoming jealous of the attention he was paying Lullabelle, as crazy as that sounds.

  I wanted nothing more than to turn back the clock and have that flawless, innocent relationship with Leo back again. It wasn’t that long ago, but we were both different now. Life was different now. Leo had been forever changed by his mother’s death, and the seclusion he and his father imposed on themselves left me slightly bitter and less trusting as a result.

  “Looks like someone’s happy to see you.”

  “Only her?” Leo asked, those beloved eyes gazing directly into mine from beneath his dark lashes and baseball cap.

  I stalled, not sure if I should answer the question truthfully or lie in order to save face. I chose the former, deciding that Leo had been through enough and I didn’t need punishment from me added to his troubled heart.

  “Not just her,” I answered.

  “Hmm, that’s good to hear.” I thought I saw the beginning of a crooked grin form across his lips.

  “It’s nice to see you outside of the cottage. You know…back here, I mean. It’s kinda like old times again.”

&nb
sp; He looked around the barn and then back toward me. “It is nice.”

  “So, I’m really happy to see you…but why are you here?”

  “I wanted to talk to you, Bec.”

  Oh, he called me Bec.

  “I wanted to explain,” he added.

  “Okay.”

  “I don’t really know where to start,” Leo shook his head looking confused, almost tired.

  “Is something wrong, Leo?”

  “Not wrong, exactly. Its just…I don’t know, strange maybe.”

  “Well, what?”

  “You know, with everything we can do, with all our powers combined…it still didn’t make a difference. She died. I tried to save her, but she still died.”

  My heart broke in two. I didn’t know what to say. For all the pain, loneliness, and despair I’d felt these last few miserable months, I knew it had been a hundred times worse for Leo.

  I stepped closer to him. I wanted so badly to touch him, to feel his familiar warmth against my skin. I hesitated, then decided to go for it. I laid the palm of my free hand against his soft, white-cotton t-shirt and felt his heart rate speed up behind his firm muscular chest.

  “I know. I’m so sorry. I know that’s not enough, but I don’t know what else to say. Nothing will make this better or bring her back, and I’m just so sorry. I can’t even imagine if it had been my mom.”

  “It is enough, Becca. Believe me, this helps. Having some kind of normalcy after all the strangeness and sadness…it helps.” He laid his strong callused hand over mine, still resting on his chest.

  “I’m glad I can do something at least…anything.”

  “I miss this,” he said. “I miss us.”

  “Me too.”

  “I don’t know how to get it back though. So much has happened.”